Champions of Mareth 2: Mare Harder

I wake up some time later, presumably; it could be earlier, I'm just assuming it's later, since that's norm for how time usually works. Also, if it were earlier, I wouldn't be quite so injured.

My arm stings like crazy, and my muscles are bruised to the point that I can't even sit up. So I don't, and take another nap instead.

When I wake up again, the sky is starting to get dark, lending further evidence to the likelihood that it is indeed later. I can sit up now though, the boat rocking unsteadily as I do so.

I look around, trying to make out the shore, but with the low light plus the earlier spinning, I have no idea which way I came from, or which way is the quickest to land. I think about rowing in a random direction, but my arm hurts really bad just from taking hold of the oar.

I really don't wanna leave the boat out here, but I also don't want to spend the night out in the middle of a shark-people infested lake. I can think of only one possible course of action.

Fast travel, and hope the boat comes with me.

I close my eyes, and grip tightly to the edges of the craft. Picturing the dock in my mind, I feel a rush of wind, and... not much else. I can still feel the same planks under my butt and wood in my hand. My eyelids flutter back open, and I'm at the dock, with boat in tow. It worked!

Relieved that the boat owner won't have to be mad at me now, I re-tie the ship to the dock, then hop back to shore, before slowly hobbling home.

Once I remember halfway along that I can warp back to camp, it's a pretty quick journey, but even so, it's properly night-time before I arrive.

Still holding my bloodied arm and wincing, I crawl into the tent, and flump down onto the bedroll, exhausted. I fall asleep pretty quickly.

When I wake up, I'm full of energy once more, bursting out of my tent to greet the new day!

"Wowee!" I exclaim, doing a few flexes as I examine my arm. There's no trace of yesterday's injury, and my shirt has even cleaned itself and sewed itself back up. Video games are awesome!

Now, before I set back off on my adventure, there's something I need to do. Someone that I need to have a talk with.

"Penis! I know you're there, so listen up!" I bellow at my crotch. "Wanting to have sex with things is fine, but you can't let it take control!"

Tee hee. 'Control' always sounds like 'cunt roll' to me, so 'take control' makes me think of someone stealing toilet paper.

Whoa, someone say cunt? My penis immediately perks up.

"No, dammit," I sigh. "This is the whole problem! You don't pay enough attention to things which aren't sex, so you make me distracted, which makes me get my butt kicked."

Ooh, butts too?

"You know what? Screw you!"

Yes please.

"You're out of control." So you'd better go to the store to buy some more. "If you can't keep it together, then we can't stay on this adventure. You're grounded from video games until you straighten up- er, until you sort yourself out."

Awww, but mom...

"No buts! And no butts either. C'mon, we're leaving."

Just as I'm about to pull up the menu, I get pinged. Along with the chime, the standard NGear message pops up in the top corner.

The real world is calling! Someone wants to talk to you.

Ooh, I wonder who that could be? Whoever it is has pretty good timing. Imagine if I'd woken up before they pressed the button, that'd have freaked them out!

Well, no harm in doing it now. I bring up the menu, and hit Save & Exit.

The world of Mareth disappears, leaving me staring up into the eyes of a dark-skinned woman. I go to take my helmet off, but find my hands don't want to move.

"Who are you?" the woman asks, sounding almost-but-not-quite angry.

"I'm Pinkie Pie!" I cheerfully answer. "And who are you?"

The woman breathes a sigh of relief. "Phew! Don't scare me like that, Pinkie. You snuck into my room and turned into a guy, I didn't know what to expect."

I glance around, trying to remember where I am, although the visor on the headset doesn't leave me with the clearest field of vision.

"Oh, Rainbow!"

She chuckles. "Yeah, it's me. I'm guessing I don't really need to explain why I look like this, given your state. Although, good job on staying human-looking."

I giggle. "Well, most of me."

Who's this? Can we bang her?

No penis, this is the real world. In the real world, if you have careless sex, you'll regret it. Berry Punch told me so.

Can we bang her... carefully?

You're not helping yourself get ungrounded.

"So how come you're here, anyway?" Rainbow asks.

"Oh, well I- hang on." I need to investigate what's wrong with my hands. They seem to be stuck together, making me lift both arms up to examine the problem.

"Oh, right!" Rainbow quickly leans down, and busies herself around my wrists and ankles. After about a minute, she sits back up, holding a couple lengths of rope. "Sorry, I didn't know you were you, so I didn't really wanna be too trusting with a random guy in my room."

"Oh, that's okay," I reassure her, as I finally get to lift the NGear off of my head, and sit up. "I did kinda sneak in, after all."

"I'm actually lucky it was just you," Rainbow admits, flumping down to sit on the edge of her bed. "I left my door unlocked, got too cocky 'cos I live in a cloud. If someone else had come by, I could've been in real trouble." She turns to look at me once again. "But yeah, how come you're here, playing... that?"

"Well..." I take a deep breath. "I was playing my new game Space Dog that I bought for the NGear, but I ended up playing it way longer than I meant to, so to make sure no-one thought I was dead I went outside to play with you guys, but your house wasn't where it usually is, so I thought you must have died or drifted away, so I went to Twilight's house, but then you were above Twilight's house, so I climbed up the rope, and I saw you playing on your NGear. So I thought, if I leave you be, then everyone might think you're dead, since you can't spend that long away from your friends and still survive, unless of course you're Twilight but I mean she didn't even know what friends were, now that she does know she probably wouldn't live very long without any social company either. So anyway, I wanted to join in what you were doing so you wouldn't feel lonely, so I installed the same game you were playing, 'cos I thought it might have a multi-player mode, shame that it doesn't actually, that could be cool. But yeah, I hit random buttons on the character creation, and ended up turning into a guy. Being a guy is fun, but my penis is very unreliable."

I resent that. I'm perfectly reliable in times that matter! Like when we're having sex! And literally nothing else. Why do you even do other things?

Rainbow blinked a few times, until she seemed to realise I was done. "Oh. Uh, cool. That's... fair enough then, I guess. So, uh... how's your game going?"

"It's super fun!" I wave my arms to display the amount of super it is. "I met a cute mouse girl, she's cute. The trees can't be trusted though, one of them tried to beat me up."

"Oh, yeah, I've uh..." Rainbow flushed, glancing away. "I've met those. The plants, that is, not the mouse-girl."

"I also met some girls that look like you, but they were way shorter. I think I had sex with them, though I don't really remember."

"Oh, the goblins..." Rainbow paused. "Hold on, really? You didn't feel weirded out? I mean, even though you're a guy now, you're still a girl inside..."

"What does that have to do with anything?" I ask, tilting my head in confusion.

"Uhh..." Rainbow sighs, and shrugs. "Nothing, I guess." She chuckles. "Man, you're pretty casual about talking about your sex life now, huh? Is that a guy thing, or were you this open with your escapades before, too?"

"Well, I haven't..."

No, you haven't.

"Yeah, I haven't had any es-ca-wubbles before playing this game, so I never had anything to talk about. No-one asked me to keep it a secret though... You don't think they'll mind that I told you, do you?"

Rainbow gave me a confused look, but shrugged it off. "Well, it's not usually something people talk about. But the ones you did it with are just NPCs, so if you don't mind then there's no big deal. At least, not for me. People like Flutters or Rarity though, you might wanna keep it more on the down-low around them, okay?"

I nod. "So, do you wanna see my penis then?"

"What?" She recoils.

Oh, hello!

"No no, not like that!" I quickly wave my hands in the 'no' pattern. "I just mean, it got a really weird transformation, so I thought you might wanna check it out."

"Hmmm..." Rainbow strokes her chin. "This better not be a set-up for a 'I showed you mine, you show me yours' kinda thing."

"Whoa, you've got one too?" Her trousers certainly don't show it.

"What?" She looks genuinely confused for a second. "No, I mean don't go expecting me to flash you my tits or anything." She chuckles. "You're a guy now though, so I suppose telling you that is futile."

I shrug. "Okay, but I already saw them earlier anyway. You were topless when I came in, after all. They felt squishy."

She quickly folds her arms around her chest, frowning at me. "You groped me? ...You know what, yeah, show me your dick. You owe me that much now."

"Okie dokie lokie," I enthuse, trying to defuse the bad mood I seem to have accidentally caused in Rainbow. Standing up, I reach under my frilly pink skirt, and pull down my panties.

It's only now that I realise just how cramped my dick had been inside of those. I'm probably going to need to buy some new underwear at some point, unless I want to suffocate him. Anyway, with those out of the way, I push down my skirt along with them, letting Mr Johnson stand free out in the open.

I appreciate getting a name at all, but I'd prefer something more like 'Hardrod McThundercunting' myself.

"Wow. That looks... weird," Rainbow states, as she stares straight at Hardrod Johnson "Does it not hurt?"

"Nope!" I reply, then grit my teeth as the traumatic memories from the boat come flooding back in. "Not so long as I don't get kicked in him, anyway."

"I see..." Rainbow says thoughtfully, her eyes locked on Mr McThundercunting. I notice her body shiver as her cheeks blush red.

Weird... that's kinda like the reactions Amily had before we...

C'mon, she wants the D! Let's just give it to her!

"Oh!" A surprised voice comes from the doorway. Our heads spin round to see Twilight standing there, hand over her mouth, wings erect, eyes wide. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to interrupt!" She turns, and starts to quickly walk away.

Rainbow quickly stands up and chases after her. "Ah, Twilight, wait! It's not what it looks like!"

I follow after her, cock bobbing as I jog. "Yeah! I know we look like strangers, but it's really just us, Rainbow and Pinkie!"

"Pinkie?" Twilight stops at the top of the stairs, turning to stare wide-eyed at me. "So, you played the game too. It can even change gender? That's incredibly high-level magic!"

"Yep!" I nod, gesturing to my cock. "It's suuuuuper fun being a guy!"

Can we please fuck this one? I love nerdy chicks!

How do you know? Twilight's the first one you've met.

And I love her, and she is a nerd. Therefore, I love all nerds!

"But that makes no sense!" Twilight exclaims, suddenly right up close to me. "It's just a machine, it shouldn't have that much power!"

She frowns, then spins around. "Rainbow, lend me that game. I need to study it!"

Before Rainbow can even nod, Twilight runs into Rainbow's room, grabs a thingy, and poofs away.