Pump

by SleepIsforTheWeak

Chapter the First

Load Full Story

Downtown Manehattan, Equestria. 8:31pm

Twenty was a pointless age. So was nineteen, now that she thought about it—the two numbers were situated between the two ‘big’ ages of eighteen and twenty one. Nothing happened when a pony turned twenty.

Twenty one was a milestone, an age of reckless abandon once alcohol drinking became legal, even though in most places around Equestria alcohol was easy to come by before that age. But regardless, twenty one was an age of just old enough without being old at all.

Eighteen was when a pony finally felt mature. Free from the yolk of childhood, but still able to hold on to that comforting ‘-teen’ suffix.

So for Applejack, when she turned twenty in November, 2019, it was nothing but a number, really. Hell, even next year when she turned twenty-one, it would still be just a number to her; she’d been drinking for years now.

“Come on, AJ, hurry up so we can get out of the rain!” Her best friend, Dash, laughed. “You know how much you hate storms!”

Just then, a crackle of thunder shook the sky violently and Applejack, walking on a very busy sidewalk, halted, a trickle of dread shooting down her spine as she tried to look inconspicuous. “Thanks, Dashie,” she grumbled as she walked faster to catch up with her.

Thunderstorms made her uneasy; had done so since she was a foal and she had carried the mild fear into her adulthood, much to her embarrassment and Dash’s amusement.

“S’cuse you,” Applejack muttered bitingly toward a mare who bumped into her. She winded through the ponies with her umbrella held securely in her grip to keep her freshly washed mane from becoming rain soaked.

She caught up to Dash, who fell into step with her. The only sensible part of Dash’s outfit was a sweater to fight off the chilled night air—something she had complained about for at least a quarter of the walk over to the restaurant, with good reason. The thing was brown and ugly, and now sagged on Dash's athletic frame, heavy with rainwater since Dash carried no umbrella to protect herself.

Wearing clothes was something that the ponies of today could not settle their minds on whether or not they wanted to do. Statistically speaking, most everypony nowadays wore at least something daily—usually a top or a coat of some sort, since bottoms made walking a bit awkward. Naturally, if one was to stroll around without any clothes on, that was fine too, but most were pressured to submit.

The door to the restaurant was already being opened by a tall, slender mare as Applejack neared it and she sped up even more, noticing that the mare seemed to be holding the door for them. She caught it easily once there with a grateful smile in the mare’s direction.

“Such a gentlepony,” Dash teased in a faux-dreamy voice when she walked through the door Applejack held open, and then ducked her half-hearted punch easily.

“‘S called having manners, ass,”

She wrung out her umbrella before letting the door slam closed behind her and walking inside.

For a Thursday evening the restaurant wasn’t very crowded and her tense shoulders drooped somewhat at the possibility of being served quickly.

It was a quiet atmosphere with dimmed lights, the perfect place for the non-eventful birthday dinner Applejack had been hoping for. She caught a waitress’s eye and smiled while pointing to a nearby table in question. The waitress nodded with a grin, and Applejack began to take off her coat as she and Dash walked toward a nearby booth.

“Okay, I don’t know what to order here, AJ,” Dash admitted as she settled into the booth. There were already menus there and she grabbed one, opening it with a confused frown. “I can’t even pronounce half this stuff.”

“I’m ordering the black bean soup—you can get that if you’d like.” Applejack offered.

“Spicy?” she asked, eyes searching the menu for the item in question.

Applejack’s head tilted. “If you want.”

Dash closed her menu with finality. “That’s what I want.” She flagged down the same waitress they had seen earlier and they ordered quickly. Once she was gone, Dash waggled her eyebrows at AJ from across the booth. “Going out drinking tonight?”

Applejack settled further into the booth with a sigh. “I don’t know, Rainbow. I kind of don’t feel up to it.”

Dash frowned. “Come on. You’ve been a wet blanket for the last few months. What’s gotten into you?”

She glanced out the window to the rivulets of rain streaking down in various patterns on the other side. “I don’t know,” she said quietly.

“I think you miss being a blade runner.”

Applejack laughed once, hard, and turned to Dash. “I hated that job, y’all know that.”

“It gave you a rush, though.”

“Riskin’ my life by retiring androids don’t give me a rush.”

Dash shrugged. “Gives me one.”

Applejack eyed her for a long moment. “How’s it been lately? You don’t talk about it much.”

“Nothing’s going on,” Dash admitted. “I just sit at my desk all day collecting checks while we wait for something interesting to happen, like one of those skin-jobs getting away from Blueblood Corp and onto the streets.”

Applejack hummed noncommittally at her answer. She drew the straw in her glass nearer and took a sip. Extra money in her pocket would have been great right now, frankly, but there would be no way she’d go back to that job.

The door to the restaurant chimed, and Applejack’s eyes cut over to the mare standing in the doorway. Then her eyes rolled. Fluttershy, still wearing her scrubs, walked into the restaurant.

Dash’s face split into a grin. “Hey, ‘Shy, over here!”

Fluttershy caught sight of Rainbow and waved back, making her way over. Applejack had known the other mare longer than she’d known Dash, which was a damn long time. The three of them had more or less grown up together in Ponyville once Fluttershy settled in near Applejack’s family’s farm when she was just a filly, and Rainbow came not long after that.

The three of them had a long tangled history that included Applejack dating Dash for a short, meaningless stint when she was younger and full of curiosity, creating a friendship void between Fluttershy and herself because of some sort of complicated, one-sided love triangle, and, well, that had ended that. It was a past that they all decided to not mention when all three of them were together, but frequently talked about when one-on-one situations presented themselves.

“Hello,” Fluttershy greeted with a wide grin as she saddled up to the table. “Happy birthday.”

From behind her back she produced a bouquet of roses that Applejack smiled indulgently at. “Thanks, Flutters.”

Dash smirked at the two of them in amusement, hiding it behind a sip of her drink. She subtly slid toward the end of her booth to let Fluttershy sit down.

“Did you order already?” Fluttershy asked, neatly tucking into the booth.

Applejack nodded. “Do you want me to get the waitress so you can order?”

Fluttershy shook her head. “No thank you. I don’t have much of an appetite. How have you been, Applejack?”

Applejack shot her a flat look. “I work the same dead end job everyday—what’s not to be well about?”

“Oh, come on, AJ, it can’t be that bad,” Dash cajoled.

“No, of course not,” Applejack bit out sarcastically. “I just sit around every day answering calls from mares that have cats stuck in trees or dead beat coltfriends who won’t pay child support. It’s great.”

“How’re your ribs doing?” Fluttershy asked after a short moment.

Since resigning from being a blade runner, a law enforcement agent who specialized in retiring androids called ‘replicants’, Applejack had since fallen down the food chain of importance at work. She had gone from running down androids to running down stallions who refused to pay child support. Two weeks ago she had chased a stallion down three blocks and into an alleyway. She had been rapidly gaining on him when out of nowhere he threw a trashcan into her path. She had fallen over it and landed harshly on her side, thus bruising her ribs.

He had gotten away.

And that was when Applejack had realized that her life had bottomed out. She was in a rut at age twenty, and had nothing that could really get her out of it.

“Should have stayed a blade runner,” Dash sing-songed.

“Bite me,” Applejack shot back.

“Gladly. Where?” Dash smirked. “I’m so dragging you to the club with me tonight,” She laughed while Applejack sneered at her.”You’ll still have to hold the bartender at gunpoint until he forgets your age and gives you a shot, though.”

Applejack’s lips quirked in spite of her annoyance at the comment as old memories came to mind. “I wasn’t that bad.”

“You nearly got as us banned that night!”

“Umm, excuse me, Ms. Apple?”

All three of them looked up to the waitress in front of them. Applejack’s eyes briefly drifted to the cops standing by the doorway before she looked over at the waitress again. It was the same waitress who greeted them with a smile when they stepped in, looking worried now. Applejack plastered on a fake smile. “How may I help you?”

“Those stallions over there are looking for you,” she said, gesturing to the cops by the doorway.

“Holy shit,” Dash whispered.

“And you as well, Ms. Dash.”

Dash straightened in her seat to eye the stallions behind her by the door. She swiveled back around to face Applejack. “Those are my guys, AJ. No idea what they’re doing here, though.”

“I’m not going with them,” Applejack declared flatly.

“It’s probably best if we do. Don’t want to get arrested on your birthday, do you?”

It would have probably been the most exciting thing to happen to her in a while, actually.

“C’mon. Let’s just go see what they want.” Dash slid out of the booth. “You go home, Flutters. They don’t seem to want you, and there’s no reason for you to have to go downtown.”

Fluttershy slid out of the booth too, eyeing the cops nervously. “Call me when you get home so I can know you’re okay?”

“Yeah, sure,” Applejack replied noncommittally as she stared at the cops. There were three of them; burly and they stood straight, with guns in their holsters that Applejack didn’t doubt they knew how to use well.

She came to a stop directly in front of them with belligerent posture as Dash stood at her side. “I heard you wanted to see me,” she said quietly, eyes darting to all three of them.

They smiled.


Spitfire's Office, Blade Runner sector of the Manehattan PD, Manehattan, Equestria. 9:56pm

“I have a proposition for you.”

“No.”

Spitfire, Applejack’s former boss, chuckled heartily as she sat at her desk, legs propped up on important documents like they meant nothing. “Come on, AJ, hear me out.”

“No,” Applejack reiterated, simply but firmly. “You had your officers arrested from my birthday dinner with friends to bring me down here because you want me to work for you? No. You’ve gone drunk on power and you think you can boss everyone around, but you’re not going to do it to me.”

Spitfire’s lips twisted as she stared at her desk. She removed her legs and scooted closer to the desk to clasp her hoofs on it and look at Applejack with narrowed eyes. “I’ll increase your pay. You’ll make more here with us in a week than you’ll make in a month as a run of the mill cop.”

“No.”

Spitfire sighed. “I’ll throw in enough to pay for you to send back home.”

Applejack opened her mouth, but paused, closing it again as she mulled over Spitfire’s deal. The farm she had grown up on wasn’t doing too hot. Hell, it wasn’t doing too hot when she was growing up on it; the advancing of technology needed space, but so did farms—and the local government saw no need for such a rural thing so close to the capital. After all, most of the farming had moved up north into the Unicorn Range or down south to Appleosa. It didn’t matter that Ponyville was founded as a rural farming town; the times had caught up to it.

“Come on,” Spitfire goaded. “That’s what you’ve been saving up your money for, right? To save that little farm of yours? Hear me out.”

Applejack folded forelegs tightly across her chest as she glared across the desk at Spitfire. “You have two minutes.”

“I’ll need five,” Spitfire said nonchalantly. She tapped her hoof on the surface of her glass desk, and an image appeared on the vast glass wall behind her. “Two weeks ago a spaceship crash landed. Twenty-five ponies were killed by five replicants who are now on the loose.”

“Two weeks ago?” Applejack hissed incredulously. “This happened two weeks ago and you’re just handling it now?”

“That’s because it’s just been brought to my attention now. An hour ago, to be exact. Blueblood Corp. had been trying to keep this under wraps and handle it themselves. Problem is they don’t even know where their own replicants are.”

“Don’t they keep tracking devices on those skin-jobs?” Applejack spat.

Spitfire shook her head. “Apparently not. Now look, I’m offering you extra pay and a team to work with if you can hunt these androids down and retire them quietly. I don’t want the public to know about this, AJ. You know how nervous they’ve gotten about replicants lately.”

“And with good reason,” Applejack insisted. “You remember what a hot mess it was two years ago when Blueblood tried to give those replicants emotions.”

It had been a disaster. The once docile androids had turned into disobedient terrors who often threatened the lives of their owners. They had started being reported one by one to the blade runner precinct until Blueblood Corp was forced to shut them down.

Recently, the replicants had been used in outer space to aid technicians in their plans to create life sustainable atmospheres on other planets. Applejack had heard nothing out of the occasional act up for months. But this was simply horrific. Twenty-five dead, and the murderers were all over Manehattan and could truthfully be anywhere by now. It had been two weeks, after all.

“The only good thing is that they’re not like their predecessors,” Spitfire said. “These are right back to the basics. They may look like us, act like us, but when it comes to this—” Spitfire gestured toward her heart. “Nothing but a light show. You’ll be able to spot them.”

Slowly, Applejack shook her head back and forth. “I can’t do this,” she declared with finality. “No, I can’t. I said the very last time that I quit. Do you know how dangerous this job is, Spitfire? Do you even care?” Applejack quickly stood from her seat and grabbed her coat. “You probably don’t because you aren’t going to be the one fighting something three times as strong and fast as you are. I won’t do this.”

Applejack walked over to the door, and grabbed the handle to walk out.

“Okay,” Spitfire chirped. “Then I’ll just haul your brother in for extortion. Put him away for probably five to ten years considering he’s been doing it for a while.”

Applejack stopped dead in her tracks. Her shoulders rose with tension as she spun around to face Spitfire. “You wouldn’t dare.”

Spitfire smiled roguishly. “I’ll see you Monday.”


Blade Runner sector of the Manehattan PD, Manehattan, Equestria. 7:32am

After leaving a rather colorful and lengthy voicemail on Mac’s answering machine last night, Applejack had reported to work the next day. Nearly everyone who worked there several months ago when she was still a blade runner was there now. Everyone was in one giant room, several desks strewn about with loud ringing phones. Berry Punch still worked in the same desk towards the right. Cloud Kicker still sat at the edge of her desk taking personal calls as she had when Applejack had been working there.

She did not miss this job by any stretch of the imagination. The clopping of her hoofs became muffled as she continued walking, stepping onto carpeted floors.

“Yo, AJ!”

Applejack turned to find Dash heading towards her. She looked like an excited puppy as she hurried towards AJ and wrapped her in a bear hug. “Didn’t think you’d show,” she whispered in her ear.

“I didn’t have much choice,” was Applejack’s wry retort. The only good thing to come out of this was literally the double pay she would be receiving considering hunting androids was an unpredictable and risky line of work. They were made to be non-violent beings, but living in a violent world often taught them new tricks.

Dash pulled back to rake her eyes appreciatively down her body. “Looking good, AJ.”

“Get off it, Dash.”

Again? Are you fucking serious?”

Both Dash and Applejack turned to the stallion screaming on the phone in the corner of the office. He was short and balding and too old to be working a job that could overly excite him like this, Applejack thought.

Fuck!” the stallion declared, glasses falling down the bridge of his nose. He lifted them higher with a shaky hoof and looked up to find the office mostly silent save for about three ringing phones. Everypony’s attention was on him, and he murmured a brusque goodbye to the pony on the line, face grim as he hung up the phone. He heaved a deep sigh. “One of our EPR test administrators was killed by one of those damn skin-jobs,” he growled.

It was like a hush fell over the room; even the phones had stopped ringing. Applejack watched critically as the old stallion seemed to crumple back into his seat. He brought a hoof to his mouth as his entire frame shuddered.

Blinking, Applejack looked around as ponies slowly went back to their desks, the room solemn and silent. She jumped when Dash placed a hoof on her shoulder and looked up at her. Her lips were twisted and she bit her bottom one before speaking. “This is the first time any of them have actually killed anyone in Equestria. Things are a lot closer to home now.”

Applejack nodded, feeling rattled as the severity of the situation began to weigh down on her.

One of the doors in the back of the room dramatically swung open and Applejack turned around as her former boss turned current came storming out of the office. She took one look at Applejack and pointed at her then over her shoulder. “You—in my office.”

Everyone in the room looked at Applejack as she walked forward into Spitfire’s office, Dash following.

She closed the door behind them, and Applejack’s gaze washed over the new pony in the room.

“Lightning Dust—Applejack. Applejack—Lightning Dust,” Spitfire introduced with disinterest. “Now that we’ve all caught up, we can’t talk business.” She sat down at her seat around the desk and looked up at Applejack, brow furrowing in confusion. “Have a seat,” she cried incredulously.

Applejack walked over toward the seat beside Lighting Dust and sat down, giving her a small smile.

“So, you’re the Applejack who used to work around here,” Lightning prompted. Her eyes raked down Applejack’s body for a moment. “Cute,” she concluded. “I see you’re still in shape. Good. Just don’t get in my way.”

“Don’t get in mine,” Applejack instantly retorted.

“Great, we’re all out of each other’s way,” Spitfire concluded as Dash sat down on the other side of Applejack. “We need to get down to business.” She picked up a blue folder in front of her and opened it. There was a stack of papers inside and Applejack leaned forward in interest as Spitfire turned them around to face the three of them.

“Five, right?” Applejack asked as Spitfire spread the five sheets of papers out.

“Five,” Spitfire confirmed. “Five replicants that we need to retire. As you know they have superior strength and speed, so tread lightly.” Her expression was grave as she eyed all of them. “We already have one pony dead, twenty-six total now. I don’t need my operatives dying, too.”

They all remained silent, glancing at the names on each paper to acquaint themselves with the replicants they would have to be tracking down in the streets later. It was a pain that replicants were androids, looking so much like ponies that finding them was needle-in-a-haystack difficult.

Spitfire stood up, bracing one hoof on the desk and pointing at the paper in front of Dash with the other. “Hoops,” she said.

Dash snorted. “They have names now?”

“Blueblood had ordered so many built over time that they needed names as a way of classification.” They all focused back on the paper and the descriptions that were listed below Hoops’ name. “Combat model—and freaking huge from what I’ve heard from our surveillance.”

“I hate surveillance,” Dash grumbled. “They don’t do anything but… look.”

“Makes you wanna kick ‘em in the lens cap, if you know what I mean,” Lightning Dust griped, and Dash cracked a small smile. She liked a fellow smart ass.

Anyway,” Spitfire continued, “just watch out for this one. He’s bigger than all of you.” She shot Dash a lingering look, then turned to the next sheet of paper.

She pointed to the second paper. “Cherry Jubilee—loader for nuclear fission.”

“That doesn’t sound too good,” Dash said.

“Just make sure when you trap her, she isn’t near chemicals,” Spitfire muttered as she moved on to the third paper. “Flash Sentry—pleasure model, for sex.”

Applejack’s face twisted as she stared down at the colorful descriptions of all he could do. “Oh, eww.”

“They couldn’t have gotten anyone hotter?” Lightning Dust wondered with a frown as she read through his description and nearly gagged.

“Android building supplies were obviously at an all-time low,” Spitfire concluded with a nod. She placed her hoof on the fourth sheet of paper. “Parish Nandermane—entertainment. Says here he was a harp player.”

Entertainment?” Dash spat. “See—this is the shit I’m talking about. They build all of these fucking androids and expect us to clean up the mess when one, two, or all of them go crazy!”

“This really is stupid,” Applejack agreed as her eyes scanned over all the papers. Of them all, Hoops seemed to be the biggest, Flash possibly the easiest to take down since his only function was literally sex.

“Luckily the government has stepped in and stopped production,” Spitfire said. “After this it’ll finally be over.”

“If we’re alive,” Lightning Dust grumbled.

“Oh, so you’re taking this seriously now?” Applejack couldn’t help but inquire in sarcasm.

Lightning shrugged a shoulder, crossing her forelegs over her chest. “I got a girl. Won’t be of use to her if I’m dead, so…”

Applejack’s lips parted in muted shock at the admission. She bit her lip and turned back to Spitfire who was on the fifth sheet of paper. “Blue Moon who specializes in communication. From what I’ve heard he’s a sweet talker, so be careful.”

“Sounds cute,” Lightning Dust commented.

Applejack rolled her eyes. “So, where do we go from here?”

“You and you,” Spitfire began, pointing to Dash and Lightning. “I want you to work closely with surveillance today. Gather what information you can about the replicants and report it back to me.” Her eyes then focused heavily on Applejack. “And you will be going to Blueblood’s Corporation. Dr. Rock will be waiting for you.”

Applejack’s face turned ashen as her lips curled back in disdain. “Why do I have to be the one do talk to him?”

“Because of your impeccable charm,” Spitfire deadpanned.


Blade Runner sector of the Manehattan PD, Manehattan, Equestria. 11:46am

“AJ? Hey, AJ!”

Applejack turned around at the exit of the precinct to find Lightning Dust fluttering towards her.

She came to a full stop in front of Applejack. “You don’t mind if I call you, AJ, do you?”

“Actually—”

“Great!” Lightning grinned deviously at the grim expression on Applejack’s face. “Anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to have lunch. I mean, I’m trusting you with my life; the least you could do is buy a girl some grub.”

Applejack shifted her weight, rolling her eyes in exasperation. But she wasn’t too keen on going to Blueblood’s Corporation either, and stalling with lunch wasn’t too bad of an alternative. “Sure. I’ll drive.”

“And pay,” Lightning added.


Joe's Place, 34th Street, Manehattan, Equestria. 12:19pm

“So, why did you get into blade running anyway?” Lightning asked around a mouth full of dinner roll. Applejack was quickly learning that Lightning Dust was crude and lacking in the manner department. “A mare like you just screams farm.”

Applejack chuckled at how apt the description was as she drew her straw nearer for a sip of her ginger ale. “I was looking for a job,” Applejack said simply. “And Dash—the mare we’re working with?” Lightning nodded. “She’s my best friend. She was already a blade runner and told me they were paying pretty well, and that I could use the money.”

Lightning Dust’s eyebrow shot up. “So, are you and Color Wheel fucking?”

“I—no,” Applejack said in hesitation. She didn’t really know how to answer the question, because yes, she and Dash had slept together once, but it wasn’t good and ancient history between them now. History that she didn’t want to share with somepony she just met. “You can have her if you want.”

Lightning looked affronted. “I got a girl, all right?”

“So I hear,” Applejack remarked dryly. “What’s her name?” she then asked, turning the tables.

“Cloudchaser,” Lightning answered. “My super-hot marefriend.” She leveled Applejack with a glare. “Keep your hoofs off.”

Applejack laughed heartily despite the threat. “I haven’t even seen her.”

Lightning cracked a small smile at seeing an echoing one on Applejack’s face. “So…” she began. “Got a coltfriend?”

“Eenope.” Applejack answered easily.

Lightning’s expression was very much the same when she prompted, “Marefriend?”

Once.

Applejack had gotten involved with a local mare she’d gone to school with, a clothes designer. Their romance ended when neither of them wanted to come out to their parents for various reasons that all boiled down to the same thing: they didn’t want their parents’ opinions about them to change. Rarity had moved up to Canterlot after the break up, but still wrote letters occasionally. They were acquaintances.

“I’m single,” Applejack answered simply.

“Weird. You’re hot,” Lightning commented with a shrug.

Applejack chuckled quietly. “Thanks.”


Blueblood Corporation, 75th Street, Manehattan, Equestria. 2:31pm

“I’m here to see Dr. Igneous Rock,” Applejack declared flatly once she had made it past the different levels of security of the Blueblood Corporation. It was heavily guarded day and night because over the years Blueblood had acquired many enemies over his production of androids. Applejack being one of them, but she didn’t have the energy to be upset enough with him to want to kill him.

The mare behind the desk was ‘Surprise’, if her nametag was anything to go by. “Ms. Apple, you don’t seem to have an appointment.”

“Detective Apple,” Applejack corrected with a flash of her badge. Surprise’s eyes widened slightly, and Applejack stifled a smug smirk at the sight of it.

“Dr. Rock is busy.”

“Then send me upstairs. I’ll wait.”

“I’m afraid I can’t—”

“Listen,” Applejack cut in sharply. She was starting to dislike this mare already. “You can either send me through now, or I can call for back up, wait until they get here, then we can all storm right upstairs to talk to Igneous ourselves.”

Surprise looked wholly put out by the idea as the mild worry creasing her face smoothed over into impassivity. “There is no need for all of that, detective.”

Applejack tilted her head, gesturing to the elevator to her left. “Then I’m free to go, aren’t I?”

Surprise leveled her with a hard stare for a long moment. When it was clear Applejack wasn’t going to be deterred, she sighed. “Yes. You can go.”

Applejack flashed a false smile. “Lovely.”

She turned from the desk and walked toward the elevator, pressing the up button and stepping aside. It dinged open with no one inside and Applejack stepped in, pressing the appropriate floor number and sinking back against the railing in the back of the elevator.

Inhaling a deep breath, Applejack rolled her shoulders back, trying to reacquaint herself with this line of work. Though it had only been months, she was still on edge about the possibility of working with androids again. They weren’t the most stable despite what Blueblood Corporation promised in their commercials. When faced with termination the androids became almost primal in their need to defend themselves. Though this was the first time any of them had ever killed anyone.

The androids came in different kinds to provide different functions. But every once in a while one or two would escape Blueblood Corporation and when that happened, blade runners were sent out to track them down and retire them. This was the first time a fleet of androids had overpowered an entire spaceship full of ponies, killing them, and fleeing the spaceship once it landed in Equestria. They had been here just over two weeks; but thus far only one pony had been killed, leading Applejack to wonder what exactly the replicants were up to.

The elevator came to a smooth stop and opened silently. Applejack stepped out, looking around to reacquaint herself with the hallway as she walked toward the only room on the floor. The doors were slightly ajar, and she opened them further, taking a cautious step inside. Sensory lights began to flicker on one by one with each step Applejack took into the massive room until every light was lit. There was only a single table in the room full of chairs. Applejack’s grip around her briefcase tightened as she looked over her shoulder at the sound of wings flapping.

An owl rested atop its perch in the corner. It took one look at Applejack, then turned away, eyes flashing as the evening light hit it. Applejack’s lips pulled back into a sneer at the sight of it. “Everything’s artificial in this place, even down to the pets,” she muttered.

She shook off the odd feeling of dread shooting down her spine and walked further into the room, walking around the table and taking a seat to keep the door and the rest of the room in her line of sight. Her briefcase landed with a thud against the polished wooden table.

The door creaked and sharp green eyes looked up as Igneous Rock walked into the room, tall and built in a white lab coat. A second pony could be heard and Applejack’s eyes squinted at the sight of a much shorter pony walking just behind him.

She was slim with a pink coat, darker raspberry mane hair curled into a frizzy bushel that bounced down her shoulders with every step she took. Her bangs formed a wild cowlick that was both ridiculous and endearing, making her look young in a way that made Applejack question her age. She wore a simple lab coat with nothing on underneath.

“Good evening, detective,” Igneous greeted jovially. He wore a grin on his face that the young mare matched three-fold as she, too, walked closer. They both stood behind the chair across from Applejack, smiling down at her. “It’s certainly been a while. I thought you had quit.”

Applejack’s eyes darted to the mare at his side, giving her a once over before turning back to Igneous. “Well, you know, when androids decide to show their asses I clean it up. Simple.”

Igneous’s smile wavered a bit as he regarded her. “I always wished the public went a little softer on the replicants. After all, they only learn what is taught to them.” He looked over to the young mare by his side and wrapped a foreleg around her shoulder.

“Have you met Pinkamena?” he asked Applejack.

With a ready smile, Pinkamena stepped forward and extended her hoof across the table. “I’m Pinkie Pie.” Applejack’s face fell flat as Pinkie continued. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, detective.”

Applejack nodded, the octaves of the mare’s voice making her hold back a cringe.

Igneous laid a hoof on Pinkie’s shoulder, “Pinkamena is my daughter.” He informed Applejack proudly.

Applejack had known Igneous for over a year while working as a blade runner and not once had he mentioned having a child.

“She’s interning here for a few months to see if she likes it,” Igneous supplied as he took in Applejack’s puzzled expression.

“I see,” Applejack said quietly. She felt wholly uncomfortable and grabbed her briefcase, wanting to get this over as soon as possible. It clicked open once unlocked and Applejack spun it around to face Igneous. “The reason I’m here is because our EPR test has been improved upon and I wanted to test the latest on a replicant that you may have lying around.”

Pinkie’s brow furrowed. “EPR?”

“Emotional and physiological response test, sweetheart,” Igneous answered sweetly. He straightened his tie absentmindedly as he said, “I’d be more than happy to help you out, Applejack.” His head tilted, a devious smile lighting his face. “Perhaps you should try it on Pinkamena first.”

Applejack lifted an eyebrow. “I thought you said she was your daughter and, therefore, equine. I need a replicant.”

“What better way to know that your test truly works than to test a pony?” he challenged. “You wouldn’t want to overlook such a crucial step and end up mistakenly retiring a…pony, do you?”

The last thing Applejack wanted on her conscious was killing a pony in her overzealous need to rid the world of replicants. Back stiff, she motioned for Pinkie to sit down as she arranged the briefcase directly in front of her.

Pinkie Pie hesitantly sat down in the seat. “This isn’t going to hurt, is it?”

“Not if you’re a real pony,” Applejack replied flippantly. She looked up to find Pinkie wide-eyed and staring distrustfully at the device in front of her. Applejack rolled her eyes. “It’s just a series of questions. I’ll monitor your eye dilation and visible body responses. And when we’re finished you’ll be free to go. Maybe.”

Releasing a deep breath, Pinkie Pie nodded and settled back in her seat. “Okay. I’m ready.”

A bright, thin ray of light flashed directly in her left eye and Pinkie squinted before her pupil adjusted to the change.

“What’s your full name?” Applejack asked brusquely.

“Pinkamena Diane Pie,” Pinkie immediately responded with.

Applejack looked over at her for a long moment, before continuing. “What’s today’s date?”

“November 8, 2019.”

“Age.”

“Twenty.”

That made Applejack pause. Her gaze washed over Pinkie’s face with a critical frown. “You don’t look it.”

Pinkie grinned. “I’ve always looked twelve,” she joked. “It’s because I’m small. But I can assure you, detective, I’m twenty.”

“Okay.” She reached forward into the mesh pocket of the briefcase to grab a stack of papers.

“Are we done?” Pinkie Pie asked hopefully.

“No.” Applejack glanced over the questions on the paper. There were hundreds of questions, though most replicants didn’t make it past thirty. So far Pinkie Pie was showing signs of being equine, but a niggling thought in the back of Applejack’s mind kept her asking questions. But Spitfire had said that only five replicants existed, so it was possible Pinkie would check out as pony. She looked up to watch the way Pinkie fidgeted in her seat into a new position. “You’re watching TV and suddenly realize there’s a wasp on you,” Applejack prompted. “What would you do?”

It was a test designed to weed out typical reactions from the more peculiar ones that replicants had come up with in the past. A typical response would be to swat the wasp away, kill it, even hop up and scream. An atypical response that Applejack had come across in the past? Shooting it.

Pinkie’s eyes widened at the question in some semblance of earnestly as she demurely replied, “I’d gently swat it away without harming it.”

Applejack stared at her for a long moment, her mind leaning towards Pinkie Pie being equine as she took in her round eyes blue eyes and sincere demeanor. A replicant couldn’t feel and the replicants Applejack had run into in the past couldn’t even begin to mimic emotions correctly the way Pinkie was.

Several questions later had Applejack sucking her teeth and switching to another page with harder questions. “You’re reading a magazine and you come across a full-page photo of a beautiful, sexualized mare—”

“Is this testing whether I’m a replicant or a fillyfooler, detective?”

Green eyes shot up at the question. The light flashing through Pinkie’s eyes showed a slight dilation of her pupils as she regarded Applejack evenly. Applejack ignored the question and continued.

“You show it to your significant other and they hang it on the bedroom wall.”

“I wouldn’t allow it,” Pinkie said quickly.

“Why wouldn’t you?”

Her voice was soft when she challenged the question with, “Why aren’t I enough?”

Applejack’s jaw clenched at the question as her gaze dropped to the papers in her grip. She had never gotten an answer, or rather, question like that before.

“Your father dies; what do you do?”

“I would be devastated.”

“Yes, but what would you do?” Applejack reiterated.

Pinkie stared at her for a long time. “I would cry, detective. Mournfully.”

“You’re at a crowded party with loud music, and everypony’s dancing and having a good time. What would you do?”

That made Pinkie pause. Her mouth opened, her bottom jaw trembling for a response. Finally, she settled on, “I would dance, as well.”

Applejack stood abruptly from her seat. “We’re done.”

Pinkie’s eyes rounded to make her look almost concerned as she slowly stood from her seat. “Do I pass, detective?”

Applejack ignored her. Her eyes were hard as steel as she stared at Igneous who was several paces behind Pinkie Pie.

Igneous pushed into motion, walking up to Pinkie and placing a hoof on her shoulder. “You did very well, my dear,” he murmured. Pinkie’s attention was still on Applejack as if seeking her approval, and Igneous gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. “Why don’t you go ahead back to your office and I’ll get detective Apple here a replicant to test on.”

Pinkie Pie sighed as her eyes finally left Applejack. She gave Igneous a tentative smile as if she was nervous. “Very well, then. I’ll see you later, daddy.” She turned to Applejack. “It was a pleasure meeting you, detective Apple.” She turned around to swiftly walk out of the door, closing it soundlessly behind her.

“She doesn’t know?” Applejack asked as soon as Pinkie was out of earshot.

Igneous wore a roguish smile as he turned toward her. “She was good, no?”

“I’ll admit she’s good at… faking emotions. And her recall of things like the date and her birthday is pretty good. What—did you give her a faster processor than the others?”

Igneous made a face at her choice of words, but didn’t comment on them. “What gave her away?”

Applejack shot him a wry look. “She was good. But she sucks at social cues and situations. She faltered a little during the funeral question and completely sucked during the party question.”

Igneous hummed softly as he pondered over her statement.

Applejack sighed heavily as she reached down to collect her papers, turning the briefcase around and stuffing them inside. She closed the test inside, hesitated, then placed her hoofs firmly on the table, curiosity getting the better of her as she looked up at Igneous. “What is she?”

Igneous’s jaw clenched as he angled his head towards her. His eyes flashed with pride as he told Applejack, “She’s special.”


Applejack's Apartment, 24th Street, Manehattan, Equestria. 11:25pm

Applejack sipped gingerly on a fresh cup of coffee at eleven at night as the phone cradled between her neck and shoulder began its third ring. She rested her foreleg horizontally on the cabinet above the counter and laid her head against it as the line clicked over.

“Dash on the line.”

“Rainbow,” Applejack hissed urgently into the phone at the sound of her voice.

“You’re go for ‘em, babe. What’s up?”

Applejack sighed heavily. “Spitfire was wrong.”

“What?” Dash’s voice perked up suddenly, and a twinge of excitement laced her voice. “Wrong about what? Spill, AJ, this is serious.”

“She was wrong about the number of replicants. There aren’t five, Dash. There are six,” she babbled uncharacteristically.

Six fucking replicants,” Dash spat incredulously. “Are you serious?”

Applejack nodded, though she knew she couldn’t see. “It gets even weirder. The sixth replicant? She thinks she’s real.”

“The fuck?”

“Yeah. I put the EPR test on her today, and she almost passed it. I had to ask almost a hundred questions.” Realization gripped her and her eyes widened as she stared down at her marble countertops. “If I had quit at the standard thirty, she would have passed that test, Dash. And I almost did, but something told me to keep going.”

Rainbow was quiet for a long moment. Finally a whispered curse floated through the line before she asked, “And she doesn’t even know?”

“Igneous told her that she passed and told her to leave. And get this—he programmed her to be his daughter.”

Dash paused for a long moment. “His daughter? Are you sure the test isn’t just wacked, AJ? Maybe she really is a pony.”

“She failed the test,” Applejack insisted. “Besides, Igneous admitted that she’s a replicant.”

“And you’re sure she doesn’t know she’s a replicant?”

“She was sitting there asking me if she passed the test, Rainbow. There’s no way she knows.” Applejack lifted off the cabinet to run a hand through her hair in frustration. “Besides, I stayed with Igneous afterward and talked to him about it. He-he called her special. How sick is this guy? Anyway, they’re doing something completely new over there, Dash. Pinkie’s the first of this new kind of replicant who can generate emotions based on previous experiences that have been implanted into her hardwired ‘brain’.”

“What the fuck are you talking about, AJ?”

“Memories,” she whispered. “Igneous said he gave her memories—false ones. And he completely reconstructed her make-up. He says she’s basically pony. A pony made by a pony.”

“What are they trying to do over there?” Dash asked rhetorically. “Don’t they remember when they tried to give those skin-jobs emotions and it completely backfired? Those things went crazy. They’re not real, AJ, and they’re not meant to be.”

Applejack snorted sardonically. “Tell that to Dr. Frankenpony.”

“Well, where is this Pinkie Pie now?”

“Blueblood Corp. Igneous seems to be able to keep her under control under the guise that he’s her father and she’s interning there for a few months.”

“She seems harmless, AJ,” Dash admitted after a moment. “She doesn’t even know what she’s capable of. I mean, she thinks she’s real,” she laughed. “Plus, she’s cooped up at Blueblood’s for now, so she’s not an immediate threat. I say we take care of what’s out in the streets now and get her later.”

Dread churned in Applejack’s stomach as she chewed on her lower lip. But Dash was right. There were much more dangerous replicants on the streets now that needed to be taken care of. Pinkie was a sitting duck at Blueblood Corp where she would be once Applejack, Dash, and Lightning Dust managed to get rid of the others.

“Yeah,” Applejack agreed after a moment. “You’re probably right. Hey, listen, just don’t tell Spitfire about this, okay, Dashie? She’d have our tails for this.”

Dash chuckled. “I like my tail just fine. I won’t tell.”