Trouble in Detrot

The situation looked dim, both figuratively and literally, because we were surrounded, I was still nauseous, and it happened to be nighttime.

“I think the jig is up, Opal. We’re surrounded,” I muttered to her.

“They’re Earth ponies,” she said.

“I know. We can’t bust our way out by force. They’re too strong.”

“We’re pegasi.”

“Exactly, they’re naturally stronger than us,” I said.

“We have wings, Nimbus.”

“I am aware of our anatomy, Opal.”

“We can fly, you drunk idiot!” she shouted.

“Ah yes, we can do that.”

We both took to the skies, leaving our hunters contemplating their lack of useful extra appendages.

The moon and stars were our only source of light by the time a small town, surrounded by a forest, came into sight. I didn’t know the name, because I had never actually left Detrot before and I was just following Opal blindly.

The view was nice though, despite the low light making it difficult to see.

“We should land in those trees,” Opal called back to me.

“Why? We can just go straight to town,” I answered.

“Would you rob a mare of her romantic walk in the woods?” she asked.

Well, she was a bit forward, and I was still tipsy, so I had thought this might turn into a wonderful evening.

I followed her down into the trees. It was quiet, too quiet...

Banging should fix that.

I took a step toward her.

“Don’t move, you’re surrounded!” somepony who was out of sight yelled.

“This isn’t possible. They wouldn’t chase us this far,” I exclaimed.

“These ponies aren’t from your gang, Nimbus,” Opal said. “Or Lock Jock, whichever you prefer to be called.”

I was surrounded.

The glow of combat spells lit up the landscape all around me, the bushes rustled as large armored earth ponies rushed out, and the sky above me quickly filled with pegasi. I might have been able to pull off a brilliant escape, had I not been recovering from consuming what could probably be considered a week’s supply of booze. Even with my brain not quite firing on all cylinders, it was plain to see I would be in a world of hurt if I so much as twitched the wrong way.

“All this for little old me?” I said, trying to hide the fear in my voice.

“This mission is important. We can’t allow any extra chance of failure.”

“And just who is this mission being done for?”

“You have to agree to help us first,” Opal said.

“Fine, I’ll help with whatever it is you’re doing,” I replied, knowing full well this little vow would probably hurt a bit later. Curiosity can be annoying sometimes.

“The princess has desired a reformation in Detrot for a while. She regrets not stopping its downward spiral at the start, but relations with Griffonia were strained and had to be attended to first. Then other things just kept popping up and now we’re here.”

“This goes all the way up to the crown?”

“Hopefully you see the importance of our mission now.”

“Does this mean I get a fancy medal if we pull whatever this is off?”

“Maybe if you die. Otherwise, no pony will ever find out you were a part of this and you’re taking your involvement to your grave.”

“You servants of Celestia sure know how to bring the sunshine.”

“Quit whining. Are you ready to get briefed on your mission?”

“I guess now is a good a time as any,” I replied, still a bit shaken from the previous revelation.

“You’re going to help us fix the trouble in Detrot,” Opal answered.

“Ponyfeathers...”

“What? I haven’t even started explaining,” Opal said.

“How did I get myself into this?” I asked myself.

“You’re an alcoholic who has the skills we want and information we need, that’s how,” Opal replied.

“Listen here, Opal,” I said, “I might be a drunk, I might be a fool for falling for whatever act you put on, but I will always be loyal to Equine Nation. The only reason I helped you out of the city was because I didn’t think it would hurt the gang… and I was trashed, that contributed a lot to it in hindsight. So I won’t be a part of your scheme to take down my—”

“We’re not after your gang Nimbus,” she said with a sigh.

“Wha—”

“I need your help taking down a noble.”

My mind was spinning. This situation doesn’t make any sense. Maybe I passed out at the bar. This is all some dream. I’m wasn’t really in the middle of a forest with a crazy mare with a plot to take down some noble surrounded by guards that are ready to kill me…

“Nimbus, pay attention, Detrot is a rathole. There are five ponies that control nearly all the bits in Detrot. Between all of them they have sixty percent of the money in the city. Your gang, Equine Nation, controls thirty percent, and the other ten is held by the rest of the citizens.”

“If thats true, then why are you going after nobles instead of the gang?” I asked.

“Your gang steals money from the nobles. If we went after you guys, then the nobles would just control ninety percent of the wealth.”

Nothing made sense anymore. First I learn that the Equine Nation isn’t a secret at all; they even have figures on how much of the money we control. Second the crown knew that we were shameless thieves—of the rich anyway—and did nothing to stop or hinder us. Finally, the princess, the eternal monarch of Equestria, the all-powerful mover of the sun, is using tricks to get around the laws she created.

“Why do you even need my help? You have well-trained guards and the support of the crown. Why not just do whatever it is you do and leave me and my gang out of it?” I yelled.

“Because your gang controls nearly all the information in the city, we can’t do our job because our job requires intel, and we need proof before we can exert the will or the princess. So without you, unless the noble we’re after suddenly turns himself in, our hooves are tied.”

“So, all you dragged me out here for was information?”

“No, I need proof along with the information.”

“There is no proof. Everypony in Detrot covers their behind as much as a frigid virgin on a snowy morning,” I exclaimed.

“Which is why you’re going to plant proof.”

“Not possible.They would find it and get rid of it before you could ‘find’ it.”

“Not if they didn’t have time.”

“That would require planting your evidence after their workers swept the house for anything incriminating but before the guards stormed in.”

“Exactly,” Opal said.

“That isn’t possible.”

“For you, it is. You know this noble and his villa. You also can’t resist a chance at taking this one down.”

“I know every noble and their house layout. Now, who are you talking about?”

“I’m giving you a shot at the unicorn who you hate the most.”

“Gilded Emerald!?”

“Bingo.”

My blood boiled. I had never did forgive that pony. He bought up the block my family used to live on. He put us out on the street. I robbed him once before. That was actually the job where I earned the title “Lock Jock”.

So many doors in that mansion, too many of them with locks.

I hate to say this, but I already technically got my revenge on him. When I was there the first time, I only took the pillow from his room when I robbed him. I know, it sounds like I just wasted my time, but you haven’t slept on that thing. Made from enchanted silk that stays the perfect temperature no matter the temperature of the room, and on top of that, it is stuffed with specially-formed clouds imported from Cloudsdale that could be stood on by any of the pony races . It probably cost a small fortune. It is by far the greatest thing in existence, but I’m getting off topic. I never thought he adequately paid for what he did, and up until now finishing off my revenge has been impossible. He more than doubled his estate guard after I got out the last time.

“I’m in, but how do you plan on getting past all his guards?”

“You already said that you were in.”

“I’m double in now. Now, about the guards: that pony’s estate is guarded better than the royal cake pantry,” I replied.

“Leave that to me. You just focus on your job of planting the evidence in his office.”

“And how exactly do you plan on me doing that?”

“Let me put it into words you’ll understand. It’s quite simple, really. You’re going to get in unseen while we distract the guard, then get out unseen after you plant the incriminating evidence.”

“You know, that is just vague enough to work,” I remarked sarcastically.

“I’ll give you more details when we get back to Detrot. Until then, you will just have to be satisfied knowing you are going to be following a schedule tighter than a dress on your mother,” Opal quipped.