I wandered around my house, "Vinyl? Vinyl?! Where the tartarus is she...?"

"Bathroom dude!" Well...that narrows it down. I hurried into my bathroom, Vinyl was sitting half submerged in the tub, "I smelled like you, granted I normally like that smell but...I figured if we run into that mare of yours it'd be better to not reek like me." She lifted a leg out of the water, "Should I keep the blue?" She pointed to her hoof.

I shook my head, "Well I kinda like it...better than nothing, and it matches your hair...might go magenta...match your eyes."

She blushed before lowering her muzzle under the water. I was one of the few people to see her without the glasses on, granted the first time I saw her eyes I had physically knocked her glasses off with a rather vigorous thrust, "Sorry dude but I can't really bend over in here...wish I could, but unless you just want to get blue balled watching me you should probably leave." Her hands came up out of the water and dove down towards her crotch, "I mean I won't make you leave but I don't want you jerkin it into the tub...as dirty as this might be I'm still trying to get clean."

I started laughing hard. "Alright then, and my advice, keep em blue." With that I walked out, I needed to get some breakfast before patrol started. Lucky her, I always make enough for two.

"Potato...yes." I mumbled to myself, "Salt...yes-"

Vinyl wandered into the room in a bra and panties, "Dude smell my fingers," A white hand with blue nails was quickly forced into my face.

"Vinyl, really?"

"I'm serious. I need to know if you think people will notice."

I pushed her hand away, "Did ya clean under your fingernails?"

"Yes. look just smell em!" She pressed two fingers against my upper lip, the particular smell of Vinyl sat lightly on them.

"They smell...but I don't think anyone will notice. Better question, why do mares come in different flavors and smells?" I asked jokingly.

Vinyl gave me a wry smile, "We also cum in different flavors dude, thought you'd know that by now." She whispered, wrapping her arms around my stomach and pressing her breasts against my back, "You like how that feels?"

I finished with my food and plated two servings, "Well they fit better in my hands but I won't complain." I picked up the plates and slowly waddled over to the table, "Vinyl...go get the food and let me go."

"Yeah, see, I would...but I'm not wearing pants-"

"I noticed." I interjected with a laugh, setting the plates down, "So because you're not wearing pants you're not going to let me go?"

"Sort of?" She stated, unsure herself, "I'm not gonna sit on some cold seat all by myself, just sit down first and you'll see."

"Or...you could...oh I don't know, put some pants on." I groaned, taking a seat.

I was about to fork a bit of baked potato into my mouth when suddenly a meaty weight fell into my lap, my vision quickly filling with blue streaks, "Ah...all the enjoyment of sitting, without any of the cold." She shifted her hips, trying to get comfortable, but only managing to coax my out of hiding, "Oh! Hey there little guy~" She made sure to seat my member between her cheeks, effectively trapping me and turning my member into a saddle.

"Dear Luna...really- I thought you didn't want to do this?" My fork was ripped away from my hands, my food stolen.

"Do what?" She asked, grinding a small circle into my lap, "I said I didn't want to smell like sex and if you cream yourself that's your issue." I could hear her jamming a fork into a plate, "Good potato by the way, way to earn this dance." She bounced a little, forcing me further between her, "So if you shoot your load...it's gonna end up all over your stomach right?" She craned her head back and shifted her weight forward, "Yep...I can see your head poking out."

I quickly looked down, sure enough my member was sneaking out of my waistband, "Cripes Vinyl..." I yanked my sleep shorts up, "Behave yourself, for the love of Luna."

"Hmm...how do I put this lightly.... No." She wiggled further down, letting her tail ride up my chest, "Morning lap dance is best lap dance, am I right?"

I grumbled my relent, "Fine. Just pass me a plate, then."

Vinyl did a final bounce as she handed a plate back. As much as I hated her right now, this did feel amazing. I leaned back and ate my food. I finished up quickly and set the plate on the table, "Done already?" Vinyl laid back against me, gliding herself up and down my shaft, "I knew you'd finish early."

I stuck my hands under her rump, "Well, you're making it hard..." In one swift movement I picked Vinyl up and pinned her waist against the edge of the table.

"Whoa dude!" Vinyl yelped as I bent her over the table, "What the he- oh s-shit!" I pulled my boxers down and led my head into her mound. Rubbing my flesh into her soft panties, "I just- don't prod!"

I yanked her tail up as my other hand lead my dick into her mound, "You- god damn, it's soft -started it! And I'm going to finish in it."

Vinyl grabbed the table and looked behind her, "Don't you mean-"

"I know what I said." I pressed myself forward, pressing hard into her mound and reveling in the velvety feel of her warm sex behind those silky panties.

Vinyl leaned against the table and closed her legs, "Dude come on, I was just- oh Celestia!" I cut her off by sneaking my head just inside her panties, the soft fabric still half wrapped around my head while the tip pressed into her sex. As I wiggled it back and forth I could watch as she soaked herself.

I stroked myself while slowly prodding her mound, "You know how you said it would shoot all over my stomach? Well, sorry to say I'm gonna have to paint your pussy instead."

Her head shot around, "Dude no, not a freaking creampie. I already told you I forgot my pills!"

I moved my hands, letting my thumbs pull her sex open, "Whats wrong, you don't want my foals? I think you'd make a great mommy." I bucked forward, nearly planting myself in her.

"I don't- ha~ I don't- didn't." She lifted her hips up with a long angry groan, "I can't think with you doing that."

I pulled my hands away and moved them to her covered tailhole. I jammed my thumb into it, pressing the fabric in ever so slightly, "I'm joking...kids would turn out deaf. No, I'm just gonna give it some frosting. Oh~ speaking of which. I think it's about- fucking- time." I hit the sweet spot.

I pulled my head back ever so slightly. I made sure to coat her sex in as much gruel as I could, leaving her fleshy mound coated, "Oh dude...gooey,"- I pulled my dick away and let her panties pull back into place. I gave them a quick rub and made sure the insides were coated with my seed, "Dude I just changed..." She lowered her hips and shifted her legs up and down, "Slimy..."

I gave a quick grunt, "I heard my diet helps promote thicker cum." I let the ridge of my index finger ride up and down her mound, "Guess they were right." I laughed hard as I sat back down.

Vinyl just pushed off the table and bent over. She pulled her panties off before sitting back down on my exposed member, "Seriously...they're gonna get all crusty now." Vinyl whimpered as she looked at the stained crotch of her panties.

"Maybe get some crotchless ones...save me some trouble."

Vinyl stood up and started walking off, "I have some I save for special occasions. Oh, and by the way I'm-ma use your toothbrush to clean these!" She ran off leaving me to sit, with a slightly soggy groin, and contemplate my life. Vulgarity, lewd conduct, and obscenity, and I love it all.

Author's Note

This is the final chapter Sir Hat made for this story. Everything after it is by me, TheOnlyOneWhoCared. Many thanks go to SH for letting me own this story.