Silk Road’s trade caravan was an unusual sight in Equestria. Normally, goods would be traded via the rail lines or by waterway. However, both ways have inspection points where the goods are searched for contraband; since the entirety of Silk Road’s merchandise was illegal, neither method was valid. Therefore, the goods were loaded into a dozen wagons that could be pulled by earth ponies and lifted by pegasi. Six additional wagons carried food and camping supplies for the seventy-five pony team. Traveling by main road is not an option either, because a caravan of their size would attract too much attention, be it from bandits or Knights. Since a vast majority of the Knights of the Empress are pegasi, there was only one established route that connected Manehatten to Trotlantis while. Silk Road explained the route to Twilight.

“First the caravan will proceed west out of Manehatten, passing through the forests just north of Hollow Shades. Beyond there, the caravan will be out of Orange Family territory. After a night’s rest, the caravan will split into six groups of three wagons, two merchandise wagons and one supply wagon, and twelve ponies. Starting at the six o’clock sunrise, one team will leave on the hour every hour. This is to reduce the caravan’s visibility to fliers overhead. The hard run to the caverns of the great peak should take approximately five-and-a-half hours, meaning that the last team should be arriving near sundown.

“After a night in the caverns, the caravan will emerge from the southern exit and march for a day through Rambling Rock Ridge, then turn west and camp at the eastern end of the Everfree forest. Come sunrise on the fourth day, the caravan will march on a hidden trail past the ruins of the Castle of the Pony Sisters, then between Everfree Forest and Foggy Bottom Bog to set up camp at the western end of the forest.

“The fifth day will again see the caravan split up for an uncovered stretch. While the physical distance of this stretch is not the longest, it is by far the most dangerous in terms of being discovered. The grassy hills between the Everfree Forest and White Tail Woods are in the geographic center of the area between Cloudsdale, Ponyville, Los Pegasus, and Trotlantis. The amount of traffic is very high, and proportionally, so is the chance of being caught.

“The sixth day is an easy stroll through White Tail Woods. There shouldn’t be any bandits or wild beasts. We set up camp at the northwestern corner, at the base of Smokey Mountain. At this point, the merchandise will be offloaded and smuggled into the city over the course of two days. Once everything is inside, it is everypony for themselves. Each wagon team will leave at a separate time and head in a separate direction. At this point, your job is done and you will get your pay. Is this understood, Twilight Sparkle?”

Twilight looked down at the map, mentally drawing out the route.

Confirming that she knew the plan, she rolled up and passed the map back to Silk Road. “Good, now go get ready. We leave in twenty minutes.”

The trip from Manehatten to Ponyville would have only taken one and a half days by train. Silk Road expected her seventy-five pony team to cross 60% of that distance on hoof in two days. Worse, she expected it done on unpaved roads, no less. Theoretically, it was doable, but the feat would be a hectic dash even at the supposed “easy pace” Silk Road wanted to set.

However, looking at Silk Road’s caravan crew, there was not a single out-of-shape pony in sight. Even Silk Road herself, as well as the other non-pulling crewmembers, was in excellent physical condition.

Twilight herself was no slacker. Having long since known the mental and physical benefits of exercise, mainly that it helped her beat up other ponies easier, Twilight had a vigorous exercise routine. Still, her self-improvement routine tended to focus on power over endurance. Twilight worried that week of consecutive stretches of hard travel and late nights would impair her ability to guard the caravan. Nevertheless, she would persevere.

A voice snapped Twilight out of her musing. “You ready, missy?” The stallion who had addressed her was a pale grey pegasus with a silvery mane.

“Yes, sir,” Twilight replied.

“Ah, no ‘sir’ for me. I’m not important enough for that. Call me Nails,” the stallion said, extending his hoof. Twilight extended hers and they shook.

“I’m Twilight Sparkle.”

“Mercenary girl? I’d say you don’t look like much, but I saw that little display earlier. The fuck did you do?”

Twilight grinned savagely. “Magic.”

Nails snorted and rolls his eyes. “Magic, she says. Girl, magic doesn’t work that way.”

Suddenly, Nails found himself enveloped in a purple aura. The world around him started to grow, or rather, he started to shrink. When he was about six inches tall, Twilight bent down over him and looked the tiny stallion in the eye. “My magic works the way I say it works. I’m a freak in that regard, and I love it.”

“Change me back already!” Nails cried in an extremely high-pitched voice. A second later, he found himself restored to his full height, a good three inches taller than the mare in front of him.

“If you need more proof,” Twilight said, “I could always dangle you over the campfire. What do you say?”

“No, no, missy, I’m good. I’m good.”

“Thought so.”

At 9:30 AM, the caravan set off for the west coast city of Trotlantis. Twilight noticed that only two out of every four pony team was actually pulling their cart. The other two stood on the front while wearing harnesses similar to the pulling pair.
Twilight picked up her pace and moved alongside Nails. Yelling out to be heard over the thunder of hooves and wheels, she asked the pegasus, “What’s with the ponies that are just standing on the carts? I thought Silk Road doesn’t tolerate dead weight.”

Nails snorted. “No, missy, you got that right. They are the spares. See the wooden mechanism near where the harnesses meet the wagon? When the runner tires out, those are flipped out by the spare and hang a few inches above the ground, just to the side of the runner. He can then jump on it to clear a space for the spare, who then jumps down and hits the ground galloping. The first runner can then climb back up into the cart and retract the platform. My brother, Gizmo, designed the system. Our team is the only cart pullers in the world that can switch to a fresh set of hooves without even slowing down,” he said smugly.

“Impressive.” Twilight thought for a moment while the rumble of hooves fading into the background. “Wouldn’t that take a lot of coordination? To hit the ground at galloping speeds and not stumble would surely be quite difficult.”

“It is, missy, but we’re the best,” Nails said, his chest puffed out in pride.

“I’d have to agree,” Nails’ pulling partner said. “We do a run a month. It’s good money and all it takes is a little blood, sweat, and tears. I never was much of a thinker. Oh, where are my manners, the name’s Bandwagon. Those two up there,” Bandwagon gestured up to silent pair of stallions riding on the cart, “are the Patchwork Twins. Duct is the dark-grey one and Tape is the light grey one.” They nodded their greeting to Twilight. “You’ll never see one without the other.”

Twilight’s stomach growled as she ran. The caravan had entered the unnamed forests surrounding the village of Hollow Shades over an hour ago, yet Silk Road had made no move to call a halt for lunch. By this point, Twilight was getting rather grouchy. Four hours of running had made its dent in the mare’s energy reserves. It was at this point that a call came out from Nails. Turning her head to see why he had called out, Twilight saw the platforms being pushed out for Nails and Bandwagon. Within ten seconds, the Patchwork Twins had taken their place.

Looking back, Twilight saw other teams doing the same thing. Stumbling on a small rock, the unicorn resumed her focus back on the trail ahead. “You alright, missy?” Nails called out.

“Yes, I’m fine,” Twilight replied. “Are we going to be stopping to eat anytime soon?”

“Nope,” Bandwagon answered before Nails could. “Get us some grub, Nails.” The Pegasus hovered over to the supply wagon and began to fish for something in the boxes onboard. The earth pony gestured to a step on the side of the wagon. “Climb up. We eat on the run.”

Instead of climbing up like suggested, Twilight flashed her horn. With a pop, Twilight vanished from her spot on the trail and reappeared in the cart. She smirked at the slack-jawed earth pony, who seemed to be at a loss for words.
Nails returned with a hoof-full of what looked to be wrapped sandwiches. Chuckling, he said, “Further proof of why I don’t want to mess with you. Tell me, how do you fight a swordsmare who can get behind you in the blink of an eye? Sandwich?” he asked, offering one that he had retrieved a moment ago.

“No thanks.” Reaching her hoof into her pocket space, she drew out a hoof-full of carrots and began munching. Between bites, she said, “You have to know an anti-teleportation spell. Since my brother and sister are the only two other ponies in the world who can do that, that doesn’t help you much. I personally would suggest dropping your weapon and surrendering, unless of course I’ve been paid to kill you. Then your best bet is to run, hide, and pray to the Empress that I don’t find you.”

Bandwagon shuddered. Nails, however, asked, “I don’t mean to be rude, but what are you?”

“I don’t know, some sort of deformed earth pony? We never did figure out what we are,” Twilight said.

The cart jerked, knocking around the occupants of the cart. A quick apology from tape drifted across the passenger’s ears. “So, that horn…” Bandwagon said before trailing off.

“I don’t know why I have it. I do know that I have to file it down every few weeks; it grows almost as fast as my mane. Shining Armor, my brother, grew his back after his broke off.”

“Your brother has it, too?” Nails asked.

“And my sister, Trixie, too. Strangely, she’s not related to us by blood. Our horns act something like an ear and a set of lungs and vocal cords. Well, not exactly. You see, I can sense magic with my horn, similarly to how your ears hear sound. Then I can make my own magic well up as I ‘sing’ my will onto the world. Of course, it’s much more complicated than that and everything I do takes energy.” Twilight paused to eat more of her carrots.

“Of the three of us, I’m the jack-of-all, master-of-none. I can do any spell I’ve sensed even once, can create a new spell after only a few hours of work, and have the largest magic reserve any of us has ever observed in any pony. I would suspect that the Empress is stronger, but that is beside the point. However, I’m a slower caster and more inefficient than my siblings.

“My brother can be best described with the words ‘no pain.’ He can kill you instantly from as far away as he can see you. Yet at the same time, his magic is very defensive. Shiny has the strongest shield and can re-attach a limb in ten minutes.”

Bandwagon spluttered, bits of sandwich flying from his muzzle. “Reattach limbs? No way.”

“Yep. Mind you, that was his own leg. Healing others takes far longer and far more energy. We’re not sure why.” Twilight rolled her eyes in annoyance. “Anyway, then there is Trixie. While she is magically the weakest of us, she is still exceptionally dangerous. She can hijack all five normal senses and make you experience anything she can imagine. Should she want to, Trixie can read minds. She hasn’t done so in a long time and won’t explain why. The only part of the story I ever got out of her was ‘linguini.’”

“I’d imagine that’s quite a tale, missy,” Nails replied.

“I’m sure it is.”

The Adventures of the Great and Powerful Trixie!
Episode 1: Why Danger Signs Must Never Be Ignored.

Trixie was curious. Whatever this object was, whatever it did, her client wanted it really badly. And judging by the location, this object must be insanely valuable. After all, this was Fort Klops, the home of the most secure vault in pony history. At least, it was for anypony besides Trixie.
Opening the first vault door with a quick application of telekinesis on the locks, she paused when she saw a second vault door. Double checking that her illusions were in place, she walked up to read the sign by the door handle.

DANGER! KEEP OUT!
STORAGE FOR ARTIFACTS FROM THE DISCORDIAN ERA!

’The Discordian era? Then these artifacts are over a thousand years old!’ Trixie thought. As her horn worked the locks, the blue mare’s heart filled with greed. Upon opening the door, Trixie looked inside, saw the object, and ran away screaming and empty-hooved.

It took two minutes and sixteen seconds from when the thief opened the vault door to when the guards had fought through the nightmarish illusions and reached the vault door. However, the sight they encountered within the vault was far more horrifying than any of the waking nightmares before. The vault was empty.

“OH, CELESTIA! THE TWILICANE HAS ESCAPED!”

And so Equestria fell to the onslaught of over-used memes.

Author's Note

*Ding* Have a chapter and a Great and Powerful Omake. I plan on doing shorts for all of Twilight's family. Maybe even one per chapter. Expect a "Spike the Noble Dragon Lord" and a "Shining's Log Entry" episode soon.

This chapter felt way to heavy in terms of exposition, so I decided that I needed some comedy at the end for a good laugh. This is me poking fun at the Twilicane meme.

One more thing that I will hint at, Twilight, Shiny, and Trixie don't have their canon cutie marks. Different childhood = different talents = different mark. They will still be similar to their old cutie marks.

In case you couldn't see the map of their route above, you can click it again, here. This is the canon map of Equestria. My Equestria has two differences: (1) Canterlot doesn't exist, and (2) Trotlantis is on the west coast where the X is.

This is one of the longest chapters I have written. I personally like reading longer chapters but writing shorter ones. I've had complaints that my chapters are not long enough, so this is my attempt to correct that. Enjoy!