Chapters

S1E02: The Only Ones Who Know
S1E03: Chronology
S1E01: Unusual Punishment*

S1E02: The Only Ones Who Know
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Doctor Whooves: Echo

S1E02: The Only Ones Who Know

"Alright, Miss Roseluck." The Doctor twirled about the control panel, attempting to impress me by showing off his skill with the machine. "Where do you wanna go?"

"Uh..." I thought for a moment.

"Anywhere, anytime, just tell me and we'll be there before you can say 'space-time continuum,' " he proclaimed proudly.

"Um..." It was quite daunting, really. I can't tell you how many times I thought about visiting somewhere impossible. Of course, now that a golden opportunity was being presented to me, I couldn't think of a single place to go.

"Take your time, it'll come to you."

All at once, the perfect idea popped into my head. "The first Summer Sun Celebration!" I cried.

The Doctor knit his eyebrows. "Erm... how about a time and a place? I honestly have no idea what that is."

"Dawn, first day of year zero," I told him. "It was when Celestia took the throne, over two thousand years ago." The photo Silver Boulder had shown me had the Doctor in it. He was bound to wind up there sooner or later, so why not now?

"Sounds lovely!" The Doctor agreed. He began bounding around the console, flipping switches and pressing buttons as quick as he could manage. It was kind of like watching a one-stallion band.

"You need help?"

"No, no! Done this millions of times. You just sit back and watch the magic."

"Oh, fine," I muttered. There was a beat-up car seat attached to the hoof-rail with about four rolls of duct tape. I made myself comfortable and watched.

At first, the ride was pretty smooth. There was some pitching and rocking, much like a boat on the ocean, but it was almost soothing. The engine ground and wheezed, but it seemed to carry us just fine.

"Whoops..." The Doctor stood stock still. I felt the pit of my stomach rise into my throat as the TARDIS began to free-fall god knows how far.

The sick wheezing of the engine began to stall and fade away.

"What did you do?!" I demanded, screaming over the sound of the wind whistling around the machine.

"It's these hooves! I-I think I hit the wrong button!"

"Oh, you think?" I spat back. "Well, can't you do something?"

The Doctor didn't have time to answer. The TARDIS hit what I assumed to be the ground and the two of us were flung into the air, landing with solid thuds on the metal catwalk.

The air had been knocked clean out of me, and it took a few shaky breaths for me to regain the ability to speak. As soon as I had, though, the first thing out of my mouth was, "Some alien you are."

"Oi! Respect the captain!" he retorted.

"Guessing we aren't at the Summer Sun Celebration, either." I hauled myself off the floor.

The Doctor grabbed what looked like a television screen attached to the pillar at the center and tilted it towards him. "Huh. Says July thirty-first, 1947. Someplace called... Appleloosa?" He looked over at me. "Sound familiar?"

I shrugged. "Sort of. This was before there were settlements here, so it's probably empty."

"Huh. That's odd." The Doctor peered at the screen.

"What?"

"I think I fixed the Chameleon Circuit."

I blinked. "The what?"

"It's what makes the TARDIS look like a Police Box. It's been broken for years, but... all that bashing about must've fixed it somehow. Stripped away the disguise entirely. Take a look." He swung the screen towards me.

"All I see is a grey blob. Is that what it normally looks like?" I looked at him. He was still staring at the image.

"Yeah. That's odd. Lots of crash landings, but this was the one to fix that thing." He chuckled. "Well! Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Gift pony? Is that offensive?" He looked confused.

"Don't even know what it means," I said truthfully.

"Well, I must refrain from using it. I suppose 'hold your horses' is a no-no, as well?"

I shrugged.

"Never mind that. We've got Appleloosa to explore! You and me! Doctor and companion, as it should be!" He trotted to the door. "Whaddya say? You wanna do the honors?"

I smiled, nodding vigorously and joined him. The door made the exact same satisfactory creaking sound each time it was opened, and this time was no exception.

I threw both doors wide open, looking out at a barren desert. Barren, that is, except for the chain-link fence that surrounded us.

"Huh." The Doctor stepped out onto the cracked earth. "This is an interesting place, eh? Why put a fence up?" he turned back to look at me, but stopped halfway. "Oh."

"Doctor, what is it?" I climbed out, looking in the same direction.

In the distance, there was a little shack no bigger than a typical shed. But what the Doctor was occupied with was right in front of us.

An earth pony, a stallion, stood staring at us, eyes wider than I'd seen on any living thing. He had a cigarette loosely held in the corner of his mouth, which quivered and dropped, still smoking.

The Doctor's jaw dropped a bit, but quickly snapped back to his typical grin. "Sorry about this."

~~~~~

"Wh-who... who..." the pony stuttered. He had a caramel coat that matched the dirt almost exactly. His mane was an attractive balance of grey and white, and he had sideburns that nearly met below his chin.

"Call me the Doctor. This is Roseluck, my friend." He was still beaming.

"Are... are you aliens?" the stallion squeaked out.

"Pin a medal on the man! He certainly knows an alien when he sees one!" The Doctor walked up to him and threw a leg around his shoulders. "What gave it away? The grey capsule that came out of the sky?"

"Oh my god! Are you hurt? Did we hit you?" I rushed to him.

The pony slowly shook his head, still staring at the TARDIS.

"Thank god..." I sighed.

"Um... I'd better get Cloudy..." the stallion murmured, pulling away from the Doctor and heading for the shed-like structure.

The Doctor watched as he stumbled off in a daze. "Poor sod..."

"What's so poor about him?" I asked.

"He's in shock. Won't remember a word of this by the time he reaches that building." He sniggered. "Not that he said much, but... come on!"

The Doctor started off at a brisk trot. I galloped to catch up.

"I don't get it. What's going on? What is this place?"

"It's some kind of research center, I'd bet." He sniffed the air. "Dangerous research. I can smell explosives."

"Sure that's not the burning TARDIS?"

He cleared his throat, looking slightly annoyed. "My TARDIS doesn't burn. It just doesn't. And I know C-4 when I smell it." He smiled. "This is exciting! New universe, new planet, new everything! Love it!" He broke into a gallop, swiftly reaching the shed.

"Well, do you think it's secret? O-or illegal?" I wondered.

The Doctor ignored me, tapping a polite hoof on the door. "Hello! Don't mind if I let myself in, do you?"

I could hear raised voices through the thin metal door. "Don't think they heard any of that, Doctor."

He gave the door a gentle shove.

Inside was a grey mare. She had short hair that curled gently around her cheeks, framing her sharp eyes with a dull blue-green. "Igneous, you've lost it!" she was shouting. She seemed to notice us. "Oh. Sorry. Come on in, sit down. I'm sure you've got an explanation for this."

While the Doctor made himself comfortable, I glanced about the room. The whole building was this one area, which wasn't surprising. The walls were lined with tables piled high with lumps of metal, hunks of strange-colored rocks, and oddly-shaped things that I could not give names to.

The Doctor had snagged a chair and was now sitting in it backwards. "Thanks! Hope we didn't cause trouble."

I shook my head, finding an unoccupied seat.

"Huh..." Igneous looked thoughtfully towards the Doctor. "Maybe you're right. He sounds Bittish."

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Honestly? Did you really just say that? I sound 'Bittish,' therefore I must be, is that right?"

"Well, are you?" the mare pressed.

The Doctor shrugged. "I could be. You've gotta work for that information."

The mare scowled. "Oh, don't worry. I will."

Igneous rested a hoof on her shoulder. "Deep breaths. This is Cloudy Quartz, my... partner."

"Ah! The stallion's found his voice!" the Doctor exclaimed.

Igneous blushed.

"Quite a cutie mark," I pointed to Igneous. "You too, actually."

"Oh! Yeah, I used to get teased..." Igneous mumbled.

"I'll bet..." a flying saucer, all in shades of grey was pictured on his flank. Grey, that is, except for the dome on top. That was pink. Cloudy's was slightly less embarrassing: a lumpy rock with a glowing pink interior. "Geode?"

"Enough small talk," she demanded.

"Sorry. What do you do here?" I asked.

Igneous sighed. "Well, we're training for jobs with the EBI--"

"Equestrian Bureau of Information!" The Doctor laughed heartily. "That's brilliant!"

Cloudy cleared her throat. "It would be, but we're stuck here with this dead-end research job."

The Doctor took a look about the room. "Oh! I see. You're after the aliens, aren't you?"

Cloudy rolled her eyes.

"I am..." Igneous admitted. "But Cloudy's a bit skeptical of that sort of thing."

"You're crazy," she stated. "All of you."

I scoffed. "Thanks a lot."

Cloudy stuck out her tongue.

The Doctor had turned around to poke at things on the table behind him. Cloudy didn't seem to care in the least, but Igneous winced at the slightest sound. It looked like it was up to me to lead this meeting.

"Um... well, what is it you want?" I asked hesitantly.

"An explanation. That fence is electrocuted. We need to find out how you got here so we can fix holes in security. Iggy here is convinced you're aliens, but I'm sure it's nothing quite so... fanciful." Cloudy spun a chair about and sat in it, facing me.

"Is this some kind of interrogation?" I back up a bit.

"I suppose you could call it that, but that doesn't mean we're trying to arrest you. Start with names." She seemed friendly enough.

"Well, I'm Roseluck. That's the Doctor." I nodded toward him.

"Uh... Doctor... what?"

My fake smile faded. "Wish I knew."

Cloudy stared at the Doctor for a minute or two. "Okay..."

The Doctor lifted a strange slab of rock. "Where'd you get this?"

Igneous rushed over. He explained it's origin with complicated words that meant almost nothing to me.

"Where are you from?" Cloudy brought the focus back to her.

"Well, I'm from Hoofdon originally. I moved to Ponyville about a month back..." I realized that the month I'd spent in Ponyville was actually far in the future. "Ish..."

"And him?" she gestured once again to the Doctor, who was wrestling with Igneous over the slab.

"Uh..." I actually had no idea. "I... I'm not sure."

Cloudy raised her eyebrows. "Do you know anything about him?"

"Um..." I thought about that. Real name? No. Home? Uh-uh. "He's, uh..."

"I see." Cloudy sank in her seat. "Well, how did you get here?"

"In the TARDIS." I pointed at the door. "It's the thing out there."

"So you're saying it's some kind of spaceship?"

"Well, yeah." I muttered. I wasn't going to spring the whole 'time machine' part on her just yet.

" 'TARDIS...' what does that mean?"

I frowned. "Not sure. Hey, Doctor!" I tapped him on the shoulder. He let go of the rock. "What does 'TARDIS' mean, anyway? Cloudy's asking."

"It stands for 'Time And Relative Dimension In Space.' It's a fancy way of saying 'this thing travels in space and time and is it's own dimension.' " The Doctor explained, rather sarcastically.

Cloudy looked more than a little shocked. "How does that work?"

"Oh, like you'd even understand." He snatched the stick back from Igneous.

"Fine." Cloudy took a deep breath. "Do you know what he means by that?"

"Well, it's... it's kind of... alive, I think." I don't know how I knew that. I just seemed to make sense. There was a feeling when you were in the TARDIS, like you could never be harmed as long as it was all around you. It sounds completely daft, but it's true.

"Alive? Can it speak? How do you know this?" she asked as many questions as would fit in a single breath.

I shrugged. "It just is. Probably. But it's also... well, see, the inside is..." I made some odd gestures. I wanted to sound clever when I said it, otherwise she'd never believe me. I gave up. "It's bigger on the inside."

She gave me a look like I was both the stupidest and most intriguing pony on the face of the planet, which I may have been. "Bigger on the inside? And it can travel through time and space? Is this movement limited?"

"N-not that I know of... of course, I don't think it does other dimensions." That made sense. If he could move through dimensions freely, why would he stay here?

"But isn't it a dimension in itself?"

"Well, yes... I think..." I dropped my head. "I don't know. I really don't know."

Cloudy sighed. "Well, time to bring the Doctor over, then. I'd like to talk with him."

I reached over, poking the Doctor in the shoulder several times. "Doctor. Forget about that rock, Cloudy wants to talk with you."

He let go rather easily, his classic grin covering his face. "Sure. I'd love to talk science with this young lady."

"Don't try to flatter me, Doctor. I want answers. First: where are you from?"

"Gallifrey, two lightyears due west of the Pices Supercluster Complex. It's part of a binary star system that makes up the constellation Kasterborous. Enough information for you?"

Cloudy blinked in confusion. "Um... is that a planet?"

"No, it's an alcoholic beverage. Yes, it's a planet!"

Cloudy held up her hooves defensively. "Fine. So, if you're from another planet, why do you have that accent?"

The Doctor's whole form seemed to droop. "Ugh. Why is this such a big deal? Listen-- how many planets do you think there are?"

"In the galaxy?"

"In the universe! Everywhere!"

"Billions? Trillions?" Cloudy guessed.

"That's about one percent of the number you're looking for, but I won't go there. Now how many planets do you think could have life?" The Doctor was smiling a bit, loving his superior mind.

"That's not possible."

"Yes it is, and I'm your proof. You don't think that of those billions upon trillions of planets with life, not one could have life with a similar accent?"

Cloudy folded her hooves, appearing like a grumpy foal. "Well, when you put it like that..."

"Exactly. That's what life is all about, Miss Quartz. Looking at things like that." He patted her cheek.

"O-okay..."

The Doctor was still grinning. "Love it when others get like that around me. It's rather funny."

"Well, you said you were proof of alien life. How do you plan on proving that?" Cloudy was suddenly confident.

"You got a stethoscope? I'll prove it in a heartbeat." He giggled at his own joke. "Ha. 'Heartbeat.' Get it?" He looked to me for backup.

"I got it."

Cloudy dug about a pile of junk on the table next to her. "I have one, it's got some space dust on it, but it should still work."

"Well enough to hear what you need to." The Doctor removed his coat, puffing out his chest to be examined.

"I never asked. Where did you get that mended? When I first saw you, it was in tatters." I gestured to the jacket on the floor.

"Oh, some unicorn I met in Ponyville. What's-her-name... Clarity? Rarity!"

"Shh! I can't hear!" Cloudy put a hoof over the Doctor's mouth. We were all silent as Cloudy moved the metal disk about the Doctor's chest. "Oh my god..."

"Told you. Alien!"

"I don't get it," I said.

"He's got two hearts..." Cloudy murmured, sounding more angry than awestruck. "Iggy was right all this time..."

Igneous smiled to himself. "Knew it."

I looked over at The Doctor, who beamed as he shrugged his jacket back on. "Two hearts?"

He nodded proudly. "Where do you think I get all this energy?"

"W-what kind of alien are you? A shape-shifter? How advanced is your technology?" Igneous was starting to sway back and forth, growing excited by the aspect of a real, live alien.

"A time lord. Not that you know what that is," he added under his breath, grabbing at more things on the tables. "Ha! You know what this is, right?" He held up a smooth stone with a pink glow radiating from deep inside.

"Haven't gotten there yet." Cloudy took the rock from him, putting it back in it's original place.

"Yeah, well, don't look too far into it. I don't think you want to know." He continued picking things up, tossing aside the ones that didn't interest him.

"Would you keep your hooves off!" Cloudy yelled, smacking his ankles away.

"Sorry..." The Doctor shrank away like a scolded child, which he really was, quite honestly. "I suppose you could call me a shape-shifter..."

"Ooh! Really? Could you show us? Can you sprout wings or a horn or something?" Igneous' grin was as wide as it could possibly get.

"It isn't some parlor trick! I can only change twelve times." He started picking at a loose thread on his jacket.

"And why is that?" Cloudy pressed.

"It's just the rules. Like 'humans can't breathe underwater' and 'ponies should have four legs.' It just is." He chuckled. "I just realized how many times a day I say that. 'It just is.' " He continued laughing.

I stared at him. "Why didn't you mention any of this stuff? They're things I'd like to know!"

"You didn't ask!"

"Well, now I'm asking. Tell me more about the shape-shifting thing." I folded my hooves across my chest.

He sighed. "It's called regeneration. I can have thirteen bodies, and they each live for hundreds of years. At the end of life thirteen, I just... die."

"And... is that how you became a pony?" I asked.

"I knew he wasn't always a pony!" Igneous shouted, pointing at him almost accusingly.

"To tell you the truth, I don't know. It's a mystery." He smiled. "I love mysteries! Now, how about technology? Wanna see my ship?"

Igneous nodded vigorously. Cloudy pretended not to be interested. "Yeah, sure."

I leapt up, happy to be doing something instead of just talking about the Doctor. Though, to be fair, I think I learned more about him with Igneous and Cloudy leading the interrogation. Who knew what else he was hiding...

The Doctor sauntered to the door, practically kicking it open, and galloped for the TARDIS. It looked kind of ugly sitting there, wedged in the dirt, so plain and industrial.

"I welcome you," he announced, "to the TARDIS!" He pushed the door open.

"Whoa..." Cloudy marched forward, wanting to explore.

Igneous had to take a moment and pick his jaw up off the ground before wandering inside.

The Doctor waved me through, then cantered to the console. "So... what do you think?"

Igneous was silent, just looking slowly about the room, his eyes bugging out far enough to cast a shadow.

Cloudy was trying to control a smile that threatened to curl her lips.

"Cloudy?" the Doctor put a hoof on her shoulder. "What are you thinking about?"

"I was thinking... what was that thing you kept putting your hooves all over inside?"

I glanced over at him. His eyes had widened, and he was unnaturally quiet for a moment. "Um... it was nothing, really. Just get rid of it, please."

"Why?" Cloudy leaned back against one of the roots.

"Because--"

"Is it dangerous?"

"Not on it's own. Just get rid of it." His voice was barely above a whisper. "It shouldn't be here."

I moved in close to the Doctor, whispering in his ear. "Doctor, what's wrong?"

"I don't know... but it feels wrong." I didn't know the Doctor very well, but his face was a bit crumpled, like he was hurt but he couldn't tell why.

I rubbed his shoulder gently. "It's okay."

He kept staring, trying hard to remember something that wouldn't quite come to him. After a few minutes, he jolted, the smile returning. "So whaddya think? Amazing, eh?"

I frowned. Why was he acting like this? It was the second time he'd done it. The first was when he heard my name... he looked like he was in pain, then just forgot. Half the time, the Doctor was amazing. The other half... he kind of scared me.

"It's CRAZY!" Igneous screamed. "This is-- i-it's-- I can't think of the word!" He bounced around like a foal. He put two hooves on the outer rim of the console. "Hey, what's all this do?"

"Flies it. What do you think?" The Doctor rolled his eyes.

"All of this does?" Cloudy gazed at the hundreds of controls.

"Well... most of it does. I mean, this one does the radio--" He tapped some buttons and flicked a switch. Smooth jazz blasted down from the ceiling. "And that's a phone."

"Really? How does it work? It isn't hooked up to anything." Cloudy scrutinized the rotary phone on the console.

"Like a mobile phone. Wireless."

"What's a mobile phone?" I asked.

The Doctor smacked his forehead. "You don't have mobiles? Ugh, this'll be difficult--"

"How do you stop the radio?" Iggy fooled with the controls.

"Don't touch that!" The Doctor yelled, shoving him away.

Everything happened at once. Iggy went wheeling across the room, his head hit one of the roots and knocked him out. Cloudy was at his side, trying to shake him awake. The TARDIS began to groan, then shake, then backfire. The floor rocketed towards me, and all four of us were pressed against the grating as the TARDIS flew higher and higher. Finally, though, it hit it's peak, slowed down, and flipped over. The music stopped.

Cloudy was the first to scream, followed by me and Iggy. The Doctor just held on tight, telling us over and over that everything was fine.

"The hell, it's fine!" Cloudy shrieked back.

"Just hold on!" he returned, trying not to lose his temper.

"Oh, thanks!" Cloudy answered sarcastically.

The sound of the TARDIS hitting the ground was like nothing I'd ever heard. It was so loud that I couldn't hear anything for a good minute after. In that minute, I took a look around. Remarkably, the interior wasn't damaged at all, although anything loose had been tossed about. This included a few patches of the metal grate below us. Iggy and Cloudy looked okay, if a bit out of it, and I only had some bruises to deal with.

But the Doctor was another story. I'd only spent a total of an hour or two with the stallion, but not once had I seen him look unhappy. Now however, he was scowling, almost glaring, at the little screen attached to the console.

"Doctor?" I called his name. "Doctor?"

He turned to Igneous. "Do you know what you've done?"

"N-no.." he barely breathed, terrified by the fire in the Doctor's eyes.

"You sent a flare. You sent a signal!" The Doctor roared.

"What kind of signal?" Cloudy asked. She didn't seem to notice that she was still clutching Igneous.

"A challenge. And that wouldn't so bad, but now they know exactly where we are! We just made the biggest crash-landing in history!" He started fooling with a keyboard on the console. "There's nothing I can do. They're coming."

"Who's coming?"

"I don't know. And we can't just put the shields back up, they'll attack somewhere else." He looked at the pair of ponies on the floor, holding each other for dear life. Of course, as the Doctor stared, they realized what they were doing, almost leaping away from each other. "Well, then. Guess we'd better see what you have in your little hut."

~~~~~

"Rock... rock... rock... leaking battery..." The Doctor lifted the item, holding it up to Cloudy's face. "Why do you have this?"

"Ugh... look, it was mostly a scoop of gravel and stuff from where an asteroid landed." Cloudy tossed the battery in a nearby garbage can. "You wouldn't believe some of the other crap we've found in here."

"Rock... rock... this is a load of rubbish!"

Igneous frowned. "It's what we're stuck with, unfortunately."

The Doctor growled under his breath. He then turned to me. "Rose, go check the scanner would you? It's the little screeen in the TARDIS. Make sure there aren't any alarms as of yet."

I nodded, leaving the shack and sprinting for the TARDIS. It took me a minute or two to find the door, as the entire ship was now drab grey concrete without handles or anything else. As soon as it slid open, however, I was bathed in silent yellow light. No alarms.

"Thank god..." I murmured. "Eesh... it's a mess in here..."

It was true. The room had been thrown apart from the multiple crash-landings, and now lay in almost total ruin. The stress of the last time in the TARDIS had blinded me to mess we had made. The missing bits of grate revealed a mess of wire tied in hopeless knots. Some pulsed with light, while others made electric sounds I was sure I hadn't heard before the latest crash.

"What's that?" I said out loud. I had a habit of talking to myself, but only when nopony else was around.

In one bare spot, the wires were a bit thinner. beneath them, I could see what I thought was wood.

I didn't want to go poking my hooves into a sizzling mess of wires, so I resolved to report it to the Doctor. I was sure he knew what it was, but maybe he needed a gentle reminder. Who knew? There could be something useful inside.

I trotted back to the shed, leaning inside. "All clear. What's that box under the wires?"

The Doctor stopped digging through the pile of stones, looking over at me. "What?"

"The grate came loose in a few spots. I saw a box under the wires. Do you know what's in it?"

He pushed away from the table, rubbing the back of his head with his hoof. "Um.. memorabilia, I suppose." I watched as his eyes narrowed. He jumped out of the chair. "Rose! You're a genius!"

"Uh--"

Before I could say anything, the Doctor had grabbed my by the cheeks and given me a peck on the forehead. "I've got stuff to help in there, I'm sure! Just gotta find it..."

"What are we waiting for?" Cloudy ran for the door, nearly plowing into me. "Time to save the world!"

Iggy followed her, then the Doctor. I know it was kind of silly, but after knowing a stallion for less than a day, a kiss (however small) was something to think about.

I shook my head. Bigger fish to fry, Rose. One thing at a time.

I ran after the three of them, the hard earth starting to hurt my hooves after so many times back and forth.

The Doctor dove right into the wires, hauling out not one trunk, but three. "Well, it's only 'N' through 'P,' but it should still help."

"Excuse me?" Cloudy seemed very confused.

"I collect things. Just little souvenirs from the planets I visit," he explained, opening the first dusty trunk.

"Whatever happened to 'leave only footprints, take only pictures?' " Cloudy quipped.

"He follows his own rules," I told her. This much I knew for sure, after only a short time. I mean, time travel in stories always seemed to have a lot of rules. He followed none of them, to my knowledge.

"Yup, that's me. The rebel of the universe. Aha!" He pulled out a green crystal that pulsed with light. " 'P' for 'power cell!' And, if I'm not mistaken..." He tossed a few other strange things from the 'N' trunk, and the three of us had to dodge his reckless throws. "Yes! 'N' for 'Nestinean disrupter!' "

"Um... what's that then?" I asked.

The Doctor started laughing. "Let's just say it'll discourage anything landing on this planet for a while."

"Well, great!" Igneous sprinted to the door.

"There's one last thing I need..." The Doctor smiled a bit.

"What's that?"

"A helping hand-- hoof." The Doctor sighed. " 'Cos even though I don't belong here, I think I should try to make a friend or two."

I ruffled his short mane. "Good to see you're learning."

He smiled shyly, blushing a bit. "Never let it be said that I couldn't acclimate." He cleared his throat. "Iggy, could you get these trunks back under the grate?"

Iggy nodded.

"Rose, put this on the console, please." He passed me the disrupter, which looked rather like a miniature flying saucer. It was surprisingly light for it's size, and was made of thin metal that didn't dent or scuff. "Look for a black wire with a green tip and plug it into the hole with the same shape."

I started digging around on the console, picking apart clumps of wire.

The Doctor addressed Cloudy last. "Listen. I know this is your job and everything, but this disrupter is going to make a mess. It'll probably take down your lab."

Cloudy shrugged. "Greater good, right?"

"That's what I like to hear!"

"Uh... which one is it?" I held up three black wires all with green tips.

"Middle one. Just get it hooked up, I'll be right with you." The Doctor turned back to Cloudy. "There's something else I need to talk to you about. Outside, please?"

The two disappeared outside the TARDIS, leaving me alone with Iggy.

"Why don't you tell her?" I asked suddenly, not looking up from my work.

"Tell who what?" Iggy feigned ignorance.

I giggled. "You know what I'm talking about. Tell Cloudy you like her."

Iggy face flushed red. "Heh... you noticed?"

I gave him a look that said, 'how could I not?'

"Yeah..." He locked the third trunk, pushing it back into the hole. "Well... I've gotta work up my courage, you know?"

I rolled my eyes. "You're facing down aliens, Iggy. If you can't ask her out on a simple date afterwards, you're further gone than I thought."

This time Iggy's face was red with rage. "Well, I will!"

I grinned. "Good. You need somepony like her to... ground you."

"What does that mean?"

"It means your head is always floating out in space, day dreaming about jobs with the government and alien droppings that fall from the sky."

"Hey--"

"Cloudy's just the pony to show you what real life is like."

"How can you say that? You know an alien! We're standing inside a spaceship! This is real!" Iggy clearly didn't get what I was trying to say.

I sighed. "Yes. But it's not all aliens and adventures. You could have a life here, in Equestria, and it could be better than what you see in those rocks."

Iggy's ears drooped a bit. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying, stop wishing something would happen and just make it happen."

The doors opened again. Cloudy looked focused, the Doctor looked a little sad.

"What is it?" I asked.

The Doctor sighed. "Just... getting ready."

I shook my head. "Never mind. I got this thing all hooked up like you said."

"Great! I'll finish that up." He whipped the power cell out of his pocket, along with the sonic screwdriver. While he worked, I went back to Cloudy.

"What was he talking to you about?" I asked, just barely a whisper.

"What's gonna happen to us," she said.

" 'Us' who?"

"Iggy and I. Complicated stuff. Hard stuff." She kicked her hoof.

"Oh. Can you tell me about it?"

She shook her head. "You'll find out. I don't want Iggy to hear."

I nodded. "Fine."

A light flashed out of the corner of my eye. It was accompanied by a soft beeping; a tiny pulsing warning that silenced all four of us. Only our chests seemed to move, rising and falling with ragged pants.

We didn't know what would happen. I thought we might die. Did the Doctor think I couldn't handle that? Did he think only Cloudy was privy to that information? I'd practically saved his life. God knows what would've happened if he'd just laid there in the street without my help.

A gentle hoof slipped over mine. "Hold on," whispered the familiar voice.

"What's going to happen?"

He looked at me funny. "Nothing."

I forced out a chuckle. "How can you say that? We're gonna be attacked! What's wrong with you?" I said this all in one breath.

The Doctor waved a hoof at our surroundings. "The TARDIS will keep us safe."

"HA!" Iggy shouted. "Yeah, right! I just walked up and opened this door! What's stopping them?"

"She's alive," The Doctor murmured. "Nothing gets in that she doesn't want."

As if to agree, a dial on the control panel lit up and spun around.

"See?"

I nodded. I wasn't really listening. I was watching Cloudy. She was reaching a hoof out to Iggy, slowly, like she didn't even want him to know.

I could hear it. Just outside. A ship was landing. It was pretty quiet, not as gut-wrenchingly horrifying as I'd expected. But it was there. And it was big.

The Doctor looked over at the scanner. "Oh, no..." He didn't sound serious, just sort of mildly annoyed.

"What?"

"Of course. Of course! Which law did I break this time, eh?" The Doctor stomped to the door, throwing it open the way a child storms to their room and locks themselves away. "I said, 'what'd I do wrong this time?' " he screamed at the ship.

I walked to the door, carefully observing over his shoulder. The ship was tall, skinny and cylindrical, not the flat discus type you see in comics. It had three legs like claws that bit the earth and held it upright. The Doctor looked like an ant as he lurched forward, leaving the TARDIS and marching triumphantly right up to the door.

"Wha--?" I almost ran to get him, but thought better of it. I pulled the door nearly shut, leaving only the smallest crack through which the three of us watched.

"What is he saying?" Cloudy asked.

"I think he's just knocking on the door for somepony to come out." Iggy frowned. Not the most heroic thing he'd seen, for sure.

A speaker popped and fizzed to life. "MO KO BLO SHO FO NO SO HO!" it shouted rhythmically.

"Uh..."

"What's that about?" I asked.

Cloudy shrugged. "Really, really underdeveloped alien language?"

"I guess. Kinda pathetic."

"Oh, come on!" The Doctor screamed back. This was followed by another barrage of words ending with 'oh.'

"This was meant to happen, though! Area 51, the Roswell incident! That's what this is, just... with more ponies." The Doctor retorted. The speakers screamed at him again.

"What's he talking about?" Iggy asked.

I shrugged. "No idea."

The speaker finished. The Doctor seemed to be silent.

"DO!" was the final word from the speakers. They shut off. The ship stayed. The Doctor turned, walking back to the TARDIS.

"Oh, Celestia..." Cloudy whispered. "He was right. Damnit, he was right!"

"Right about what?" Iggy asked, looking scared.

Cloudy grabbed his shoulders. "Listen to me. I'm really sorry, but it's for the best."

"Wh-what?!" Iggy struggled away. "What's happening?"

"Just... just listen to the Doctor. It'll be okay."

Iggy's eyes glistened. "I don't understand."

"It's okay." Cloudy smiled a bit. "I barely do."

The Doctor walked quietly past the three of us, lifting the device he had made from the console.

"That's not a disrupter, is it?" I asked.

The Doctor sighed. "Well, it is. Just not the kind I said. It's a memory disrupter."

Cloudy hung her head.

Iggy turned to her. "You knew about this?" He looked back to the Doctor. "Why?"

"Well, that takes some explaining," The Doctor said. "Look, where I'm from, there was an incident almost exactly like this. I assumed that this was a carbon copy of that incident, just a new universe. Even the date's the same."

"So... what happened?"

"That's just it. Nothing happened. You ponies don't know of the existence of aliens until April 21st, 2012."

"That's so far away..." Iggy murmured.

"Yeah, well, I got caught. That ship out there? Police of the universe. I broke the laws of time by exposing aliens."

"So?" I prodded him. "You break rules all the time. Why is it such a big deal?"

"Because... the last time I broke a big rule..." He looked distant. he didn't speak.

"Doctor?"

"Never mind. A story for another time." He shook his head. "It's okay. I just need to alter your--"

"Our memories?!" Iggy backed away.

Cloudy held him still. "Iggy! Iggy, it's alright!" She looked at the Doctor. "Now! Do it now!"

The Doctor held the device straight out in front of him and fired. The two ponies collapsed. I sniffed, wiping at my eyes. I had no idea how bad this would be, no idea how extreme the erasure was. Would they remember everything but today, or not much more than their names?

I heard the ship outside as its engines fired up and took off.

"We're going to a farm. It's the best cover story." The Doctor started flipping switches.

"Cover story?"

"Yeah. I wrote them a cover story. They'll always think they were farmers."

"T-together?"

"Married." The TARDIS stared to groan.

"Oh." I stared at the bodies of the two ponies. The Doctor was always right... he'd done this a thousand times... "What is wrong with you?!" I couldn't help it.

The Doctor hung his head.

"Well?!"

He took a few breaths that shook with held back tears. "There's nothing more I can do. This is it."

"What was it?" I demanded, fire still in my voice.

"What was what?" the Doctor snapped.

"The rule. The one you broke."

He sighed. "Help people. Don't be cruel or cowardly. Don't give up."

"Why are you giving up, then?"

The TARDIS landed. "Okay. We need to get them outside. Remember: they were in a pesticide accident. That's how they got knocked out."

"Yeah." I grabbed Iggy under the arms and hauled him towards the door. The Doctor did the same for Cloudy, laying both a safe distance from the TARDIS.

"Ohh..." Iggy was the first to come to.

"My god! Are you all right?" The Doctor feigned shock (not very well).

"Mph..." Cloudy was rubbing her forehead. "What happened?"

"You breathed in pesticide. There was somepony down here spraying for cockroaches, and he had a bad batch," I explained.

"Oh..." Cloudy looked confused. "I don't remember that."

The Doctor smiled. "It's alright. That's normal. Just rest up a bit before you get back to work."

"Okay... um, who are you?" Iggy asked.

"Oh, I'm Doctor... Clock. I was just sent down to make sure you were okay. Time for us to go." And he turned and left, me right on his heels. Something had been off about them, though. I couldn't put my hoof on it...

"It changed their cutie marks," The Doctor blurted as soon as we were far enough away. "They just have rocks and picks now."

"Huh. So it was a rock farm?" I guessed.

"Rock farm?" The Doctor stopped short. "How the hell is that supposed to work?"

I opened my mouth to answer that, but realized I didn't know the answer to that question. "I... I have no idea."

"Well, at least they both lost all that pink. That was embarrassing." He laughed.

"Eh, it's bound to turn up somewhere. You can't lose a pink that shade." I giggled.

The Doctor laughed with me. "So then, Rose. Where to next? Any ideas?"

"No." We had just reached the TARDIS and the Doctor pushed open the door.

"Wh-what do you mean?"

"Before any more trips, I need to understand: what happened when you broke your rule?" I pressed.

He sighed. "A lot. None of it good. Don't want to talk about it."

"Just... just a hint?" I begged.

He sat in the torn-up car seat. "We're all stories, you know? In the end, we're just talked about. If we're lucky, there's a face and good qualities that go with those stories. We're the good guys."

"I don't understand."

"Well, I always stick to that. I want to be the good guy. The man-- stallion who cleans up the universe's problems."

"And?"

"That day... that day, I was the bad guy." He stood. "Enough of that. Let's have another adventure."

A smile tugged at the corner of my mouth, but I knew I put the Doctor in a place he didn't want to be. A sad place. It wasn't a Doctor place.

I stretched up and gave him a peck on the cheek. "I'm sorry. Let's go."

He blushed, then grinned. "How's the distant future sound?"

S1E03: Chronology
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Doctor Whooves: Echo

S1E03: Chronology

"So, here's the thing about 'distant future' destinations..." The Doctor rubbed the back of his head absent-mindedly.

"What? What's the problem?"

"Well, for the past, I can rely on your knowledge of Equestrian history. The future, however..." He coughed. "I have absolutely no idea what we'll run into."

I smiled. "Sounds like fun!"

"That's the spirit!" He leapt at the control panel, barking orders as abstract as 'hold that one down.' I did my best to keep up with the rapid barrage of instruction, and it must've worked because the TARDIS landed without a hitch about a minute later.

The Doctor galloped to the door, then remembered I was here. "Oh. Right. Rose, would you like to--"

"No," I interrupted. "You go ahead. You seem so excited. Aren't you used to it by now?"

"Ha!" He grinned. "Why would I keep going if I was used to it? You never get used to it! It's like asking someone if they're not as curious about reading Sherlock Holmes just because they've read most of them."

"Uh.. Sherlock who?" I asked.

"Never mind." He gave the door a mighty shove and it swung open. The first step forward, however, turned out to be a step down.

He yelled, but had already lost his balance and tumbled out of sight.

"Doctor!" I ran to the threshold, watching as he rolled down the face of a cliff, landing on a on a convenient ledge a few meters below.

I knew it probably hurt, but I couldn't help giggling. It was like something right out of a cartoon. "You alright?"

He groaned. "Just... just get down here... and stop laughing!"

I had to hold my breath to get the chuckles to stop. "Sorry." I slid carefully down the rocky mountainside, eventually landing beside the Doctor. I looked back up at the TARDIS, seeing it parked at the very edge of a similar ledge above us. "Doesn't look like it'll be easy to get back in there..." I commented.

"Oh god..." The Doctor pushed himself up into a sitting position. "I used to be so much more careful."

"Looks like you've had enough adventure for a while." I laughed. "You're covered in dirt. You'll be black and blue within the hour!" I kept laughing.

The Doctor sighed, but smiled and took it. "So... where are we?"

I looked around this mountain wasn't the only one in sight. The two of us were surrounded by peaks. "Dunno. Is that a cloud?" It was indeed, floating by below us.

"Hey! Look up there!" The Doctor waved a hoof about frantically.

I followed his line of sight, spotting the silhouette of a winged creature against the grey sky. "Hey! Down here!" I screamed, bouncing about on the ledge. "Help us!"

The creature kept circling.

"Ooh! I've got it!" The Doctor pulled out his sonic screwdriver and pointed it straight up over his head "May want to cover your ears," he warned before pressing the button.

The screeching sound reverberated off the mountains, multiplying infinitely and finally catching the attention of the flying thing.

It was big. Really big, with a black beak and curved claws the size of scythes.

The Doctor was cleared shocked. Guess he didn't have griffons where he was from.

"More peace makers, huh?" it grumbled, flicking it's lion-like tail.

"Uh... yes?" The Doctor guessed.

Without another word, he grabbed us by the scruffs of our necks and lifted us into the air. I kicked and screamed, but he barely seemed to notice.

"Doctor?" I cried, "What do we do? What's going on?!"

He gave me a look filled with terror. "I think we're prisoners of war!"

~~~~~

"Hey!" I screamed. "Let me go! What the hell is wrong with you?"

The griffon's grip tightened. He remained silent.

The Doctor hung helplessly, still sore from his fall. "This must be ponies versus griffons," he guessed.

"Oh, you think?" I was furious. Nopony-- er, griffon-- treated me like this! "God! This is all your fault! 'Uh... yes?' You've probably never even seen a griffon!"

"Well, I- no, not exactly. Just ponies. Aren't magic ponies enough? Why does there need to be a million other species and problems?" He groaned. "And I ripped up my jacket again."

"Hey! You!" I gave the griffon a swift punch in the chest. He barely even blinked. "Where are we going?"

Silence.

The Doctor laughed derogatorily. "Oh! Brilliant! Just ask, he's sure to answer!" He seemed to see something to his left but I couldn't see around his head. "Oh."

"What? Your fat head's in the way."

"I'd imagine that's where we're headed."

The griffon wheeled to the left, and our destination was revealed.

An elegantly natural-looking castle jutted out from the side of a mountain. It almost appeared as though the many twisting spires had been carved from the rock itself.

"Do you know what that is?" The Doctor asked.

"I think it's the Griffon Kingdom Palace. I saw pictures when I was a filly in scool, but..." I whistled at the size and granduer of the palace.

"Well, remember: it's been... a while since you saw those photographs. Any number of things may have changed in all that time."

I grimaced. "I had always wanted to see it. Not like this!" I screamed, being sure our captor heard every word. If I was going to be hauled around like shopping, I may as well voice my opinion.

The Doctor chuckled dryly. "I'll take you sometime. You can see it when it's less war-like." His torn-up jacket flapped in the breeze, making an odd sound I hadn't heard a fabric make before.

"What's that thing made of, anyway?"

"Leather. What's it look like?"

"What's leather?" I asked.

The Doctor looked at me like I had sprouted wings, then seemed to crumple. "Oh..." He muttered something about similar species, then grew silent.

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever."

The griffon came in close to the small promontory below the castle door, tossing us down to the rock like cast-away luggage.

"Oi!" I yelled. "Don't treat us like this, we're... honored guests!" I don't know why I said that. I guess I figured he wouldn't know the difference.

"No pony is an honored guest here," he spat back, pounding on the door. It was made of wood, set right into the stone and covered with complex carvings of military valor.

After several determined knocks, a second griffon appeared, this one female. She sighed, almost sad, and motioned for us to be brought in.

The male gave us a shove from behind.

"Hey!" I hissed.

"Go away, Fletcher," the female ordered. She must have been rather old, judging by the rattle in her voice.

The male obliged, pushing past her and heading into the dark and winding tunnels in the castle.

The griffon led us through a maze of passages, her lion tail dragging limply behind her. Her normally white feathers were dyed with purple adornments to set her apart from other griffons.

After a few minutes of what seemed to be aimless wandering about, we came to a row of cages: metal bars drilled into the rock.

"Please, just go inside without a fuss," the griffon said, unlocking the door. "You'll be allowed in together if you're good."

"You don't sound like you want to be doing this," The Doctor commented, wandering right into the cage and pulling me along right behind him.

"I don't," she snapped, slamming the door shut again. She made herself comfortable in a seat across the way, burying her beak in a dry-looking book.

"Why?" I asked.

She sighed again, still sad. "It's a long story."

"We're not going anywhere." He sat down, looking to the griffon to begin. "Start with your name. We'll give you ours, too."

"It's Gilda. Gilda Greycloud."

"I'm the Doctors. This is Roseluck."

"Hello..." I murmured awkwardly.

"You married?" Gilda asked innocently, barely looking up from her book.

"Uh... no," I replied.

"Not... not seeing that happening any time soon..." the Doctor added.

"Why are you together, then?"

"That's... that's another long story," the Doctor told her.

"Fine. Look, ever since I was a chick, I've been friends with ponies. It was a natural thing no one thought was even the slightest bit wrong. The two species used to be so similar..."

"They're not now?" I asked. How far in the future was this?

"Of course not. Anyway, I seemed to click more with ponies from a young age, and even spent summers at a pony flight camp. Those were great summers..." She smiled to herself. "I had this one really close friend. I came to visit her hometown once, long time ago... I did some things I regret." Her smile disappeared. "I had to leave. I had to be a griffon instead of a pony. But--"

"But they didn't accept you," The Doctor inferred. "Then, how did you get where you are?"

"The only way they would bring me back was to take an oath of military allegiance. Right now, the allegiance is against ponies."

"I see. No choice, then. Well, don't beat yourself up, it's where you belong." I know the Doctor meant well, but he was still a bit off from his crash-landing.

I elbowed him, leading him to the back of the cell. "Stop it. You can't help her."

"What? Why not?"

"Because. She's lost the magic."

"I'm sorry-- what?" The Doctor looked nearly ready to double over laughing.

"It's not funny!She's got no family, no friends, no reason to be happy!"

The Doctor choked down his laughter. "Sure she does! Lots of things can make you happy!"

"No! Ugh, I can't believe this. You act so clever, but you're just so... so thick!" I slapped my forehead. "Doctor, friendship is magic!"

The Doctor couldn't hold back anymore. He laughed uncontrollably. "I can't help it! Who designed this world, a six year old girl? Oh!"

"What?!" I hissed.

"Oh!" A look of realization crossed his face. "Friendship... is magic! Releases endorphins, stops you from getting stressed or depressed! Like a drug! Fascinating..."

I sighed. "Yes. So glad you understand. Now apologize to that poor griffon!"

"Ooh..." The Doctor turned back to look at Gilda. "Uh... what should I say?"

"Nothing. Just pretend to take a nap or something. I'll explain."

I could see he was about to protest, but I covered his mouth with my hoof. "Doctor, you need to trust me."

He closed his mouth and nodded sternly. He then laid down on the cold floor, facing away from the bars.

I sighed deeply, preparing for the confrontation. "Gilda,' I began. She put her book down

Then I realized something. "Gilda, where are all the prisoners?"

~~~~~

As I was told, something was occurring in the throne room at this very moment. This is how I imagine it playing out:

A heavily scarred griffon sat in an ornately carved stone chair, one that seemed to create a wreath of feathers behind him. Shadows hid the kings face as he relaxed, listening to the quick chattering of a second griffon.

"And, you see, the paradoxes created... well, we've already lost over a quarter of our army, sir..." he whined, wringing his shaking claws to keep busy.

The king seemed to sink deeper into his chair, his claws throwing sparks as they slid against the stone. "Listen, peon," he spat, 'What would you call this little... event we find ourselves in the middle of?"

"A... a war, sir?"

"A war. That's right. What do you know about wars, hm?"

"Uh..." He gulped.

"How do they start?"

"C-conflict?"

"How do they... end?" He drummed his claws on the arm of the chair. "How?"

"I--"

"Let's try this another way. How do we create laws? What do we do?"

"Um... think of an idea... and agree on it?"

"Unamimously?"

"Oh, no. Hardly ever." He shook his head.

"Then why should the killing in a war be unamimous?"

He swallowed hard again, his voice shaking. "So... so we can win?"

"Do we have to make it through without csualties to win?"

"I suppose not..." He ran a shaking claw through the feathers on his head. "But this is different... you're causing this, sir."

The king prickled at this statement. "What?" he growled.

"I-I-I said we're--"

"You said I'm causing this." He clenched his fist, showering more sparks and drawing gashes in the stone.

"Well--"

"Am I the only member of the kingdom? Of Elkanism?" He was slowly sitting forward, a sharp black beak poking out of the shadows.

"B-but you're the leader, sir!" the griffon shouted.

The king froze. "I see. Yes, I see," the beak said.

"Y-you do?"

He took a deep breath, as though preparing to give a speech, but instead released an ear-piercing screecheed.

The other griffon's face fell, fright glazing his eyes. He turned, frantically skittering across the stone, trying to escape whatever he thought was coming for him.

After only a few strides, he was gone.

He was being taken to the Chronobomb.

~~~~~

Gilda could not tell us about where the prisoners had gone. She told us to just go to sleep and that she might explain in the morning.

The Doctor took off his jacket, rolling it up and placing it on the floor for us to use as a pillow.

We laid with our backs against each other. The stone made me shiver, the leather squeaking and crackling under my ear.

"You alright?" the Doctor whispered.

"Eh... could be better..." I replied, curling into a tighter ball.

"Cold?"

"Mph." I nodded. "Yeah."

"Come here."

"Excuse me?"

"Just come closer. I'm plenty warm."

"Uh..." I rolled over to face him.

He was holding his forelegs wide open for a hug. "It's okay. Just give me a hug. It'll warm you up, I promise."

"This is awkward."

"Oh, Rose. It's just a hug." He smiled. "Come on. Everyone like hugs."

I slid closer. He wrapped his forelegs around me. "Oh!"

"Told you."

"How are you so warm?"

"Two hearts, remember? Where do you think all that energy goes? Especially when I'm just sitting here." He let go. "See? Just a hug."

I blushed. "Thanks."

"No problem. Think you can get to sleep?" he asked.

"No. Maybe. I don't know."

"It's alright. I never sleep. Well, almost never. I'll stay up with you." He changed his position, laying on his stomach instead.

"So, what do you think is going on?" I asked.

"Not sure yet. But it's got something to do with the missing prisoners, I'm sure of that."

"Where do you think they are?"

He sighed, pondering the question. "No idea. Could be anywhere. But if they were just dying, that wouldn't be any secret to keep. Wherever they are, they must be alive."

"Huh. Yeah, I guess you're right." He made a lot of sense, always thinking about things from every perspective. He was like the cleverest thing alive.

"I know I am." Also one of the most arrogant. "I'll give it some more thought. You really should try to sleep."

I groaned, rolling back onto my side. "You sound like my mum."

"Sorry. But it's true." He gave me a sympathetic smile. "At least close your eyes. Who knows what'll happen tomorrow..."

I groaned again. "Fine." I let my eyes drift shut. It only took me a few minutes to fall asleep.

~~~~~

"Rose... Rose, wake up!" the Doctor shook me.

I stood immediately. "What?"

"It's them again, Rose!" He started to run, but seemed to bump into an invisible wall. He ran back toward me, but was stopped again. "Rose!"

I was fine, though. Nothing was wrong. The world was an empty grey-white. It was very calm, with this low buzz in the background that seemed to be lulling me to sleep.

I was staring out at the plane of grey, not a single speck of color disrupting the haze.

Then, out from the wall popped two green antennae. Two eyes opened, milky white with barely any distinction or separation from the rest of the face.

It started walking toward me, but didn't get any closer. I tried to back away, but the dinosaur-like creature's very gaze was holding me in place.

I watched in disgusted horror as his jaw melted open, revealing a twisted grin that hung open at an unnatural angle.

Without moving the jaw, words began to pour out of it. "MO KO BLO SHO FO NO SO HO!"

I screamed. The Doctor yelled my name. The world dissolved, leaving only sound.

I felt the cold once more, but this time there were small, gentle beams of sunlight on my face.

The Doctor had a hoof on my shoulder. "It's okay. It's fine."

I didn't think. I just grabbed him and hugged him tight.

"You're alright..." he soothed.

I couldn't even reply. I couldn't even cry. I just hugged him as tight as I could.

"I think I found out what happened to the prisoners." He whispered.

I pulled away, looking him in the eyes.

He nodded. "It's not good."

~~~~~

"It all has to do with this device they've created," he explained. He dug through his coat, searching for the sonic screwdriver. "They call it the Chronobomb.

"Chronobomb? What does that mean?" I asked, standing by in case a guard appeared.

"It's something entirely new. Setting it off causes anyone nearby to be sent back in time." Hew found it, using it quickly to open the door.

"That doesn't make sense," I whispered. "Why go to all the trouble?"

"Don't know yet. Let's get somewhere safe and figure it out." He stopped. "Oh."

We faced a selection of five tunnels, all the same.

"Um... any chance you remember the way out?" He turned, giving me a sheepish grin.

"No! Of course not!"

"Oh, dear..."

I heard the clicking steps of a guard drawing near. "Just-- the middle one! We have to go!" I whispered fiercely.

"Great! Go!" He galloped for the tunnel, me right behind him. "Right!"

I followed. We just kept running, making random choices, until we came to what seemed to be a wine cellar. Empty barrels were stacked by the door, seeping the scent of alcohol.

"Get inside!" He shoved me toward one. "I'll put the lid on. Go!"

I obeyed, climbing in and hearing the lid being set into place. The barrel was rather large, and I could actually sit comfortably inside.

I stayed this way for a while, maybe half an hour, my heart pounding in my throat. Then the soldiers came.

The first was a girl. "Wish they'd give us higher-quality mead," she complained. "This stuff disappears in a heartbeat because it's so weak!"

"Only the king gets pure mead," a second voice said, this one male. "We get the watered-down version."

"Ugh. Why? We fight so hard and this is what we get? One part mead, nine parts water?" The voice drew nearer and nearer, and two sets of claws grabbed the top of the barrel I was in.

"No. We get 'religious atonement and forgiveness of possible past sins against the Great Cleansers,' " the male mocked.

'Great Cleansers?' What religion was this?

"Yeah. Great." The barrel was thrown on it's side, unexpectedly fast and harsh. I had to stick my hoof in my mouth to keep from crying out. I was going to be covered in bruises by the time this was over.

"Come on! It's not too bad a gig, really! We get separation from Celestia, too."

I heard another barrel thrown down beside me. The Doctor made a small pained noise.

"You hear that?" the male asked.

I held my breath.

"What? The sound of your own voice?" The female sniggered. "You're losing your mind, Geoff."

"Naw, I heard something..."

"Would you stop?" My barrel rolled a few strides. "Just move the damn barrels to the mess hall. I'm thirsty."

"You don't get drunk 'cause you're thirsty, idiot," Geoff commented.

"It's an idiom, Geoff. Stop making yourself look dumb."

He groaned. "I hate this. I never have to do this. I can always get out of it with the guys."

"Too much walking?"

"No... I don't like being so far underground. I feel trapped, you know?"

"Please stop whining! We're so close, just shut your beak and move!"

As if on cue, I started to smell clean, crisp, fresh air that had seeped in through a hole in the barrel. It made a wonderful change form the dank stench of the tunnels. This mess hall must have been exposed to outside air.

Then another feeling washed over me. They thought our weight was that of the mead. They were going to pop open these barrels in a room full of hungry, drunk griffon soldiers!

I could now hear the chatting f the soldiers as they ate, as well as their sloppy chewing and disgusting belches. The sounds grew and then promptly faded as we were moved to what I guessed to be a kitchen. Our barrels were placed upright, and I watched in horror as the flat end of a crowbar was wedged under the lid.

A griffon with an oily mustache stared down at me for several long seconds before trying to say something. I punched him right in the beak before he could make a sound. He tripped backwards, landing heavily on his tailbone.

I could hear the Doctor trying to break himself out of his own barrel as I tried to haul myself out of mine.

As I struggled, the barrel tipped over, rolling a good distance before hitting a wall.

The griffon got up. He was too confused to comprehend our position, and could barely even talk.

"Move!" I yelled as the Doctor finally broke through. We both galloped for the window.

"Help!" the griffon finally managed to get out. "Escaped prisoners!"

I honestly can't believe I'm telling you I did this, but I actually leapt out the window and slid down the mountainside on all four hooves.

The griffon kept yelling. We were going to have a few chasing us soon. Had to hurry.

I really couldn't stop screaming. It wasn't entirely from terror, like it should have been. It was actually kind of fun.

Until I hit a rock. My hoof got caught some how and I was thrown forward. I landed on my shoulder, my graceful glide becoming a painful tumble full of rocks and dirt. Finally, I hit a solid, flat surface with a rather unattractive sound of exhaustion.

Only a moment later, I heard the Doctor's voice approaching. He was grunting, too. No doubt he'd lost his hoofing on the way down.

I tried and failed to stand and get out of his way, and was once again hit very hard in the side.

The Doctor was almost immediately back up on his hooves. "Well. That was... painful.

I was panting hard, trying to find a stable place to stand up. "Maybe so, but we got out. Back to the TARDIS?" I suggested.

"No, no!" The Doctor blocked me from moving forward. "We can't leave yet!"

"Doctor, there is literally a whole army of griffons up there. I didn't cover myself in bruises so we could climb back up!"

"This bit was your idea!"

"You could've stopped me!" I took a seat.

"Plus, I never said we were climbing anywhere."

He took a deep breath.

"Oh, no."

"Rose! How dare you get us lost! That was such a cunning and daring escape plan!" he yelled robotically.

I put my hoof to my forhead. "I will kill you for this.

"It's okay. I have a plan," he whispered.

"You do?"

He nodded. I could already see the griffons pouring out of the mess hall.

"Well, what is it?"

"Okay, here it is: while they're carrying us to our deaths, I'll think of a better plan."

~~~~~

Word moves fast in the Griffon Palace. News had already reached King Elkas that two prisoners had escaped. He was not amused.

More importantly, he knew that we'd gotten out on Gilda's watch. Up until now, Gilda had escaped punishment of all kinds for reasons yet unknown to me. For whatever reason, Gilda was special to the King, and he would let her get away with almost anything.

The point is, Gilda was about to be punished unfairly and it was our fault.

Of course, since we had already been captured, the Chronobmb had already been prepared. It served no great loss to simply toss Gilda in with the two of and send us all back in time.

One more thing I learned from our captors: apparently, King Elkas can't bear to get his fat arse out of his throne for anything.

"Okay," the Doctor had been talking for about a minute out loud, but this time he seemed to be addressing me. "About twenty years in the future, magic bomb that sends ponies back in time. How is that possible?"

I shrugged.

"Okay, okay. It is possible, I suppose. Not important. Why use something like that? What's the gain?"

I shrugged again.

"Think. Come on, think. What's the outcome of irreversible time travel? Erm... potential energy? No, no. That has less uses than the bomb itself. What about paradoxes? But... what do you get from a paradox?" He looked to me.

"How the hell should I know?"

"Well, say something at least!" he said desperately.

"I don't know... you?"

"That's silly. I'm not the paradox police." He frowned.

"You said to say something!"

"Well, something a bit more useful than that!"

"I don't bloody well know!"

"Oh!" His face suddenly lit up.

I looked hopeful. I knew that face. He'd figured something out.

His face fell again. "No, I don't know."

I hung limply from the griffon's talons. "That's just... just great. I can't believe this. You're such a bucking idiot."

"Oi! Language!" the Doctor scolded me. "I think that was a curse..."

"Can't believe this. They couldn't care less who we are, you know? They just captured us 'cos we're ponies. That's all. It's Nazi Germaney all over again."

"How did you..."

"I listened, Doctor. The griffons wanted freedom from Princess Celestia," I explained.

"But... why?"

"Because she's a pony and they aren't. It's called the 'Everypony Clause.' "

He was pretty quiet. "And... what's that, then?"

"It means that species who aren't ponies don't believe they should be under the rule of the Princess. They think they deserve their own leader. The first step is usually a small group banning the use of 'everypony.' "

"Oh."

"Yeah. See that? You don't have to be all spacey to be clever."

"So... is this religious at all?"

"Oh, yeah. Ponies worship the Princesses. They change day into night and vice versa. Pegasi control the weather, and we've got magic on our side. We don't need to make up explanations for things we control."

"Then groups who separate practice a different religion?" The Doctor was firing questions faster and faster. He was on to something.

"They'd have to."

"That's it! Rose, I figured it out! All of it!" The griffons set us down at the entrance to the throne room. The Doctor ran to me, grabbing me by the shoulders. "We can fix this. I know we can!"

"How?"

He grinned. "Time."

"Bring them in," a gruff voice called. It was the voice of the King.

The Doctor marched right in, bowing deeply to the shadowing figure. "Hello, your Highness! Hope you don't mind me complimenting your lovely doors."

The King stuttered a bit. "Doors?"

"Oh, you know. The doors you've got all over the place. The nice wooden ones with the carvings."

"They're... antiques," he told the Doctor, still deeply confused but willing to play along.

"Yes, I'd guessed that. The bloody victories ones are nice, but I've gotta say-- this one--" he pointed to the one he had just stepped through "-- has got to be my favorite."

"Is that so?"

"You bet. I can tell you're wondering why."

"No," he replied grumpily, "I wasn't."

"Oh. Well, I'll tell you anyway." He galloped over to the door. "You see this thing? This one here."

"Yes."

I looked where he was pointing. There was an odd looking bat-like creature there, hovering over a terrified pony.

"I know what that is."

The King stiffened.

"Thought that would scare you. This door is your religious door, right?"

No answer.

"Of course I'm right. I'm me. I'm always right. Now Kingy, if I know what this is--" he pointed again "-- and I know that this is your religious door, then you know that I know that you know exactly what you're doing with that bomb."

The king shifted uncomfortably.

"Um... what?" A guard asked. "That was very confusing."

"Yes, it's all very clever and very confusing so that not one of you would be able to figure it out. So listen: your King is plotting to kill you all!"

Silence.

"Don't believe me? Should I tell you what that thing is?"

Silence.

"It's called a Reaper. Whenever someone messes up bad enough to create a paradox, they come down to clean up the mess." He turned to me. "The paradox police."

I smiled.

"And they way they do that by erasing things from history until it goes away. It really is the worst way to die," he added in a whisper. "Now, your King believes--" he trotted cockily up to the throne "--that when he finally gets these things to appear on his doorstep, he can just sort of take control. And he's going to rebuild the universe. Literally."

"But that's impossible!" I joined in, coming to stand next to the Doctor. "Why would all-powerful creatures spare you just like that?"

"They wouldn't."

"And-- wait, why aren't they here just yet?" I added.

He chuckled. "That's the best bit. You can't create a paradox unless the poor soul lives to see the time they were alive. And that hasn't happened yet because the bomb's just an experiment."

"It's more than that, Doctor." Another griffon had appeared at the door, one with a familiar and almost comforting voice. "It was an accident."

He grinned smugly. "You want to tell the rest, Gilda?"

She stepped forward. "I created the Chronobomb. They had me guarding the weapons wing of a scientific institute not far from here. I had to lend a claw, sometimes, when staff was short."

"Go on," The Doctor encouraged.

"Well, it was a clumsy mistake that yielded amazing results: a black hole, but tiny and contained."

"And the King decided he could use that to fulfill his little fantasy," I finished.

The three of us stood defiantly before the King.

"Ha," was all the Doctor had to say.

"Gotcha," Gilda added.

The King seemed to be tensing, still hidden in the shadows.

Then I figured out the last piece of the puzzle. All of a sudden, everything else clicked. "Bet you're all wondering why he has to re-create the universe," I teased. "I'll give you a hint. Your King isn't a griffon. He isn't a pony, either."

I reached over, grabbing the sonic from the Doctor's pocket, and shined it right at the King.

"He's a hybrid."

I couldn't have been more right. The only griffon-y bits of him were the beaks, wings and talons. The rest was a dark blue earth pony stallion, much like any other.

"Anything you want to say before your Kingdom comes crashing down?" Gilda asked.

Elkas was still tense, but he started to smirk. "Guards, take them to the Chronobomb and I'll be sure you live."

Unfortunately, the guards didn't have a very strong moral compass. Even though their King had turned out to be a fake, the premise of life was too good to give up, and we were soon held fast by two guards each.

I struggled against their grip, but there was no getting out of this one. "Well, we put on a good show," I said.

"At least we'll be alive whenever we land," Gilda reminded us.

"Ha!" The Doctor shouted. Then he lowered his voice, "Think that was a good show? Wait until you see the grand finale."

The griffons pushed us toward an unassuming section of wall to our right. One guard stepped forward, feeling about with the tip of his claws in several cracks. After checking a few, his claw slid deeper into the wall. It slid in neatly, and he turned it, causing a grinding sound to come from behind it. The wall slid slowly back and to the right.

Beyond was a set-up familiar to me as a fan of crime shows: a room with chairs, controls and microphones facing a glass pane tinted dark blue. I could not tell what was in the next room because of the color.

The Doctor leaned in towards me. "It's cobalt glass. Allows viewers to see the reaction in the chamber."

I nodded. I was too scared to ask questions. The Doctor, so far, had managed to come up with all kinds of cunning escape plans. I was sure he could pull us out, but... how long would he wait?

"Cutting it kinda close?" I muttered.

"Just trust me." He smiled warmly, adding a wink.

The griffons unlocked the heavy metal door, shoving us roughly inside.

The bomb was so tiny, about the size of tennis ball. It had a great number of hexagonal sides, so it appeared to be covered in teal scales.

I was jarred from my thoughts as the metal door was slammed shut and locked. The Doctor watched carefully as the griffons made themselves comfortable.

"Okay. You two ready for this?" He pulled out his sonic screwdriver.

"What's that thing?" Gilda asked.

"This thing is the thing that's going to save our lives. Not to mention all the ponies who were sent back."

I grinned confidently.

"Alright," he commanded, "when I say, you two need to cover your eyes. Otherwise, the bomb could blind you. Gosh, I hope this room's big enough..."

"For what?" I asked.

"Depends... better stand back."

"Depends on what?" Gilda demanded. The bomb was starting to hum, and it was making her hysterical.

The Doctor pointed the sonic at the bomb. "How many ponies were sent back in time. Now!"

We shaded our eyes, ducking away from the bomb and behind the Doctor.There was this strange sound, like thousands of voices whispering in reverse, and then it was over.

"Ha! Reverse the polarity!" He planted a kiss on the tip of the sonic. "Guess who's back?" he shouted triumphantly. We turned, gaping at the room full of confused but happy ponies.

"How--?" I tried to ask.

"Another thing the sonic is handy for: switching things about." He tossed it up into the air, catching it expertly and sticking it back in his pocket. "Little advice: always search the pockets!" He called to the terrified griffons in the control room.

Our space was packed with ponies, but one pumped her grey hoof in the air.

"Long live the Princess!" she screamed, jumping at the glass and pounding on it.

Others followed the pegasus' lead, and it soon shattered, showering the griffons in blue.

"Long live the Princess!" they chanted, "Long live the Princess!"

~~~~~

Gilda was smiling. Actually smiling. I think it had been a long time since she had smiled. "You two did me more good than you can know."

"Don't mention it, "The Doctor replied, "It's what we do."

She chuckled. "Pretty amazing life."

"Well... if you wanted... you could come with us." I proded the Doctor. "Couldn't she?"

"No. No, it's time I learned my lesson," Gilda said, "I can be with whoever I want now, can't I?"

"You could've before. Just needed an extra push. And maybe a little adventure," he added in a whisper.

"You've got spirit, Gilda." I gave her a playful punch in the shoulder. "Time to go show it to somepony."

She smiled, wrinkles appearing at the corners of her eyes. "You're right. In that case... do you think you could do me one more favor?"

"Depends," the Doctor said," on where you want to go."

"It's a time machine, right?" Gilda asked. "I want you to take me back to 2010. I have an apology to make."

We led Gilda to the TARDIS, but she barely even blinked at the size and colors. She snagged a sheet of paper of the console, quickly but carefully writing a letter.

The Doctor started the engines. "Ponyville, then?"

Gilda nodded, still writing feverishly.

As soon as the engines faded, Gilda ran to the door, opening it slowly. "No sign of me. I'll be back."

That left the Doctor and me. "So, what do you think?"

"Of what?" he asked.

"Equestria."

"Well... it's more than I bargained for."

"I know." I smirked. "I could kinda tell."

"It's surprising."

"Yeah. I know that, on the surface, we look strange to you."

"Well, where I'm from, people are a lot more judgmental. They only see the surface. It was hard for me to realise that..." he trailed off.

"That what?"

"That outside doesn't matter here. It's an amazing and wonderful place, Equestria. It's better. And I think I'm better for being here." He sighed. "I sort of wish I could stay..."

"But you have to leave. Someday. I know. But, please... try not to make it soon."

He smiled. "Okay."

The door creaked open again. "I'm back. Ready to go."

"What was in that note?" I asked.

"Everything. The sort version." SHe winked. "Last stop, I swear: twenty years forward?"

The Doctor nodded. "Your wish is my command!"

"I never asked-- who was it that... you know..."

"Rainbow Dash. "She looked me in the eyes and smiled knowingly.

"Oh my god..." I realized all at once who she was. That face was suddenly like that of an old friend. "I remember you!"

"Recognized you right away. Sorry I didn't say anything, but... you know, time streams and stuff. It's the one thing you learn with the Chronobomb."

The TARDIS landed. Gilda wandered slowly to the door. "See you around?"

"Yeah. Maybe." I waved.

SHe waved back.

"You knew her?" The Doctor asked when she was gone.

"Yeah. I was at her welcome party." I chuckled. "She was a huge bully. Hit me with a cake."

The Doctor looked surprised. "Well. Takes all kinds, I suppose. Ready to go?"

I watched the door a bit longer before turning to the Doctor.

"Quick pit stop first."

"Where?"

"Home."

S1E01: Unusual Punishment*
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Doctor Whooves: Echo

S1E01: Unusual Punishment*

There is no good way to start this story. Quite honestly, I'm not even sure I understand most of it. I just know that a madman explained it to me, which makes me question it's occurrence at all.

But it did happen. I have to keep telling myself that. And I suppose it all started with a crash landing. All in all, not the most heroic of beginnings.

~~~~~

I work in a shop. Just this tiny flower shop tucked between two much larger buildings. It's almost invisible, much like I was at that time. Not that I wanted to be noticed. I had moved to Ponyville from Hoofdon only a month before, and my accent could cause ponies to stare.

That day I was arranging flowers, waiting for the tiny bell above the door to tinkle as somepony came in. Hours passed, and not a soul did much more than glance at the window.

Except one. Late in the day, a single stallion pressed his nose up against the glass. He moved with quick strides and only stopped to stare through the flowers at me.

I gave a small wave, which he didn't bother to return. He pushed the door open, ducking past me and sitting among the flowers.

"Y-you alright, mate?" I murmured, not wanting to approach him.

He made a sound deep in his throat, sort of like a growl but soft and gurgling.

"O... kay..." I took a step back. Now that I looked at him, he wasn't exactly a pony. His neck and snout seemed a touch long, and his eyes were oddly matte and small. "I'm just stepping out, alright? Be back in a bit."

No response.

"Yeah..." I whispered, backing out the door and locking it swiftly. I turned, trotting purposefully down the street towards the police station. I was going to report this to the authorities and then go about some shopping as though he hadn't appeared.

But that wasn't going to happen today. For whatever reason, fate had decided that I was done with normal not only for today but the rest of my life. And maybe that was good. But it sure didn't seem like it.

It was the single loudest sound I had ever heard. It was like a bomb had fallen and gone off less than two feet away (which it nearly had). I jumped, stumbling backwards and into the street and staring at the odd object that had nearly killed me.

It was blue. Very blue. And that was really all that could compute before somepony came tumbling out of it. He rolled across the ground, laying with his eyes closed right in front of me. He had barely any hair and a light-grey coat, along with a strange piece of clothing that was smoking and torn to shreds. It looked a bit like a coat, but there was so little left that I couldn't really tell.

I jumped up, running to his side and shaking his shoulder. "A-are you dead?" was all I could think to say.

The stallion groaned. "Not quite yet, dear--" his eyes lolled opened and he shrieked.

"What? What is it? What?" I asked, checking myself over.

"What... are you?" he murmured, disgusted.

My jaw moved but no words came out. I wasn't sure, really, whether I should run and hide or help him out.

"I'm sorry, that was... that was incredibly rude. Of course, if you'd be kind enough to help me up...?" he looked up at me, rather pathetically.

I rolled my eyes, deciding that this stallion was most likely not a threat. I grabbed his front hooves and pulled him upright, where he remained for only a moment before pushing himself up onto his hind legs. His knees wobbled and he collapsed onto all fours. "Oh, I should've known..." he muttered, staring at his hooves.

"Um..." I watched him check himself over, feeling his various appendages and making odd comments.

He finally managed to twist his head around to face his flank, and chuckled at the sight of his cutie mark. "Now that-- that is interesting. What... what is that?" he swayed his hindquarters about. "It's like a tattoo, but... the color's in the fur... that's fascinating, really!" he looked over at me. "Oh, you've got one, too!"

I finally found my voice. "Of course I do! And so does everypony else over the age of six!"

The stallion stared at me, shocked, then started laughing again. "'Everypony?' So you're all ponies, then, eh?"

"I'm leaving now," I said simply, turning and booking it down the street.

"No, no! Wait!" I heard his hooves scrambling and then a dull thud as he hit the ground. "Ohhh..." he moaned.

I stopped, but didn't look back at him. "Why?"

"'Why' what?" he repeated, trying to get himself off the ground.

"Why should I trust you? I don't know you. I just know that you're amnesiac or--or mad, or something," I insisted, still looking away.

"Because if someone doesn't help me right now, I'll probably be run over," he admitted.

I finally turned to face him, trying not to giggle at the sight of a full-grown stallion laying belly-up in the middle of the street. "And why would I help you?"

"Because I know that under your cynical exterior there beats a heart that doesn't wish to see a carcass in the road," he muttered through clenched teeth, wiggling his limbs about uselessly.

I must admit, I grinned a bit when he said this.

"Oh, for God's sake, I'm not crazy, just help me."

I trotted to him, pulling him up once again and wiping the dirt off his chest. "Now, would you mind giving me a name?"

"It 'Doctor.' Just 'Doctor,' thank you," he told me, taking two precocious steps towards the sidewalk.

"Where are you from?" I asked. "Your accent's like mine, so not around here, I guess?"

"Well, to you I'm an alien, but for now we should just say we're neighbors. That's much simpler, eh? Plus, it isn't really a lie, just not what most people expect. Less neighboring houses, more like neighboring dimensions," he rambled.

"Erm... sure," I agreed. He was definitely not right in the head. "What, uh, what dimension are you from, then?"

"One where the horses can't talk, that's for sure. Well, most of them can't..." he continued to mutter to himself. "Now, if you could get me back to my box I'll be on my way."

"What, you mean that thing?" I pointed to the blue box laying on its side in the alley.

"Yes, that thing," he grumbled. "Just... just lead me over there and I'll be fine."

"Okay..." I hooked his leg around my shoulders and started off toward the box. He tripped along beside me, trying to find a rhythm that suited him.

"How do you do it? Front left, back right, front right, back left?" he asked, staring at his hooves as we shuffled along. We were only a few yards away, but he was like a dead weight.

"I suppose. I honestly never gave it much thought." I was getting close to shoving him towards the box and just leaving him there.

"Really? Hm, I guess you're right. I mean, where I'm from I only have two legs! But then, it's sort of obvious--"

"Yeah, alright," I cut him off, dragging him the last few steps and letting him lean against the box.

"Oh. Uh, thanks." He looked at the box as though looking for wounds. "That's all I needed. You can go. But before you do-- I never did catch your name."

"I don't believe I threw it," I replied sarcastically. "It's Rose. Roseluck."

The stallion ducked his head and squinted hard, as though he was getting a headache. He stayed this way a moment, making a small sound of pain before returning to normal. "Nice."

"You okay?"

"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

I shrugged.

"Well, you just be on your way. I've got to figure out how to get back inside..." He clambered up on top of the box and started pounding on it, shouting what seemed like wake-up calls.

That was enough for me. I continued down the street, making my hasty way toward the police station. I was never sure, but I thought I heard the far-off sound of grinding engines a few minutes later.

~~~~~

"Look here, miss..."

"Roseluck.

"Miss Rose." The officer's glasses slid down his nose once more, and he pushed them up with a sniff. "We don't have anything on a guy with scars. What did you say his cutie mark was?"

"He-- he didn't have one." I stuttered, just now realizing how mad I probably sounded.

The officer peered at me over his glasses, his eyebrows arching so high they might've come off his head. "I've heard enough."

"But--"

"Go home, Miss Roseluck. Better yet, go back to work. If he's still there, be sure to put him on the phone." He flashed a cheesy grin, crumpling up the paper he had been filling out and tossing it in the bin.

I grimaced. "I'm not leaving until you come look. He's dangerous or--or mad or both!"

"Well, better grab yourself a newspaper and make yourself comfy on that bench there." He gestured to a wooden seat full of angry-looking crooks. "Hope you're okay with eating donuts for the rest of your life." He showed his teeth again and left the desk.

I smacked my forehead on the marble surface. Why did I think anypony would believe me, anyway? I just sounded daft.

"Hey." I felt somepony prod me on the shoulder. "Hey. I believe you."

"Hm?" I lifted my head off the desk, looking into a set of very wide, green eyes. "What do you want?"

"I believe you. I saw the same guy in my shop." The mare stuck out a hoof to be bumped. "Lily Valley."

I barely tapped her hoof. "Roseluck."

"I was just about to report the same thing. This kooky stallion came and smeared his face all over my front window, then came in and sat in the middle of the flowers like nopony else was even lookin' at him," she explained. Her accent was distinctly Fillydelphian. "Figured he was prob'ly on the run or somethin' like that."

I gave her a weird look. She returned it. "I don't understand. What do you want me to do?"

"I want to come back to your store. I figure if two of us look around we're bound to find somethin' worthwhile." She grinned practically the same grin the officer had give.

"No. I've had enough crazy for a lifetime in the past hour alone. I'm not going to go sticking my snout where it doesn't belong." I pushed past her. "Nice meeting you."

"Hey, if you don't go out on a limb, you'll never get the fruit." She thought about that for a moment. "That doesn't fit the situation as well as I thought it did..."

"Goodbye, Lily." I pulled open the door, heading back out into the fading light.

"No! Wait! I swear, just a quick peek, then I'll go," she yelled after me, trotting by my side.

"Oh, fine!" I shouted. "Why has everypony decided to bug me today? I swear, if one more problem comes up, I'm gonna--"

There was a loud sound in the distance, followed by a flash of very yellow light. Puffs of grey smog floated up towards the sky.

I turned to Lily, but she was already gone, running all-out away from the explosion. I stamped my hoof in frustration, resolving to be the only pony running toward it. I galloped down the street, dodging ponies in their frantic efforts to escape.

Fate just wouldn't give me a break today. For whatever reason, some higher power had decided to make my life a living hell from this point forward. I knew this because, after only 30 days in Ponyville, a criminal had blown up my flower shop.

The place had been tiny to begin with, and an explosion so large had torn it to pieces. There was almost nothing left, just a molten hunk of metal laying at my hooves that had once been the bell above the door. Flower petals floated down with the ash, though most were blackened and flaking apart.

I didn't really have a place to go, of course. I didn't know anypony well enough to live in their house for a few days while I searched for a new one.

That's not true. I knew one pony. I just had to wait for her to turn up again, which was easier than I thought it would be.

A second explosion went off across town. It was pretty safe to assume that it was Lily Valley's shop. Guess I'd better get used to crazy, because I was moving in with it.

~~~~~

Ever heard the expression 'tailor-made hell?' Those words could barely compare with the sight of Lily's apartment.

First off, it could barely be described as living quarters. There were three rooms: a bathroom, a kitchen, and a den. The den was stocked with an antique-looking radio and a futon that Lily used as a bed. Secondly, the whole place smelled like fake flowers, the kind that chokes you when you get near it and that hangs in dull pink clouds after you spray it. This really didn't make much sense at all, seeing as this was the apartment of a florist, and that fresh flowers should have been abundant.

I didn't really give it much thought, seeing as Lily's first action was to pull out the futon and say, "Guess you'll be bunking with me, huh?"

I spent most of the night wedged in the narrow space between the mattress and the wall, staring at the awful paint job on the ceiling, wondering about the Doctor. Who was he? He'd just shown up, out of the blue, spouting complete nonsense.

But... the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. Weren't crazy ponies supposed to be unable to stick to a story? He was so sure of himself while he talked...

I tried to squirm into a better position, pushing myself out of the crack and hauling myself onto the mattress.

Which was empty.

"Oh, my god..." I jumped up, looking to the other rooms. The doors were wide open, showing only a dimly-lit space beyond each one. "Lily? Lily!"

A swift set of hoof beats in the hall drew me towards the door. There was a mail slot lazily installed in the cheap wood, and I bent down to peer through it. Without warning, the metal slot flew open, smacking me in the snout. I leapt backwards, catching a glimpse of an ice-blue eye before it disappeared.

"H-hello?" I murmured, pushing the door open just a crack.

"You!" shouted a nearby voice.

I jumped again, groping for a light-switch on the wall. The dark form moved toward me, and I flicked the switch-- revealing a much more acclimated Doctor.

"Do you have any idea what you have in your apartment?!" he shouted, pushing past me. He shoved the door open, marching into the apartment and pulling a device out of the pocket of his coat.

"Did you follow me?" I asked, furious.

The Doctor ignored me, putting the silver stick in his mouth and trotting about the room. He clamped his teeth down on the object, causing the end to emit a blue light and a warbling sound. After a few minutes of this, he spit the device out of his mouth. It landed on the tile with a metallic clink. "Alright, what have you done with it?"

"Excuse me?" I was taken aback. "Look, I hope you know this isn't even my apartment."

"Oh..." he muttered in a disgusted tone. "Well, why are you here, then?"

I sighed. "I needed a place to stay after that maniac blew up my shop. I was living in a flat above it." I clicked on the lamp, flooding the room with a dim yellow light. "Why are you here?"

"Nothing that you'd be able to understand, quite frankly," he spat, tucking the silver thing back in his pocket. He grinned at me. "Goodbye!"

"N-no! Wait!" I went after him, following him down the stairs and out onto the street. "You can't just go swannin' off, I need your help!"

The Doctor chuckled. "Well, you're in for a disappointment, then."

"Come on! Don't pretend that you had nothing to do with Lily disappearing!"

He scoffed. "Don't need to pretend. Who's Lily?"

"Mister, she's gone," I said firmly.

"Maybe she won the lottery. Also, please call me Doctor." The stallion picked up his speed, trying to leave me behind.

I galloped to catch up. "Look, you don't need to make me look like an idiot on top of treating me like one. What's your name?"

"I told you! It's 'The Doctor!'"

"What kind of name is that? Doctor who?"

He groaned. "Look, what is it you want?"

"The truth would be nice."

The Doctor stopped short. I bumped into him. "Truth about what?"

"Well, start with who the hell you are," I demanded.

The Doctor grabbed my foreleg. I fought the urge to shake him off, but I knew this was important. He wouldn't look me in the eye. "Do you remember when your parents first told showed you a picture of themselves when they were little? You just couldn't quite believe that your mum and dad had ever looked like that, they were always grown-ups to you. When you look at things, you see them for what they are. When I look at things, I see what they were and what they could be." He turned to look at me, his eyes burrowing into mine. His hoof slipped away. "That's who I am. Now, forget me, Roseluck."

I watched as he stalked off, ducking into an alleyway. How was I supposed to forget him after he pulled a stunt like that? And how did he find me?

I made my way back to Lily's place in a blizzard of questions, not coming up with a logical answer to any of them. The metal stairs clanged under my hooves, reverberating in the concrete stairwell.

One of Lily's neighbors must have shut off the light, as the hall leading to the flat was dark. The walk to her door never seemed to end.

There was nothing left to do, now, but search the apartment. There wasn't much to search, but I found something that intrigued me.

There was a scrap of paper with an address scribbled on it. Lily being an Earth Pony, the hoofwriting was terrible, but after turning on the light I could make out the house number and part of the street name.

Honestly, it could have been anything. But something about it made me think it was important.

Of course, there was no use in hunting down the house tonight. I laid down on the futon, closed my eyes, and wondered what it was like to get a full night's sleep.

~~~~~

I can't really say I woke up the next morning, because I had, in fact, been awake all night. However, when the sun shone through the grimy glass and crept over the window sill, I rose to my hooves and pushed open the cheap wooden door. I descended the stairs in a daze, my fatigue weighing heavily on me.

The harsh sunlight hit me full on when I opened the exit door, leaving me blinking for a minute or two before I could continue.

I quickly hailed a taxi, passing her the paper with the address.

"Look, lady. I can't read this. You know what this says?" she complained, shoving it back into my hooves.

"Erm..." I stared at the letters and numbers. "It's 506 something boulevard... probably..."

She rolled her eyes. "You shoulda told me. One of those, huh?"

"I... I don't know--"

"You're one of those conspiracy nuts," she explained, starting off toward the house. "That's all anypony ever goes to his place for."

"Really?"

"Yeah. And all those kooks have one thing in common: they keep rambling about this 'Doctor' character. Must be a psychiatrist." She chuckled at her joke. "There it is. Yellow house on the right." The cart came to a halt.

"Thanks." I stepped down, heading for the door.

"Oop! That'll be three bits, lady." The mare held out her hoof for payment. I tossed her three coins and approached the door.

The house was very normal, really. It looked just like every other house on the street. I sort of expected a conspiracy theorist to have a house covered in security cameras or something.

There was an old-fashioned knocker on the door, which I grabbed and tapped lightly a few times.

A bedraggled-looking mare opened the door. "Oh. You're Lily, huh?"

"Uh--" I started to say.

The mare sighed deeply. "Silver Boulder's out back in the shed."

"Thank you..." I mumbled, slipping past her and cutting through the house. I thought I heard her mutter something about me being female under her breath, but I ignored it. This pony obviously had information about the Doctor, and was determined to get it all.

You know what I said about the normal-looking house? The shed was exactly what I was expecting. I spotted three security cameras on the outside, and what I discovered to be a heavily locked door.

After pulling on the handle a few times, a slat slid open at eye-level.

"Oh. You're Lily, right?" spoke a very non-threatening voice.

"Well... no, but I know her. That's why I wanted to talk. See--" the slat closed, and I heard numerous chains being undone on the other side. Silver then opened the door just wide enough to yank me inside. "Hey!"

The pony looked very serious. "Why are you here?"

"Well... look, Lily went missing at some point last night. I found a paper with this address on it and figured--"

"Do you know about the Doctor?" he blurted.

"Uh... y-yeah, I sort of--"

"Then you're in danger," he said sternly, deadly serious.

I bit my lip.

The stallion turned, digging through files on a shelf beside him. He was a rather non-descript pony, all in shades of grey with a lumpy rock as a cutie mark.

Silver tossed a picture down on the table in front of me, pointing at the familiar face of the Doctor. "That's your Doctor, right?"

I bent down, looking hard at the photograph. The image was grainy, but it was definitely him. "Yup."

"Take a look." Silver lifted the first, showing me a second photo. It was the same as the previous, just zoomed out a bit. The Doctor was now standing in a crowd of other ponies. He lifted this one, too, and it zoomed out even more. Silver had to point to the Doctor, as the crowd was too crazy for him to be seen easily. One more picture was revealed, and I could now see what the crowd was watching. It was a very famous image of the first summer sun celebration.

"B-but that can't be..."

"But it is." Silver was getting excited. "The Doctor is a legend. Just catching a glimpse of him could mean your life will be changed forever!"

"What about... talking with him? See, I've run into him twice, and I--"

"Twice?!" he cut me off again. His face was first over-joyed, then suddenly grave. "Celestia help you..."

~~~~~

The visit with Silver had shaken me up pretty bad, but I was confident that things were gonna be okay. After all, he was a major nut-job, and I was lead to believe that the Doctor was too.

But... that picture...

No. It had to be a fake.

I sighed. This was so bloody stupid. The Doctor wasn't some fantastical dream come true, he was just a run-of-the-mill stallion with some kind of complex. Or several.

He was just so... plain. I mean, that could have been anypony in those pictures, really. It was a coincidence, nothing more. Silver Boulder was just taking things to the next level.

"What did you say was in your shop?" a gruff voice whispered right in my ear.

I yelped, hopping at least three feet away.

"Shh!"

"Doctor?"

"Shh!" he repeated, pressing a hoof into my lips.

I whimpered, trying to peer around him.

"You're being followed."

I leaned a bit further.

"No! Don't look! I think it's the one from your shop." He hissed.

I pushed his hoof away. "How did you know--"

"Never mind. Elongated snout? Eyes too small and... lizard-y?"

I nodded.

He huffed. "Alright. Just keep walking. When I say, turn left."

"You mean I'm being stalked?" I started a slow trot.

The Doctor groaned. "I wasn't gonna say so, but yeah. Now! Turn here!"

I broke into a gallop, veering left. The Doctor was right on my tail, urging me to move faster.

"Open the door!" he instructed.

"What door? There's no door!" I took a look at my surroundings. We had arrived in the same alley I had first met him in. Oh, this was just classic. "Oh my god, we're here again! What are you gonna do to me, eh? You got a gun or... or something?"

"Dammit, I cloaked it! Uh... h-hang on, I'll find it..." The Doctor stuck a hoof straight out in front of him and started wandering about the small area.

My sense or urgency was gone. He was clearly insane.

Just as I had decided this, the stallion appeared to smack into thin air. "Ah!"

He gave the air in front of him a rough shove, and I could hear a door creak open as he was bathed in soft yellow light. "Come on!"

I practically had to pick my jaw up off the ground. "How the hell--"

"Don't have all day!" he yelled as he walked inside. The air where he had disappeared into seemed to shimmer and fall away, revealing the blue box. It was a rather familiar sight at this point, and I approached it cautiously, trying to figure out how the Doctor's voice sounded so far away.

You know, at this point I shouldn't even be surprised. I should have expected this, even.

Beyond that little blue door lay an inviting yellow room. Gentle light seemed to seep out of the very walls, and a glass pillar rose from the center. It was surrounded by a hexagonal desk filled with various blinking dials and all sizes of levers. The whole room, in fact, seemed to be pieced together from junkyard salvages and worn out adornments.

The bloody thing was bigger on the inside.

"How?"

"Just is." He flicked a switch and the door slammed shut behind me.

"So... How come you aren't stumbling around anymore?"

"I practiced."

"Well... when? You don't learn to walk in 10 hours, that's just not how things work."

He looked up at me, a wry smile curling his lips. "Rose, just because things don't make sense doesn't mean you can't believe in them."

"Just tell me. No riddles."

"I went back in time. Had days and days to figure this hooves thing out. How do you stand it?"

"Didn't know there was another option..." I muttered.

The Doctor fooled with a few more controls, and the pillar's blue core began to grind up and down. This movement was accompanied by a sick, wheezing sound of straining engines.

"What is this thing?" I asked, running a hoof along the odd root-like structures that seemed to support the ceiling.

"A TARDIS."

"Is it magic?"

"No, it's alien."

"Are you alien?"

"Already said as much, dear. Clean out your ears, please."

I scoffed. "What's after me?"

"A criminal. An alien criminal from the future."

"Why?"

"Dunno yet. But I'll figure out, then I'll fix it, then I'll be off." The noise stopped. "Outside, please."

"B-but the criminal--"

It was the Doctor's turn to scoff at me. "Just go outside."

I gave him a concerned look. He shooed me, mouthing 'go.'

I pushed the door open a crack. "We moved?"

"What, you think I can travel in time but I can't change my position a bit?"

I shrugged. "Never met a time traveler."

He grinned, a crazy grin wider than I'd ever seen. "Then you're missing the best bits of life!"

I hung my head. "Look. I'm glad you're trying to help me, but--"

"You?" He laughed. "This isn't all about you, missy. You're just all caught up in it. This is about the future of ponykind!" He chuckled. "'Ponykind'..."

"Well, thanks for that self-esteem booster..." I grumbled. "In all honesty, Doctor, could you please explain what exactly is going on?"

He sighed. "Companions. Why do bring I you along? You always end up slowing me down... Okay. Look, there is a planet with an Equinoid species very similar to yours a few hundred light-years away. That planet has decided that a fair punishment is to separate hackers from their technology."

"Hackers?"

"This species is so advanced that brains can be hacked. Thoughts can be changed, and volition can be taken control of. Very clever criminals use innocents to commit crimes in the hopes that it won't be traced back to them."

"Ew..."

"Anyway! Once they're sent here, they revert to a more primal state. See, technology does most of the work remembering things and making decisions there, and these criminals can only think on the very lowest level."

"I thought you said they were clever?"

"Oh, they are. Normal citizens would be in a comatose state."

"Oh."

"But, never mind. Look, they saw your shop as a form of safety."

"Why?"

"On their planet, technology grows on trees."

I laughed out loud. "You can't be serious."

"I am! He saw the flowers as an advanced life form, something that could help him! When it didn't, he assumed it an enemy and--"

"Blew it up."

I gave me an approving look. "You're quick."

I smirked. "So, why are we here?"

"Ah, I tracked a signal with the TARDIS. We should be within one hundred meters of their command center."

"Command center?"

"Oh, they're quick as you are." He looked around. "So where do you think they are?"

I thought for a moment, then started to smile. "Gee, that's a tough one. How about the one place with trees in a hundred meters?" I pointed behind him. "The Everfree Forest."

He grinned. "Fantastic!"

~~~~~

"If you have a time machine, why couldn't you just hop forward to the morning? It's nearly impossible to move through the Everfree in the dark..." I complained, another unruly root catching my hoof and bringing me to the ground.

The Doctor plowed ahead. "We'd be wasting too much time. By tomorrow morning they may have escaped."

"Escaped?!" I hauled myself off the ground. "I thought you said that they were technology-oriented! How could they escape?"

"Eh..." The Doctor whined. "I may not have explained that properly. Their technology is non-technological."

"Gonna need translation on that one."

"It means they can use inanimate objects and plants to build working machinery." He explained, allowing a branch to snap back from his grip and into my face.

I spit out a mouthful of sap. "You keep changing your story. Continuity, please!"

He stopped, putting a hoof on each of my cheeks. "They will escape if I don't do something right now. Someone along the line under-estimated their abilities."

"Oh." I managed to get out.

"Good." The Doctor pulled his hooves away, a trail of sap coming with them. "Ew."

I broke the trail with my hoof. "Okay. So... why can't we just let them go?"

"Well, all that the judge really wants to do is get these criminals off their planet. As long as they stay away, they'll continue to send them down. Deflecting the blows will tire you out, so use all you've got to cut it off at the source."

I nodded in understanding. "So you're gonna stop them, yeah?"

"That's what I'm here for."

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why?" I repeated. "You're an alien. You've got other ponies who care about you, why risk yourself to save us?"

He sniffed. "Well, that's easy. I don't."

"You don't what?"

"Shh!" The hoof was back in my face, waving about in an attempt to silence me. "I can see them."

"W-well, how many are there?" I tried to get a look at the scene, but the Doctor was too tall to peek around.

"Ooh, looks like six. No, seven." He paused. "Eh... eight, tops."

I threw my hooves in the air. "Well, great. Great. Two of us, plus a wooden box, against eight criminal geniuses from the future. This'll end well."

"Wrong!" The Doctor whipped out the silver stick I'd seen him use earlier. "We've got this. It'll disable any form of technology. Except wooden ones." He frowned.

"What is it?"

"Sonic Screwdriver. Comes in handy quite a bit. Does a lot of things-- too technical to explain."

I blinked. "It's a screwdriver."

He pressed the tip between my eyes. "It's a super-powered screwdriver. Don't treat it like just another tool. 'Cos it isn't. It never will be."

I held up my hooves defensively. "Fine. Sorry I said anything."

"Hmph." The Doctor turned back to the bushes, continuing to spy on the camp. "Ugh-- now who the hell is that? Why is she there, she couldn't be more in the way!"

"Who?"

"She's got some flowers on her rump... she's not screaming. That's unusual."

"Who?" I demanded.

"Oh, they've gagged her."

"Who!" I practically yelled.

He continued muttering to himself about the pony, and I took the opportunity to wriggle around him to get a look at the scene.

"Oh my god! It's Lily!" I hissed, trying not to raise my voice

"Know her, do you? Friend of yours?" The Doctor asked.

"Well..."

"Oh, god, I should've known. This is one of those tiny towns where everyone knows everyone else by name, right? God, I hate those places. Too much gossip, not enough doing if you ask me," he rambled.

"For your information, I've only been here a month. Not nearly enough time to get to know anypony."

It was like I could feel him roll his eyes. "Would you stop doing that? I have to stifle a laugh each time."

"It's how I talk. Would you tell somepony with a speech impediment the same thing? Go forbid they speak another language..." I threw back.

He chuckled. "There you go again! 'Pony' this, 'pony' that, it's terribly egotistical. Where I'm from, they have feet instead of hooves, but they don't go sticking 'foot' or 'human' in front of every other word, that's just silly."

"It's not like it's my fault! Blame the settlers, if you need a scapegoat!"

The Doctor pressed a hoof over my mouth. I pushed it away. "Gettin' tired of the taste of your hoof, Doctor."

"Shh! Shh!" His ear pricked. "They're powering up. Wait here, would you?"

He took a deep breath, tucking his screwdriver away, and marched out of the bushes. I smacked my forehead with my hoof.

" 'Ello!" he called. I watched as though it were a film.

Two of the criminals were in sight. They rushed at him, preparing to grab and stabilize him.

"Ah, ah, ah!" He held up a hoof to pause them. They stopped. "You don't wanna do that. See, I've got this." He pulled the screwdriver out of his pocket.

The criminals looked slightly fearful, backing away from him.

"Oh, you know what that is, don't you? Well, I don't want you to be afraid. This is just in case." He tossed it aside. "I want to help you."

The ponies looked at each other.

"Really, I do. You're Lamestinean, right?"

One of them nodded.

"I can get you out of here, alright? I'll get you back somewhere safe, okay?"

What was he doing? They were criminals! I don't know what went through my mind, but I found myself leaping from the bushes and tackling the two ponies. "Doctor, run!"

"Rose! W-what are you doing?" He gasped.

A few more ponies emerged from the shadows. Lily was squirming about, trying to break free of her bonds. Somepony grabbed the screwdriver. Somepony took the Doctor down. I rushed to Lily's side.

"I'm gonna get you out, okay?" Lily nodded fiercely and I started in on her gag.

"No! No, I'm not going to hurt you, I swear! That's not what I do!" The Doctor was pleading with the criminals. Two had taken hold of him and the rest had surrounded him.

I tore the gag away. "Rose, you gotta help him!" Lily blurted.

"I don't even know him!"

Lily gave me a look I will never forget. She stared at me for a moment only, and in that look I could see all the faith she placed in this crazy stallion. I never found out how she knew him, but I could see in those golden eyes that she cared deeply for his safety.

I nodded. Lily smiled a bit.

I huffed a deep breath. "Okay. Here goes, Roseluck. You've got no job, no home, no friends." I chuckled. "No future. But... it's time to be extraordinary."

"What are you gonna do?" Lily asked.

I smiled to myself. "Something the Doctor can't. I'm gonna be a pony." I stood, crouching into an almost feline position, like a coiled spring ready to explode.

Everything happened at once. I sprinted toward the pack of aliens with the Doctor buried at the center. I didn't slow down, not one bit, until I'd plowed over them and come out the other side. The Doctor threw off his containers, springing for the one holding his sonic. He pointed it toward the remaining ponies, who backed off immediately.

"Ha!" he said around the device. "Don't like that much, eh? Now you just stay back, or I'll... I'll sonic you all to high heaven!"

The ponies looked confused.

"Lost in translation... never mind, just stay away!" He waved it threateningly.

"Okay, what now?" I demanded.

"Always the questions with you! But, then again, I do like that in a person... pony..." He pondered that.

"Great! What are we gonna do?" I repeated.

"Well, they're prisoners, aren't they?"

"Y-yeah..."

"Then we'll bring in the warden." He pulled the sonic out of his mouth, pointing it straight up at the sky. The little blue light came out the tip, and the sound was much louder this time.

"What's happening?" I yelled.

"I sending a message! They'll be here any second!" he replied.

"Who?"

"Who'd I say? The warden!"

As if on cue, the sky overhead seemed to rip open, and a peculiar vehicle descended. The wind whipped about us, my mane flying about violently. The Doctor didn't have much mane to speak of, but it still bristled in the pure force of the engines.

"Hello!" he called up at the ship. "I'd like to speak to your judge, please! I'm assuming you brought him?" He spoke with such authority, and yet he sounded like an idiot at the same time.

A speaker crackled to life, and a growling voice announced something.

"She! Sorry, she! Please, may I speak with her?"

The voice gave a single syllable answer.

"Fantastic! Bring her out!"

I saw a flickering yellow light below the ship, and a pony appeared. She looked a lot like the criminals, but her features were sharp and elegant. She had a reptilian tail that snapped back and forth and matching snake eyes that glared at the Doctor. She hissed something in a foreign language.

"Oh, I may speak, may I? Brilliant. Well, what the hell is wrong with you?!"

What a great way to start, especially to the pony with murder in her eyes.

"I can't even begin to cover the laws you've broken!" he ranted. "This is a level four planet, you can't interfere, not yet!"

She spat back a reply. I thought I caught a familiar word or two, but I didn't think that was possible.

"Oh, you didn't know? Don't give me that, you buffoon! That's the biggest load of rubbish I've ever heard! Of course you knew, you just thought no one was watching!" He chuckled. "Look, I could have you arrested for that alone, but I've got a list as long as my arm-- leg-- of other stuff you've done! No matter what level the planet is, they shouldn't have to clean up your mess! It's your problem, and yours alone!"

She shrieked something back, but the Doctor cut her off. "Hey! Not done yet! Now, you're Lamestineans-- ponified Lamestineans, but you've still got laws against cruel and unusual punishment!"

The creature was stunned into silence.

"Ha! That certainly sounds familiar, eh? Well, perhaps you'd be interested to know that this counts as both!"

Silence again. I smiled. He was pretty cool, really.

"Now, listen up! I'm going to give you a pass if you swear to never come back."

Her face brightened.

"That's right, no lawsuits, no Shadow Proclimation, but you'll never come back!"

The words were unfamiliar, but I knew what he was doing. He was saving everypony at once.

Finally, the creature found her voice.

"Who am I?" the Doctor echoed. "That's a great question. Wasn't sure myself for a while. It certainly didn't feel like me. But, you know what?"

The creature shook her head.

"I am the Doctor. And I just saved you all." He grinned wildly again, a crazy smile, one that he just couldn't hold back. "Now-- take these bad boys away and I'll be done with you. For good, you hear me?"

There was no reply, but nine beams of yellow light pock-marked the ground, stealing away the criminals and their judge. The sky slammed shut.

The Doctor turned to me, still grinning. "See? Fixed it."

~~~~~

After freeing Lily, the Doctor disappeared. I didn't go looking for him. He didn't want to be found, after all.

Speaking of Lily, the mare simply wouldn't shut up about the Doctor. By the time we reached the door of her little a apartment, I'd heard the story I'd just lived about seven times over. Lily re-enacted the scene over and over, jumping about and restating the Doctor in a bad accent. I just kept nodding, saying "I know, I know," every time she looked at me.

Of course, fate just wouldn't let me go. Roseluck had been touched by the Doctor, touched by an angel, and she would never be the same again. As Lily searched for the key to her flat, I heard a wheezing sound inside. It was so familiar, it was like the snoring of a family member.

I heard a door creak open, and the soft yellow light seeped out into the hall.

Lily turned the key in the lock.I pushed the door open.

"Hello, Rose. Didn't think I was done with you yet, did you?" The Doctor was leaning against the TARDIS, his swagger fully on display.

"I sort of did," I told him.

He scowled. "Oh. Did I give that impression?"

I nodded a bit.

"Huh. I'm usually so good with vibes..."

"What is it you want, Doctor?" I pressed.

"I want you, in this box, with me, heading off to another planet," he said frankly. He then pointed at Lily. "She's not invited."

Lily opened her mouth to say something, but I did the Doctor thing I stuck my hoof in it.

"So... you wanna come?"

"Why me?"

" 'Cos you're here."

"That's not true. You can't afford to pick just anypony. Something tells me you've gotta rely on your friend to be more than just a conversationalist."

"You're right." He nodded.

I smiled. "Your life in my hooves?"

"Can't think of any-- anypony better suited for the job." He struggled to say it, I could tell.

I turned to Lily. "What do you think? Roseluck: time traveler? Sound good?"

Lily's face was contorted into one of jealousy. She didn't say anything.

"That's a yes." I stepped toward the Doctor. "Bye, Lily. See in a minute."

"Better make it ten. We've got the whole universe, after all," the Doctor added.

I nodded. "Ten it is."

I put my hoof on the TARDIS handle, following the Doctor inside, and pulled the door gently shut.