Jason's misadventures in ponyland

'Oww... I... feel... like... shit. At least the lights are off... And this blanket is so... the fuck? Where did I get a blanket? Where... Oh, right. Vodka at Vinyl's till I passed out. Hope I didn't do anything stupid like kiss one of them. I don't remember anything past that fourth shot. I hope that the fact that someone gave me a blanket means I didn't do something hugely embarrassing. Or maybe they tied me up with a blanket...'

I wiggled around and pushed the blanket off of myself. Quite pleased that I hadn't been tied up, I stood and immediately regretted it, putting my face in my hands and groaning at the pounding in my skull. An equally irritated sounding groan came from a few feet away. I looked around and found myself standing in Vinyl's room with a just-as-hungover Vinyl laying in bed. Vinyl rolled over and looked at me with dead eyes.

"How much of last night do you remember?" she chuckled lightly.

"I... you... how..." I tried, unable to speak coherently over my headache.

"Wow, lightweight much? I mean, even I can't do ten shots of vodka and wake up that easy, but when you saw me hungover the other day, I'd drunk so much it would've killed a normal mare. Compared to that, ten shots is nothing."

"I... did ten... shit my kidney... must be gone by now... Did-"

I was cut off but the bedroom door opening. I winced at the sound of the hinge creaking.I turned to see Octavia smirking at me, carrying a tray of drinks. She walked over to the bed and set the tray down on the bedside table, then gave me and Vinyl glasses of orange juice. I grimaced at the drink but took a sip anyway. I'd never really cared for orange juice, but it was actually helping with the hangover so I dealt with it. Also I tended to get over hangovers quickly. The fact that this one lasted for more than ten seconds kinda surprised me.

"Y'know, coffee helps with hangovers better. Something to do with hot liquid." I muttered.

"Y'know, drunk guests should be grateful we didn't do things to you after you passed out." Octavia replied sarcastically.

"Snarky. I like it. Speaking of me passing out, I don't remember anything after the fourth shot. Did I do anything... stupid?"

"Nah, you just cursed a lot and called Discord a lot of vulgar names. You also said a lot of bad things about Princess Celestia, but we can just forget that happened. Kinda got borderline treason." Vinyl giggled.

"That's fantastic. Listen, I set some biscuits on the counter. I have a concert in Canterlot later today, so I have to head to the train. Don't-"

"Ooh, can I come." I grinned at her expectantly.

"I... I play a more refined type of music than Vinyl does, Jason. I-"

"I love classical. Piano is my favorite but violin is a close second. Besides, I think I could use some distance from a select group for a bit."

"That's... kind of surprising. I suppose I could work out a backstage pass for you, but we have to leave for the station in the next five minutes." Octavia left the room.

"Awesome. Vinyl, you coming?"

"Can't. As much as I'd like to go support Tavi, I have a gig in the town over so I can't leave... Hey... do me a favor and make sure she stays safe, will ya?"

I blinked in surprise, "Uh, yea. Will do... Are... are you two...?"

Vinyl blushed and I dropped the subject. None of my business what their preferences were. I had absolutely no problems with people (or ponies) who swung that way. I told Vinyl bye and headed out of the room and down the stairs. Vinyl was waiting by the door with a large instrument case and a biscuit. She gave me the biscuit and motioned for me to follow her. It took a whole three steps out of the door before I remembered my gentlemanly manners and I offered to carry her instrument for her. She protested briefly before I pointed out that she put up with a drunk me last night and I needed to repay her somehow. She hesitated for several moments before relinquishing her instrument to me. I shoved the rest of my biscuit in my mouth and grabbed the case from her. Fortunately, the case wasn't overly heavy and I was used to carrying bulky cases from high school when I lugged around my computer tower to friends' houses so we could have lan parties. Several of my friends' parents had been rather poor, so they could afford junky computers but no internet.

After a brief minute or two, we reached the station and after some haggling, the train conductor let me on the train. I got some stares as I sat down, but fortunately I wasn't ever really bothered by stares. Octavia insisted upon storing the instrument in the luggage room by herself. I didn't question it. I could understand. I felt weird when other people handled my stuff too, but I would've felt like an ass if I didn't help her carry it after passing out in her house. After a minute she returned and sat next to me.

"Sorry..." I muttered.

"Hmm?" Octavia looked at me quizzically.

"I got drunk and passed out at your place, you paid for me to ride the train and I made you uncomfortable by carrying your instrument. I know you were. I get the same way when others handle my stuff. I just felt I had to try to be a gentleman. At least I can eventually pay you back for the ticket."

"Oh, you worry too much. It was sweet of you to carry my bass and the ticket was really cheap. Don't worry about it."

"I'm going to pay you back for it. You can't stop me."

"Please. You don't owe me anything... You're repaying me by accompanying me..."

"I... wait what? Oh... Vinyl said she couldn't come cause she had a gig. I'm guessing that's a reoccurring thing?"

Octavia nodded. I sat awkwardly for a few moments, thinking of something to say. Despite my lack of romantic experience, I actually came up with something pretty good rather quickly.

"Y'know, she really does care for you. She had me promise to make sure you're safe on this trip. I'm not sure from what, but it's the thought that counts. You two really are perfect for each other."

Octavia blushed, "We aren't- I'm not- She- ...What makes you think that?"

"You balance each other. She's spontaneous, you're orderly. She's a party-hard girl and you're sophisticated. It's perfect. Also, probably a bit of a left-handed compliment, you're awesome to have around after a night of heavy drinking."

Octavia looked down at the floor of the train car and smiled. I thought about giving her a hug or something, but she'd probably think I was crazy. At least, I thought she would until she hugged me first. It surprised me, but I recovered and hugged her back.

"Thank you."

"Hey, it's no problem. Despite my sarcastic exterior, I'm actually kind of a sensitive human. Hence my binge drinking after... incidents... It occurs to me that the Elements are gonna freak out when they can't find me. I think I'll deal with that later though. I have a concert to attend."

Octavia laughed and we started making witty banter. Without the awkward conversation that started the train ride, the ride seemed to fly by and we reached our destination rather quickly. As fate would have it, I wouldn't have to worry about the Elements wondering where I was. Or at least one of them knew where I was.

"Wait just one minute!"

Octavia and I had just stepped off the train before I heard someone shout. Naturally, when you hear someone shouting in public, you turn to see what's going on so that's exactly what I did. Then I groaned and wish I hadn't. Marching towards me was a prissy-looking, whiny, upset Element. The drama queen herself, Rarity.

"Yea, not what I need right now. Hi there. Knew I was missing one or two of you at the welcome party Pinkie threw. Can I help you?"

"The nerve! You dare to lie about Pinkie throwing you a welcome party so I wouldn't question you?! I-"

"Yea, that's great and all, but I'm not lying. You could go ask your stupid sun princess if you don't believe me. She was there. I'm not sure why you're here, but I'm here to enjoy a concert. Now if you'll excuse us..." I turned to leave but the diva stepped in front of me.

"I'll have you know I'm here for a fashion show. For some reason I doubt you're here for a concert. I heard the only concert planned for tonight has been sold out for a week. I was barely able to get a ticket and-"

"Yea, that's cool. I'm friends with the musician." I pointed to Octavia, "She's getting me backstage. If you don't mind, I don't want to keep her waiting. I also don't want to continue arguing with you Elements of Harmony or whatever, so I'll talk to you next time I talk with Twilight. I'd like to end on a positive note though, so good day, Rarity." I motioned for Octavia to lead the way and followed after her.

Rarity called after us, "But-"

"I said good day!" I returned without turning around.

It took all of my willpower to not laugh at being able to use that line effectively. Once we were out of the station, Octavia gave me a questioning look, but I just shrugged it off. The concert hall wasn't too terribly far from the station, so we got there rather quickly and negotiated with the owner about getting me a backstage pass. Fortunately, the main act of the evening gets quite a bit of pull and she was able to get it for free. The concert wasn't for a couple hours though, so Octavia left her bass in her dressing room and we left to waste time in town.

"So how often do ponies call your bass a cello?" I joke.

"Not often. They usually ask where I got a giant violin."

"You're joking, right?"

"Oh, I wish I was..." she sighed, before chuckling lightly.

"Wow. So, where we headed?" I resisted the urge to flip off a rather snooty pony who walked by with his nose in the air.

"Just to lunch. We were on the train for a while and both of us only had a biscuit for breakfast."

"...There's not a chance in hell that they have meat, isn't there."

"Never heard that phrase before, but no they don't serve meat. If you want, there's a restaurant that caters to griffins that serves meat. We could go-"

"Nope. I'm fine. I was just wondering. I'm a guest on this trip. Gotta keep the musician comfortable before her performance."

"It's not like I would-"

"Nope, and don't think about arguing. If you didn't notice during my 'chat' with Rarity, I'm a bit stubborn and I'm really good at interrupting." I grinned cheesily.

Octavia sighed, "Fine. Don't complain if you don't like the food there. I gave you a fair chance."

"Of course, madam." I bowed sarcastically.

Octavia rolled her eyes and I laughed. We got to the restaurant and were seated rather quickly. A rather snooty waiter brought us waters and took our orders. Octavia got some dish I couldn't pronounce and I settled for panini. It surprised me that it was called the same, but the section it was under was labeled Istallion which I couldn't help but laugh at. Puns tended to give me giggles. When the food got to the table we ate silently since it's bad manners to talk with you mouth full. When we finished, Octavia paid and we headed back towards the concert hall. Before we left though, I made sure to take note of how much my meal cost so I could pay her back later.

When we reached the concert hall, Octavia had to get ready so I wandered around backstage and talked with some of the stage crew. Once they got over me being something they'd never seen before, they were pretty cool. I didn't get to talk with them for long though as Octavia was called to the stage so I went to my spot behind the stage so I could listen. My spot backstage had a perfect view of the stage, and I'm sure glad it did. To say the performance was spectacular would be an understatement.

Octavia stood in the middle of the stage with her bass and bow in hoof and a spotlight shining down on her. She closed her eyes and began to play her bass which emitted the most beautiful sounds. About half way through the first song, it reminded me of when my sister would play piano to get me to fall asleep. It was graceful and full of spirit, yet slow and melodic. My eyes actually began to tear up from the music and the memories. Through a small peephole in the curtain I noticed the crowd had a pretty similar reaction, but they were a bit more dignified with theirs. Hell, I wiped my nose on my sleeve. I'm a gentleman, damn it, but not every gentleman has one hundred percent perfect manners.

Octavia went through a few more songs and was even asked for an encore. Each song was better than the last, each one caressing the hall's sense of hearing with sweeter and sweeter notes. Unfortunately all good things come to an end. Octavia finished her encore and took a bow before retreating from the stage with her bass. Considering how loud the applause was, I'm pretty sure it was probably heard back on Earth cause, damn, hooves make clapping loud.

As Octavia walked off the stage I smiled at her and applauded. If she noticed she didn't react since she wasn't quite off stage yet. She's a professional after all. Kind of surprised me though when, after getting behind the curtain, her face went from neutral to panicky.

"Jason. Come with me. Now." she whispered in a panicked voice.

Kind of shocked by her sudden... panic, I nodded and did what she asked. She quickly led me to her dressing room and locked the door behind us. She stumbled and stood awkwardly against her bass, her eyes unfocused as if she were very deep in thought.

"Octavia. Octavia! What's wrong? I can't help you if you don't explain."

"...I know but... I'm not..." she sighed, "Alright, I've no choice. In my panic I dragged you in here instead of doing it myself. You'll probably be pretty useful in this situation, but... Never speak of this to another pony, animal, plant, anything. Never. Do you promise."

I nodded, "You're acting kinda weird but I promise."

Octavia looked at me for a few more seconds before shifting her gaze to her bass. She released the hoof she had at the top of the neck and one of the strings snapped away from the others to lay limply on the floor.

"That's it? I mean, I can understand why it's upsetting, but I-"

"Shh, I want to get this done quickly. Grab the string and pull it tight. Then hold it back up to the other part of the broken string."

I stared at her warily for a few moments but I complied. I grabbed the loose string on the floor daintily between two fingers and pulled it as far as I could towards it's counterpart on the neck, then I looked at Octavia so she could give another command/. No command came though. Instead, she closed her eyes and breathed deeply several times then placed her hooves so they sheltered the small area between the tips of the broken string. Her brow furrowed in some sort of concentration, which kind of worried me. I thought she'd gone nuts. I was about to stop her and have her calm down before going about getting new strings when suddenly the tips of the string began to glow lightly. I just stared, mouth agape, as the tips reached towards each other and began to meld together. Octavia's face paled a bit, but I only noticed it for a second before a small snap sounded and the string fully melded back together. Octavia's hooves dropped and her shoulders sagged. Whatever she just did seemed to have exhausted her.

"What- You- Magic- Unicorn- ...Actually, you don't have to explain. Considering where I am in the first place, nothing should actually surprise me anymore. Y'know you could have just bought new strings though."

"I know, but this instrument was a gift from my mother. I want to preserve every part of it... Also, I may as well explain. I want you to know how... unique it is that I can do magic. Well, it's not as unique as I say, merely the knowledge of it is. My uncle, also an Earth Pony, taught me that all living creatures have magic within them. Unicorns are able to tap into more easily, but-"

"You're freaking joking, right? Tha-that has to be a joke. It's way too fictio... Oh my god... Jason, you dense... I'm in a land full of magical, talking ponies and I deny... Continue. Please. It was rude of me to interrupt. Continue with your explanation. I apologize, Octavia."

Octavia gave me a strange look before continuing, "Feels like we just swapped roles... So. All living things contain magic. However, it's kind of like a muscle. If it's not exerted, it doesn't grow. Hence why it's not well known that races other than unicorns can use magic. In fact, I estimate that there are less than thirty ponies that know about that. It one of those 'important world secrets' that are better left as that. Secrets. Unfortunately, like muscles, not everypony is meant to be so strong. I've known that repair magic for years, used it on my bass dozens of times. I even practice just to keep myself able to perform that when a piece breaks but I can't seem to get strong enough to not have that exhaust me.

I gave her a disbelieving look, "So what you're telling me is that even I could learn magic?"

"With enough practice and effort, I don't see why not. I assume magic is not common back in your dimension?"

She seemed to be waiting for a response, but I just stared at her blankly. Eventually my eyes glazed over, signifying my deep thought.

'Magic. I can learn magic. That almost makes up for- No, no it does not. I'd rather be able to visit my sister... Still, magic is pretty cool. Magic can do anything... Magic can teleport. Teleporting leads to long distance travel. Earth is a long distance... She said it's like a muscle, right? I like working out. Especially if that working out is doing insane stuff that's impossible. Oh, I wish I could rub this in Jeremy's face. He's out playing video games for a living and here I am... stuck in another dimension... Okay, no face rubbing. Still though, magic is cool. I can use this to-'

"Jason!"

Octavia kept loudly repeating my name until I answered. Eventually I heard her through my zone and tuned back into the real world.

"What?"

"Nothing, I just thought something was wrong. You wouldn't respond and your eyes... they looked empty. Don't do that again. Also, if you're thinking about learning magic, promise me a couple things. First, don't let anypony know that magic is possible for everypony. Second, don't practice it alone. Otherwise you-"

"Wait, how the hell am I not supposed to let them know anyone can do magic if I'm not supposed to do magic alone?"

"Tell them your race can do magic. Also, magic takes a lot out of you physically. If you aren't strong enough to perform the spell, you'll end up unable to move for an annoying amount of time. Believe me, it's happened to me before. Also don't use magic in quick succession. That'll drain you quickly and also leave you unable to move."

"Sounds unpleasant... You can't move right now can you?"

"Well, I am rather drained. That shouldn't have taken so much that I can't move though."

"In that case we better get going."

"What? Why? I mean, I'd like to get home and have a nice cup of tea too, but-"

"I told Vinyl I'd make sure you were safe. That means she's going to be worried if we're back late. It's already getting dark and the train ride isn't short."

"I suppose you're right. Off to the station with us then."

I agreed and (though Octavia protested) packed away Octavia's bass for her. She didn't protest though when I offered to carry it to the station for her. She either knew I wouldn't take no for an answer, or she was a lot more exhausted by the spell than she let on. Either way, we reached the station, got on the train and set on our way back to Ponyville. And of course as soon as we sat down on the train, Lady Luck decided to kick me in the nuts.

"Excuse me Mr.Terminator. I'd like a word." a lightly agitated looking Rarity called from down the aisle.

I put my face in my hand and pinched the bridge of my nose. At least if it came to it, I could just throw myself off of the train. Not sure why, but I got a bad feeling this conversation wouldn't be my favorite.