Right. Where were we?

What happened? I just got the shit kicked out of me, right?

Yeah. That’s about right.

---

Lucky Shot’s POV

You know those sayings of ponies waking up suddenly and with an upwards jerk? Yeah, those. I wish I could wake up like that. It would make things a whole lot easier for me. You see, I wake up slowly and groggily, normally with a kick-ass hangover and a few extra bruises as motivation to get up. Of course, as I woke to the world of the living, everything was a swirling vortex.

“Ugh. short on caps again…” A distant voice complained. “I can’t even sell myself for the caps… they’re going to start busting in the doors…”

The voice stirred me into action and I carefully rolled onto my shaky hooves. My eyes creaked open ever so slowly and I was enshrouded in darkness. Oddly enough, one side of my vision adjusted to the low light, while the other remained an endless void. “Caps,” I murmured in a dry, raspy voice and felt my way along a wall. “It’s always the problem.” My voice was no more than a whisper as I staggered-snuck against the wall, listening for the voice again.

“Grrr…” Then came the gentle click of ammo being loaded, with the gentle fizz of magical rounds. “Any time now… Then I’ll be dead..” She grumbles under her breath in a pessimistic tone. “Miss my old team,” she said quietly, with a pang of nostalgia. “They at least had a better plan than keep breathing and hope that one day you’ll be snuffed gently.”

Now, I may not exactly be a gentlecolt, but by the sound of things, this gal is in over her head in shit, and the first thing that hit my mind was to at least try to understand what happened... Everything was a blur. Still, as I think about it, waking up a place I don’t recall falling asleep in is never a good sign either. Maybe somepony drugged me and carried me off here. Maybe I made one too many bets and found myself spending the night with an ugly-ass mare. Or perhaps, this one is my favorite by the way, I ended up dying last night and I’m reliving some crazy-ass sinner’s nightmare where I suffer the deaths of those I killed before. Pretty smart sounding from a raider, right?

All philosophy aside, my forehead grew warm as the surrounding area was illuminated with an unstable yellow-green glow.

In a flash, something hard, cold, and rather intimidating was pressed against my head. Talk about deja vu. “Oh look. You woke up. Terrific.” Tears were dried and stained on her feathered face, but she was glaring at me instead of being a sad sap. I’ve always heard of griffons being so large, intimidating and fearless... Well, the large and intimidating part is on par. However, her tears touched a pang of sympathy in my gut.

“Yeah. Quite the red carpet you’ve rolled out for me.” I said, having to look up at her; illuminated by the magic light, her face was almost yellow. Her white feathers with gray tips were so pronounced, yet looked so cold, as if cast in cooled iron. Her frosted blue eyes enforced the feeling of a chill as the cold metal barrel pressed harder against my head.

“Got that right.” She muttered. “Ought to get some nice organic red mixed in with the shit stains, huh?”

“Yeah.” I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes. However, something felt off about it. The left side of my vision remained dark and I felt as though I couldn’t even move my eye. I rubbed at it and blinked a few more times, but nothing happened. I looked back up at the griffon whom held me at gunpoint. “Hey. Is there anything in my eye?”

“Besides the metal scraps I cut out of it, there shouldn’t be that much.” She bent down a bit and looked me in the eye. Would’ve been nice to see what she was looking at, but I just couldn’t see anything.“Hm… Naw. You’re just blind.” Right before she stood back into natural resting position, I considered flipping the humming pistol she had against my head. Maybe I could’ve broken her neck, or something like that. Anyway, I didn’t do any of that because I was too shocked by what she said.

“Centaur shit.” I said bluntly, and sat on my ass, waving a hoof over my eye. Nothing. “Damn... What the hell happened to me?” I asked, mostly to myself as I rubbed my eye.

If what she said was true, I really fucked up last night. This isn’t just some corner-store robbery, no, this is grand larceny serious.

“Look, I don’t know. I found you three quarters dead in an alleyway and I had to pull a lot of shit out of that eye. Be more careful on it, would ya? It took a lot of work, and most of my vodka to make sure the rest of the eye didn’t rot out. You’re a damn lucky stallion that you didn’t die thrice over!”

“I don’t feel very lucky.” I retorted as I took a small step back to avoid an accidental discharge from the magi-laser pistol in my face.

Loan Shark... Cheater... Pain...

“Well. You’re not dead.” In the better viewing, she looked like a fucking bombshell.

As a note, I don’t sling that word around very easily. I’m just saying that you have to be pretty damn dead sexy for me to even raise my brow at you. There’s something about a woman who can put a pony down and scare the shit out of them at the same time that just makes them so damn attractive...”And I get the feeling that could change at any moment...”

Surprisingly, she flicked the pistol away with an even grip and turned to point it at the door. “Not like it matters, bub. You’re probably about to die anyway. Debt collectors are on my ass for unpaid accounts. I’m probably going to lose everything I have.”

I glanced to my right and almost laughed. The room was practically barren. The peeling stucco, cracked windows, and the fucked up vanity mirror made me question the legitimacy of her situation. I looked back at her and raised a questioning eyebrow.

“...Okay. They’re going to come and take the nothing I have.”

“Well, that’s great and all, but I think I’ll be going now.” I said, forcing the guilt back down my throat before I offered to help her. Whatever she did, she probably deserved the repo. And besides, who am I to get in the way of a legitimate business operation?

“I saved your ass, you owe me!” She suddenly growled, with her magi-pistol humming and pointed my way. “Now, ya gonna help, our am I going to use your body for a shield?”

Admittedly, I felt as though I would’ve been better off in a gutter at this point. I can handle a griffon, yeah, but when I’m unarmed and backed into a corner? Yeah, no. That’s not happening. Looks like I’ve gotta be Mister Nice-Guy.

I considered my options for a moment... “Fine,” I groaned, just thinking about the number of ways I could get out of here before she notices. Too bad all of them end up with me being a bullet sponge. Again, I looked up at her with a sigh. “May as well give me something to defend myself.”

She cocked her head to the side. “You any good with dash? I got a hit in my med kit ya can use.”

Drugs? Now she’s talking my language. “Dash and an empty gun and I can promise you’ll walk out of here alive.”

“... I can do you one better. I got five bullets.”

“Hoof ‘em over then. The smell of this place is making me sick.” I said in a natural bored tone.

“Aw, shut it.” She grumbled, but rather good naturedly, before handing me a clawful of bullets.

I caught the shells in a blanket of yellowish magic and brought one up to my good eye for inspection. “Damn, nice caliber to be carrying.” I said, looking over the .357 bullet. It made me smile, however. It brings back good memories to know how much stopping power is behind one of these motherfuckers.

“Meh. I used to carry around heavier shit back when I ran with the boys.”

“Yeah, that’s real nice. I don’t rightly give two shits.” I muttered as the shells fell into place. It’s kinda disappointing to see a single empty chamber like that, but I flicked the cylinder closed nonetheless.

“Eh. Fuck you.”

“What? I’m just being honest.” The revolver floated nearby, just above my sight lines.

“You want first pick on the loot on the bodies?” She flips her magical pistol of death in her talons, before pointing it at the door.

“And what makes you think the bastards aren’t thinking the same th-”

A loud thumping against the door brought my attention to the aged relic. Somepony was yelling and I knew the door wouldn’t hold up for long.

“Well? Go on magic lucky pony. Take your best shot or something.” She rolled her eyes.

I took a deep breath and was ready for the worst. My muscles were tense and I could feel the anxiety about to take hold. “Give me that dose of dash first.” I said in a shaky voice, as my hooves felt weak under me. “I need something to calm my nerves.”

She tossed the vial to me with a flick of her talon and the corners of her beak looked as though they were curled into a small grin. “Don’t die, Lucky.”

I was about to ask how she knew my name, but the sweet tingling feeling of pure adrenaline surged through me as I took a deep a breath on the cyan blue inhaler. The griff chick probably yelled something else, but I threw caution to the wind in my hyped up state.

As if on cue, the door smashed open, hitting the wall and leaving a dent where the doorknob was. A head, followed by a body started on it’s way through.

“Ah shut the hell up!” I yelled, throwing the door closed on the bastard with a magic push as I leisurely trotted to him. The resulted crack against his head was music to my ears. It wasn’t enough to actually hurt him, but the way he recoiled like he’d been shot was just too funny. He even dropped the machete he was holding in his teeth.

Then, my vision turned a tint of red darker. The smoking revolver was outstretched nearby and he jerked upwards and stopped moving.

The griffon had begun to return fire, pulling the trigger and letting out hot lasery death.

“Hello and goodbye.” I said as gunfire ripped the curtains off their hanging bar. I didn’t even flinch. In fact, I kicked the door open, breaking the hinges on it’s way out onto the street.

“Who the hell’s he?” Said a scrawny pegasus standing with his wings flared out. “This wasn’t part of the contract!”

“ Who cares? Just be careful with the bodies! You can get a nice price for the skins if you take them in one piece!” Another yelled.

A streak of red energy blazed over my head and there was a loud scream. Stick-peggy took a shot to his neck and squirmed on the ground.

Another smoking shot shook the revolver I held and he stopped squirming. Right back into the groove I went. Why was this so easy? Just bang and it’s done.

“Not a bad shot, lucky pony.” The griffoness grinned, then ripped the vanity mirror off of the wall. She chucked it at the firing ponies, with a nice almost dance-like movement.

It’s really something to see a pony get hit with a mirror and watch it shatter in slow-motion. Entertaining, really. I followed her movements and saw the three last standing reponies. I bolted from the cover of the doorframe and and at them. Shots were fired and I lost count how many I shot. Actually, I think I might’ve been shot once or twice.

Yet, there I stood, a .357 revolver pressed between the eyes of the last pony. His eyes were wide with unwieldy fear; his carbine had fallen just out of reach and there was no way he was getting it back. His eyes darted from his fallen rifle to me, his inevitable executioner.

“Uh uh,” I said, grinning widely as his eyes moved to his gun once more. “I know what’cha thinkin’, pal. Did he fire six shots, or only five?”

He gulped, and was sweating heavily.

“Well, to tell ya the truth...” I pulled the hammer back on the revolver. “I don’t know, and there’s only one way to find out... BUT, seeing as I’m such a nice guy, I’ll give you an option.”

“Oh, just get it over with.” I could hear the griffon behind me sigh. “Sadistic little fuck.”

“Oh fine.” I squeezed the trigger and-

Click.

“Ah shit.”

The griffon behind me burst into nigh hysterical laughter while the pony that stood before me knocked the revolver out of my grasp and tackled me to the ground.

---

Serena’s POV

I raced towards the downed pony, gun drawn in my talon. It was a limited edition model released before the end of the war, and it was really good at making things that annoyed me dead. In a flash, a single flash, I was upon the other pony, then pressed my gun right up against his head.

“Well? You feeling lucky, little pony?

He looked down at the stallion I saved the night before, then back up at me.

“Wrong answer.” I blasted his head with death and spread ashes out onto the cold floor.

I turned to look at the remains of the other ponies, then motioned at the one pony who hadn’t run off yet. “You mind scurrying back to your boss, little pony? I promise you don’t want to be around when I make a meal out of these boys.” I shot him a grin with as much of my sharp terrific beak showing as possible.

The repo pony, who had gone into this thinking they were going to kill the fuck out me, turned and ran like a scared little colt. I turned my head and looked my ash covered partner. “Yo. Lucky shooter. You gonna brush that shit off?”

He sat up and shook the remaining pony-particles off his blue coat and looked up at me. “Are we even now?” He asked with a bit of annoyance in his voice.

“Naw. I just saved your life again, pony. Besides! We haven’t even had lunch yet!” I switched the safety back on my gun and walked over to one of the dead ponies, looking through his saddle bags. “You in the mood for stew?” There was a handful of caps, some stray bullets, a lollipop...

“Yeah, sure, whatever.” He mumbled, and got up. A streak of blood ran down from his nose.

I sniffed the air. “Did you get hurt again?” Mm… A hint of blood perfected the smells of battle. I turned back to look at him.

He looked shocked as he rubbed a hoof across his nose. “What the f-- Damn. Ashes hit me on my way down.”

“So what’s your namey, Lucky pony?” I sing song. I’m trying to be annoying, honestly.

“Names are for friends.” He replied. What a dick.

“Dick.” I stated. “Seriously, whatever happened to bonding through combat?”

“It died with the world before the war.” He said spitefully and stood to his hooves.

“You’re really a bit of a downer. Are you coming down from your dash high already?” I turned to give him a dead pan glare.

“Yes, and I don’t exactly want to bond with somepony who just forced me to fight for them.” He turned around, while rubbing his eye.

“Meh. Good point. Well, I guess I gotta fight for you now.” I give out a little giggle. “Shouldn’t be too hard. Not like you got a grudge against Loan shark or something.”

He spun around and was in front of me faster than I could blink. “What’d you say?” He said hysterically..

“... You seriously got a grudge against that asshole?” I muttered, shooting him a glare.

His eyes widened in surprise. “Holy shit... Loan Shark...” He said thoughtfully. “That’s the bastard that took my eye!” He snarled.

I blinked a few times. “Soooo… You wanna kill him?” My tail flicked back and forth, swishing through the air with grace.

“That bastard’s more crooked than I am. He deserves to die!” He yelled, stamping a hoof in the dust.

“Got a plan for him to go down?” I asked. “Like… a small bale fire bomb… maybe a grenade…”

“I’m gonna trot right up into that bastard’s bar... And shoot him in the face.”

“You’re an idiot. I can see why you’re missing an eye. How about we come up with an actual plan? One that doesn’t end up with two pretty corpses?” I decided a few minutes ago that I was going to help him out. I didn’t have anything better to do, after all.

“Fine... I just want him dead.”

“Great!” I cheer. “Oh, my name’s Serena. Great name, huh?” I tossed him a few bullets I found in the saddle bags. “But seriously. You ever had good pony stew?”

His blank glare was enough of an answer. He clearly wasn’t the cannibal type.

“Aw, come on. It’s delicious!” I smile at him. Meh. Ponies are rarely that much fun.

“I’ll pass.” He said while loading up the old revolver I gave him.

“Right… I think I got some moldy carrots that might be good if you skin them or something…” I point to a loose floorboard where I stash most of the shit I haven’t sold yet.

“Yech... I think I’ll just pass on lunch for now.”

“Great. Let’s plan.”

---

Lucky Shot’s POV

Serena, that’s her name, went on and on about the different ways we could get rid of Loan Shark. Just the mentioning of his name brought back the horrid memories of the night before. I recalled every second of the drunken night, right up to the point where I thought I died.

I died...

Lucky Shot should’ve died that night... No, he DID die that night. I was lucky enough to still breathing when Serena found me. So... Who am I?

I looked up at the various pre-war posters that hung loosely on the walls around me.

CRUSH THE REBELLION!

Save the colts! Join the airforce!

Griffons do it hardcore!

Don’t be a REBEL! Join the griffon force!

I stopped and stared at the last one. The word Rebel was underlined in dark red marker.

Serena stopped doing whatever the hell she was doing to those ponies, her beak red with blood. “... That was my father’s. He found it back when he was still wandering.”

“Is that so?” I said with mild interest and looked over at her. “Did he sign off as a merc every so often to scrape by?”

“Yep. That how I got my contacts to join the Talons, for a bit.” She seemed a little bit… sad about it.

“Sorry, just thought I’d ask. I’ve always heard about griffons being some of the best damn mercenaries the wastes have ever seen. Wings, talons, the whole shabang.”

“Heh… I ran with a few of them for a while. Then they died off, so…” Again, something that shook the beautiful griffoness.

“Hey,” I stood up and trotted over to her. The crimson stains covered her beak and a few splotches of her face.

“Yeah, pony?”

“I’m no therapist, but something’s on your mind. If we’re going to work together, may as well tell me what it is.”

“Just fucking tired of being around this dump. After we kill that bitch, I’m gonna skip town. A hop a skip and a jump away, as far as I can fucking get.” She said this with confidence.

“Good luck with that. Seriously, you saved my life. Twice now.... I’m not used to saying this, but... Thanks.”

“Meh. It’s not hard when you keep almost dying to pathetic shit.”

“Yeah... Anyway. What’ve you come up with?”

“Well. I say we grab my last grenade, rig it up to explode when ever he gets it, and then mop up whatever is left. Or we could put it in a can that is full of nails…” She rambles on...

“Which would be more painful?” I ask, not trying to conceal my grin.

“Eh, probably the one with wood splinter…”

“Then that’s what we’re going to do.” I stood up, just as a strong breeze blew through the open door frame. I grinned and turned to the door. “Eye for an eye, Loan Shark. See ya soon...”

---

Under the light of the faded moonlight, I galloped through the near-empty streets with Serena in tow. The bar Loan Shark ran sat just on the outskirts of town and it looked practically empty. On the bright side, the explosion wouldn’t kill too many innocent ponies... But on the other, I don’t really give a damn and they’re in the wrong place, wrong time. So, fuck ‘em.

A few lights flickered on and off around the back and we ducked behind a dumpster that provided decent cover.

“Through the back, up the stairs, and drop the pineapple on him from above.” I repeated the shortened and edited version of Serena’s plan. It was good. Can’t lie.

Serena would be covering with laser fire, if it was even needed.

Then, the back door opened and out stepped one of Loan Shark’s boys. He had three sons. I hated just about all of them.

Shit! I thought, quickly moving back behind cover before he saw me. Loan Shark ran a tight ship and I should’ve saw this coming. The stallion flicked open a pack of cigarettes and lit one.

The fuck do I do? I thought inwardly, looking around the darkening alley. Then, an idea struck me.

“Psst. Hey man, you lookin’ for a hit?” I said, masking my voice in a hush and waved the empty Dash inhaler around the dumpster.

Dirty money looked around. Let’s just say that… He didn’t look all the right in the head. Maybe this one had been laundered a few two many times, if you catch the meaning. Seeing nobody… and it had been a while since his last hit… he walked towards the dumpster. He had a dinky looking bandanna on his head.

“I’ve got what you need, man.” I said as his hoofsteps grew louder. He turned the corner and before he could yell, I grabbed him by the throat and slammed him on the ground. His eyes met mine and I grinned.

“Remember me, fucker?” I said, putting an ungodly amount of pressure on his throat with my hooves. He sputtered, gasped and tried to get me off him, but I didn’t budge. His eyes were so wild in shock that it was a pleasure to see the life drain from them.

He struggled, but only limply, like he knew it was already over.

As his struggles died off, I patted his lifeless head. “Good kid. Must be the reason Loan Shark liked you the most out of his sons.” I laughed quietly and threw his body in the dumpster. His head hung out loosely and the bandana he was wearing slipped off onto the ground.

“I’ll be taking that,” I whispered and pulled the red and white checkered bandana up and over my face with magical assistance. I shoved the rest of him back into the dumpster and shut the lid. “Sleep tight, Dirty Money.”

I approached the door and peeked around the slightly open crack. I could see another one of Loan Shark’s sons by the bar, polishing glasses and tumblers.

And Serena, just chilling out in the bar and making small talk.

I opened the door slowly and ducked down low as I snuck towards the stairs.

“So, how long ya in town, sugar?” I heard the stallion say as I carefully stepped hoof on a stair. I couldn’t remember his name, but I know he served me my first few tumblers of booze the night before... So, he’s alright in my book.

“Eh… Just long enough for me to get my bearing. Riding through the desert with nothing to show gives you just the worst of itches…”

“Ain’t that the truth.” He said, and I quickly realized the only thing on his mind was Serena. Looks like she is good for something.

I hurried up the stairs and could hear a loud snore as I reached the top. It took me a moment to realize I was staring at the face of a sleeping stallion in a rocking chair. The pistol resting on his side gave me the suspicion that he was on guard duty for his dad. The balcony that overlooked the bar was just beyond him.

Serena was putting the moves on Loan Shark.

This gave me about twenty seconds before he got bored and moved on to another girl. I had to move fast!

The sleeping stallion stirred and my heart nearly stopped. His eyes cracked open just a sliver before I grabbed him. A knife that Serena had given me just moments before we left swished out off the sheath on my hoof. The blade plunged’ hilt-deep into his chest and I kept a tight hoof over his mouth to keep him quiet.

He stopped struggling, just like the one before him and put him back in his chair to make him appear to be asleep. I probably didn’t need to kill him, nor the last, but there’s nothing more satisfying as revenge.

I saved any one-liners I had and trotted over to the balcony. The bar was just as empty as it looked on the outside, spare for the last of the triplets, Serena and the fat bastard himself. The grenade I was given was raised and I couldn’t help myself but smile. Revenge is such a sweet thing and I was about to get it.

I was about to pull the pin as Serena got up from her stool at the bar.

“But I’m sure you’ve scratched lots of itches…” She leers.

“Don’t you know it,” Loan Shark said in his version of a flirty voice. Just hearing it made me want to drop the grenade on him even more, but I couldn’t. Not with Serena down there. “Why don’t you stay awhile? I could use an attractive young griffoness like yourself around here to really liven up the place.”

She cocks her head to the side and thinks it over. “Hm… Depends… Do I get a room?” She looks around, then up at the balcony for just a second, winking.

“Sure! I’ve got a room upstairs by the balcony with a great view of the town. Come on, I’ll show it to you.” He starts getting up just as his son by the bar slides him a glass of scotch. “Thank you, Tap Out.” He notes to his son and motions Serena to follow him.

“Hmm…” She thinks it over. “How about you wait a moment and let me use the ladies room?” She smiles at him, flicking her tail in probably the sexiest way a tail has ever been flicked. Like, seriously. I probably would’ve kept staring at her ass from up here if I hadn’t been reminded by the clustered rage I held within me.

“An eye for an eye, Loan Shark.” I whispered and pulled the pin on the grenade.“ I dropped it and took a few steps back.

“Ow, what the--?” The grenade had dropped and hit Loan Shark on the head. The sound of it hitting the floorboards was sweeter than I expected. “Oh fuck! Grenade!” He yelled quickly and I could hear him trying to get away from his inevitable death.

Seconds passed by and I trotted back to Money Shot. Yeah, that was his name. I shoved him out of his chair and sat down. His lifeless body tumbled down the stairs almost comically.

Then Serena screamed.

Shit.

Author's Note

Tony: Yo 7-4! Got anything to say to the readers?

7-4: Nope.