Ponyville Bachelors' Club

"You're right Doc," started Caramel, leaning forward onto the table, "I see where you're coming from, and I miss being able to just be a guy sometimes, especially when Noteworthy's out of town, but at the same time, it's nice. It's hard for a stallion to be lonely for long here."

"I thought you were still with Sassaflash?" asked Lucky.

"I still am, but things are going downhill between us."

"I see where you're going with this," started Doc as he reclined a bit to listen.

"She keeps coming between me and Noteworthy. She says I spend more time with him than her. I just tell her that's because I live with the guy, but she's still pissed. And the worst part is, she hardly ever comes to me with anything; it's always her friends that tell me this stuff. They're like freaking messengers."

"Why haven't ya told me any of this?" remarked Noteworthy, "I hate to come 'tween you two."

"It's not your fault. It's between her and I, you don't need to worry. I don't know, she just thinks she's not important to me. She is though, but I don't know how to show her that," the stallion looked to his friends, "What do you guys think?"

"Well," started Thunderlane, "When I'm having mare trouble, I normally just find another mare."

"I'm not talking like that Lane. You can keep living the way you are player, but I need to stick with Sassaflash."

"Have you told her anything like what you just told us?" inquired Doc.

"Yes, and she's still stuck in her head."

Noteworthy chimed in upon reverting to his armchair in the corner and placing his guitar in his lap, "Well fella, sounds like you've got only one option."

The musician strummed a chord, and waited for anticipation to build before saying, "You've gotta give her somethin'."

"What like a gift? How will that work?" started Caramel before gauging the many expressions in the room.

At once he realized what he meant.

"We've done that in the past. How will that help now?"

"It works for me," admitted Lucky, "I've held my share of relationships. I just realized I'm never going to tie the knot, so I quit breaking hearts."

"So I need to have sex with her?"

"Not just sex," started Snowflake, "make up sex; the best kind."

"That's such horseshit," started Noteworthy, "I mean, it works, but it's not the best kind."

"No, it definitely is the best," remarked Snowflake.

"Maybe for you," laughed Thunderlane.

The white pegasus swelled up in anger upon being challenged.

"Remember when I dated Cloudchaser a few years back. Go ahead and ask her about it; she'll tell you."

"She already did," started Thunderlane, snickering again, "Ever wonder why she dumped you right after that? You had that fight and then I'm assuming you made up, and then what?"

Snowflake's head lowered in shame, but then he looked back up, glaring.

"You want to make something of it Lane?" he said threateningly.

"No I'm not saying anything other than maybe, it wasn't as good as you thought," he said, appeasing the meathead, but then added, "But, she did start going out with that guy from Cloudsdale, like, a day after she left you."

Snowflake rose from his seat, sending the furniture skidding backwards, but the black pegasus didn't stop there.

"And to top it off, she came to me a few days later, and she told me a bit about you. Needless to say, now I know you're not just compensating for your wings."

"THAT'S IT!"

Snowflake lounged for Thunderlane, but the pesgasus was quick, and he fled only to be pursued around the home's interior by his much larger, enraged friend.

They made three laps, knocking nearly everything to the floor and putting a few new holes in the dry wall.

"Guys help!" shouted Thunderlane as he diverted his course by pushing off a wall, Snowflake crashing into it behind him, and flying to the opposite side of the room.

"You're in deep now," scolded Noteworthy from his chair with a sly grin.

"Come on!" he yelled, barely avoiding a strike to the face, "He'll kill me!"

"You know what," began Doc to the other as an empty bottle missed Thunderlane's ducking skull by inches, "he's right. Should we help him?"

They looked over at the sound of a heavy thud, and found that Snowflake had Thunderlane curled up on the ground in the mother of all sleeper holds. The larger of the two was taunting back and his veins were coming to the surface of his skin, his victim's face turning cherry red.

"Maybe we should. I don't feel like burying a body tonight," explained Caramel as Mac rose to help the endangered.

It took Noteworthy all of his strength and Mac a little more than half of his to remove Thunderlane from Snowflake's vice like grip.

Once separated, Mac held Snowflake in a full nelson and Noteworthy and Lucky held Thunderlane away from his still seething assailant.

"YOU'RE DEAD!" shouted Snowflake, trying to no avail to free himself of the utterly calm Macintosh.

"No, you'd miss me," started Thunderlane after reacquiring breath, "Man you have anger issues. Maybe you should lay off the roids."

"SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"

"Relax. Damn man. Are you pissed at me or are you just upset that whoever made you forgot to give you a neck?"

"Shut up Lane!" yelled Lucky, smacking him upside the head.

Doc took the role of negotiator while Caramel tried to get clear of the line of fire. If something went wrong between the two stallions, Lane was sure not to run again by the glare on his face, and a brawl would definitely ensue.

"Thunderlane," began Doc, "apologize."

"No way, he tried to kill me!"

"You provoked him, now say you're sorry, or I'll have Mac let him go."

The pegasus sighed, and sarcastically said "I'm sorry I insulted your masculinity, your neck, your juiced up chest, your love life and for pissing in your cider."

"It's o...WHAT?!"

"What?" countered Thunderlane calmly.

"Did you say you p..."

"No," interrupted Thunderlane, feigning innocence.

Doc interrupted the tension, and said, "Now, apologize for trying to kill him."

"He had it coming!"

"He'd be dead by now if we hadn't stepped in, and then, you would probably be taking much bigger, much more painful beatings in prison a few weeks from now."

Snowflake sighed, and still glaring, said, "I'm sorry I tried to snap your scrawny neck."

"Good enough. Now, both of you promise that you won't try and murder one another when we let you go."

"Fine," the two grumbled in unison.

The holds loosened, and the two found themselves facing the previous source of their aggression. Eventually, Thunderlane extended a hoof.

"We cool?"

Snowflake extended his forelimb, and bumped the stallion's hoof.

"We're cool."

The seven returned to their seats.

"So, where were we?"

"Somewhere between Snowflake's girl leaving him and his small dick," said Thunderlane, and then darted back around the room with Snowflake in a pursuit of blind rage, while the others tried desperately to stop them.