Out of Place

Chapter 5

Poor Twisted Me.

It’s been a year.

One fucking year since ponies arrived at our doorstep (or really, appeared in one of our recording rooms). Its been hell living with them, trying to make me smile, ‘fix’ our fashion sense, learn everything about us and our world, showing off, worrying about everything and trying to farm the forest surrounding our home. Then there is Luna, the only one I enjoy the company of. We’re like siblings really, always spending our time together, talking, listening to music (she has really learned to enjoy Metal. Maybe she already enjoyed it her home world… I don’t know.). She even helps me with my bass sometimes. Not entirely sure how but she is a magical Alicorn from another universe that used to raise and lower the moon everyday…

“Kirk! For the last time, WAKE UP!!”

“For the last time, LET ME DIE!!” I shout to the voice waking me up.

“How about… No? We already decided there will be no death in this household.” The voice said again.

“I don’t remember agreeing to that.” I reply.

“That is because you were asleep at the time.” It said again. “Now get up!” Smacking me with one of my pillows.

I finally open my eyes to see a dark blue mare using her magic on my pillow, preparing to use it again.

“Luna, even though I appreciate your company, I don’t appreciate you assaulting me with my own pillow.”

“Oh, shush you!” she shot at me in a playful way, throwing my pillow back on the bed. “Now get up! Everypony is waiting for us.”

“Why is everybody waiting for us?” I ask, sitting up in my bed.

“You’ll see!” she replied, getting annoyed with my refusal to get up. “Now come on, or I will get the pillow again!”

“OooooOOooo! I’m so scared!” I say sarcastically. “Don’t worry, I’m getting up!” I say again as she makes her horn glow with magic.

With that, I got out of my bed and changed into the first clothes I could find. Unfortunately, Luna was in the room the whole time (no matter what I did, she refused to leave just in case I decide to go back into my bed, did I mention that it is really comfy?).

“Now let’s go!” she moaned getting impatient. “I think they have been waiting enough!”

“Fine!” I shot back getting annoyed.

***

“SURPRISE!!!”

“AAAHHHH!!”

“AARHHH!”

“AAAAAHHHHH!”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!”

“WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING?! YOU SCARED ME!!”

“I don’t know, I kinda looked like fun!” The pink mare giggled.

“Fuck my life.” I mutter under my breath, trying to exit the room I just entered but stopped by a blue hoof with a wearing a sparkle ‘royal’ slipper.

The whole room was filled with mares giggling at the scene they had just witnessed, except Rarity of course.

“I really wish you would stop using such foul language.”

“It’s been a year, Rarity. I thought you would have gotten used to it by know.” Percy said, tacking a sip of the apple cider in his hands, courtesy of Applejack.

“I know but I’ve never really enjoyed those types of words” she moaned

“Tuff!” I said trying to stop the argument about the words I choose. “What is all this anyway?” I ask realizing the banners, bowl of punch, balloons and other crazy things. “Is it somebody’s birthday today?”

“Don’t be silly! It’s our ‘One year since we came to Earth’ party!” The pink mare shouted with joy.

“Wait, what? Its been a year today? As in, EXACTLY a year ago I found you in that recording room?” I asked surprised.

“Don’t forget, you fainted!” Rainbow said after finishing her mug of cider. Her fourth mug.

“Shut up!” I shot back at her, pointing.

Another round of giggles.

“So what do you want to do first? Drink some cider? Some punch? Play some games like twister? Pin the tail on the pony? Hide and seek? ‘Chinese’ whispers? Tag? Duck, duck, goose? Oo oo! How about the floor is lava?! Musical chairs? What about musical statues? Simon says? Thumb war? Oh wait, silly me, no thumbs!” Pinkie Pie said once again. It really shocked me because she managed to say all of that in less than a full second.

“I’m too tired for this shit…” I mumble to myself. “Pinkie, I’m thirty-six years old. I don’t think I want to be playing games like ‘Hide and Seek‘.”

“Why? Gonna ruin your reputation of being a bad-ass metal bassist?” Percy asked, mockingly.

“What reputation? We've sold a single album and played live a dozen times and not in the last year even…” Lance said calmly, backing me up.

“Well… ummm…” Percy stuttered, thinking of a good comeback. “Well.. At least… AH HA!! At least I didn't marry a potato!!” He shouted suddenly remembering something.

“Potato? Wha- what are you talking about?” I asked, confused. I think you've had one too many.” pointing to the cider he is holding.

“You don’t remember, do you?” Sophie came in to the conversation.

“I don’t remember a lot of things, I've been repressing memories since I can remember.” I replied. "Please don’t remind me about-” but before I could finish I was interrupted.

“You married a potato?” Luna asked giggling.

I saw the look that was plastered all over Percy’s face.

“Don’t say it. DON’T SA-”

“Basically, one time, he tried to commit suicide by taking an overdose of my medication. Fortunately it didn’t work and as you can see he is alive. The drugs did, however, mess with his brain and he went a bit koo-koo!” Percy said quickly, doing a circle motion with his finger next to his head. “He kinda fell in love with a potato, got married to it and then…” he paused for dramatic effect.

“…Then?!” Came a chorus of voices.

‘I’m fucked…’ I though to myself as I remembered what happened all those years ago.

“…He ate it. Raw. He ate his wife minutes after the marriage!” Percy finished.

This time it was a chorus of laughter filling the room. I hated every second.

“I did no such thing!” I shouted trying to defend myself.

“To be fair, you did. But it is something nobody should laugh at, you weren't in your right mind and I bet you feel ashamed for it.” Lance said protecting me. At this the room went silent. “And before you even think about it, Percy, it was not an official marriage.”

“But… I… but…” Percy began but was stopped by Lance as he raised his hand and his eyebrows in unison.

“But nothing!”

“But, he ate his wif- AARGH!!!” He screamed as the back of Lance’s hand came in contact with his face. “What was that for?!?”

“Karma…” I say coldly. “With a capital ‘K’! Oh and a sore hand now.”

“Lance, Stop it, he’s still my brother…” Sophie came in before something else happened.

“Don’t worry, I won’t hurt him anymore. Not unless he carries on. Kirk is our friend and we should respect him.”

“Sophie, you need to keep your boyfriend under control.” Percy spat as he rubbed his now red face.

“Excuse me?! Lance is not my boyfriend!” Sophie shot back, obviously offended.

“Sophie, we know he is.” I say, stepping in. “There’s no need to hide it anymore.”

“But… how did you know?” she asked, worried.

“Lets just say… you’re not the best at hiding it.” I reply, Percy nodding in agreement.

The bitch slap he received must have made him forget why he was hit in the first place, because he went from insulting me to agreeing with me.

“Fine, we have been going out…” She said, defeated. At this most of the ponies started to ‘AAAAWW’ at the same time. “How long have you known?”

“The whole time…”

***

The rest of the party was fairly fun. We drank some cider (Percy and Rainbowdash especially), had a laugh and played some music. We played some of our songs and covers from various bands including Metallica, Avenged Sevenfold, Megadeth and System of a Down (I know, not the best party music but its better than music for little kids). Percy even gave everyone a fez to wear. I was not happy when he tried to put one on me, I almost burned it. Multiple times. They’re an abomination and must be destroyed! Eventually I decided to sit down next to Luna and we talked, talked for hours and I finally came up with the courage to ask her…

“Luna? I've been meaning to ask you something…”

“What is it?”

“I was… I was wondering if you… if you…” I hesitated.

“If I could what?”

“If you could… turn me… into… a… pony…”

“WHAT?!?!” this got the attention of everyone in the room. “Follow me, this is not the place…”

“Agreed.”

So we left the room with everybody’s eyes on us. (except Lances for obvious reasons)

“Where are they going?” Percy asked suspiciously.

***

“I am not sure if I heard you correctly, so you want me to…?”

“…Turn me into a Pony.”

“Never mind, I did hear you correctly.” She sighed, collecting her thoughts. “Why?”

“Curiosity, I guess…” I reply. “Don’t worry, I don’t want to be one forever. Just for the rest of the day or something.”

She sighed again but in relief this time. She wiped her forehead and just sat there thinking.

“But, why?” she asked again. “There must be a better reason than ‘Curiosity‘.”

“Not really, I just wan to know what its like to be a pony. You’ve been human, why not me be pony? If you been human…” I say point at her. I realize I’m not using proper English and decide to continue anyway. “Why not me be pony?” I point to myself.

“Are you sure?” she asked. “It could be dangerous.”

“How dangerous?” I asked secretly wishing for it to be VERY dangerous. You know, lethal kind of danger… shut up…

“Enough to replace your eye balls with your intestines…” she said hesitantly.

“…”

“Now don’t be alarmed, this is very, very unlikely to happen.” she assured me.

I sighed in relief and continued to persuade her. Eventually she gave in.

“Fine, just give me a moment to get ready, there isn’t any pure magic in this world as you know…” She hesitated. “Before I do, let me just inform you of one thing first. You will become your pony counterpart.”

“Counterpart? What do you mean?”

“Your counterpart is you.” she put a hoof on my chest. “But a pony. They have the same personality but a different body. This means you cannot chose your appearance and you don’t become a random pony with a random talent.”

“Okay… I think I get it…”

“Brace yourself…” she said, lowering her head ready to use some magic.

Her horn started to glow as it did when she assaulted me but instead of a pillow glowing with the same dark blue aura it was me. My body started to levitate above the ground her magic swirled around me. I could definitely feel it, the change. My toes and fingers shrinking, disappearing. My legs bending in the opposite direction. My jaw growing outwards. My ears moving up my head and growing in size. My bones changing shape and size. My insides moving position. Every hair on my body growing and multiplying (and without me feeling it, changing colour). After what seemed like minutes (but was probably only thirty seconds…) I touched the ground once again.

“Aaaaah. Aaaaaaaaah! Craaaamp!!” I scream.

I reach for my left leg and try to grab it with my hands but only manage to hit it with two hard hooves making the pain even worse. Within minutes it eased and I could finally relax. I looked over to Luna who seemed to be lying on the floor, panting. All that magic used must have drained her of her energy.

“Luna, are you okay?” I ask crawling over to her (what? I don’t know how to use hooves yet)

“Yes, yes. I am quite alright.” She said in-between pants.

She opened her eyes and found me staring at her. She stared back in disbelief of what she saw.

“No… no… how could I not have known?” she asked herself

“Known what?” I ask, confused. “What are you talking about?!”

“No… no… how did I not see the signs? I’m such a fool!” She shouted to herself as her horn sparked with electricity. “No no, NO! HOW DID I NOT KNOW?! HOW HAVE I BEEN SO BLIND?!” the sparking increased and she was soon shocking herself with it as some sort of self-punishment.

“Wow wow wow, Luna, what are you doing?” I grab her horn with my new front hooves and take in most of the energy being produced. “Luna, stop it. You are no fool! What’s going on? LUNA!”

She realizes that I was taking most of the shock and stopped immediately.

“Oh my goodness, Shadow! Are you alright!?” she screamed and hugged me tight.

“Shadow? Who’s Shadow? What’s going on?!” I ask again, gently pushing her out of the hug.

“Oh my, sorry, Kirk! It’s just…”

“It’s just what?”

“It’s just… You look exactly like somepony I used to know. Somepony I miss…” she finished.

“What do you mean? you knew my counterpart?” I asked adding one and one together.

“It seems as though I must have… Back before the war, I met a stallion. He was brave, handsome and alone… He came to Canterlot one time seeking for help-” I cut her off.

“Okay, first of all, what was this guys name?”

“Soul Shadow… but when I first met him, he said his name was ‘Tombstone’ to protect the city.”

“Why would lying about his name protect the city?”

“It was cursed by an evil king.”

“You mean the king you said about before? Oh, what was his name? Simba?

“Sombra.” she corrected me. “The very same.”

“Sooooo. Why was his name cursed in the first place?” I ask, confused.

“Well, Shadow is a child of the night” I tried to remember what they were but nothing came so I waved my hoof to signal ‘Go on…’ and she understood. “The children of the Night are a secret civilization that I created before the war between my sister and I, roughly a thousand years ago. Unfortunately the were all captured and imprisoned by Sombra and the Changelings. A rebellion grew within the prison and the inmates tried to escape, it didn't go well. Shadow was the only one to escape alive for the others were either killed or recaptured. Sombra realized his escape and cursed his name.”

“That explains the curse… continue…”

“when he was staying in Canterlot, he was very rude towards the other ponies. You cant blame him really… The elements always tried to make friends and he got really ‘pissed off’” She said with her best impersonation of me (Which wasn‘t very good, to be honest). She chuckled slightly and so did I. “We formed an army to attack the prison using almost every royal guard, both Lunar and Solar. And when we finally did attack it, everything went wrong.”

“What do you mean? what happened?”

“Death. All around us there was death, changelings, guards and prisoners alike. And then Sombra killed one of shadows closest friends, or more, one of his only friends. Her name was Emerald, a turquoise unicorn.” she hesitated. “After that, Shadow went insane, he completely lost his mind. All his life he was building up rage, anger and hatred. Once emerald hit the ground, it was all released. All of it. He grew a horn, his cutie mark changed, his eyes turned to evil. He became an Alicorn temporarily”

“I thought that was only for the royally worthy…”

“Apparently not… He galloped straight for the King, attacking him, butchering him, burning him. Eventually, Sombra was incinerated, literally, Shadow burned him to death and the remains until there was nothing but ash…”

I said nothing, apparently my counterpart incinerated another pony… he couldn’t be me…

“After he came back to us, he kneeled down next to Emeralds body and used his magic to try and revive her but he overcharged the spell from anger. He revived the guards, the children of the night, even the changelings. Unfortunately, nopony knows if Sombra was revived from his ashes. We decided to have a peace treaty with the changelings for none wanted more death to occur but that soon past when the war arrived, it was chrysalis’s idea for revenge against the princesses for ruining her chances of ruling, but that is another story…” she paused. “After that, he called down and lost his horn but he never forgave himself for what he did that day, never.”

“But how is he my counterpart?!” I asked, confused.

“He was the bassist and lead singer of a band named ‘Iron Hoof’. he was a pacifist. He even had the same dream. He was a dark grey Pegasus with pure black mane and tail with red stripes running down them and his cutie mark was a Silver guitar plectrum with the sign of peace engraved onto it. The plectrum itself was singed in one corner from the fire that burned it.”

I looked at myself and noticed that I had the exact same features as she was describing except the red stripes in my mane and tail.

“You just said he had red stripes down his mane, why don’t I? I asked in confusion.

“I believe the red was dyed in by Emerald, hoping it would get him noticed by a mare.” she giggled.

I sighed in defeat and stood up (Not sure how but I managed it). I looked at my new body once more and remembered another thing that wasn’t clear to me.

“What does the fire mean? On the Cutie Mark.” I asked.

“Anger.” she said simply, also standing up. “The fire represents the anger that filled his mind.”

“And you said that the mark changed when he became an Alicorn.”

“Yes, I did. It was not just the corner of the plectrum burning, the whole thing was engulfed in fire.”

“That actually makes sense. And what of the other members of this ‘Iron Hoof’?

“There was Emerald, as you know. She was the rhythm guitarist. Dark Bolt but everypony called him Thunder, the lead guitarist and the brother of Emerald. He was a light grey Pegasus with a strange obsession for fezzes... And finally, Tyson, the drummer, blind. He was not a pony, he was a Zebra.”

“Sophie, Percy and Lance…” I said, counting them off.

Silence fell as I processed what had just been said. There was another creature out there like me. I wasn’t alone this whole time. But there was one difference that I couldn’t ignore: he had killed another pony, whether they were evil or not, he still had their blood on his hooves. Before I could think any more, my thoughts were interrupted.

“Come on, lets teach you about your new body.”

***

The six ponies and the rest of the band were still in the living room having their party. At this point the must have forgotten that me and Luna were absent.

Percy and Rainbow were drunk off their asses from all the cider they were drinking (Percy wearing a fez with two cider bottles strapped to it with straws coming out if them and into his mouth). Lance and Sophie were cuddling with each other, sleeping and The rest of the ponies were just having fun.

I’ve finally gotten used to my new body and I decided to go back to the party and catch up with anything I missed. I knock on the door and entered but what I found was exactly what Luna had expected. All the ponies gasped recognising me as someone that they knew before. And then there was Percy…

“WHY GOD?!?! WHY HAVE YOU CURSED ME LIKE THIS?!” He screamed, kneeling on the floor suddenly. This woke up Sophie and Lance. “WAS SEVEN NOT ENOUGH!?! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS PUNISHMENT!?! WHYYYYY?!!?”

“EXCUSE ME?!” came a chorus of feminine voices.