Jason's misadventures in ponyland

"Uh.... hi?" Jason tried, unsure of what to do.

Twilight just stared. Vinyl, finding what she was looking for, turned from the bed with a book floating next to her. The DJ stopped upon seeing the staredown between her new friend and the librarian. Unsure what the two were doing, she coughed to get Twilight's attention. Twilight continued to stare at Jason for several moments before shaking her head and noticing Vinyl.

"Oh, uh... Yes. Vinyl, I was just here to remind... Okay, what is the Terminator doing here?" Twilight asked, stamping her hoof.

Jason began to worry but was able to maintain a straight face. Better to act ignorant of the subject. See if it works itself out.

"What's a Terminator?" Vinyl scratched her head and looked from Jason to Twilight once more.

Twilight lifted a hoof and pointed at Jason. He looked at the unicorn, then back at the DJ and shrugged.

"That's Jason... he's a Skrillex." Vinyl said slowly, "I don't know where you got termasomething from, but this guy has been rockin with me all day. I met him in the forest."

Jason's eyes flared for a moment when Vinyl mentioned the forest. This wasn't going to sort itself out. Jason sighed and began working on a plan. He wondered if a shock from his trusty glove would incapacitate the unicorn for a few moments while he escaped. He flicked the switch on the glove in case he needed to find out.

"That's not what he told the Cutie Mark Crusaders. He even has the same name and was in the same place we lost him in. He has to be lying to one of us if not both." Twilight said heatedly.

The two unicorns looked at Jason. Jason suddenly found his shoes very interesting and started to stare at them.

"Are... you not really a Skrillex?" Vinyl asked, a suspicious look in her eyes.

"No... well, I... No. It's- It's my stage name. Yea, but it also sounds cooler than Terminator so I tend to use that when peop- ponies ask what I am." Jason stuttered, hoping he sounded believable.

Twilight and Vinyl looked at each other, as if discussing whether his explanation was believable. While they held their silent conversation, Jason came up with a plan. 'Oh, if this doesn't work, I'm boned.'

"Vinyl, I'm sorry for lying to you, but I just thought my stage name sounded cooler than my species name. And... I think your name was Twilight? Anyway, I apologize for running yesterday. Seeing six ponies running towards me made me panic. Can we get along like civilize beings?" Jason extended his gloved hand for a handshake, or hoofshake in this case.

Twilight took a moment to process his sudden declaration and another moment to decipher his strange gesture. She seemed content to be on friendly terms and extended her hoof for him to shake.

"Yes, I would quite enjoy-" Twilight began.

When Jason's hand connected with her hoof, Twilight immediately flinched and began quivering. Her mane stood on end and she stood stiff limbed like a statue. Taking his chance, Jason leapt to retrieve his backpack and was out the door before Vinyl could react. As he ran out the front door he called farewell to Octavia. 'Might as well. She was a very hospitable host. I would to say bye to Vinyl but she's probably in... shock.' Jason giggled at his pun while he ran from the house. Taking the route Vinyl had led him through earlier, he exited the city quickly and was on the move towards the trees. Jason didn't stop running until well after he'd reached the treeline. No way was he letting that pegasus from earlier catch him should she be on the chase. He really had no way of knowing, and he doubted she would be since Twilight had been surprised to see him at Vinyl's place, but he didn't want to be caught off guard.

Eventually Jason felt he'd gone far enough and started to slow down and take stock of his surroundings. He noted the trees seemed different than the night before but he filed that in the back of his mind for now. He needed to calm down first and carefully plan his next move. If he did something wrong, he could potentially be hunted down for attacking Twilight. Definitely not something he wanted. Maybe he should go back and play it off as a prank. His glove was in fact created for pranking. The idea seemed to be the best option, but it didn't sit well with Jason. He blamed his unease on pride and pushed it down. Logistically this was the best plan... by his logic. With his pride subdued, Jason felt the idea was best, but he would wait until tomorrow.

With a plan set, Jason began to look around for a good tree to sleep in at night. Unfortunately he found that he wasn't in the forest he'd been in earlier. The trees currently surrounding him were apple trees. He seemed to be in an orchard. Jason noted this, but wasn't sure what to think. It was a good thing in the sense that he had apples to eat, which was actually really good since he'd run out of beef jerky at breakfast, but it held a foreboding sense of danger as well. He wasn't quite sure why either. The delicious fruit felt like it was exuding an aura that would kill him if he ate one. As he thought this though, his stomach growled. Against his better judgement, Jason climbed a tree and picked an apple. Unfortunately for his sense of fear, his sense of hunger won out. Jason took a bite of the apple and immediately loved and regretted his decision. He loved it because it was absolutely the best apple he'd ever tasted. He regretted it because he suddenly felt a killing aura advancing on his position. 'Crap...' Not sure what exactly was headed this way, Jason climbed the nearest tree.

Almost the exact millisecond he got into the leaves, a furious looking orange pony with a cowboy hat appeared. The pony glared at each of the trees before walking straight up to the tree he'd picked an apple from. The pony stared at the tree top for several minutes and it's eyes misted a little. Without warning, the glare returned to the pony's face and it turned towards the tree he was hiding in. Jason's heart skipped a beat as it walked straight to the tree he was in and looked up. He swore his eyes met with the pony's, but after several moments the pony turned around. Jason gave a mental sigh of relief, but was quickly worried again as the pony's muscles bunched up. In a quick motion, the little horse lifted it's hind legs and kicked the tree hard. The limbs of the tree shook violently and Jason, unable to keep his balance, fell from the tree.

For a brief moment, Jason counted himself lucky that he hadn't landed on his head and broken his neck. The moment afterwards, he wished he had. The cowpony, which he now recognized as Applejack of the main characters, was centimeters from his face, glare still in full effect. Jason whimpered.

"Ya mind tellin' me what you were doin' stealin' mah apples?" she snorted.

Jason smiled weakly and mumbled something inaudible.

"Excuse me?!" the cowpony said threateningly.

"I-I-I'm terribly sorry. I didn't know these were privately owned trees. I didn't mean to steal from anyone." Jason trembled.

"Even if ya didn't know, it doesn't make it right." Applejack growled.

"Please forgive me. I'll- I'll make it up to you. I'll work for you." Jason pleaded.

The cowpony eyed him suspiciously, but apparently deemed him trustworthy enough to keep his word. The glare melted into a look of disappointment and she backed a couple steps away from him.

"Good. If you're good enough to right your wrongs, then ah suppose ah can forgive you. Ah do expect ya to hold up to your word though." Applejack nodded.

"Since I'm paying you back for it, can I finish that apple?"

Applejack gave him a withering look.

"Heh... Well, can I ask one more question?"

"Ah guess so."

"Do you mind if I sleep in one of the trees?"

The next morning, Jason simply woke up. No sun in his eyes, nothing bothering him, absolutely no interruptions. He rolled off the pile of hay with a grunt and stretched his limbs. Such blissful, uninterrupted sleep hadn't come to him in quite a long time. Maybe he should steal apples more often. Jason chuckled, remembering the previous night. Applejack had been really confused when he'd asked to sleep in the tree. He explained that he just sort of 'popped' into town without planning on it, and he hadn't brought money with him. His little story bought him a look of pity from the apple farmer and she offered to let him sleep in her barn. Jason gladly accepted, not fearing being recognized since she still hadn't recognized him as the thing that had run the other day. He still planned to come out and play his zapping of the purple one as a joke, but he had to work off his accidental crime first and he wanted to come out of hiding, not be discovered.

Jason was still stretching when the barn door opened and the owner of said barn entered. The mare (Jason was beginning to remember terms from his biology class. Huzzah.) looked shocked to see him awake already. Jason grunted his 'morning' as he finished stretching.

"Early riser, huh?" Applejack said while walking about the barn and gathering tools.

"It's early? I usually sleep in way late. What time is it?" Jason picked a straw of hay out of his hair.

"Ah dunno. Didn't check the clock when ah woke. Just headed out here to get ya for the mornin' chores."

Jason went to his backpack he'd thrown in the corner of the barn and started digging for his phone. He hoped it still had charge after the several hour 'sesh' he'd had with Vinyl. Jason dug through every pocket, but couldn't find it. He sat there for a moment before digging his hands in his front pockets, then his back. The device wasn't there either. Jason panicked and began digging through the hay, hoping it had fallen out while he slept.

"What in Tartarus are you doin'?"

Jason turned to see the farmer staring at him, eyebrows raised. He blinked a couple times before turning back to the hay.

"I can't find something of mine. I'm thinking it fell out of my pocket while I slept."

The mare responded, but Jason didn't hear her. He remembered what had happened the day before. Right as Twilight had entered the scene, Jason set his phone down for a moment for a swig of Timberwolf. Seeing the unicorn made him panic and forget all about his phone. He'd left the damn thing in Vinyl's room. Jason rubbed a hand down his face and tried to make the most of situation. Vinyl seemed responsible (enough) to not mess with his phone, or at least not break it, until he revealed himself. Until then, he could live without the device. Jason turned and chuckled in an attempt to alleviate the awkwardness of the scene he'd just made.

"I forgot I lent the... thing to a friend. My bad. So, what's the plan for today? Pick some apples?" Jason giggled at his own joke.

"No," she replied dryly, "Just doin some basic chores. Fixin' some things 'round the farm."

Jason nodded and the mare handed him a toolbox. The two exited the barn and Applejack led him over to a wooden fence with several leaning posts. Applejack gestured to the box he was holding then back to the fence.

"There's some nails and a hammer in there. If ya see a post that's leanin' over too far, just nail it back to the fence. I'll be over by the barn fixin' the wheels on a cart if ya need to ask me anything." Applejack nodded and walked away.

Jason opened the toolbox and grabbed the hammer and box of nails from within. He then stared at the hammer in his hands for a lengthy amount of time. He'd never actually used one before. Jason shrugged and inspected the posts on the fence. When he found a loose one, he pushed on it until it pressed against the fence lining and grabbed a nail. He set the nail where he though it should go and pulled the hammer back for the swing and... pow! He missed entirely. He didn't even hit his thumb like most people apparently did. He tried again and was able to glance the edge of the nail. Jason frowned at the pointy shard of iron. He outran (well, tricked) the 'fastest' pegasus in this mystical land and he was being trumped by a metal toothpick. Jason tried one more time, but used the side of the hammer instead of the flat end. The larger area actually connected with the nail with a resounding 'thwack' and pushed it into the wood. Jason was quite pleased with his success and continued fixing posts.

"Tsk tsk, you started so well but your actions keep getting less and less chaotic. I mean seriously, you're just holding a hammer wrong this time. That's not even slightly chaotic!"

Jason jumped. He hadn't heard anyone, or 'anypony', approach. He turned his head and the strangest thing sat on the fence, giving him a bored look. It had a long, noodle-like body, different horns, different limbs and awesome facial hair. The thing was so strange and cool looking, Jason couldn't help but to find it fascinating.

"I don't know what you are, but you're freakin' cool. You gotta... wait, what do you mean 'my actions'?" Jason scratched his head.

"My dear Jason, I mean your antics you've done since you arrived! You've lied about what you are, outsmarted Rainbow Dash and you zapped Twilight Sparkle! That music you play with your phone is positively chaotic as well!" the thing practically cheered.

"Hold up. You know my name, what I've done and you know what a phone is? What the hell are you?" Jason backed up, suddenly fearful of the thing that knew about him and objects from back home.

"No need to panic, I'm merely an observer. Things were getting dreadfully boring since I've been reformed, so I thought I'd bring something to Equestria that would stir up some fun!" the thing vanished with a pop and reappeared with a paw on Jason's shoulder, "Though I suppose I should've been more clear with my letter. You seemed so confused to be transported. I thought you understood since you packed a bag."

Jason smacked the thing's paw from his shoulder and stared at it. This thing just admitted to kidnapping him and bringing him here. For fun. Jason couldn't deny that it was somewhat fun for him as well, but he didn't like being kidnapped.

"What if I didn't want to be brought here. I had an awesome job and cool friends." Jason growled.

"Oh please, I didn't just pick you randomly. I saw you amongst the rest of your species and everything about you seemed boring. The only time you looked happy was when you were watching those cartoons, and even then you oozed boredom. I thought bringing you here would be more of a quid pro quo. I get to enjoy a little chaos, you get a change of scenery."

Jason opened his mouth to deny his claim but quickly closed it. He was right. He'd been pretty bored. It's why he'd valued sleep and anime so much. Television and dreams were things that depicted the unreal, which he quite enjoyed. Jason was irritated that he'd been taken forcefully, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to go back. This place had magic, why would he want back?! Of course, even though he didn't want to go back, he wanted to try something.

"So... if you brought me here, you could probably send me back. Or is that too difficult for you?" Jason jeered lightly.

"Oh please. Sending you back would be easy, but I'm not going to. Where's the fun in that?" the thing vanished again and popped back up on the fence, "However, I do feel a teensy bit guilty that you were so shocked. Tell ya what, I'll get anything you want from your own world so you don't feel homesick. Absolutely anyth-"

"Burger."

"Excuse me?" the creature deadpanned, "I offer you anything and you want a burger?"

"Yea, a good one from a steakhouse. I haven't eaten except a bite of an apple and a tiny bag of beef jerky. I'm starved as hell." Jason smiled, happy that he'd stumped the creature.

The strange being stared for several moments before breaking out into laughter. He was laughing so hard he actually fell off the fence and started rolling on the floor. Jason couldn't help but chuckle a bit too. He wasn't sure what was funny, but the laughter was contagious.

"Oh," the thing wheezed, wiping a tear from it's eyes, "You, my friend, are amazing. We're going to have a lot of fun, you and I. But where are my manners? I haven't even introduced myself. Name's Discord."

Discord extended a paw from his lying state as if to shake Jason's hand, but before Jason could return the gesture a juicy burger popped into existence in Discord's paw. Jason hesitated before grabbing the burger and taking a bite. It was the most delicious burger he'd ever had.

"Moh yea. Besht of fwiendz." Jason coughed with a mouthful of burger.