"Whoa...hey, Stone, come check this out."
"What is it?"
"No clue, but I think it's alive."
" 'Nicholas, go hiking,' they said. 'It'll be good for you,' they said...yeah, I'll show my coworkers how much good it did to my bitch-slapping arm."
"What is it, you two? I'm supposed to be at a meeting discussing foreign...oh, my..."
"As we told you, your highness...there's something out there, laying in the garden.
"And it would seem you're right."
"What is it?"
"Ah, crap, stupid mosquitoes! God, I'm cold, I'm tired, I'm hungry, and I'm lost! I'll *never** see my home again! *sob*"*
"What? Really?"
"But those are just fairy tales!"
"Just go get my sister, you two."
"But-"
"Sis...shut it and move."
"So...cold...so...tired. Dear God...have...mercy..."
"Bring it inside, and hurry."
"Wha-! B-but your Majesty, we don't know-"
"Silence yourselves and do as she asks!"
"I feel like I've been walkin' for decades. I dunno how much longer I'll be able to...wait...is that...? It is! Heh-heh! Civilization at last! In your *face,** nature!Ha-ha-ha-ha, Ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-" *Whump**
"He's coming around."
"Nicholas" had only opened his eyes a centimeter, and he already saw white light pouring down on him. This caught him off-guard and he thrashed around as if having a seizure. The paramedics tried to hold him down and calm him.
"Whoa, whoa, kid, easy, easy. You're still just recovering from severe dehydration and puncture wounds on your face! Calm down, pal," one of them coaxed.
It took awhile, but he eventually stopped his outburst. There was no way on earth he would open his eyes again, though.
"Oh, man...what happened to me?" he wondered out loud.
"A couple guards found you outside, face down and breathing heavily. You were in one nasty coma, but we healed you right up," another voice explained. This relived Nicholas to no end.
"Well, thanks, doc," he sighed, wiping his brow. "I appreciate your help, bringin' me here and fixin' me back up." He paused and thought about his situation.
"Speaking of which," he continued, "where exactly is here?"
One of the doctors told him plainly, "Canterlot Castle, Medical Ward on the Lunar Wing."
Nicholas stuck his pinkie finger into his ear and chuckled, "Sorry, could you repeat that? I thought I heard you say I was in some whack-ass place called 'Canterlo-"
As he dared to open his eyes to get a bearing of his surroundings, he saw in front of him people with an equine build. He froze in his current position for five seconds before his supporting arm caved in, his eyes rolled back into his head, and he fainted dead away.
/\/\/\/\/\/Just Before Sunrise\/\/\/\/\/\
The last caw of a raven returning to its nest was both close enough to the window and loud enough to pierce the glass that it woke Nicholas from a recovering sleep. He yawned and stretched farther than he ever had before.
"Well, that was an experience," he half-mouthed. "I think I'll chalk that one up for the 'Weirdest Dream of the Year' award," he said again. He scoffed. "Heh. Talking horses. Man, what the fu-"
When he grew accustomed to the light and had rubbed the sleep from his eyes, he froze mid-sentence. He was sitting upright on a large bed covered in royal violet sheets. The room around him was enormous, with tapestries hanging from the walls and a balcony to his right. The windows were open and the light breeze gave off a calming atmosphere, although once Nicholas saw the drapes flowing steadily in the wind, he became extremely paranoid and unnerved. He slowly lifted the silky covers and shuffled over to the glass door and carefully eased it open, stopping short when he heard even the slightest squeak. When he surveyed the outside, he was shocked, amazed, and nervous at the same time. He was in a high tower overlooking a wide courtyard that went back a ways, and was dotted with various detached buildings that he guessed were part of the castle. He couldn't really help but lean on the stone railing and whistle in awe.
"Not...bad," he said at last.
"I know, right?" said a disembodied voice.
Nicholas went rigid for a second and began calling out, "Who!? What!? Where!? And how!?"
"Jeez, calm down," said another, more feminine voice. "And by the way, we're up here."
When Nicholas looked up, he saw two flying horses fitted in golden Roman armor. Their coats were white as snow, and the stallion's blue eyes starkly contrasted with the mare's yellow irises.
None of them said anything for a long while, until the stallion descended to the deck and held out his hand as soon as he straightened up. Nicholas only stared at it, caught in a dilemma between common courtesy and racial distrust. He eventually reached out for the pegasai's hand, albeit, very slowly. The guard shook vigorously when he finally grabbed it.
"Hello, stranger. Good to see you're in better condition than when we found you," he said.
"Yeah," said the mare. "You were out cold right about...over there, I think," and she gestured to where the courtyard met the wild foliage of the mountain.
Nicholas smiled nervously. "Ooo-kay, then," he finally droned out.
The stallion suddenly smacked his forehead. "Bah, where are my manners! My name is Stone Wall, sir, and this..." he said gesturing to the mare, "is Topspin, my sister. We're twins" Topspin dragged her lower eyelid down with her forefinger and blew a raspberry.
Nicholas couldn't help but smile at his awkward situation. Here he was, surrounded by talking horses that could walk erect, and they had just about the same flaws as humans. Feeling a little more at ease, he told Stone, "Pleasure to meet you, Stone. My name's Nicholas, but you can call me Nick if you want. Everyone does, where I'm from." He looked around at the towering castle and wide gardens.
"Speaking of which," Nick continued, "I should probably get home. Now. Do you know the way back to Seattle, Washington?"
Stone Wall looked over at Topspin, who shared the same confused look. He looked back at Nick and said, "Sorry, buddy, I've got no idea what you're talking about. But seeing as how you're not from around here..."
"Big surprise," his sister cut in.
"...I think I do know somepony who could. Two of them, in fact."
"Oh, they must be ponies. Still weird as hell, though," Nick muttered.
"Did you say something?" Stone asked. Nick gave a fast, "No," in reply.
"Alright, then," said Stone. He gestured with his hand back inside the bedroom and to the door on the far side, indicating for Nick to go ahead. Nick bowed his head, and he and the twins filed on through.
"I'll explain whatever you want to know as we walk," Stone said as he held the door open.
"Well, for one thing," Nick said as they entered a long hallway, "who are we going to see?"
Stone thought a minute before saying, "We'll look around for Princess Luna first. During the night, it's easy to find her, but during daytime, she's never around when you need her. I've found the best strategy is to wander aimlessly and hope you bump into her." He chuckled.
"Hasn't failed yet."
Nick laughed and replied, "If it's stupid, but it works..."
"It ain't stupid," Topspin finished for him.
"...and so I told my mom, 'Look, if you didn't want me to do that, you shoulda said somethin'!"
Stone, Topspin, and Nick burst into hysterical laughter. Stone began laughing so hard, he choked and spat out, "It...it's funny 'cause she l-lost her voice!"
"I know, right?" Nick replied. The trio had been wandering around the royal halls for what felt like hours, but they had already started off on good terms.
"Oh, man, you humans are funny," Topspin said, "almost like us, but different enough to laugh at." Her eyes were still wet from the large amount of hysterics.
"Yeah, and even inside our society, we laugh at each other," Nick replied.
"Silence!" a woman's voice echoed through the halls. Everyone shut up. "Hast thou forgotten the first rule of speaking in the corridors? 'Speak easy thine voice unless dire peril arises!' "
"Well, I guess we found Princess Luna," Stone Wall whispered.
"You mean, she found us," Topspin whispered back.
From around a far corner a mare dressed in royal blue robes strode toward Nick and the guards. Luna was almost the same height as Nick, give or take a few inches, and her mane held the night sky in it: twinkling stars highlighted her deep-space blue hair. She was pure eye candy, but at the moment, it probably wasn't a good idea to keep staring at her. She looked pissed, at best.
"Hmph," she sighed, "Perhaps we should have expected it was the resident troublemakers befouling the silence of the castle." Her eyes fell on Nicholas and she gasped. "Oh! Thou hast awoken! We assume thou was making merry with Sir Stone Wall and Madam Topspin?" she inquired.
Nick hesitantly took a step back and cringed. "...'Yea'...?" he answered. Luna's previous expression disappeared and she smiled instead.
"Splendid! We can forgive these transgressions, as thou was not aware of castle law," she said. Stone and Topspin breathed a sigh of relief and wiped their foreheads. Luna continued, "May we ask thy name, stranger?"
"Nicholas H. Detram," he spoke in a proper tone. "Or, just Nick, if it's any easier for you, Princess...Luna, correct?" She nodded modestly. Stone smiled , feeling like the princess had settled down and was on good terms with their visitor. He stepped forward and cleared his throat. Luna turned to face him.
"You wish to inquire something of us, Sir Stone?"
"Yes, your majesty," he said. He cleared his throat again. "Nicholas, as you have guessed, isn't from here, and he wants to go back home. Specifically, a place called, 'Seattle, Washington.' Would you...happen to know any way to help Nick go back?" Luna stared up at the ceiling for a long time, until after what felt like ages, she solemnly shook her head.
"Our apologies, but proposing that Nicholas is from another dimension is beyond even our power," she explained. She continued, "However, our sister might very well be able to do something..."
"And what might that be?"
The trio looked forward down the hall they were in and saw none other than Princess Celestia walking toward them. The angle of the light streaming in from the stained glass windows caught Celestia's right side, accenting her grace. Nick could see she was similar to her sister, with her etheral mane gliding around her head and a robe of pure white that clothed her, a sure sign of godhood. Before he could speak up, Celestia looked at him and said, "Ah, you're awake? I was just on my way to check on you and tell you something."
Upon hearing this, Nick had no idea what to think. He was probably going to get sent home...but there was always the possibility of rejection. And even if he could go back, he was actually starting to get attached to Stone Wall and Topspin.
Celestia was staring out the window. "I don't know if Topspin or Stone Wall has told you or not, but I'm technically the most powerful alicorn in existence. Even so, there are things that are beyond me, and one of them is interdimensional warping." Nick's heart sank into his legs. "I'm sorry, Nicholas, but there's nothing my sister or I can do for you. You'll be staying here for a long time."
Nick was speechless. He was never going to see the friends he left behind. He was never going back to his own house. Never going to live normally again. Equestria was nice, but he was like that one trout in a tank of bettas. Completely different, and probably never going to be accepted into a society where he had nothing in common. He lowered his head and shut his eyes.
"Hey, man, are you...?" Nick turned and ran down the hall and out of sight before Stone could finish his sentence. "Hey, Nick wait up!" Topspin was just about to fly off after him until Celestia held her back.
"Don't worry, dear. I'll go talk to him," she said.
The wind whistled through the mountain spruce trees, and it sang a sad song. A ballad, perhaps. It sang of the forgotten man who stumbled onto a stranger's property and could never go back home. It sang of how he came to learn those sad tidings and where he was now, on a bench, looking back into the woods the way he came.
Nick held his head in his hands and stared longingly back through the trees and up the mountainside. His eyes weren't red from crying because he wasn't all that sad; "depressed" captured his emotional state better. After a few minutes, he got the impression he was being watched.
"Nicholas?"
Nick picked his head up to see Celestia approaching him. He gave her a weak smile and wave. That was all he had the strength for. Celestia came closer and stood above him. Looking up at her face was like standing at the foot of a mountain and trying to glimpse the summit, because even standing up, she was about a foot taller than Nick. She held out her hand and said, "Walk with me. I think it'll do you good."
Since he really had nothing else to do, Nick got up and they began a trek out of the garden and through the Royal City. Neither of them said anything for a long time, but finally, Nick spoke up.
"This is a really nice palace."
Surprised that Nick head even said anything, Celestia answered, "This is actually a city, built a millennia ago by a unicorn tribe as testament to their skill and power. Most of it was turned into the royal palace, recently." She chuckled. "And by 'recently,' I mean a couple-hundred years ago."
Nick smiled. "Nicholas," Celestia began. "I came here to tell you that being stuck here isn't all that bad. It certainly isn't the first time..." Nick perked up.
"What? You mean other humans have inexplicably come here, too?" he asked in amazement. Celestia nodded. "The first recorded contact with your kind was found in a cave high in the northern mountain ranges near the Crystal Empire. There was a prehistoric painting depicting ponies gathered around a tall being dressed in flashy, aristocratic clothes, and he held glowing scrolls in each hand. The ponies appeared to be holding him above them, as if he was a god."
Nick was speechless and fascinated. He wanted to hear more. "There was a second time," Celestia continued. "Sometime after the various pony tribes activated The Fire of Friendship, another human appeared in Equestria." Nick listened intently. "He was dressed in green, his face burned and dirty, and he wielded a stick that could shoot fast, small, deadly projectiles. He called it a 'gun.' "
"Wait a minute...you met an actual World War One veteran? That...that's insane!" Nick exclaimed.
Celestia smiled modestly and said, "Our third run-in with a human is you. You should be honored to have been accepted."
" 'Accepted?' "
"Yes. I know it sounds confusing, but I and a few of my subjects have come to believe that there is a higher power that calls your kinsmen to Equestria for a purpose," she said. "The first man, he is suspected to have taught ponykind the secrets of fire and agriculture and the soldier taught ponykind how to organize their new society when they all joined forces." She stopped and looked high into the clear blue sky. "I wonder what you can accomplish...?"
She stayed there, looking up for a few minutes while Nick stared at her in awe. He had never met a monarch so compassionate, so sincere, so wise...so motherly. She finally finished her daydreaming and turned back to Nicholas.
"I'm sorry, Nick, if I may call you that. I suppose I should show you around the city, seeing as you'll be staying here awhile," Celestia said.
"Oh, thanks, princess-" Nick stopped short. "Wait...I'll be living here?" His jaw almost dropped. Celestia smiled. "Of course," she told him. "The foreigners, the strangers, the lost...they're all welcome here...you know, you're very modest, Nick. I like that." That's when his jaw dropped.
Celstia turned and walked ahead of the still-dumbfounded Nicholas. After noticing he wasn't at her side, she turned and motioned for him to follow. Nick only stared for a minute before coming around and running to catch up.
"...And back to the entrance hall," Celestia finished.
Celestia had taken Nick all around the castle and its grounds, starting with the foyer. It had taken nearly two hours, but the castle was absolutely fantastic, and Nick enjoyed seeing some of the places that were normally off-limits, like the Solar Guard's Barracks.
"It's nice, isn't it?" Celestia said. Nick nodded. The hall was long, and both sides held stained-glass windows depicting portraits of the Princesses, the Elements of Harmony, and various scenes of Equestrian lore. The ceiling was almost pure white, accenting the colorful marble tiles of violet and gold. Nick kept staring and thought out loud, "It's missing something, though."
Celestia turned to Nicholas and asked, "Hmm? 'It's missing something?' What do you mean by that?" Nick jumped back a little, not realizing how loud he had spoken. He didn't want to give the impression that he didn't like the interior.
"Oh, this is nice, don't get me wrong, your majesty. Hell, it's beautiful. I think it's just...it's missing that pop, you know?"
Celestia stared at him with an eyebrow raised. Nick coughed awkwardly and continued, "Well, see, if someone was to walk in, I know they'd be blown away by the...everything, I guess, but I think there needs to be something that really catches the eye...like a painting! A big mural, right across the freaking ceiling!" He had been gesturing wildly, waving his hands from one end of the corridor to the other. He realized what he was doing and put his hands down, hoping he hadn't looked too stupid.
Celestia looked up and thought for a minute. Then she smiled and said, "You're ambitious, aren't you?"
Nick rolled his eyes. "My friends would think so."
"Do you really think you can do it?" she asked. Nick looked at her in disbelief. "Wait, are you saying I can seriously paint the ceiling?"
Celestia nodded. "Of course," she said. "Maybe you can get Stone Wall and Topspin to help you." Nick glanced up at the white stucco. He grinned.
They were silent for awhile until Celestia said, "Do you want to stay in that room we put you in when we found you?"
"Does anyone else use it?" Nick replied. Celestia shook her head.
"Well, then I guess I can't refuse," he finished. He started walking up the stairs that led to the upper floors. Before he got out of earshot Celestia called, "Hey, by the way, why did you suggest painting the hall?"
Nick turned and said, "Well, I don't want to be sitting on my ass in my room, being useless." He laughed a little, then went back upstairs.
