Jason's misadventures in ponyland

When Twilight entered the library, she suddenly became very confused. She could have sworn she left at least a couple lights on. For some reason, they were all off. She shrugged, guessing Spike had turned them off. Unfortunately, this was incorrect, and she quickly found out that it was so. As soon as Jason walked in the door, the lights flipped on and several ponies jumped out of hiding, all yelling 'surprise!'. Jason was not the only one surprised, though Twilight and Rainbow Dash were used to Pinkie doing this sort of thing so they were the first to recover. Luna, for the most part, only reacted by widening her eyes in shock. Jason's reaction wasn't quite as graceful. Poor Jason jumped in surprise and latched onto the thing first thing he could, which in this case was Luna. The princess of the night was unable to keep her reaction to this contained to her eyes this time. In the two seconds it took for Jason to realize what he'd done and release the princess from the panic hug, Luna's cheeks reddened and she lowered her head so her oddly mystical mane covered her eyes.  The party goers, for the most part, barely noticed the occurrence that was exchanged between the strange being and their princess as they were already diving into various party activities. Jason left Luna to blush in peace and walked over to where Twilight and Dash were talking with Pinkie Pie.

"This happen often?" Jason gestured to the crowd of partying ponies.

"Yea, she always throws a party for newcomers. Personally, I don't think you deserve one though." Dash glared at him.

"Alright, you went from being alright with us napping in the same general location to being overly hostile at all times in about ten seconds flat. What gives?"

"I was really tired, so I wasn't going to waste my nap time fighting with you until you started running suspiciously."

"I was running here to talk with Twilight!"

"You didn't say anything! You just ran!"

A nearby cough drew the attention of the arguers. Twilight smiled and raised an eyebrow.

"You two done arguing?"

"Arguing implies both sides have a chance of being right. She does not, thus this isn't an argument. So yea.

Dash glared at him and opened her mouth to say something, but decided against it. Her eyes betrayed a plotting thought in her head, but Jason ignored her and focused on Twilight. With Jason's attention, Twilight cleared her throat.

"So, as far as I can tell, there nothing known about your species. Tell me, do Terminators really originate from the moon?"

"Ooh! The new guy is from the moon?! That's so cool! That means I need to make moon-cupcakes! I'll make extra since the princess is here too." Pinkie materialized away, leaving Jason baffled.

"Seriously, what happens to physics while she's in the room? They seem to just kinda... break."

"Don't think about it too much. I did once and my mane turned into fire. It's not worth it." Twilight giggled.

"Y'know, you're awfully calm and accepting right now. You freaked out at Vinyl's house. Everyon- Everypony seems to be breaking character."

"Right before I left the library. and thus running into you, I took some relaxation meds. Considering how often I have panic attacks, I'd have an aneurysm without them."

"Literally or figuratively?" Jason raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not sure..."

"Anyway," Jason said slowly, "I'm not a Terminator, that was a little white lie. I'm a human from Earth. Not sure if that's anymore clarifying than Terminator from the moon, but it's the truth this time.

"Interesting... We have humans in lore, but supposedly they've been extinct since before Celestia defeated Discord over a thousand years ago. Whether you're from another dimension or another planet, it's interesting that you have the same name for it. According to the myths, humans were biped but I didn't think about it since you said you were a Terminator."

"Fascinating. Back it up a bit. Celestia defeated Discord over a thousand years ago? I met him earlier today..." Jason scratched his head.

"You met Discord! That's... well, he's reformed now so it's not really a bad thing."

"He's the reason I'm here, so I'm not so sure about that."

"He what?!"

"Hmm, not now. I have a feeling if I say now, I'll be repeating myself several times. I don't like repeating myself so I'll wait until more of you... you... damn it, it's Elements of Harmony right? But yea, you six. At least five of you should be together when I say so I'd only have to repeat once or twice at most."

"...fine. I'm more interested in your species at the moment. Mind if I ask a few questions?" a quill and paper levitated over to Twilight who looked eagerly at Jason.

"Sure, but in a minute. I really haven't had that much to eat or drink today. Parties mean confections and punch. Jason likey."

Jason prowled off into the crowd in search of the food table, leaving a lightly miffed though generally indifferent Twilight sitting with her writing supplies. Jason weaved through the crowd, most of whom had seen him outside Sugarcube Corner so they didn't stare, until he found a table loaded with cupcakes, treats, a punch bowl and just about everything a sweet tooth dreams of. The hungry hungry human gathered a plate of cupcakes and a glass of punch before retreating to the quietest corner he could find so he could sit in peace. Reaching a quiet and rather empty corner behind some pushed back furniture, Jason sat cross-legged and began munching on a cupcake. After the first bite, he had to wash it down with punch because it was way to sweet for him. Almost as if it had been 3D printed with pure sugar. Disappointed, Jason stood and went to place his plate in a trashcan. On his way to it though, he bumped into a pony, spilling cupcakes all over their back. As if it wasn't embarrassing enough that he'd been that clumsy, it was Fluttershy he spilled the cupcakes on, the only one of the Elements that he had no reason to dislike.

"Oh shi... I'm so sorry. I-"

"It's alright. I wasn't watching where I was going..." Fluttershy mumbled.

"Hey, no. This was my fault. Don't even try to take the blame."

"Sorry."

"No, don't..." Jason sighed, "I'm not... I... ugh, I don't see a way that you'll let me accept the blame. You're the kind one so you're, y'know, kind. Here, since you have frosting on you, let me make everyone else have frosting on them. Make everyone even."

Jason fingered his bandolier. He was already almost out of frosting grenades. He quickly pocketed one in case he needed it then grabbed the rest in his hands. Before tossing them, he looked for Twilight. Seeing her standing where he left her, he shouted over the crowd to her.

"Twilight, you like your books, right? Books don't like frosting. I suggest you do some magic-y thing so this doesn't get frosting on them."

Twilight looked at him strangely but then spotted the grenades in his hands. She quickly lowered her head and her horn glowed. At the same time, a raspberry glow surrounded all the bookshelves. Satisfied that he wouldn't be ruining anything too important now, Jason pulled the pins and released the grenades around the room. The ponies who had been at Sugarcube corner cheered upon seeing the grenades while several others stared at the strange objects until they exploded, leaving the entire room coated in frosting. Jason wiped frosting off of his face and laughed.

"There. Now that I think about it, I had no reason for that but I hope you enjoyed it."

Fluttershy laughed and nodded. Jason nodded in return and walked back into the crowd. He spotted Rainbow Dash grumbling and flapping her wings to remove the frosting from them. He waited until she noticed him before raising a hand and wiggling his fingers at her in a mock wave. She glared at him before turning towards the door and promptly starting to leave. Before she could leave though, the front door opened in a yellow glow to reveal a white pony similar in size to Luna. Upon her entrance, every pony in the room stopped and bowed, which was quite funny since they were still covered in frosting. The new pony glanced at the frosting-coated crowd and smiled. Her smile faltered slightly when she saw Jason, but she still retained a smirk.

"Don't mind me, my subjects. I'm just here to have a chat with Twilight Sparkle. You can carry on with your... party."

Despite her assurance, none of the ponies looked comfortable to continue partying in this pony's presence. The crowd shuffled awkwardly out the door, bowing briefly as they passed the white pony. Eventually the only ones left in the frosting covered room were Jason, Twilight, Fluttershy, Dash, Luna and the new white pony. An awkward silence settled over the room until Jason piped up.

"Well, that's one way to end a party. Personally, I'm used to cops showing up to stop it, not just one... I don't know what your kind is called, I just know you look like Luna."

The white pony chuckled, "We're known as Alicorns. Now, can I ask what you are?"

Jason smiled mischeviously, "I'm a Terminator from-"

"He's a human, and he's really suspicious. He keeps doing weird and violent things." Dash rolled her eyes.

"Name one thing I've done that's violent, Dashers"

"Don't call me that! And you zapped me!"

"If that's what you call violent, then damn you're naive."

Jason felt a sense of deja vu as a cough interrupted their squabble. Twilight had an anxious look on her face as she cleared her throat once more.

"So, Princess Celestia, what did you want to talk to me about?" Twilight smiled nervously

"Hmm? Oh, that. I'm sorry if I startled you Twilight, I just said that cause I knew it would clear the room. I came here cause I felt something interesting was happening and It seems I was right." Celestia looked at Jason, "Human... that sounds familiar. I was under the impression that humans died out before my sister and I defeated Discord."

"Well, unless I've been lied to by my entire society, I'm human. Sorry to disappoint but I don't think I'd like to be extinct. Also, you all keep mentioning defeating Discord, then something about reforming him. He brought me here, so what's the deal? I feel like the butt of a joke right now."

Celestia's smile vanished when he said Discord brought him. Her horn flared a brilliant yellow color and the chaotic being flashed into the room wearing a tutu. Discord's eyes bulged upon suddenly having an audience and he quickly got rid of the tutu. Fluttershy looked at him questioningly, but no one else questioned his odd choice of clothing.

"Discord, why did you bring a human here?"

"Oh, Tia. Relax. He's not one from the past, he's from another dimension. No harm done."

"And you could send him back to his home whenever you want?" Celestia continued.

"Well..."

"Well? What do you mean well? You told me you just didn't want to send me back yet. Don't tell me you can't." Jason laughed in disbelief.

"Well I haven't tried sending anything there. Theoretically I could, but I don't know if I would have enough finesse to place him directly... on his planet."

"Dude, what the hell?! Test that shit before kidnapping someone from their home! I..." Jason sank to his knees.

"What? You were fine with it earlier. You even said you wouldn't want to-" Discord started.

"I can never see my sister again, you ass! I mean, I could have you bring her here, but I'm not going to do that. She enjoys her life and I'm not going to ruin that for her. I was fine with being here on the knowledge that I could visit my sister... That's why you were so compliant earlier... It bugged me that a so-called God of Chaos would just listen to the ideas of a human, but now I see why... You felt guilty."

Discord avoided meeting Jason's eyes. Jason sighed put his head in his hands. He'd been more or less fine with the situation until now. He didn't care about his job, his friends would be fine without him, hell, he didn't even miss his parents that much. They never were that caring. But his sister... she was his best friend. Yea, she played stupid pranks on him, but only because they were so close. Now...

Jason felt something wrap around him. Jason lifted his head and saw Fluttershy giving him a hug. He resisted at first, but eventually he hugged her back. He needed comfort. After several moments Fluttershy let go of Jason and smiled sadly. Jason murmured his thanks and slowly stood. He noticed looks of pity on all of the ponies faces, including Rainbow Dash. Discord looked out the window, trying to avoid being looked at. Jason glared at him briefly before turning to Celestia.

"So... I guess if I'm going to be here, I better get some things straight in my head. I know that there's three races of ponies, then the Alicorns... Apparently you and Luna are rulers... And there's something important about all of your butt tattoos." Jason ran a hand through his hair.

"Well, that covers a big portion of what you would need to know. Our 'tattoos' are called Cutiemarks. They denote a pony's true talent. Like mine," Celestia turned slightly, " is a sun because I control the sun, raising it in the morning and lowering it in the evening.

Jason's eye twitched. Here, directly to his face, something admitted to being the thing that raises the sun in the morning. The thing that, almost no matter what, managed to snipe him in the eyes and wake him up every morning. Something loosened by the earlier distress of losing his ability to visit his sister finally snapped and Jason's eye started twitching madly for a few seconds. The ponies in the room suddenly wore alarmed looks, then curious ones once his spasm ended. Jason calmly reached in his pocket and pulled out his last frosting grenades. He held it straight towards Celestia, pulled the pin with his thumb, and dropped the frosting explosive, then promptly walked past her and exited the library. Twilight hastily put up her book protection spell again while the rooms other occupants, save for Celestia, dove for cover. Not a single one of the rooms other occupants remembered to warn the sun princess as the grenade promptly exploded in her face, covering her in frosting. Jason, by this point, was walking away from the library and heading towards Vinyl's house. He was in serious need of a drinking buddy, cause he was about to get black out drunk to alleviate the pain, just like every other depressed twenty year old.

Jason knocked on Vinyl's door and waited for an answer. Shortly after, Vinyl answered the door.

"Sup Jason?"

"Oh, nothing serious. Just found out I can never see my sister again. No biggie."

"Whoa... I'm sorry dude."

"Thanks. Want to be my drinking buddy? I'm about to get black out drunk and I don't think that's a good idea alone."

"I really don't think-"

"I'm doing it either way. Just though I'd try to play it safe."

"Fine, but we're doing it here so you don't do anything embarrassing in public."

"Deal. Is there vodka in this world?"

Vinyl sighed, "Yea. Yea there is..."

"Yea! Vinyl, pur me anuthur..." Jason slurred.

"Dude, thatsh like our tenth shot... of shtraight vodka."

"Bah, itsh alright. jusht one moore."

"Nah, you're gonna hate yourshelf in the mornin'. I'm the furthesht you can get from a lightweight and thish is getting me way washted. You already can't shtand. Tavi! Can you come here a shec!"

Vinyl stumbled and nearly dropped the bottle as she called Octavia. Octavia entered the room after a few moments and looked at the two in horror. Jason waved at her weakly from his place laying against Vinyl's bed. Vinyl just handed her the bottle of vodka.

"Tavi, take thish before we do something shtupid."

"Like drink vodka until you pass out?" Octavia set the bottle on Vinyl's bedside table and put a hoof against Vinyl's cheek.

"I think it's too late for that. I'm wavering and I don't know how he's still conscious."

"Why did you- hey! Put that down, Jason!"

Jason had pulled himself over to the other side of the bed and retrieved the bottle of vodka. By the time Octavia had noticed, he'd already taken a huge swig from the bottle. Octavia snatched the bottle from him and held onto it this time. Vinyl tried to look at Jason sternly but couldn't help but laugh at the mischievous grin he gave Octavia. Octavia shook her head walked out the room, returning shortly without the bottle of vodka. Jason groaned discontentedly at the sudden lack of vodka and tried to stand. His efforts were fruitless, though, and he found himself on the floor.

"Thish flur ish shoff..." Jason grumbled right before passing out.