The End of the Beginning

First thought of the morning:

"You take Tae-Kwon-Do, you had a gun and a knife, and you still failed. Nice job, you retarded son of a bitch."

Second thought:

"Where am I? Am I dead?"

Ok, I accidentally said that second one out loud. Whoops. Luckily, it seems that I attracted (HEY, ITS ME AGAIN!)

...You were going to point out the innuendo in "I attracted", weren't you? (Yep, NOW WHERE'S MY COOKIE?) It's in hell, now go fetch. (WOOF!)

...He's gone. Thank god. So, let's see, orange pony towering over me, Applebloom in the corner along with big red pony, WITH A PITCHFORK IN HIS MOUTH, hands tied behind my back, and my ribcage seems to have some bandages on them that DESPERATELY need changing. I decided to look at the orange pony and see if it might be sentient.

It (same reason why I called Applebloom an it when I first met her) seemed feminine, although again, I could be wrong, so I will stick with it. It had green eyes, and some white freckles on her cheeks. I would call it kinda cute, but that may be an insult in this world.

"You're in mah farm. While ya ain't dead, say somethin' wrong and you'll wish you'd be."

Can you take a guess at who that is? C'mon, I'm just testing to make sure you aren't retarded. If you guessed the orange pony, CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE A BRAIN, AND YOU'RE USING IT! YAAAY!

That's more than can be said about for half of my school...

Anyways, I better respond.

"What's your name? And why am I tied up?"

"Ah ain't tellin!"

"Why?"

"Cuz you tried ta kill Applebloom, maybe?"

"Ok then, why isn't she dead then?"

"What do you mean?"

"If I tried to kill her, I most likely would have succeeded. So, why isn't she dead?"

"Cuz I gave yah a buck to the head?"

"Still, did she have any injuries?"

"Yah, she did. A massive bite on her hoof. Explain that, buddy boy!"

"Simple. She's smaller than me, and I would have to either lie on the ground or crouch to a level that it would be hard to move, so it couldn't be me. However, when I found her in the forest, she was being chased by these zombie-like creatures. I think that's where the bite came from."

At this point, she (at least, I think it's a she) turned around and started talking to Applebloom.

"Applebloom, is what this creature saying true?"

"HEY! I'm not a creature, I'm a human!"

"Yah Applejack! His name's Jacob, and he's not ah monster!"

"Wait a minute... Applebloom?"

"Yah?

"I've been talking to your sister all this time?"

"Yep!"

"Ok then... That's shocking."

"Applebloom, yah ain't answering me. Is he telling the truth?"

"Yah, he is!"

"Since I've proven my innocence, can you get these ropes off of me?"

Of course, I still have some misgivings about Applejack's attack, but while we were negotiating, I realized something:

If I was in Applejack's shoes, (Hooves, shoes, whatever) I would have done the same.

"Ah'm sorry bout hogtying yah. And bucking you. And acting before thinking. Friends?"

"Sure, why not? Just keep those hooves away from my stomach."

We both shared a chuckle at that, although mine was cut short due to the pain in my ribs. And back. And arm.

"But in all seriousness, can you get these ropes off of my arms? I need to go to the hospital. Badly."

"Why partner, you already went!"

...WAT.

"HOW LONG WAS I OUT?!"

"Ah took yah to the hospital, at around two hours before dawn, and the operation was done at sunrise. You woke up about an hour later."

"Wow. You kicked me rather hard then. Do you have any alcohol? That might help my pain."

Unless I'm already doped up on painkillers...

"Ah got ah small amount of cider."

Now, before I continue, yes I am contemplating having some booze to help relive some pain when I'm under the legal drinking age. Ok? Ok.

"Good! Could you lead me to it?"

"Ah can't. The doctors told me not to give you any alcohol."

"Well, alright."

*grumble*

"Ah think your a mite hungry. Wanna have some chow?"

"I'm more than a mite hungry, but yes, breakfast sounds great."

She opened the door that lead outside... whateverintheholynameofgodthatthisplaceiscalled and guided me around. The tour began in the apple trees, which is where the 'shed' that I was in lead out to. Applejack explained that the farm was called Sweet Apple Acres, and this is where the name derived from. I rebuted with this idle comment:

"Apples are some of my least favorite fruits. I mean, don't get me wrong, an occasional apple is nice, but the only type of apple that I eat reguraly would be the sour ones."

"Jacob, are yah trying ta get me to buck you again?"

"No, if I was, I would insult your farm."

"So then, what is your favorite fruit?"

"Why don't you try to guess it?"

"Bananas?"

"NO. BANANAS ARE TERRIBLE."

"Peaches?"

"Nope."

"Pears?"

"I hate pears."

"Strawberries?"

"YES! I WOULD MARRY STRAWBERRIES IF I COULD!"

The idle bantering went on...

You know what guys? I'm gonna leave the rest of my trip to the next chapter. BAI