Out of Place

Chapter 4

The Memory Remains

Midnight.

My favorite time of night. Everything is asleep, except me. I can relax and stare at the moon. Nothing can bother me. Just me, the moon and my music.

“Kirk? Is that you?” came a voice from the darkness of the house.

Great… someone else is awake…

“Kirk? Are you there?” the voice called again.

“Yes, yes I’m here.” I call back, annoyed.

I turned to the doorway and saw a dark blue Alicorn standing there.

“Luna!” I say, sitting up “Sorry, I didn't know it was you!”

“It is quite alright, I was just wondering what you were doing out her.” she said, her voice assuring me.

“Me? I was just relaxing, staring at the moon, listening to music…” I trailed off. “Sit down, its better than standing.” I pointed to the deck chair next to me.

She came over and sat in the chair, so we stared at the moon for some time before any one of us spoke.

“So, tell me about yourself, Kirk, you didn't do a very good job at it last time.” she giggled slightly.

“Oh, umm, OK. Well, as you know, my name is Kirk Fisher, I’m the bassist and lead singer of our band-” I was cut off.

“No, about yourself, about who you are, not the obvious information.”

“Well, where do I start?”

“At the beginning, I would hope”

“No, no. That’s a bad place to start.” I said, waving my hands then scratched my stubble beard as I was thinking for a better place to start the story of my past. “How about the Orphanage. The place I met the hunters….”

“You were at an orphanage? What happened to your parents?” she asked with pity.

“Dead.” I said coldly. “Murdered.”

“I’m so sorry.” she whispered, putting a hoof to her mouth.

“Why? Its not your fault. Anyway… yes, I was at an orphanage.” I said, regaining my emotions. “I was a loner most of the time, bullies, life was just a shit hole. Pardon my French but you’ll have to get used to it if your going to live with us.” she giggled “I was going through hell but then I noticed Percy; at the time we knew each other but we weren't really friends. He was angry, very angry.”

“Why?” she asked at my sudden stop.

“The bullies were giving him hell, all they were doing were picking on him, pissing him off, just for fun really. After a while he just said ‘No more’. He got so pissed that he almost killed one of them, almost strangled the bastard to death. And that’s where I come in, if I hadn't of found him the idiot would be dead. I managed to get Percy off and restrain him but some of the damage had already been done. He never forgave himself for it too. After that he was sent to prison for attempted murder. Now lets just say, those bullies never picked on a single soul since.” I paused trying to think back. “After he was released; me, him and his sister, Sophie, became really good friends. We found out that we all liked the same music, we all played different instruments. So we formed a band, later on we met Lance and he joined, taking to spot of the drummer.”

“Did you ever hurt anypony like that before?” she asked

“Anypony? Oh, wait, anypony-pony-body-anybody. Never mind.” I said internally smacking myself in realization. “no, I would never hurt any living creature. I’m a pacifist, you see.”

“So, with Rainbow…”

“What? You though I was going to hurt her?! No! never.” I shook my head.

Silence fell upon us and was shortly broken by the moon Goddess.

“So, tell me. Why are you nocturnal? I mean, I am correct to assume that most humans are not, so why are you?” she asked with allot of curiosity.

“God damn it, I knew this was going to come up.” I sighed. “well… I prefer the night really. I feel safer under the moonlight than the sunlight. That sort of thing really…”

“There is something else, isn't there.”

“No, it’s nothing really.”

“Tell me.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Tell me!” this time she was more forceful.

“Why?” I sighed, giving in.

“You cant keep things like this locked up. It not healthy.”

“Fine, I was scared and it kind… ruining… my…sleep…pattern…” I said, turning into a whisper.

“How? What were you scared of?” she asked, tilting her head.

“The dream.” was all I said.

“What dream? I don’t understand” she asked, confused.

“The dream I have every time I sleep, every time I close my eyes. The dream about the death of my parents”

“Please explain, it will help.”

“Ever since my parents were murdered in front of me (well, I was from a locked closet and I saw the scene through the keyhole, but you know what I mean) I've been having the same recurring dream about it. Every time I sleep. Every single time. No matter how hard I try I can never get rid of it. Never. And with the dream is a constant voice in my head, always telling me that I’m guilty, that I’m the one to blame for their deaths. It started driving me insane, I couldn't take it. So the only option I could think of was taking my own life.” to this she gasped. “And I tried, multiple times.”

“So why are you still alive today?” she asked, worried.

“Some times I failed. Sometimes there was an invisible barrier, like something or someone was stopping me, that wasn't my conscious. And the rest of the time I couldn't bring myself to do it. Why? Because I know I have three friends to rely on if anything goes bad. Three friends that will always support me. Three friends that care for me, and that I care for.” I started to form tears at this point. “I got so scared of it that I started to stay awake for as long as possible. I once stayed awake for about a month, I have no idea how other than the fact that I was too scared. And it came with a price, I went insane. I lost all my sanity. The fucking asylum came looking because word got out about me.” I started to cry a bit harder. “After the rest of the gang managed to somehow get some tranquilizers, they won’t tell me how they got them, they eventually got me to go to sleep. I’m still not perfect today, the voice, the dream, it’s took its toll on me.” I started to cry even harder. “I just can’t take it any more. I can’t! I CAN’T!! I JUST WAN- I NEED IT TO STOP! EVERY TIME I CLOSE MY EYES IT’S THE SAME THING!! I can’t live like this… I need it to stop.” And with that I broke down, my head in my hands.

Luna put her hoof on my shoulder to comfort me. It didn't work, and she could tell so she quickly turned it into a hug. At this I was dumbstruck. Why would she hug me? But this did comfort me. Her warm fur, the feeling that something caring for me… After the hug had been released, I wiped away my tears and smiled at her.

“Thank you.”