Inspector Origins, Joey Bonk

Joey's log: Today we honor Mary Bonk. She was my wife, she died while pregnant, I'd rather not go into detail but long story short, I can never eat spaghetti again and always count to 1 1/2 before throwing a grenade,

Ah sweet Mary. I'm sorry, just so sorry reader could you read the story I'm too sad to talk to you right now. I'm, just god, I'm gonna get a tissue. I just need to grieve for a bit, don't worry I will be back to redefining breaking the forth wall soon, just writer, just please write the story I'm too sad to yell at you ok. Where were we, just dammit. I'm sorry the woman I loved died so I'm gonna shut up and get on with it I'm making a scene sorry.

"Hey Fluttersh- HOLY F**K JOEY WHAT THE @$$ ARE YOU DOING HERE!?" That's what my ears were greeted to after Twilight and Fluttershy finished arguing.

"What's it look like Doc, healing! Now get your ass over here and use your medical expertise to help me or something!" I yelled at him.

"Well I see you were in good hands before I got here." Fluttershy blushes. "Now I'm gonna remove the bandages. This may sting a little." Oh god.

"Hey, I've been shot in the pe- OH DEAR GOD IT HURTS LIKE LEMON JUICE IN A PAPER CUT!" HOLY F*CKING @$$BREATHING FIRE MONKEYS THE PAIN, IT SURGES THROUGH MEEEEEE

"Sorry, now I can see it's been infected. You see that little dark part? That's an infection. Now Flutter, get me a pale of water, you don't have sinks here do you? Oh even if... what the hell is this?" Thank god he carries moist towels with him everywhere, they are so soothing to me even though Doc sounds a bit worried. But hell he healed me from a gunshot to the face so I'm not worried.

"That's red poison joke, thank god it wasn't green though. However it is only a small bit of it, so he will probably just stay the same age for a bit. Odd, the insignia... GET ZECORA HERE NOW!" Twilight screams. In my ear I might add. But as I'm Whisked away into a land of quadruple rainbows and happiness passing out. I'm in the depths of my inner mind and it is hell. I'm reliving the worst moments of my life, I see images of my dead parents. Whatever the hell I fell in, prolonged exposure to it led to this. I'm relieving my wife's death, every horrible second was worse as I know she wouldn't make it.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________                                                                      *too much sad going to Doc*

"This wound, I cannot mend, your friend's life just might end." Zecora said, rhyming as usual.

"Is there Nothing we can do!?" Twilight yelled.

"It all depends on his mind, that of which he must find." Zecora replied.

"I know for certain he is not mentally sane, he witnessed his parents' murder, received multiple head trauma, saw his wife and son die in front of him, and has seen many of his friends die right before him. Fate practically made him it's b!*ch."

"If he is not sane, we must refrain from contact, or his mind will practically compact!" Zecora made the stretch with that rhyme.

"What was that plant we found on him?" I asked worriedly.

"A special form of poison joke, there are five. Blue makes something you value about yourself not work or negates it. Red is basically anti-ageing you, with all of your thoughts intact, we have had some experiences with it but the Alicorn Amulet was the only as the only tangible cure. Red with skull makes you wonder through the dark alleys of memory lane, or makes you relive all the horrible things that have happened to you over and over for a random number of times, many who have been exposed to it go insane afterword. Green, well um... eh he he he, oh umm.. 'heat season" nuff said. Orange gives you amnesia.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------                                                               *back to the pits of Tartarous*

After I got through the war segment. I was back in my old bedroom 19 years ago. So many fond mem- oh dear god and mormon jesus the comedian no. Oh dear sweet Jesus no no NO. SWEET MARY MOTHER OF F*CKING GOD NO!!!!!!

It was 19 years ago today that psychopath Josh McFlinigin broke in and murdered both my parents. It was bedtime, 8:00pm on February the 7th 1995. My mom was reading me "Goodnight Moon" with my dad there beside her. Right before they finished reading, a shotgun blast took my mother's head off. He then took out a 'Finer Diner Silverware' knife and repeatedly stabbed my dad right before my eyes. Even when I closed them I could still see him stabbing.

"I thought you were supposed to be a hero!" I knew that familiar voice any where.

"Dash, but aren't you in a coma?" I ask.

"You are too featherbrain!" Oh dashie, sometimes you make me hate you. "Hey! I heard that!" What this? "Yeah!" Oh great! Does this mean that because we are each other's dimensional equivalent we arre pyshically locked? "Eh could you translate that into english, egghead?" Because i am basically you in human guy form and you are me in lady pony form, we can read each other's minds? "I guess so. But look at you, crying and cringing in fear, stand up for yourself!" But i'm just a kid. "Says the 21 year old guy?" Your right.

"I AM NOT AFRAID OF YOU ANY MORE!" I scream out at the top of my lungs before he Grows gigantic.

"Really? Ha kid you're making me laugh. You're weak and helpless, forever alone in the world." Not any more.

"I have friends, 6 of them to be exact. Now girls, kick his ass." He lets out a hearty laugh before being beat up by me and my friends.  Maybe the world isn't so bad after all.

I wake up momentarily, cough a bit, and then tell everyone I'm ok. "You look different, more happy. Judging from the flower, you either took one hell of a trip, or faced your internal conflict."

"DASHIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I scream before running to the hospital.

"That is one hell of a hero." I hear Doc mutter as they all chase after me.