Applejack is in a tight spot at the moment. Her sales have been declining recently, there are bills that need to be paid, and Granny still needs a hip replacement.

So, in the interest drumming up more business, Applejack hires a certain salesperson to win the hearts and minds of Ponyville.

This goes just as well as you'd expect it to.

A story I wrote drunkenly with my bro, Sabre. Dedicated to the memory of the late Billy Mays. Commercials truly aren't the same without him. May he rest in peace.