The Biography of a Transdimensional Bronyby The12GageKid_Bron3Chapters2: "Say Goodnight"3: "The Red Tide"1: "The Button of DOO- I Mean, Rainbows and Lollipops"2: "Say Goodnight"The Biography of a Transdimensional Brony "That's new." John understated. "Your computer doesn't do that normally?" Twilight asked, confused. "No." John breathed as the screen returned to normal. "There we go." "So, what do we do now?" Renee asked. "You're in a library." John said bluntly. Twilight asked Renee if she had a certain genre in mind. They went off, as James took Holiday to explore the town, as she seemed to be able to guide him. This left John, his computer, and his dog; who was curled up, sleeping on his lap. John began typing away on his keyboard. Help! I'm stuck in a world full of technicolor ponies! 22 likes "I have such great friends." John said sarcasticly. Just then, five letters poofed into existance, and hit the back of his head in machine-gun fashion. John picked up one. I'll be there in a sec. -RD John grabbed the rest and skimmed through them, all seemed to follow Rainbow Dash's example. As he finished reading the letters, a large scroll appeared in front of him, with a sun emblem on the ribbon, which was purple. John snatched it out of the air, and hastily opened it. Much to his disappointment, only three words were written. I'll be there. "Well, Celestia reads the mail." John observed, not at all surprised. "I mean, isn't that what governments do?" John asked himself. "I just don't know why you don't have anything like Harry Potter." Renee explained to the lavender unicorn in front of her. "I'm sorry, it seems that it has not been written yet." Twilight stated. "Fine, how about any horror stories?" Renee asked. "Follow me." Twilight motioned. They went off to a small room filled with more books than the shelves could hold, books were stacked in towers on the floor. It was lit by a small gas lantern. "Hey Twilight!" John bellowed, startling the mare and causing the books to shift and rustle. Twilight walked to the main library. "What?" She asked. "Where's your lab?" John questioned. "Why?" Twilight countered. "I have some great ideas to try here, mostly to see if basic physics carry over." John elaborated with a dismissive wave of his hands. "Sure, just through that door." Twilight responded, and pointed to a small, slightly charred, door. John thanked the unicorn and asked one last question. "Do you have potassium nitrate, charcoal powder, and sulfur?" "Yes, they are labeled, you should be able to find them easily." Twilight stated. John thanked her again, than went through the door, behind which lay a staircase, which he went down. He was met with a decent sized lab, which looked more suited to alchemy than modern science, but nonetheless, would serve the purpose he had in mind. He immediately spotted three large barrels labeled with the aforementioned chemicals. He then set out on a search for a tri-beam scale. He found it, twenty minutes later, right on top of the barrels. He sucked at finding things. "Let's get to work." John said, as he retrieved three bowls, filling them with chemicals after weighing them. He then poured the appropriate ratio into a pile on a slab of stone he found. "Fire." John reminded himself. he grabbed a wooden rod and transferred the flame from a nearby lamp to the small pile. It made a small pop and produced a metric tonne of smoke. John coughed and fanned the smoke from his face, smiling. "Perfect." John whispered. He began the process of small-scale mass production. Eventually arriving at a small mountain of black powder. He uttered a evil laugh and quickly placed the powder in the barrels the ingredients once occupied. Meanwhile: Holiday was taking James on a tour of Ponyville, as they saw a rainbow streak fly past them, followed closely by a pink one. They both stood in shock, then set off towards them, heading in the direction of the library. There was a hurried rapping at the door, which Twilight ran to answer, leaving Renee engrossed in a book entitled 'Night Shift'. She opened the door to see her five friends gathered on her doorstep. All asked to come in, and if she was alright. "Yes, I'm fine, come in." Twilight confirmed and ushered the ponies inside. John bolted up the stairs, hearing many footsteps. He burst out of the door, hair blown back and face sooty in true mad scientist mode. "Hello small ponies!" He bellowed, in a mock Russian accent. All the ponies stared at him, expression ranging from fear to confusion. Rainbow Dash broke the silence first. "What are you?" She boldly asked. "I am human, my name is John." John explained, maintaining the accent. "Why are you here?" Rainbow Dash inquired. "I don't know, a button appeared in my house, my stepdad pushed it, my family and I went through, now I'm here." John elaborated, ditching the accent, for now. "Seems legit." Rainbow stated, shaking her head, agreeing. "Wh- what's that?" A quiet voice asked from the back, and a yellow hoof gestured to the computer, softly whirring. "Is Sasha, my computer." John picked the accent up again. He laughed heartily, and then explained to them what a computer was. "Oh..." Fluttershy said, then her eyes landed on Jack. She immediately went over to him and fussed over him. "Who's a cute little puppy?" She asked rhetorically, in a sing-song voice. "I am." Jack responded. Fluttershy gasped and started asking Jack all sorts of questions. "Ah have to wonder, what's that smell. It smells like them fireworks that that Trixie gal was usin'. " Applejack asked, covering her muzzle with a hoof. "That's my fault. I wanted to see if gunpowder could be created here, and it can." John gave a thumbs up gesture, and as he did so, a large cracking sound was heard, as darkness filled the room for a second. "Hello bipedal subject." Princess Luna stated to the awestruck human. "Your majesty." John replied as he bowed. "Rise, human." Luna commanded. "We have much work to do." "What do you mean?" John asked. "We have much paperwork to do." Luna stated. "What's going on?" Renee, Holiday, and James asked in unison. "Family, this is Princess Luna, one of the two monarchs of Equestria, excluding Princess Mi Amore Cadenza." John explained. Just then, a rustling could be heard, and a red object fell to the floor, face down. An inverted rainbow portal opened, and sucked Renee, James and Holiday in. It closed as suddenly as it opened. A small bunny was on top of John's backpack, grinning devilishly. "You. Just. Sent. My family. AWAY!" John screamed, putting a one-handed stranglehold on Angel. Fluttershy gasped as the bunny squirmed in John's grasp. "John, you're hurting him." Fluttershy whimpered softly. John tightened his grip, then dropped an oxygen deprived bunny, who started gulping in the air around him, trying to catch his breath. "I'm going into the lab." John sighed, as he motioned for Jack to follow. He climbed down the stairs once again, feeling the air cool and moisten. It had a calming effect, as John felt he could breath again. He looked around the lab, assessing the supplies at hand. "Equestria shall pay." John grinned. 3: "The Red Tide"The Biography of a Transdimensional Brony "What am I saying, I can't destroy a world for the actions of a small, evil bunny. Besides, I can't take on any magic users until I understand how to counter their power." John sighed to himself. My family is gone. I might not see them again. John sat on the last step and broke down in tears. "Hey, at least you still have me." Jack attempted to comfort him. John tried to pull himself together. "Yeah. I need to keep going. I probably have bigger fish to fry." "Atta boy." Jack encouraged. "Come on buddy." John told Jack, as his heart twinged from his memories of his own world. "Time to destroy some infidels!" "But you're an atheist." Jack teased. John uttered a weak laugh as the pair climbed up the stairs. They entered the room to see Fluttershy nursing Angel, who was milking the 'injury' he sustained for all it's worth, Twilight conversing with Luna, Pinkie Pie being, well herself. He also saw a lack of Applejack and Rainbow Dash. "Wo sind die Ponys?" John slipped into German for a second, as he did from time to time. "What'd Y'all say pardner?" A certain southern equine asked, followed closely by a rainbow-maned pegasus, both sporting a deep blush. "Wait, what's with the blushes? And also I asked where the ponies were, the you answered my question." John fired, speaking at a speed a minigun would have strained to obtain. "I-it's nothing." Rainbow Dash defended, looking shady. "Seems legit." John laughed. "Now, John, I must ask you a boon." Luna stated, having been brought up to speed by Twilight. "Princess, with all due respect, if you could call me 'Conscript', that would be better." John asked, trying to forget his previous life. Luna looked at him quizzically, then nodded her head. "Conscript, come with me." Luna held out her wing, and motioned for John to get under it. He obliged. He felt the weight and warmth of the wing. Soon, darkness enveloped them, as Jack ran into John's arms. A familiar scent carried through blackness. The smell of damp decay, like an old house after rain. It reminded John of home, more specifically, the house's air conditioner, but hey, it was all he had. When they arrived, the group was met with a regal setting, no doubt the royal throne room itself. A tall white horse approached them. John bolted up to his feet. "Celestia." John snarled, glaring at the Princess. "John." Celestia acknowledged, dismissing the human's blatant anger. "What?" John demanded of the monarch, fists curling. "That's no way to speak to a princess." Celestia scolded, and Luna's face seemed to show anger at John's tone. "You have only the authority I give you." John stated through gritted teeth. "Really?" Celestia mocked as she blanketed him in a greenish-yellow aura. Or, tried to, at least, the spell immediately broke on contact with John. "Maybe you should try something else." John sneered as he checked his watch, checking the math of a problem he just remembered. This time, it was Luna who attempted the spell, a dark aura attempted at him, but retreated as the elder sister's did. Then a purple-wight light appeared in front of him. It faded, leaving a blue and black box in front of John. Along with it came a screen, keyboard, and wires; it softly whirred. "Sasha!" John boomed in his mock Russian accent, causing the royals to take a step back. "What is that?" Luna asked, seemingly fearful. "Is Sasha, my computer." John explained, maintaining the accent. "I-i think I read a book about those." Luna quavered, backing up. "Luna, don't be afraid, is just friend." John coaxed, not noticing the white ruler behind him, gearing up for her finishing move. "I, Princess Celestia, hereby banish thee to the moon!" Celestia bellowed, as a white beam shot towards John. It reflected off of an invisible wall, encompassing the boy, his dog, who had no idea what was going on, and his computer. It struck the monarch, sending her about ten meters up. She landed with a thud. John chuckled, and helped the alicorn up. "See? Only the power I give you." "How?" Celestia asked. "I don't know if you have a thing called logic here, but it tends to not like magic." John hoped that Celestia bought it, truth is, John had no idea what was going on. He helped Celestia to her feet. "So I ask again, what's the problem?" John requested. "We don't know. The outer rim of towns have succumbed to attacks of unknown origin and type." Luna stated, still wary of the boy. "Alright. I can possibly help, for a price. I will need a lab of my own, preferably in the castle, and a way to requisition materiel." John sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "The force might be using the amulet of Tanzen." Luna continued. John giggled at this, thinking of German 1. His teacher always had a dance that went with it. To this day, it was burned into his memory. "The amulet of Tanzen is no laughing matter, it allows the user to corrupt any soul beyond repair." Celestia scolded. John cast her a gaze that would've made salting and burning all the farmland in Equestria seem like a tea party. "As my sister was saying, the Tanzen amulet can corrupt souls, but, it won't corrupt souls that it deems corrupted." Luna explained. "That's where I come in, I go find the amulet, destroy said amulet, allowing the enemy to be defeated." John deduced. "Typical." "How did you know?" Both the sisters asked, shocked. "Like I said, it's typical." John stated. "O-kay." Celestia muttered, looking worried. "Alright, before I set off, I'll need to upgrade all the tech involved." John declared, booting up Sasha. "Alright, how?" Luna decided to play along. "Give me a week with the best of your scientists." John told the pair. He walked into the throne room once again, picked up Sasha, and demanded to be returned to Ponyville. He was immediately teleported back. He stretched and walked off towards the library. It had sort of become his home. Well, house, it's not a home yet. He soon arrived at the familiar door, and thought before knocking. Okay, how am I going to do this. Upgrade tech first. Next, create a doomsday device. Wait, strike that, make means of transport. Thirdly, well, that's best not discussed, even in my own head. John's mind simulated the events that could unfold, most of them were positive. They are only ponies. Let's open the door. And so John did. He was greeted by four faces, again missing Applejack and RD. "Are those two off snogging again?" John asked, chuckling a bit as he did. All nodded in affirmation. "Ha! Alright then, let's get down to business. Celestia has assigned us to a very dangerous mission." John explained, and was met with sarcastic looks of 'you don't say?'. "Oh, I guess you must've been informed... Anyway, I'll be gone for about a week, trying to give some semblance of technology. Also, Rarity, I need to ask you something, come along." John motioned for Rarity to follow him to the far end of the library. Which she did, if hesitantly. John booted up Sasha and showed Rarity of a deep blue, well, near- black, high-collar navy coat. He figured it would protect him from the middle of his calves to his cheekbones from any cold. "Could you please make this?" He asked the fashionista. "Yes, I suppose so, but there is one thing." Rarity spoke. "What's wrong?" John asked, concerned. "I made something like these for some ponies once. They were dreadful, smelled of alcohol, criticized my owning of the Boutique, and kept calling me 'Comrade'." Rarity elaborated. John smiled. "I'm not like that... Comrade." John joked. "That's not funny!" Rarity whin- complained. "I kid, I kid." John reassured. "But, as I was saying, I can make these. Should cost you... well, consider it a gift." Rarity continued. "Great, but there's a couple things that I have to ask yet." John stated. "First, can you make some pants out of the same sort of material, as well as a captain's hat?" John asked, showing her a picture depicting anthropomorphic ponies in a submarine, wearing such clothes. "Wait is that Fluttershy? And Rainbow Dash? And Twilight?" Rarity asked, shock on her face. "Yes, but the clothing, can you make it?" John responded. "Of course." Rarity said. "Thanks." John replied, walking over to Twilight. "Hey Twilight, would you like to come along to Canterlot. Help me test some of the things?" John asked, then thought for a microsecond, and addressed the whole room. "On second thought, how about you all come along?" John queried, and a round of 'Yes!' could be heard. Perfect. 1: "The Button of DOO- I Mean, Rainbows and Lollipops"Biography of a Transdimensional Brony It was a normal day for John, same small dog, same old house, same parents, same freakishly annoying sister. He reflected over this, and smiled. He liked ruts, they meant that everything was in order. Ruts are good. But like so many ruts he had once been accustomed to, this one was soon to be destroyed. "Oi! John!" John's overly British stepfather, James, bellowed up the stairs. "What?" John called back, keeping his computer on standby, hoping that he would be back soon. "Get down here!" James yelled in response. "Okay..." John sighed. It was Saturday, the ONLY day he got to be free, what with church on Sunday and marching band on Friday. You see, John was always busy on the weekends, but had ridiculous amounts of time during the week. "What?" John asked James. "We're going to clean." James replied, and then delegated jobs to John, as his sister was at school, and his mom at some meeting. John did as he was told, and as he was cleaning behind the couch, he saw a shiny red button that had 'Don't panic' written across it in large, white letters. It couldn't have been in the house very long, as it wasn't torn up yet. "Hey Jame! Get up 'ere!" John yelled to his step-dad, who was cleaning the basement. A large thudding sound came up the stairs, signaling James' arrival. "What happened?" James asked, out of breath. "Look what I found." John said, triumphantly raising up the button. "A button. You made me almost have a heart attack for a button." James said, running his fingers through his near-nonexistent hair. "Yes." Replied John, sheepishly. "It's probably something your mom brought home from the thrift store." James responded. "But, it just feels different, like it's magical." John answered, hands cupping it. "Here, I'll press it when your mom gets home, but you have to clean first." James said, taking the button, and putting it on the island. The day after that was uneventful. It was cleaning, but he got to play his computer in the down time between cleaning and his mom arriving. Then his sister burst through his door. "I'm home!" She yelled. "You know, that's why my door can be opened just by pushing on it, no need to turn the handle." John reflected. He had once nailed his door to it's frame, just to keep his sister from barging in on him like she just did. "Get down here!" James yelled up the stairs, John then put his headphones on his desk, leaving his computer on. It took bloody ages to get internet, he once spent twenty minutes attempting to log on. John walked down the stairway. "Hey John." John's mother, Renee, said amiably, hugging her son. "How was your day?" She asked, releasing the boy. John stepped back slightly, smiling. "You know, we cleaned." "I saw." Renee observed. "Also, I found that." John said, gesturing to the button. "Did you get that, per chance?" "I-I don't remember getting that." John's mom answered, with a look like she was racking her mind. "Told you." John retorted to James. "Alright, alright." James responded, looking defeated. "Press it then." John suggested, striking a Vana White-esque pose. "I promised him I would." James explained to Renee, as he began to press the red hemisphere. Nothing happened, then a loud crack and a rainbow portal appeared in the wall, big enough for a small bus. "Well, that just happened." James declared, eyes wide. "Who- wher- wha...?" James stammered. "Where does it lead?" Renee asked, dumbfounded. "I have no idea." John answered. "I'll go get Holiday." James stammered, backing up, towards the stairwell that led upstairs. "I vill get Sasha." John slipped into a Russian accent and followed James. John burst into his room and turned his computer off, unplugged it and his monitor. He then dug a solar generator out of his closet, along with some large batteries. "Thank goodness for Radio Shack." John muttered as he assembled his electronics and a backpack full of school items. "If I get bored, I'll have a math textbook." John chuckled at how absurd that sounded for most kids to say. You see, John actually liked to learn,to him, it opened whole new worlds. "I'll need this." John said, stuffing a survival book into his backpack. Then he went down the steps, before running back up and grabbing some paper, a pencil, a sharpener, and a clipboard. "Never hurt." John explained to himself before packing one last time and heading down to the kitchen. "Alright, let's go." Instructed James. "I'll go first." And go he did, right into the portal, along with a cooler. "Holiday, follow me." Renee was holding Holiday's hand, while both donned backpacks, no doubt filled with nonessentials. They followed James through the portal. "Am I the only one..." John muttered to himself, striking a pose like the infamous meme, before grabbing the button and heading through, his dog following right behind. There was complete darkness except for a small bubble of dim light around the boy and his dog. "Hey boy, how are you?" John asked his black mutt, expecting no response. "I'm good, where are we going?" Jack responded. "Why are you talking English!?" John exclaimed, taken aback. "I don't know, but who cares, we get to go to a new place, pee on new trees, sniff new butts..." Jack was lost in a daydream. "We'll see." John sighed as a bright white light enveloped the boy and his pooch. The pair were thrown into the clearing of a forest of some sort, the trees seemed eerily dark. The nearby bushes rustled. The boy was the first to recover due to panic. "Who's there?" John screamed, looking around. "Be thee friend or foe?" A blob of shadow asked from behind John. "I be friend." John responded. "What be thee?" "I be friend." A small equine walked out of the shadows, revealing his beige coat, horn, and a picture of a black pen writing in red ink on his flank. John remembered something that might help him. "Where's Ponyville?" He asked. "It lay on the other side of these trees." The pony stated, gesturing. "Have you seen an overweight Englishman, an annoying little girl, and one overprotective lady?" John questioned. "Yes, I walked them here." The equine reported, pulling aside a part of a bush, revealing John's family. Jack woke up and started growling at the pony. "Oh, shut up Jack." John said wearily, and Jack did so. "Oh, and what be thine name?" John questioned, going back to middle English. "I be Black Quill." The pony stated. "And you be?" "I be John." John responded. "So about that Ponyville, can we head for it?" "Yep." Black Quill answered, then motioned for the group to follow him. They traveled through the dense deciduous brush, which got thinner and more spread out with each passing step. "Not much farther, come on." Quill encouraged. Soon, the forest gave way to a meadow, on which, a town was seen. "That's Ponyville." Quill stated, gesturing again. "Thank you Black Quill, we owe you." John said, motioning for the group to follow him. "You're welcome." Quill said, fading back into the Everfree. The group soon arrived at a normal, albeit cartoonish town. The rest of the group wanted to stand and gawk, but John marched them to a tree house, and knocked on the slightly too small door. "Ye-" Was all that the lavender unicorn got out before she saw the group. "Hello, we mean you no harm, we are humans, and we would like your assistance." John explained slowly, as to not startle the mare more than she already was. "H-hi." The unicorn said shakily. She bolted inside, then motioned with a hoof for them to come with her. The group crammed themselves through the door, only to find a ridiculously big room on the other side. "Mighty fine place ya got here." John observed, putting his packing on the floor. "Where are we?" James asked, still gawking in the unicorn's direction. "If this town is called Ponyville, and, small horse, what country are we in?" John delineated. "Equestria." The mare stammered, unsure. "Aha! If that's true, then you must be Twilight Sparkle, the forest we were in was the Everfree, tell me Twilight, do you know of one Equestria High?" John deducted, in true Sherlock Holmes style. "Y-yes, I went there to get my crown back." Twilight shakily stated, looking worried. "Ah, so we're here post season three." John stated, raising a finger triumphantly. "So, Miss Sparkle, where are your wings, as you were crowned an alicorn princess at the end of the season." "I-i don't want to talk about it..." Twilight murmured, looking down. Holiday ran over to comfort her, John still thinking, as a faint sound, not unlike clockwork, could be heard. "There there Twilight..." Holiday whispered into her lavender ear. "Alright, so some convoluted plot happened to make Twilicorn temporary. Therefore, we are in an altered universe, from which we can conclude what?" John asked James and Renee, and Jack responded. "That we're in a fanfiction." Jack answered, making John give him an affectionate pat on the head. "I knew I taught you well." John remarked, going right back into detective mode. "So Twilight, where are your other five friends?" John asked. "Fluttershy's in her cottage, Rainbow's at her house, I think. Applejack is over at Sugarcube corner, planning Applebloom's party with Pinkie. Rarity is off in Canterlot, attending a fashion show or something." Twilight listed, ears perking up at the mention of her friends. "Why?" "Because, if this is a fanfiction, which it is, then some evil must be readying to assault Equestria, or already has. Get Spike in here, if you would kindly." John explained. "Spike, can you please come down?" Twilight called up the stairs. John's heart twinged as he remembered his home, the home he left, perhaps permanently. "Yeah... Wha?" Spike gawked at the gathering from a perch on the stairs. "Spike, I need you to take a letter." John stated, and he started to plug his computer in to the solar and battery array. He hooked up his monitor and such afterwards, still at blinding speed. Spike fetched paper, a quill and a ink well as John did his thing. "Spike, you'll need more paper than that." John reminded Spike. "How many letters do you want to send?" Spike asked rhetorically, fetching the extra supplies. "Address them to Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack and Fluttershy." John listed. Spike did so. "Write on each; 'Meet at Twilight's house. It is imperative that you do so quickly." Spike mumbled as he spoke, until he got to 'imperative'. "How do you spell that?" Spike asked. "I-M-P-E-R-A-T-I-V-E." John spelled out for Spike. "Thanks." Spike remarked, and returned to his task, still mumbling. "Now, if you could send it please." John requested after Spike had completed his duty. Green flame burst from the small dragon's mouth and burned the letters, the ashes carried into the distance. "Now we wait." John stated, and booted up his computer. A Windows XP logo appeared, and the infamous startup melody played through his headphones. He looked at his desktop, and saw that all his programs were still there, he breathed a sigh of relief. Then he noticed something. Something that shouldn't have worked... was working. He had internet! He effing had internet! John jumped a bit with pure excitement. "What's going on?" Renee asked. "I! HAVE! INTERNET!" John screamed. "How?" James asked, coming over to look at the screen. "The network is called 'We all sink up here', it doesn't have a password, and full signal at one hundred eighty two megabits per second." John stated. "That's odd." James remarked, surprised. "Yeah." John added, double clicking on an internet icon. A familiar home page popped up, with a very familiar favorites bar. "Alright, let's see which fanfiction we're in..." Mumbled John as he went to FIMFiction. He clicked the 'human' tag, and it was the first thing to pop up. "Seems that we're in a fanfiction entitled 'Biography of a Transdimensional Brony.' written by The12GageKid." John read. He then read into the story slightly, trying to find out what's going on. He found nothing helpful, as anything that hadn't happened wasn't there. "Great." John sighed. Everyone seemed to have gathered around him as he was reading. Twilight seemed perplexed. "What is that?" "This is a desktop computer. The thing I'm reading from is called a monitor, and the whirring thing is the computer tower." John explained. "Oh, how does it work?" Twilight asked. "It works by using electricity to interact with the hardware inside the tower and monitor." John elaborated. "What's electricity?" Twilight inquired. "Imagine tiny lightning bolts that can be controlled, to an extent." John droned. "Oh." Twilight noticed the change in tone and stopped asking questions. The monitor went black, then five words, shown in red and followed by a quill, popped up. You are not alone here. Author's Note Well, that's that. You may notice some comments were deleted. This is actually the second posting of this story. It has gone through major revisions (especially in the later chapters). As such, I felt that the comments here were no longer about the same story, and removed them.
2: "Say Goodnight"The Biography of a Transdimensional Brony "That's new." John understated. "Your computer doesn't do that normally?" Twilight asked, confused. "No." John breathed as the screen returned to normal. "There we go." "So, what do we do now?" Renee asked. "You're in a library." John said bluntly. Twilight asked Renee if she had a certain genre in mind. They went off, as James took Holiday to explore the town, as she seemed to be able to guide him. This left John, his computer, and his dog; who was curled up, sleeping on his lap. John began typing away on his keyboard. Help! I'm stuck in a world full of technicolor ponies! 22 likes "I have such great friends." John said sarcasticly. Just then, five letters poofed into existance, and hit the back of his head in machine-gun fashion. John picked up one. I'll be there in a sec. -RD John grabbed the rest and skimmed through them, all seemed to follow Rainbow Dash's example. As he finished reading the letters, a large scroll appeared in front of him, with a sun emblem on the ribbon, which was purple. John snatched it out of the air, and hastily opened it. Much to his disappointment, only three words were written. I'll be there. "Well, Celestia reads the mail." John observed, not at all surprised. "I mean, isn't that what governments do?" John asked himself. "I just don't know why you don't have anything like Harry Potter." Renee explained to the lavender unicorn in front of her. "I'm sorry, it seems that it has not been written yet." Twilight stated. "Fine, how about any horror stories?" Renee asked. "Follow me." Twilight motioned. They went off to a small room filled with more books than the shelves could hold, books were stacked in towers on the floor. It was lit by a small gas lantern. "Hey Twilight!" John bellowed, startling the mare and causing the books to shift and rustle. Twilight walked to the main library. "What?" She asked. "Where's your lab?" John questioned. "Why?" Twilight countered. "I have some great ideas to try here, mostly to see if basic physics carry over." John elaborated with a dismissive wave of his hands. "Sure, just through that door." Twilight responded, and pointed to a small, slightly charred, door. John thanked the unicorn and asked one last question. "Do you have potassium nitrate, charcoal powder, and sulfur?" "Yes, they are labeled, you should be able to find them easily." Twilight stated. John thanked her again, than went through the door, behind which lay a staircase, which he went down. He was met with a decent sized lab, which looked more suited to alchemy than modern science, but nonetheless, would serve the purpose he had in mind. He immediately spotted three large barrels labeled with the aforementioned chemicals. He then set out on a search for a tri-beam scale. He found it, twenty minutes later, right on top of the barrels. He sucked at finding things. "Let's get to work." John said, as he retrieved three bowls, filling them with chemicals after weighing them. He then poured the appropriate ratio into a pile on a slab of stone he found. "Fire." John reminded himself. he grabbed a wooden rod and transferred the flame from a nearby lamp to the small pile. It made a small pop and produced a metric tonne of smoke. John coughed and fanned the smoke from his face, smiling. "Perfect." John whispered. He began the process of small-scale mass production. Eventually arriving at a small mountain of black powder. He uttered a evil laugh and quickly placed the powder in the barrels the ingredients once occupied. Meanwhile: Holiday was taking James on a tour of Ponyville, as they saw a rainbow streak fly past them, followed closely by a pink one. They both stood in shock, then set off towards them, heading in the direction of the library. There was a hurried rapping at the door, which Twilight ran to answer, leaving Renee engrossed in a book entitled 'Night Shift'. She opened the door to see her five friends gathered on her doorstep. All asked to come in, and if she was alright. "Yes, I'm fine, come in." Twilight confirmed and ushered the ponies inside. John bolted up the stairs, hearing many footsteps. He burst out of the door, hair blown back and face sooty in true mad scientist mode. "Hello small ponies!" He bellowed, in a mock Russian accent. All the ponies stared at him, expression ranging from fear to confusion. Rainbow Dash broke the silence first. "What are you?" She boldly asked. "I am human, my name is John." John explained, maintaining the accent. "Why are you here?" Rainbow Dash inquired. "I don't know, a button appeared in my house, my stepdad pushed it, my family and I went through, now I'm here." John elaborated, ditching the accent, for now. "Seems legit." Rainbow stated, shaking her head, agreeing. "Wh- what's that?" A quiet voice asked from the back, and a yellow hoof gestured to the computer, softly whirring. "Is Sasha, my computer." John picked the accent up again. He laughed heartily, and then explained to them what a computer was. "Oh..." Fluttershy said, then her eyes landed on Jack. She immediately went over to him and fussed over him. "Who's a cute little puppy?" She asked rhetorically, in a sing-song voice. "I am." Jack responded. Fluttershy gasped and started asking Jack all sorts of questions. "Ah have to wonder, what's that smell. It smells like them fireworks that that Trixie gal was usin'. " Applejack asked, covering her muzzle with a hoof. "That's my fault. I wanted to see if gunpowder could be created here, and it can." John gave a thumbs up gesture, and as he did so, a large cracking sound was heard, as darkness filled the room for a second. "Hello bipedal subject." Princess Luna stated to the awestruck human. "Your majesty." John replied as he bowed. "Rise, human." Luna commanded. "We have much work to do." "What do you mean?" John asked. "We have much paperwork to do." Luna stated. "What's going on?" Renee, Holiday, and James asked in unison. "Family, this is Princess Luna, one of the two monarchs of Equestria, excluding Princess Mi Amore Cadenza." John explained. Just then, a rustling could be heard, and a red object fell to the floor, face down. An inverted rainbow portal opened, and sucked Renee, James and Holiday in. It closed as suddenly as it opened. A small bunny was on top of John's backpack, grinning devilishly. "You. Just. Sent. My family. AWAY!" John screamed, putting a one-handed stranglehold on Angel. Fluttershy gasped as the bunny squirmed in John's grasp. "John, you're hurting him." Fluttershy whimpered softly. John tightened his grip, then dropped an oxygen deprived bunny, who started gulping in the air around him, trying to catch his breath. "I'm going into the lab." John sighed, as he motioned for Jack to follow. He climbed down the stairs once again, feeling the air cool and moisten. It had a calming effect, as John felt he could breath again. He looked around the lab, assessing the supplies at hand. "Equestria shall pay." John grinned.
3: "The Red Tide"The Biography of a Transdimensional Brony "What am I saying, I can't destroy a world for the actions of a small, evil bunny. Besides, I can't take on any magic users until I understand how to counter their power." John sighed to himself. My family is gone. I might not see them again. John sat on the last step and broke down in tears. "Hey, at least you still have me." Jack attempted to comfort him. John tried to pull himself together. "Yeah. I need to keep going. I probably have bigger fish to fry." "Atta boy." Jack encouraged. "Come on buddy." John told Jack, as his heart twinged from his memories of his own world. "Time to destroy some infidels!" "But you're an atheist." Jack teased. John uttered a weak laugh as the pair climbed up the stairs. They entered the room to see Fluttershy nursing Angel, who was milking the 'injury' he sustained for all it's worth, Twilight conversing with Luna, Pinkie Pie being, well herself. He also saw a lack of Applejack and Rainbow Dash. "Wo sind die Ponys?" John slipped into German for a second, as he did from time to time. "What'd Y'all say pardner?" A certain southern equine asked, followed closely by a rainbow-maned pegasus, both sporting a deep blush. "Wait, what's with the blushes? And also I asked where the ponies were, the you answered my question." John fired, speaking at a speed a minigun would have strained to obtain. "I-it's nothing." Rainbow Dash defended, looking shady. "Seems legit." John laughed. "Now, John, I must ask you a boon." Luna stated, having been brought up to speed by Twilight. "Princess, with all due respect, if you could call me 'Conscript', that would be better." John asked, trying to forget his previous life. Luna looked at him quizzically, then nodded her head. "Conscript, come with me." Luna held out her wing, and motioned for John to get under it. He obliged. He felt the weight and warmth of the wing. Soon, darkness enveloped them, as Jack ran into John's arms. A familiar scent carried through blackness. The smell of damp decay, like an old house after rain. It reminded John of home, more specifically, the house's air conditioner, but hey, it was all he had. When they arrived, the group was met with a regal setting, no doubt the royal throne room itself. A tall white horse approached them. John bolted up to his feet. "Celestia." John snarled, glaring at the Princess. "John." Celestia acknowledged, dismissing the human's blatant anger. "What?" John demanded of the monarch, fists curling. "That's no way to speak to a princess." Celestia scolded, and Luna's face seemed to show anger at John's tone. "You have only the authority I give you." John stated through gritted teeth. "Really?" Celestia mocked as she blanketed him in a greenish-yellow aura. Or, tried to, at least, the spell immediately broke on contact with John. "Maybe you should try something else." John sneered as he checked his watch, checking the math of a problem he just remembered. This time, it was Luna who attempted the spell, a dark aura attempted at him, but retreated as the elder sister's did. Then a purple-wight light appeared in front of him. It faded, leaving a blue and black box in front of John. Along with it came a screen, keyboard, and wires; it softly whirred. "Sasha!" John boomed in his mock Russian accent, causing the royals to take a step back. "What is that?" Luna asked, seemingly fearful. "Is Sasha, my computer." John explained, maintaining the accent. "I-i think I read a book about those." Luna quavered, backing up. "Luna, don't be afraid, is just friend." John coaxed, not noticing the white ruler behind him, gearing up for her finishing move. "I, Princess Celestia, hereby banish thee to the moon!" Celestia bellowed, as a white beam shot towards John. It reflected off of an invisible wall, encompassing the boy, his dog, who had no idea what was going on, and his computer. It struck the monarch, sending her about ten meters up. She landed with a thud. John chuckled, and helped the alicorn up. "See? Only the power I give you." "How?" Celestia asked. "I don't know if you have a thing called logic here, but it tends to not like magic." John hoped that Celestia bought it, truth is, John had no idea what was going on. He helped Celestia to her feet. "So I ask again, what's the problem?" John requested. "We don't know. The outer rim of towns have succumbed to attacks of unknown origin and type." Luna stated, still wary of the boy. "Alright. I can possibly help, for a price. I will need a lab of my own, preferably in the castle, and a way to requisition materiel." John sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "The force might be using the amulet of Tanzen." Luna continued. John giggled at this, thinking of German 1. His teacher always had a dance that went with it. To this day, it was burned into his memory. "The amulet of Tanzen is no laughing matter, it allows the user to corrupt any soul beyond repair." Celestia scolded. John cast her a gaze that would've made salting and burning all the farmland in Equestria seem like a tea party. "As my sister was saying, the Tanzen amulet can corrupt souls, but, it won't corrupt souls that it deems corrupted." Luna explained. "That's where I come in, I go find the amulet, destroy said amulet, allowing the enemy to be defeated." John deduced. "Typical." "How did you know?" Both the sisters asked, shocked. "Like I said, it's typical." John stated. "O-kay." Celestia muttered, looking worried. "Alright, before I set off, I'll need to upgrade all the tech involved." John declared, booting up Sasha. "Alright, how?" Luna decided to play along. "Give me a week with the best of your scientists." John told the pair. He walked into the throne room once again, picked up Sasha, and demanded to be returned to Ponyville. He was immediately teleported back. He stretched and walked off towards the library. It had sort of become his home. Well, house, it's not a home yet. He soon arrived at the familiar door, and thought before knocking. Okay, how am I going to do this. Upgrade tech first. Next, create a doomsday device. Wait, strike that, make means of transport. Thirdly, well, that's best not discussed, even in my own head. John's mind simulated the events that could unfold, most of them were positive. They are only ponies. Let's open the door. And so John did. He was greeted by four faces, again missing Applejack and RD. "Are those two off snogging again?" John asked, chuckling a bit as he did. All nodded in affirmation. "Ha! Alright then, let's get down to business. Celestia has assigned us to a very dangerous mission." John explained, and was met with sarcastic looks of 'you don't say?'. "Oh, I guess you must've been informed... Anyway, I'll be gone for about a week, trying to give some semblance of technology. Also, Rarity, I need to ask you something, come along." John motioned for Rarity to follow him to the far end of the library. Which she did, if hesitantly. John booted up Sasha and showed Rarity of a deep blue, well, near- black, high-collar navy coat. He figured it would protect him from the middle of his calves to his cheekbones from any cold. "Could you please make this?" He asked the fashionista. "Yes, I suppose so, but there is one thing." Rarity spoke. "What's wrong?" John asked, concerned. "I made something like these for some ponies once. They were dreadful, smelled of alcohol, criticized my owning of the Boutique, and kept calling me 'Comrade'." Rarity elaborated. John smiled. "I'm not like that... Comrade." John joked. "That's not funny!" Rarity whin- complained. "I kid, I kid." John reassured. "But, as I was saying, I can make these. Should cost you... well, consider it a gift." Rarity continued. "Great, but there's a couple things that I have to ask yet." John stated. "First, can you make some pants out of the same sort of material, as well as a captain's hat?" John asked, showing her a picture depicting anthropomorphic ponies in a submarine, wearing such clothes. "Wait is that Fluttershy? And Rainbow Dash? And Twilight?" Rarity asked, shock on her face. "Yes, but the clothing, can you make it?" John responded. "Of course." Rarity said. "Thanks." John replied, walking over to Twilight. "Hey Twilight, would you like to come along to Canterlot. Help me test some of the things?" John asked, then thought for a microsecond, and addressed the whole room. "On second thought, how about you all come along?" John queried, and a round of 'Yes!' could be heard. Perfect.
1: "The Button of DOO- I Mean, Rainbows and Lollipops"Biography of a Transdimensional Brony It was a normal day for John, same small dog, same old house, same parents, same freakishly annoying sister. He reflected over this, and smiled. He liked ruts, they meant that everything was in order. Ruts are good. But like so many ruts he had once been accustomed to, this one was soon to be destroyed. "Oi! John!" John's overly British stepfather, James, bellowed up the stairs. "What?" John called back, keeping his computer on standby, hoping that he would be back soon. "Get down here!" James yelled in response. "Okay..." John sighed. It was Saturday, the ONLY day he got to be free, what with church on Sunday and marching band on Friday. You see, John was always busy on the weekends, but had ridiculous amounts of time during the week. "What?" John asked James. "We're going to clean." James replied, and then delegated jobs to John, as his sister was at school, and his mom at some meeting. John did as he was told, and as he was cleaning behind the couch, he saw a shiny red button that had 'Don't panic' written across it in large, white letters. It couldn't have been in the house very long, as it wasn't torn up yet. "Hey Jame! Get up 'ere!" John yelled to his step-dad, who was cleaning the basement. A large thudding sound came up the stairs, signaling James' arrival. "What happened?" James asked, out of breath. "Look what I found." John said, triumphantly raising up the button. "A button. You made me almost have a heart attack for a button." James said, running his fingers through his near-nonexistent hair. "Yes." Replied John, sheepishly. "It's probably something your mom brought home from the thrift store." James responded. "But, it just feels different, like it's magical." John answered, hands cupping it. "Here, I'll press it when your mom gets home, but you have to clean first." James said, taking the button, and putting it on the island. The day after that was uneventful. It was cleaning, but he got to play his computer in the down time between cleaning and his mom arriving. Then his sister burst through his door. "I'm home!" She yelled. "You know, that's why my door can be opened just by pushing on it, no need to turn the handle." John reflected. He had once nailed his door to it's frame, just to keep his sister from barging in on him like she just did. "Get down here!" James yelled up the stairs, John then put his headphones on his desk, leaving his computer on. It took bloody ages to get internet, he once spent twenty minutes attempting to log on. John walked down the stairway. "Hey John." John's mother, Renee, said amiably, hugging her son. "How was your day?" She asked, releasing the boy. John stepped back slightly, smiling. "You know, we cleaned." "I saw." Renee observed. "Also, I found that." John said, gesturing to the button. "Did you get that, per chance?" "I-I don't remember getting that." John's mom answered, with a look like she was racking her mind. "Told you." John retorted to James. "Alright, alright." James responded, looking defeated. "Press it then." John suggested, striking a Vana White-esque pose. "I promised him I would." James explained to Renee, as he began to press the red hemisphere. Nothing happened, then a loud crack and a rainbow portal appeared in the wall, big enough for a small bus. "Well, that just happened." James declared, eyes wide. "Who- wher- wha...?" James stammered. "Where does it lead?" Renee asked, dumbfounded. "I have no idea." John answered. "I'll go get Holiday." James stammered, backing up, towards the stairwell that led upstairs. "I vill get Sasha." John slipped into a Russian accent and followed James. John burst into his room and turned his computer off, unplugged it and his monitor. He then dug a solar generator out of his closet, along with some large batteries. "Thank goodness for Radio Shack." John muttered as he assembled his electronics and a backpack full of school items. "If I get bored, I'll have a math textbook." John chuckled at how absurd that sounded for most kids to say. You see, John actually liked to learn,to him, it opened whole new worlds. "I'll need this." John said, stuffing a survival book into his backpack. Then he went down the steps, before running back up and grabbing some paper, a pencil, a sharpener, and a clipboard. "Never hurt." John explained to himself before packing one last time and heading down to the kitchen. "Alright, let's go." Instructed James. "I'll go first." And go he did, right into the portal, along with a cooler. "Holiday, follow me." Renee was holding Holiday's hand, while both donned backpacks, no doubt filled with nonessentials. They followed James through the portal. "Am I the only one..." John muttered to himself, striking a pose like the infamous meme, before grabbing the button and heading through, his dog following right behind. There was complete darkness except for a small bubble of dim light around the boy and his dog. "Hey boy, how are you?" John asked his black mutt, expecting no response. "I'm good, where are we going?" Jack responded. "Why are you talking English!?" John exclaimed, taken aback. "I don't know, but who cares, we get to go to a new place, pee on new trees, sniff new butts..." Jack was lost in a daydream. "We'll see." John sighed as a bright white light enveloped the boy and his pooch. The pair were thrown into the clearing of a forest of some sort, the trees seemed eerily dark. The nearby bushes rustled. The boy was the first to recover due to panic. "Who's there?" John screamed, looking around. "Be thee friend or foe?" A blob of shadow asked from behind John. "I be friend." John responded. "What be thee?" "I be friend." A small equine walked out of the shadows, revealing his beige coat, horn, and a picture of a black pen writing in red ink on his flank. John remembered something that might help him. "Where's Ponyville?" He asked. "It lay on the other side of these trees." The pony stated, gesturing. "Have you seen an overweight Englishman, an annoying little girl, and one overprotective lady?" John questioned. "Yes, I walked them here." The equine reported, pulling aside a part of a bush, revealing John's family. Jack woke up and started growling at the pony. "Oh, shut up Jack." John said wearily, and Jack did so. "Oh, and what be thine name?" John questioned, going back to middle English. "I be Black Quill." The pony stated. "And you be?" "I be John." John responded. "So about that Ponyville, can we head for it?" "Yep." Black Quill answered, then motioned for the group to follow him. They traveled through the dense deciduous brush, which got thinner and more spread out with each passing step. "Not much farther, come on." Quill encouraged. Soon, the forest gave way to a meadow, on which, a town was seen. "That's Ponyville." Quill stated, gesturing again. "Thank you Black Quill, we owe you." John said, motioning for the group to follow him. "You're welcome." Quill said, fading back into the Everfree. The group soon arrived at a normal, albeit cartoonish town. The rest of the group wanted to stand and gawk, but John marched them to a tree house, and knocked on the slightly too small door. "Ye-" Was all that the lavender unicorn got out before she saw the group. "Hello, we mean you no harm, we are humans, and we would like your assistance." John explained slowly, as to not startle the mare more than she already was. "H-hi." The unicorn said shakily. She bolted inside, then motioned with a hoof for them to come with her. The group crammed themselves through the door, only to find a ridiculously big room on the other side. "Mighty fine place ya got here." John observed, putting his packing on the floor. "Where are we?" James asked, still gawking in the unicorn's direction. "If this town is called Ponyville, and, small horse, what country are we in?" John delineated. "Equestria." The mare stammered, unsure. "Aha! If that's true, then you must be Twilight Sparkle, the forest we were in was the Everfree, tell me Twilight, do you know of one Equestria High?" John deducted, in true Sherlock Holmes style. "Y-yes, I went there to get my crown back." Twilight shakily stated, looking worried. "Ah, so we're here post season three." John stated, raising a finger triumphantly. "So, Miss Sparkle, where are your wings, as you were crowned an alicorn princess at the end of the season." "I-i don't want to talk about it..." Twilight murmured, looking down. Holiday ran over to comfort her, John still thinking, as a faint sound, not unlike clockwork, could be heard. "There there Twilight..." Holiday whispered into her lavender ear. "Alright, so some convoluted plot happened to make Twilicorn temporary. Therefore, we are in an altered universe, from which we can conclude what?" John asked James and Renee, and Jack responded. "That we're in a fanfiction." Jack answered, making John give him an affectionate pat on the head. "I knew I taught you well." John remarked, going right back into detective mode. "So Twilight, where are your other five friends?" John asked. "Fluttershy's in her cottage, Rainbow's at her house, I think. Applejack is over at Sugarcube corner, planning Applebloom's party with Pinkie. Rarity is off in Canterlot, attending a fashion show or something." Twilight listed, ears perking up at the mention of her friends. "Why?" "Because, if this is a fanfiction, which it is, then some evil must be readying to assault Equestria, or already has. Get Spike in here, if you would kindly." John explained. "Spike, can you please come down?" Twilight called up the stairs. John's heart twinged as he remembered his home, the home he left, perhaps permanently. "Yeah... Wha?" Spike gawked at the gathering from a perch on the stairs. "Spike, I need you to take a letter." John stated, and he started to plug his computer in to the solar and battery array. He hooked up his monitor and such afterwards, still at blinding speed. Spike fetched paper, a quill and a ink well as John did his thing. "Spike, you'll need more paper than that." John reminded Spike. "How many letters do you want to send?" Spike asked rhetorically, fetching the extra supplies. "Address them to Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack and Fluttershy." John listed. Spike did so. "Write on each; 'Meet at Twilight's house. It is imperative that you do so quickly." Spike mumbled as he spoke, until he got to 'imperative'. "How do you spell that?" Spike asked. "I-M-P-E-R-A-T-I-V-E." John spelled out for Spike. "Thanks." Spike remarked, and returned to his task, still mumbling. "Now, if you could send it please." John requested after Spike had completed his duty. Green flame burst from the small dragon's mouth and burned the letters, the ashes carried into the distance. "Now we wait." John stated, and booted up his computer. A Windows XP logo appeared, and the infamous startup melody played through his headphones. He looked at his desktop, and saw that all his programs were still there, he breathed a sigh of relief. Then he noticed something. Something that shouldn't have worked... was working. He had internet! He effing had internet! John jumped a bit with pure excitement. "What's going on?" Renee asked. "I! HAVE! INTERNET!" John screamed. "How?" James asked, coming over to look at the screen. "The network is called 'We all sink up here', it doesn't have a password, and full signal at one hundred eighty two megabits per second." John stated. "That's odd." James remarked, surprised. "Yeah." John added, double clicking on an internet icon. A familiar home page popped up, with a very familiar favorites bar. "Alright, let's see which fanfiction we're in..." Mumbled John as he went to FIMFiction. He clicked the 'human' tag, and it was the first thing to pop up. "Seems that we're in a fanfiction entitled 'Biography of a Transdimensional Brony.' written by The12GageKid." John read. He then read into the story slightly, trying to find out what's going on. He found nothing helpful, as anything that hadn't happened wasn't there. "Great." John sighed. Everyone seemed to have gathered around him as he was reading. Twilight seemed perplexed. "What is that?" "This is a desktop computer. The thing I'm reading from is called a monitor, and the whirring thing is the computer tower." John explained. "Oh, how does it work?" Twilight asked. "It works by using electricity to interact with the hardware inside the tower and monitor." John elaborated. "What's electricity?" Twilight inquired. "Imagine tiny lightning bolts that can be controlled, to an extent." John droned. "Oh." Twilight noticed the change in tone and stopped asking questions. The monitor went black, then five words, shown in red and followed by a quill, popped up. You are not alone here. Author's Note Well, that's that. You may notice some comments were deleted. This is actually the second posting of this story. It has gone through major revisions (especially in the later chapters). As such, I felt that the comments here were no longer about the same story, and removed them.
