Pathfinders Saga

Nalsia's eyes fluttered open and then shut again. Then shot wide open as she took in exactly where she was. Somebody's chest obscured her vision, vaguely familiar but her pounding head couldn't put an exact name to it just yet, and said somebody's arms kept her there. Thankfully, from what she could tell both she herself and He, whoever he was, were fully clothed. Which was extremely good for her anxiety level, which had started rising the moment she figured out somebody was holding her.

The elf tried and failed again to assign the man holding her a name. Too warm for Koltira, too peach to be Grom, too wingless to be Rakh, who the hell? Suddenly she heard a sharp intake of breath just above her head, along with a mumbled "If I'm holding who I think I'm holding I'm fucking toast."

And all of a sudden, everything clicked. "Thrian?" she yelped, squirming backwards. It was indeed the human, and in the face of her conflicting emotions he looked terrified of what would happen next. Nalsia wasn't entirely sure what she should be, but at the moment the best she could manage was a level of utter confusion rarely seen before, with a side dish of shock and a glass of embarrassment.

"And the lovebirds are awake," Isabel drawled from the doorway. "Are you two done cuddling yet? Breakfast's done."

Peaceful morning? Shattered into a million tiny shards.

They broke apart, red-faced, and went to get up. "Wait.....Nals, what's that on your finger?"

"Hmm?" The death knight in question glanced down at her hand. "What do you mean, what's the-" she froze momentarily, frosty eyes widening even further. "Oh shit!"

A gleaming silver band, etched with a language vaguely reminscent of Thalassian and a few ice-blue runes, was what was on her finger. Just to check, his own hand came up to be looked at. Same thing, different sized ring.

He looked at her, she looked at him, and Isabel laughed at them both. "This isn't what it looks like," Nalsia muttered angrily to Koltira as he stumbled past, stopping to stare before deciding wherever he was going was more important than whatever wackos did in their spare time. Nalsia slammed the door shut after dragging Isabel inside with them.

"Why are you laughing? Do you fucking see these runes? These rings aren't coming off for a good while!" Thrian's other hand met his face at that, and he groaned. "Of course, there had to be a catch. Wake up with enchanted clingy-rings, check. The universe is laughing at us right now, I swear."

The elf laughed, but this was a laugh on the edge of insanity. "And it gets worse! These were my parents', so they know they're on us....or me, at least." Insane giggle. "We're so screwed!"

Isabel rose from her position on the floor, pausing for breath. "Oh, there's other things that can come off in the meantime."

"ISABEL!" This time it was Thrian who yelled, causing them all to wince and clutch their heads. "Owowow...okay, ow," the worg responded, rubbing her temples, "I'll stop, just don't yell again."

Thrian nodded, and went back to blinking fiercely, trying to get something out of his eye. "Fine."

"But no more cracks at us.....I can't even say it. No more, alright?" Nalsia was extremely unbalanced by the entire situation, and unfortunately for her, it showed. Her expression, the way she held herself......."This is fucking priceless!" Isabel squealed, dropping to the floor again as her laughter took control.

Thrian smiled. "You have to admit though, that expression you have right now is pretty interesting."

"Whose side are you on?" she hissed back angrily.

"My own," the airy reply smacked her in the face.

"Goddamnit." She buried her head in her hands and sighed. "Look, just cover the ring up for a while and hopefully soon they'll come off."

The worg butted in once again. "Um...your ring talks."

"What?" Nalsia looked at the metal.

NOPE

"What the actual fuck?"

SECRETLY, YOU DON'T WANT ME TO COME OFF, SO I WON'T

"What kind of bullshit is this?"

THE KIND OF BULLSHIT THAT RESULTS FROM HIDING FEELINGS AND ENDING UP WITH MAGIC RINGS

"Aaaarrgh."

MY TWIN'S YELLING AT YOUR HUSBAND, BTW

"He is not my-"

OH REALLY

"Yeah really!"

BECAUSE NORMALLY WHEN TWO ADULTS ARE WEARING RINGS THAT MEANS THEY'RE GOING TO GET

She didn't even read the rest. "What's yours have to say Thri?"

"She isn't my wife!" He yelled, seemingly at his finger.

She facepalmed. "So, the same thing. Isabel, get out and stay quiet or I'll erase your memory of the entire thing."

The rogue saluted and was gone.

Nalsia turned her attention back to Thrian and his ring.

"We're not getting married!"

She couldn't see the ring's response, but whatever it was took the wind right out of his sails. He deflated, going from anger to resigned defeat. "I don't know what we're going to do about it."

Apparently whatever the ring suggested was nothing he wanted to listen to, as he paled and dropped his hand back to his side. Contemplatively, she glanced down at her own and was surprised to see the text had changed again.

KISS HIM KISS HIM KISS HIM KISS HIM

"What? No!"

YOU WANT TO, I'M YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS GIVEN A MANIFEST AND I'M TELLING YOU TO DO IT

Did rings take breaths? This one did, apparently.

THEREFORE, ON A SUBCONSCIOUS LEVEL YOU ALREADY WANT TO KISS HIM

"I do not."

SO DO IT AND SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE

"Why would I listen to you?"

BECAUSE THIS IS THE GUY YOU'RE STUCK WITH FOR AT LEAST THREE WEEKS

"A month? A whole fucking month?"

YUP

"Oh wonderful."

SO YOU TAKING TOP OR BOTTOM

"Huh?"

DO YOU REALLY WANT ME TO EXPLAIN THAT ONE

"I really want you off my finger, but on second thought no, I don't want you explaining that."

YOU THINK HE'S CUTE, YOU ALWAYS HAVE

"Nuh uh!"

OH THAT WAS REAL MATURE

She growled at it. "Shut the fuck up."

BUT I'M NOT ACTUALLY TALKING, THEREFORE I CAN'T SHUT UP

Nalsia facepalmed and lowered her hand back to her side. "Why," she groaned, "Does mine have to be the smartass?"

"My ring says at least one part of her's smart," Thrian commented.

Her eyes cut up to him, then back down to her own ring.

HE CAN FUCK OFF

Mutely, she lifted her finger for him to read. He suppressed a laugh, then lifted his own.

YOU WANNA GO BITCH

She looked at hers.

OH BRING IT

"Can rings fight?" His question gave her pause. "Actually, I wouldn't put it past them." So he answered himself, there.

"They certainly seem like they're going to try," she muttered, glancing at her ring like it was a bomb.

HEY YOU

"Me?"

NOT YOU HIM

This time, Thrian answered. "me?"

YES YOU

"What?"

KISS HER

"Excuse me?"

DO IT

"Why?"

YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO

"......I don't actually have anything to say there."

SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR

"I have no interest in dying today."

MORE THAN THAT

"Huh?"

YOU HAVE AN INTEREST IN MORE THAN NOT DYING

"No comment."

HAHAHAHA

"Is there a way to shut these things up?"

She shook her head and sighed. "So far? No."

He was silent for a moment. Then "Damnit."

"I didn't know you knew any swear words."

"Oh shut up."

End of day one....

"So have you figured out a way to get them off yet?"

Their every conversation that day had started like that. And so far, nothing had worked.

Not even twisting it around her finger for twenty minutes straight.  Twenty minutes of her life she'd never get back. And they didn't do a damned thing, either.

"No," she sighed. For the third time that day.

The human shrugged. "There has to be some way-"

Nalsia glanced down at her ring.

AHAHAHAHAHA LOSERS

"Shut up or I'll dunk you in acid again."

Bandu falah'dash sino'rei

"Better."

She looked back up. "Sorry, the ring was getting lippy."

"Can they even do that?" he wondered aloud, taking a seat across the desk.

"Apparently, ours can." Another sigh. "Have you figured anything out yet?"

The paladin sighed and shook his head. "Nope. But it's stayed like this all day." He raised his hand.

KISS HER

She raised her own.

KISS HIM

"I've had no better luck than you."

And with that, the elf laced her hands behind her head and kicked her feet up on the desk. "And I get the feeling that isn't going to change anytime soon."

"I'm almost to the point where I'll do what they say if it means this annoying piece of shi-metal," he amended, "Will leave me alone."

"Try it."

His head snapped up so he was looking at her directly. "What?"

She swung her legs off the desk and leaned forward, resting her chin on her palms. "Try it."

The paladin flushed. "Are you serious?"

"D-did I f-fucking stutter?" She shot back sarcastically.

He growled.

She smirked, then let her gaze flick down to his hand.....

IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME

..........then her own hand..........

THE BED'LL COME LATER, BUT DAMNIT YOU WILL END UP THERE WITH HIM SOMEDAY

"Why not today?" the elf murmured, thinking out loud.

HE WON'T BE COMFORTABLE WITH IT, WILL HE

Nalsia only grinned at the band of silverite.

OH I GET IT YOU'RE GOING TO SEDUCE HIM AREN'T YOU

"Well I wouldn't say it like that....but yes."

MEN ARE SO EASY TO MANIPULATE

"That they are."

"Um, Nals?"

Her gaze snapped up from the ring. "Yeah?"

"One, you're talking to jewelry. Slightly disturbing. Two, this POS-"

"Piece of shit, you mean?" she interjected sweetly, getting a glare in response.

"-says we're apparently supposed to sleep together now."

Then he held up his hand:

IF YOU CATCH HIS DRIFT

"It was your drift, not mine," he growled.

IT 'WAS' MY DRIFT

"Motherfu-aagh I need to stop."

Nalsia laughed quietly. It still didn't escape the glare.

"Whose side are you on here?"

She waved a hand, settling back into her previous position and kicking her feet up. "My own. You?"

Thrian's head hit the desk with a thunk and a muffled "Screw you."

End of day two...

Nalsia plodded into her room and turned on the TV, stripping off her armor and clothing until she was down to her bandage-wrapped chest and some tight black leather leggings. After plopping down in front of the TV, she took a look at her ring.

KISS HIM AND GET IT OVER WITH ALREADY

Shaking her head wearily, the elf grabbed her controller and set up a match in Call of Duty: Vashj'ir. The gamertag SHADOWSTEP popped up, followed by her ranking, then shortly after the tag THEHOLYGRAIL appeared. Following the new player came three others: MARCKTHEBARCK, STFUKID, and DKCHAMP.

Grinning predatorily, the death knight's thumb hit the 'Ready Up' button, and the match began.

Several minutes later found her eagerly gunning down her enemies, the insane grin on her face a testament to her enjoyment of the game. The game narrator's voice called time, and the score for the team deatchmatch was 25-12.

Then somebody knocked on her door. Sighing, Nalsia turned off the TV and walked over to the door, flinging it open in preparation of a fight.

Thrian backed up a few steps at her expression, then took one forward as the glare she was giving him softened. "Oh hey. Come on in."

Warily stepping around her, Thrian sat down heavily on the couch where she'd been just moments ago. A bad move on his part, as seconds later saw her straddling him, pinning him down against the couch.

He was blushing madly, but his eyes told a different story from embarrassment.

Leaning closer warranted him attempting to squirm away.