Apple Milk

Business at Sweet Apple Acres was booming, particularly because the farm was able to satiate so many more ponies than usual, which is a pleasant change of pace considering it is run by an ancient pony who defies death every time he comes ringing at the door, making him turn right around and wave to the upcoming Sombran Witnesses.

“One cup coming right up!” Said Granny Smith to the next pony in line. And with that she glanced over to see Applejack, one of the most dependable ponies in Ponyville, already at work knocking down the apples from one tree with a well delivered kick. But just as she was gathering the fallen fruits, a streak of red swung by and then disappeared, followed by a gust of wind that knocked Applejack clear off of her hooves. And just seconds later a fully filled tankard of fresh apple cider was set right in front of the customer. Talk about service!

Applejack, straightening her head and getting back on her hooves, hollered at the being responsible, a towering horse by the name of “Big Mac! Now darn it, that’s the fifth time this morning that’s happened! The least you could say is ‘pardon!’” Big Mac, however, was already zipping around from tree to tree like the nimblest of lumberjacks knocking down apples and delivering them to whatever containers he could find before they even hit the ground. While Big Mac was by no means a slouch or in any way lumbering, this demonstration of such astounding action was greatly different than usual. This, coincidentally, also entertained the line who watched a large red horse practically flying around tree tops and processing apples into cider.

Of course, these daring feats beyond replication of many naturally attracted one of the best fliers in all of Equestria, unfortunately she was caught up in other affairs so Rainbow Dash appeared instead. From her view, those in the line appeared little different than sprinkles on an obsessive compulsive individual’s ice cream cone, and Bic mac appeared to be the cherry syrup that said individual would pour over their ice cream to ruin it. Curious, she landed next to the familiar face, torso, and legs of Applejack with all the grace of an inebriated seagull.

“Wow, Applejack, your brother is totally nuts. What’s going on?”

“I don’t rightfully know. He just woke up like this and has pretty much been bucking the apples, smashing them, and filling cup after cup all morning long without rest. I tell you, I think I saw him go through a hundred trees in five minutes, and at this rate we’ll run out of apples sooner than we run out of customers.”

“Well, does this have anything to do with that apple milk your sister’s selling?”

“I don’t think that’s what it is. I mean, I had some this morning and I think I tasted it somewhere before. It must’ve came from one of the cows, though I think she must’ve mixed it with turpentine or something because it tastes awful strange.”

“Uh huh. So are you thinking about taking him to a doctor to get him checked out?”

“Well now why? I mean, I don’t see anything wrong with him, do you?”

“Alright. Well then I’ll have to get to the bottom of this!”

“Two problems: One, remember the last mystery that somepony looked into on this farm? We had to lose one of our best guard-chickens because of it, and I don’t think that child will ever recover. Second, I’m pretty sure you just want whatever’s making Bic Mac so energetic for yourself.”

“Oh come on, I don’t need any magic formula to make me a better flier. But if it just so happens to exist, I may as well see if it works for anypony else.”

“Just don’t go mucking this up, alright?”

“Oh please, wouldn’t ever do such a thing!” And with that Dash was off, soaring high into the sky and performing several acts of extravagance, and then landing right in front of the Apple Milk stand. “One please!”

Applebloom served the rainbow pegasus the viscous beverage who immediately finished it off in one gulp, as seems to come naturally. Her face contorted and her stomach seemed to be attacking her from the inside. Though she was a pony of hardened fortitude, this drink seemed to nearly knock her aside. However, the discomfort subsided, and when it had she piped up. “Is this Diet Coke?”

“No ma’m! It’s a secret recipe!”

Unsatisfied, Rainbow Dash looked into the face of the young pony, but could find no sign that she was lying. Disappointed, she assumed that she would have to continue her search at another time, and with that she took off.

Thoughts raced through her mind as she flew, trying desperately to piece together any clues as to the origin of the gooey drink. It tasted vile, then again many things taste as bad. It was thick, but that could be chalked up to it’s ingredients. Then it was white, and a lot of things on the farm were white, including the paint on the sign. The paint on the sign was white and so was the Apple Milk. The sign looked like the paint was applied rather generously, and there was no indication that the paint ran out at any point. And Applejack and her family probably kept a few buckets of paint left over just in case.

The more Dash thought, the more the connection became clear. The mere thought of what it was shook her to the core, and she tried with all her might to contain herself but it was all to no success, and in mid-flight over Ponyville she unleashed a torrent of vomit which formed into a cohesive sphere as it fell. There was nothing she could do, so she sped off and kept low in order to avoid any witnesses.

Though the sun beat hard, and she could sure use a drink, young Scootaloo continued with her mission of washing every window in Ponyville. It all started with the simple concept that just about any pony could wash their own window, but so few manage to do it well, and with this thought she knew that she could perhaps finally find her own cutie mark. Sure, window washing wasn’t much of a very glamorous job, but it would help to finally form some closure as to what lies ahead for the young pegasus. And with one last swipe of her rag, young Scootaloo finally finished her goal leaving every window in Ponyville spotless.

What machinations of imagination and magic that existed in the world had begun to set forth in motion the foundation for which shall lay forth the destiny of this young pony. She looked behind, at her own rear quarters, and saw on her flank what appeared to be a spot of light arising, and her astonishment at this was shown by how her mouth was agape. The light appeared to be marking out the symbol that shall finally announce to the world this pony’s destiny and abilities, and let all know that she had left behind the vestiges of childhood and would go on from this day forth as a mare.

At least, so she thought. For as this majestic moment was in progress, a shadow eclipsed the sun over this small pony. She looked up, and what joy she was experienced swiftly turned to terror. What her eyes beheld was a comet of the partly digested meals and cereal box toy hurtling straight towards her, and she hadn’t the time to react before it finally crashed.

She was stunned, and half of her face felt cool, yet coated in slime. Her mind was unable to comprehend what had happened, so she returned her gaze back to what she had recently accomplished. However, she was soon dismayed as the entire window was not only splattered with grime but also shattered from the impact of fluids at high velocity. She swallowed her pride, however she soon spat it back out after realizing pride wasn’t the only thing in her mouth. Reality began to set in, and she knew what just happened. She lost her chance at a cutie mark!