My Dear Shy - Rick's Lament

Five weeks after the remembrance of my dear Shy...

The once snoozing alarm clock reposed on the short white dresser left to my bed immediately awakens with an ear-wrenching siren precisely at six o'clock in the morning.  Groaning, I drowsily rise out of my thick sheets and slam a flat palm on the device to silence the infernal sound.  Half-awake, and slow like a sloth, I pull the sheets off of me and slide my legs over to the bed's end.

With a dull yawn, I mutter, "Another boring day on another boring year..."

I trudge toward the lavatory and gaze into the large mirror, where I see a reflection of my miserable self; my hair totally unkempt, some strands sticking out here and there, the perceptible wrinkles of crow's feet near my shadowy eyes and the sagging bags beneath them.

"Just another day," I repeat tiredly before reaching for the toothbrush sitting on the sink.  After brushing my teeth, I head into the shower stall and twist the knobs.  It's always nice having a warm shower.  Just feeling the lukewarm water seeping into my body is enough to make me relax - almost enough for me to forget that awful nightmare.  Almost...

Sadly, something like a shower isn't going to help me forget that.  Why...  Why would I dream of something so sadistic, so cruel, so malicious such as that; why would I ever have a single thought of intentionally harming Fluttershy?  The one being that ever loved me.

"Why, damn it?!"  In an outburst of emotional rage I smack one side of the wall.  Not many can see it, but blending in with the water from the shower, streaks of tears trickle out of my eyes.  I...  "Why..." I croak sullenly, the shower's rushing water drowning out the sobs that break out little by little.  My back against the wall, I place a hand over my eyes to mask the tears.

Sitting down, chin resting on my knees, the phone on the counter erupts into the mario theme.  I know who it is, but I can barely bring myself back up.  Hopefully he'll understand.  Wait.  No...  No, he can never understand.  No one ever will.

Ugh.  Look how pathetic I am.  I'm here in the shower sulking over what's already happened.  This heartache will never cease.  Not unless there's a way to change everything back.  But there isn't.  I'm not some superhero who can travel between dimensions.  And we don't have the kind of technology to do that, too.

The pain in my heart intensifies.  It hurts so much.  So bloody much.  Why, my dear Shy?  Why did you have to leave me here all alone?  Can't you see how distraught your father is?  Can't you see your father wallowing in despair, wishing you'd return?  Can't you see how unhappy I am without you?  But wait...  Weren't you happy with me here?  Weren't you just plain happy without friends?  That's...  That's right.  We were happy together, weren't we?  We didn't need a friend.  Or two.  Or three.  Or even a hundred.  We were happily living together by ourselves.

Yes.  I see.  It wasn't that you had to leave.  No.  I finally understand what's going on.  It's that Celestia and her student.  They were all in on it.  They couldn't stand watching a human raising a pony as a daughter.  They only pretended to feel sorry for me.  They... took you from me!  Yes.  They didn't care for me at all.  It was you, that's all they were concern for!  I could've done something - I could've just thrown them out, and none of this wouldn't have happened.  But it's already too late; I can't undo all that's been passed.

My hand droops from my face, eyes narrow and fueling with risen anger.  Tears continue to leak, nonetheless.  This world...  This reality that we call life we live in.  It's all a mere illusion.  Sometimes we fear if there truly is a hell.  But I am here to say that the world we live in is truly...

"I really am in hell..."