The End of the Beginning

So, I'm back. Sorry 'bout that, just had a sore mind. Applejack gave me one of her apples, and HOLY MOTHER OF JESUS THAT'S SECRETLY A FRIGGIN SHARK THEY'RE GOOD. Anyways, now that I'm revitalized enough to write, let's continue.

So, lets see, we seem to be in a corn field. Wait a minute! Why would a farm called "Sweet Apple Acres" grow something other than apples? Is there some sort of lack of corn here? Is Applejack feeding her family? I better ask her.

"So, Applejack."

"Yah?"

"Any particular reason why your growing corn?"

"That's ah easy one. In three days time, we'll be hosting tha Summer Sun Celebration! The princess loves her popcorn!"

"Wait a minute! What princess? What celebration? And will the popcorn be buttered and salted?!"

This was the point where I noticed the fact that Applejack stopped walking and started staring at me. What did I do?

"Are yah saying ta me that yah don't know who Princess Celestia is?!"

"You have to remember, I haven't been here for more than 2 days."

"She's the pony who moves the sun and the moon!"

...WHAT IN THE HOLY NAME OF GOD ON A POGO STICK MADE OF SHARKS.

"WAIT WAIT WAIT WHAT?! WHY DON'T THE SUN AND THE MOON MOVE ON THEIR OWN?!"

Ahh yes, another one of Applejack's stares that make me feel as though I spoke Cthulhu.

"YAH MEAN THA SUN AND THA MOON MOVE ON THEIR OWN WHERE YOU COME FROM?!"

"Yes, of course they do! Why wouldn't they?"

"Why, that's just plain silly! In Equestria, ever since Ah was ah little filly, the sun and moon were moved by Celestia!"

"Yeah, and on Earth, ever since I was a child, the moon and the sun moved on their own!"

"What next, are yah gonna tell me the weather changes on it's own?!"

"Why, yes! Yes it does!"

Silence.

A whole, complete silence.

Not a noise, not even the sound of me breathing.

DEAR LORD WHAT DID I DO TO GET AN AWKWARD SILENCE AT THIS TIME.

"So, what you're telling me is that Earth, wherever that is, has it's weather made by chance, and that you can't control it."

"Yes, although, over time, we managed to learn signs to tell us what weather we're going to have."

"That's ah load of horse apples."

"It's true, I swear! Anyways, what's this celebration about?"

"Well, the Summer Sun Celebration celebrate's Celestia moving tha sun everyday!"

Well. That was obvious.

"Alright, what's the next stop?"

"Well, next up would be the kitchen, for some food."

"I agree with this idea completely."

So, we walked. And walked. And walked some more. Eventually we saw a red barn, which seemed to be the main household of the plantation. Since I was a bit tired, I decided to listen to some music. On low, of course. For some reason, this song popped up.

FITTING MUSIC MUCH.

Head bobbing was imminent, really.

"And what in the hay are yah doing?!"

Oh yeah... ponies might not know what headphones are.

"Oh, me? I'm just listening to some music."

"Yah, ah knew that! Ah mean, what are yah doing with your neck? It looks mighty hurtful."

"Ahhh. I'm keeping in time with the beat!"

"Well, that's mighty stupid."

WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY.

WHAT.

SHE IS SO FUCKING DEAD.

"WHAT. DO. YOU. MEAN. YOU. THINK. IT'S. DUMB."

"Ah mean, yah shouldn't go and hurt yer neck like that."

Phew. Glad that was cleared up. Otherwise their would be a corpse here.

"Yeah, I know, which is why I usually tap my foot. But sometimes, I get lost in the music..."

Applejack's shaking her head... I wonder what I did wrong...

"Well, we're here!"

"THANK THE LORD! HALLELUJAH! Anyways, what are we going to have?"

"We're gonna have some apple turnovers!"

"Oh good! I enjoy apple turnovers, due to it being the only apple based pastry that I can stomach."

OH GOD THAT'S AN EVIL GLARE.

SHE'S STARING AT ME.

"Well, partner, if yah don't like apples... then what are yah doing here?"

"I told you, I'm not a fan of apples. Too sweet for my tastes. However, I have ONLY ever had an apple turnover. No other forms of pastries with apples in it. So, I'm willing to try anything you make. Plus, your apples are AMAZING!"

OH THANK GOD.

She's smiling. Phew, thought I was a goner.

"So, let's eat!"

I opened the door, and walked in the barn. What I saw would be best described as your stereotypical country dining hall, complete with a tableCLOTH. Emphasis on cloth. There was one thing that was missing, though.

THE CHAIRS.

AGGHHHHHHH.

However, in it's place was NOTHING.

Well, that's no fun. Wonder what we're eating.

*ring ring ring ring*

"Soup's on everypony!"

"Soup."

"What? Yah got ah problem with soup too?!"

"No, I mean, is that what we're having for... what meal is this?"

"Oh! Yah, we're having soup for dinner!"

"Ahh. I see. What kind of soup?"

"Carrot soup."

Huh, why is she grimacing? I'll ask.

"Something wrong with carrots?"

"Nah. Just that the farm ain't doin very well."

"Ok. Sorry to hear that, is there any way that I could help?"

"Unless yah can make it rain, then nope."

*knock knock knock*

Huh? Who's there?

"Well, aren't yah gonnna open the door?"

Well then, Lets open the door!

*Creaaaak*

Those hinges need to get oiled.

Behind door number 1 is...

2 Armored ponies. Huh?

(They will be in.... Silver.)

"Uhhh... hello?"

"We're with the Equestrian Royal Guard, and you are under arrest."

Jacob Schott.exe has unexpectedly shut down.

"WHY?!"

"You are under arrest for the use of illegal teleportation, and attempted murder.

*Sigh*

"Alright, I'll come quietly."

Why are they so shocked? Did they really believe that I would attack?

Oh well. Just when I thought things could change for the better.

Well, look on the bright side, I get to meet Princess Celestia.

Well, might as well think of a way to prove my innocence...