Author's Note

Ah, here it is. This chapter.

This is the point, when I first wrote this, that I decided I was going to push the story in a new direction. That was probably my biggest mistake.

I did learn a lesson from it, though. Never try to force a sudden change that doesn't make sense. Don't make major changes now with the plan to find a way to explain it later in the story.

Chapter 5: Human For Hire

The walk to the farm was boring compared to the chaos I had been experiencing so far. The other ponies seemed to have no problem with me at all when I was walking around with Twilight.

I decided to ask her about it. "Twarkle, why do all the other ponies seem to not care about me? Just yesterday they took one look at me and panicked. Now that you and I are walking together they don't react in the slightest."

She chuckled slightly. "Well, I am the resident princess and bearer of the Element of Magic so crazy stuff tends to happen around me. When they see that you are with me, they know that it's just more of the usual weirdness that comes with my position."

"Element of Magic? What is that?" It sounded oddly familiar, more so than anything else in this strange world did.

"The Element of Magic is one of the Elements of Harmony, a magical force that helps protect the world. There are six of us in all. We are Honesty, Generosity, Kindness, Loyalty, Laughter, and Magic."

That sounds so familiar, but something sounds wrong about it as well. This is so annoying! "Just those six? There aren't any others?"

She shook her head at me with a small frown. "Just six. Why do you ask?"

"Just curious," I said, suddenly feeling an odd desire to change the topic. "So who is this Appleback that owns the farm?"

"That would be Applejack. She is the Element of Honesty."

"Oh." What is with this weird apprehension I feel about meeting her? I was getting along with the Element of Magic just fine.

We trudged on in silence to the farm. When we finally arrived, I felt more confident again. All I have to do is work out some way to pay off the damages and do my part to make sure I don't have any ponies who want to kill me. Easy enough.

When we saw her some distance away, Twilight called out, "Hey Applejack!" and trotted ahead. I caught up just as Twilight was finishing her explanation of my situation.

"...so he wants to help out to make up for it."

I had to force myself not to reel backwards at the cold glare that was given to me by the farm pony.

"You burnt down my barn."

"Yeah." I mentally slapped myself. Smooth comeback, dumbass. Real smooth.

Twilight nervously backed up a bit as the silent staring wore on. I decided to break the silence on a good note, rather than wait for a bad one to arise.

I stuck out my hand. "Hello Applesauce, it's nice to meet you. My name is-" Well, crap. I don't even know my name. "Well anyway, I figured that I may as well try to right my wrongs while I'm here since I don't know how long I will be around." -And I really don't want to piss you off.

Silence reigned. The sun's warmth must be the only reason I have not frozen solid from this mare's cold glare.

Applejack reluctantly shook my hand after a few moments. "Ah'm Applejack."

I put on my best smile. "Nice to meet you. When can I get started?"

"Never."

My smile broke off my face. "Um... What?"

Applejack's glare never wavered. "You heard me. Get off my farm and don't come back."

Twilight seemed shocked at her friend's behavior. "Applejack! He's just trying to fix his mistakes! What got into you?"

"Nothing, Ah just don't need help from a monster."

I fought to keep a calm demeanor. "Please, there has to be something I can do to help fix the barn."

She snorted at me. "With those flimsy little limbs of yours? You're just likely to get killed."

"What if I can prove that I'm capable?" I asked.

She laughed coldly. "Yeah, right. If you can even buck ten trees of apples, I'll consider letting you help."

"Deal," I said.

She only laughed again and left for the house, which was thankfully unharmed by the blaze.

Twilight approached me afterward. "I'm so sorry, she doesn't normally act like that."

I shrugged, trying to hide my frustration. "It's fine."

"How can you just be fine with that?" Twilight sighed.

I just shook my head. "Be honest with me. If I burnt down your home you would be furious, even if I wanted to fix it. Am I right?"

Twilight nodded reluctantly after a moment. "I guess I can see what you mean. Still, I'm disappointed."

"I'm not. I still got her to agree on a job for me, even if she doesn't take me seriously. I just have to buck ten apple trees."

Twilight gave me a worried look. "Do you really think you are strong enough to even buck one tree?"

I grinned and shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know until I have tried." I took a quick look at all the trees around me and approached one.

"What the heck is apple bucking anyway?"

Twenty minutes later, I sat in front of the tree. I had tried punching, kicking, ramming, anything I could think of. I hadn't even gotten the damn thing to do more than rustle. Nevertheless, I got up again.

I sized the tree up. "Maybe I can get a running start and try a jumping kick?"

"For most ponies, it’s less about strength and more about technique," she said, shaking her head at me. "For you, it's simply a lack of physical ability. Face it, you simply aren't strong enough."

I sat back down again and considered my current problem solving skill sets.

How have I dealt with problems so far? I guess it's just

A) Run

B) Fire

C) Die
Maybe it's time I just accepted that the farm mare doesn't want me around.

I thought about it for another second before speaking. "Hey Twinkie, what kind of job could I get in Ponyhill?"

She rolled her eyes at me. "I don't know. Why do you ask?"

"If she doesn't want me to help out around the farm to pay her back, I could just work somewhere else to get enough funding to pay her. I know she said she didn't want me around, but she didn't say that I can't pay her."

Twilight paused in thought, bringing a hoof up to her chin. "That might actually work. You would try whether or not I helped you, so I may as well come along. At least the others will be less likely to run away in panic if I go with you."

With that, we made our way back to town.

The first place we went to was a small costume shop that had a "help wanted" sign out front. While I was no judge of pony attire, I marveled at the way that each outfit seemed to convey the character represented. The scary costumes actually felt scary instead of silly, and the silly costumes didn't look like the hallucinations of a colorblind schizophrenic. Ironically, they wouldn't hire me because they were afraid I would scare away the customers. As if the zombie costume isn't doing that already.

A few minutes later we passed by a small place that had a bunch of clocks in the windows and a 'now hiring' sign on the door.

"It's worth a shot," I said as I pushed open the door. Inside, I met an old friend.

"Timebutt!"

His jaw dropped and bounced off the counter he sat behind.

Twilight came in behind me. "You two know each other?"

I rushed him and gave him a bear hug. "Aw yeah, me and Timebutt here are just the best of friends!" The look of horror on his face was worth the embarrassing act. I gave him a noogie as Twilight looked on skeptically.

"Just yesterday we were discussing how I could die next time," I said, grinning wildly.

"Go... fuck... a manticore," he choked out through my rib crushing buddy cuddle.

"See, he's really creative!"

Twilight shook her head and turned to the stallion in my arms. "Sorry about this, Time Turner. We were trying to get him a job so he could help pay Applejack for the barn. How do you know each other already?"

I loosened up my bear hug to let him speak for a moment.

"I'm the head of the militia, Ms. Sparkle. I was there when the human burnt the place down."

I dropped him to the floor as pain flooded my head. "I remember now. I'm a human." I groaned, releasing my head and shooting Timebutt a look of confusion. "How do you know what I am?"

"Lyra described something like you a few times and called it 'human', so I just assumed that's what you are," Time turner said with a shrug. "Honestly, humans are all she talks about some days. It gets really annoying."

"Can you tell me where I could find this 'Lyra' pony?" I asked.

"Actually," said Twilight, "I know where to go already."

"Awesome," I said, walking over to the door and holding it open. "Lead the way, then."

Twilight quickly muttered an apology to Time Turner before stepping out. I grinned and winked at him as the door slammed shut, and I could almost feel him glaring back through the door.

Unfortunately, Lyra was on vacation. Her roommate, Bon-Bon, was very helpful to us in her absence. She was a valuable source of information the second she opened the door.

"So, humans really do exist," she said, looking me up and down.

To say that I was a bit surprised is like saying that nuclear detonations can be warm. "How do you know what I am already?"

She laughed and said, "Lyra goes on and on about humans all the time. For years she has been convinced that you were real even when nopony else would believe her. Now one of them just shows up at our door and she is on vacation. Talk about bad timing!"

Twilight was visibly disappointed with Lyra's absence. "We were hoping that Lyra could tell us more about humans, considering that the only one in existence doesn't have any memory."

"Sorry, Twilight. All she really has are a bunch of drawings, but you can take a look at them if you want to."

The pictures were surprisingly accurate. While they did not have any useful information on them, the knowledge that something here knew anything about me was comforting. It was the closest thing we had to a lead on finding out about my past. I still didn't have a job though, so we thanked Bon-Bon and went looking for more employment opportunities.

"This is sugarcube corner," Twilight told me as we approached the shop. "The owners, Mr. and Mrs. Cake, are very nice. My friend Pinkie Pie works here too."

I opened the door and found myself face to face with a bright pink pony.

It's face lit up with sheer, explosive joy when it saw me. "Omigosh! You're new in town! I have to-"

"Nope."

*SLAM*

Without wasting a second, I turned and walked away.

"Where to next?" I asked a flabbergasted Twilight.

"This is Fluttershy's cottage. She cares for many of the animals around Ponyville and may be convinced to hire you as a helper."

"It's worth a shot," I said as Twilight knocked on the door.

The door opened to reveal the yellow pegasus from the hospital. Unfortunately, we never got the chance to ask her about my employment. She took one look at me and instantly froze.

"Uhh...Twirkle, is she alright?" I asked.

At the sound of my voice her eyes seemed to shrink backwards into her head. It was extremely creepy.

Twilight sighed and performed a facehoof. "Fluttershy, he's a friend. The barn incident was an accident and he doesn't want to hurt anypony."

Her words had no effect at all, and the panicked mare was getting oddly pale. It was definitely freaking me out by that point.

"Twilight, how about we leave before your friend passes out?"

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Don't worry, it usually takes her another thirty-four seconds before she-"

As if on cue, Fluttershy's legs gave out and she hit the floor. Twilight sighed defeatedly before she used her magic to pick up her unconscious friend as she let herself into the cottage.

"I get the feeling that this isn't the first time you've had to do this," I remarked as I followed her inside.

Twilight nodded distractedly as she levitated her friend into the living room. "Unfortunately, this is normal for Fluttershy. You'll get used to it if you stay around," she said as she placed the yellow mare on a couch. "You must have really frightened her though. She usually can hold out longer than that."

"Glad to see that everyone is taking my appearance so well," I grumbled. "Will she be fine when she wakes up? I didn't cause any serious brain damage, did I?"

Twilight smiled reassuringly. "She will be absolutely normal when she wakes up. Come on, we need to focus on finding that job for you. There are plenty of other ponies looking to hire."

With that, we set out again on our probably doomed quest of employment.

As the day wore on and more and more ponies turned me down, I grew increasingly angry. While none of them panicked or rioted against me, many of them would glare at me or hurry away as I approached.

Why do I care? Part of me asked. To be honest, I wasn't completely sure why. I felt that I shouldn't care about these ponies at all, yet I still wanted their approval. At the very least, I didn't want them to hate me.

Why should I care if they hate me? I belong among other humans, not among ponies. That much I know for certain. Just as before, I had no reasonable explanation. I shouldn't care, yet I still did.

My internal conflict did nothing to quell my increasing frustrations, and I found myself snapping at Twilight more than I should have. As we were walking through the park to the next potential employer, she confronted me about it.

"What is it with you all of a sudden? Why the sudden grouchy attitude and rudeness?"

I responded without thinking. "Go to hell." Immediately I felt terrible. I took a deep breath to calm myself. This isn't her fault. Don't take it out on her.

"I'm sorry Twilight. I've just had a long day. Everyone keeps giving me these strange looks and I can't get a job anywhere because every pony thinks I'm a monster. On top of all that, I barely have any memories."

Maybe I should tell her about the crazy voice and the memory flashes. I entertained the thought for a second. Not yet. She seems trustworthy enough, but I'll keep this to myself for the time being.

She looked at me with a mix of frustration and concern. "I know it has been tough for you, but that can't be everything."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"A little frustration over a few odd looks and some memory loss don't add up with how angry you seem. It's as if you are going out of your way to just be as spiteful as you can to everypony you meet!" she said.

Her eyes softened a bit. "I'm worried about you. What is it that is troubling you so much?"

"I don't know."

"I just want to help," she pleaded. "You can tell me what it is."

That only made me even more frustrated. "I told you, I don't know! I have no idea why I'm so angry. Everything is just too chaotic right now." I sighed and turned around. "I'm going to go back to the apple place and work this out on the trees. I'll be there if you want to find me." She said nothing, so I left.

I felt bad ditching her there after how nice she had been, but I needed to vent my frustration somehow. I didn't want her to be on the receiving end of that anger. If it had been any other pony I would have gone off on them. Maybe it's just because she is the only one to help me so far. That, or I really have gone insane.

I felt a pang of loss as I watched some pegasi play around in the skies. They were tossing around a ball, laughing and cheering each other on. Watching it made me feel lonely since the first time I entered this strange land. It was another emotion atop a mountain of my confusion that was slowly melting into anger.

I tore my gaze away from the happy friends and focused on the path to the farm. I idly scratched an itch on my neck and bumped cool metal instead of flesh. What the heck?

Around my neck rested a simple metal chain with a small perfectly clear crystal in the shape of a circle hanging from it. I had no idea what purpose it served, but I knew it was incredibly important. This was no ordinary jewelery, of that I was sure. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't remember why.

Why? Heck, that question sums up everything. Why am I here? Why don't I remember anything? Why is this necklace so important? Why do I still care about fixing this stupid barn? I growled in frustration and kicked away a stray rock in my path.

I stopped to calm down as I came to an open field. I really need to control my anger better. I can't let it get to me. I took a moment to look around me. It really was picturesque. The tall grass swayed gently in the light breeze. The treetops rustled softly and birds chirped sweetly. No ponies were around. It was a peaceful moment all to myself. I sat down and leaned against a tree as I enjoyed the serenity of the moment and tried to just let go of my anger. It wasn't easy but I was starting to feel a bit calmer after some time.

I closed my eyes as the gentle sounds of nature lulled me into relaxation. I could use a nap about now.

"There you are, monster!"

...or not. Any anger I had gotten rid of rushed back twice as powerfully. I cracked one eye open to see who the idiot that disturbed my sleep was. I did not expect a sudden blast of light to fill my vision. I pushed myself upright but was quickly shoved from behind. I fell into the dirt as I heard a small pop. A moment later, I felt myself flung through the air by a strange force that seemed to encase my entire body. Just as I impacted the earth again, the world was rocked by an explosion of fire that seemed to have centered on my chest.

It burned so much. I had held on to some hope that burning alive would hurt less after I had already done it, yet I had been proven wrong already. Aww c'mon universe! I can't even go one day without burning alive!

"Come, Sister, we must finish off the monster."

That was the final straw. I had been through enough already! The tipping point had been reached, and my frustration and anger boiled over into pure hate. I hated being called creature. I hated burning alive. I hated these ponies. I HATE!

I tore my eyes open to a new sight. Two alicorns were before me, both blasting me with that strange aura from their horns. While I could have sworn it had been a blue sky and sunny day, I now beheld a darkening atmosphere. Everything seemed tinged with red as I forced myself upright out of the crater I was blasted into. I heard the two shouting to each other, but it didn't matter anymore.

I took a step forward.

Nothing mattered to me now. It was only about one thing: hate. The hate for these two ponies that dared to challenge me.

Another step.

The hate that fueled my steps as I slowly pushed back against the twin beams. My flesh was literally melting away underneath the searing power of their combined light, yet it was returning just as fast.

Just a few feet away. Hate.

Another step.

Everything was glowing red. Hate. I could feel the power of my rage fueling me.

Another step.

I could see the pain on their faces as they poured all their effort into their attack. Hate kill them hate hate. The closer I got, the tougher it was to take another step. HATE

Another step.

My pain meant nothing to me now. HATE The beautiful power coursed through me as I rushed forward and grabbed the white one around the throat. The blue one screamed something that I ignored. I backhanded her and sent her stumbling backwards with the strength of my HATE.

My grip tightened on the white one. My nails cut flesh and more red flowed out. I spat in her face and laughed as she fell limp. I heard the blue one screaming again, but my pounding heartbeat in my head drowned out the words. Doesn't matter. I wrapped one arm around her neck and reached with the other to grab her head. I gathered my strength to end her... and I stopped.

The blue one was lying where I had left her. The most she could do was make her horn spark a bit. It was truly pathetic. Yet something in those eyes stopped me. They were the eyes of the broken of spirit. The eyes of the weary and powerless, only watching the inevitable with sorrow.

I blinked.