Celestia's New World

August 27

Waking up after a night of drinking. Not the best feeling in the world. Such is life... If I could get just a few more hours...

It took me a little while before I finally realized that something was amiss. I was lying in my bed. Man, that's... great. But... why? Celestia was the one that slept in my bed. Guess she can't persuade drunks.

Something else wasn't right. I was having a lot of trouble moving my arm. I felt sweaty. Did I forget to turn the fan on? It gets hot in here sometimes.

I finally opened my eyes, blinking a few times. Something bright was in front of me. I didn't know what it was. I still couldn't move my arm. I think it was caught in my blankets somehow. It felt really warm.

Something bright... This was... Hair. Her hair. Celestia's hair. Princess Celestia's hair... I blinked a few more times.

From where I laid, I could see her multicolored hair and part of her back. Unlike any time I had seen her before, her back was entirely bare. The rest of her was covered with a blanket. The same blanket that covered me...

As I pieced together what might have happened, or what might not have happened, I could only come to one conclusion.

Oh...

I blinked a few times. My mind was blank. I didn't know what do think.

My arms moved on their own, closing around her body. She was nothing but softness.

I heard a gentle chuckle from her. A hand gingerly touched my wrist. "Good morning."

I replied with my own quiet, "Good morning."

She didn't move. Neither did I. We laid still, together on this bed we shared. We had a lot to talk about. I had a lot to say to her. I'm sure she had a lot to say to me. Yet, we were silent.

My arms moved with her stomach, rising and falling with her every breath. To me, nothing was more important than this moment we shared. I would do anything to make it last.

Sadly, all good things must come to an end. That end would be a long yawn from the Princess in my arms. When she was done, she tapped my arm, signaling me to let go. Celestia pulled away from my embrace, sliding up the bed so that she was sitting against the headboard. She paid no mind to the blanket dropping into her lap, revealing her bare chest to me.

I sat up as well, unable to keep myself from stealing a glance. Her eyes met mine as I looked up. There was no shame or embarrassment in them. Whether it was because she was a pony or... some other reason, she didn't care that she was exposed.

"You don't remember... Do you? All the... things that you said to me... All the things that we did..."

I blinked. Her usually cheerful voice was... sad.

"You don't have to say it." She hung her head. "I can see it in your eyes."

What should I say to her? Do I... comfort her?

My thoughts stopped as she looked to me once more, meeting my eyes.

"Phil?"

"Yes?"

"Can you..." Her voice cracked. She cleared her throat and tried again. "Can you do something for me?"

"Yeah, sure. What’s up?" She wanted something from me? What?

"I just... need you to say something. It’s... important to me. I just really... really need to hear you say it." Her voice was shaking.

I didn't understand. I was getting concerned for her. "Are you alright?"

"Tell me... Tell me that you love me."

"What..." I was taken back by her request. This wasn't something small. Not to her and not to me.

"I keep thinking back to the picnic we shared. You said that you were attracted to me, but..." She looked away from my eyes.

"Celestia..."

"I don’t care if you have to lie to me..." she said, her voice cracking again, "I need to hear you say it."

"Celestia, I wouldn’t... I don’t lie about that. I don’t."

"Then say it... Say it like you did last night..."

"I love you."

Her eyes widened. She looked to me again, eyes narrowing. "That was too easy." she stated quietly, "Was that... really how you... Was that only because I asked?"

Only one thing came to mind. I barely gave it another thought before I leaned in and pressed my lips against hers. She didn't move away.

It lasted only a few seconds before I pulled away from her, a soft smacking sound as I did. My lips were tingling. My stomach was knotted. It may have just been a side effect of the hangover, but I liked this feeling.

We stared at each other. Her beautiful magenta eyes were so big. I couldn't look anywhere else.

"I love you, Celestia." I slowly moved my hand around her. "I think I always have."

I pulled her towards me for another kiss. This time, she did the same, placing her hand onto my leg. Her lips were so soft. I squeezed her tightly as we kissed, not wanting to let go.

It took a while before I pulled away. She opened her eyes, stunned. She didn't say anything. She didn't do anything. All she did was stare. Her eyes were still so big.

"I don't know if we've spent enough time together for me to really know it, but that's how I feel. And I know that this is a lot more complex than what you're asking me, but I don't care. I love you."

She blinked a few times, keeping silent.

"So..." I hesitated. Guess this is the question... "Does that mean that you..."

Her eyes briefly widened. She looked away again. "I don't know. I don't know how I feel. I've been in love before, but this feels different. It always feels different. I needed... I wanted to hear you say that after... what we did. What you said before... When we went on our little picnic... That I was beautiful, that I was..." She paused. "The more I thought about it, the more doubtful I became that you weren't just using me. Even if you were intoxicated. Maybe I was just using you... Maybe I knew it would happen. Maybe I... wanted it to happen..."

"If it means anything, it wasn't... my goal."

She took in a deep breath. "It... does. Thank you."

"So... What now? What does this all mean?"

She shook her head. "I don't know. What do you want it to mean?"

"I guess... I want it to mean..." I placed my hand on her cheek and met her eyes. "That... the two of us... could be together."

"Together?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Together. Would you like that, Celestia?"

I could see her face reddening. She smiled at me. "Yeah... I think I would."

I returned her smile with my own. "How does it feel?"

"It feels... normal."

"Normal?"

"I think so. I feel better."

"Good."

We stared at each other for a while, not knowing what to say. I gently caressed her face. She leaned into it, laying her head on my hand.

She stared into my eyes as I stared into hers. I pushed my lips against hers once more. This kiss was much longer. We kissed passionately, holding each other close.

A tiny smacking sound completed our connection. Our eyes opened to meet once again.

I slowly lifted my second hand around her body, straightening my own back inthe process. She moved with me, seemingly without knowing. She was curious about what would happen. I was a little curious myself...

I wrapped my arms around her bare back. She wrapped her arms around mine. She rested her chin on my shoulder. I held her tightly.

When she moved to hug me, her blanket shifted. I could see that she was completely naked. But right now, I didn't care about that. I just wanted to hold her. The warmth of her body put my mind at ease. The longer I held on, the less I wanted to let go.

She sniffed. I held her tighter.

"I never expected you to take me as your girlfriend." She let out a small laugh.

"I never expected you to accept me as your boyfriend." I replied.

"You know, you can be very talkative when you're drunk. You said a lot of things to me last night. A lot of it made sense."

"Hope I didn't say anything rude."

Her body shook as she chuckled again. "Oh no, nothing like that. Last night... you told me that it wasn't about love. The two of us were simply having fun the way that adults would. I know that some are only together for a single night. We ponies are the same. Even I am guilty of it. But... when a man and a woman share a bed... it should be about the love they share... Don't you think?"

"Yeah..."

"Even so... With you... I wouldn't have minded if it were just for fun..." She giggled.

She let go of me. I did the same. She leaned back against the headboard, looking to me. I joined her.

"I'll admit, I expected something a lot different before I first saw it."

"Hmm?"

"Your penis."

"Oh."

"I was surprised. It's so much different than a pony's penis. A little smaller than most I've seen, though."

"Ow."

She chuckled. "Don't fret, it was just a joke. This new body of mine... " She leaned against me. "Having sex with this human body was such a strange experience..."

I reached around her back and placed my hand onto her far hip. "Bet it was."

"How much of it do you remember?" she asked, looking at me with curious eyes.

"Nothing that happened here."

"Do you remember the bar?"

"Some of it. I get hazy after playing pool."

"If this is what happens when you get drunk, then maybe you should do it more often."

"Maybe we could skip the 'getting drunk' part."

"Maybe. It was... very... fun."

"Fun?"

"You took me by surprise. I haven't done anything like that with someone I had these kinds of feelings for in a very long time."

"Man, I just wanted to destress. I didn't think anything like this would happen."

"Oh, don't worry about that. You and I 'destressed' all night long."

I let out a laugh. That was kinda funny.

She gave me a smile. "Do you remember... after we had gotten back here, when you kissed me?"

"I don't."

"It was so sudden and out of nowhere. It was... powerful. Breathtaking... Well, now that I think about it, some of the feelings could've been more in my head. You're not a very good kisser."

"Hey."

"Everything after that went by so fast. The next thing I knew, we were on the bed, and you were on me."

"I don't need a rundown of what happened. I get the picture."

"It's a big picture. I didn't think we'd ever stop."

I sighed, smiling at her. "Hey, I'm hungry. Do you want some breakfast?"

She nodded. "Make me some pancakes."

"Alright. You coming with?"

"No, I'll wait here. I need rest. My body isn't used to such vigorous... activities."

I wanted to say something in jest, but my mind wandered back to the pancakes.

I pulled the blanket off my lap and stood up. She smiled at me, moving her eyes up and down my body. My clothes were at the end of the bed, which told a story on its own. She gazed at me as I dressed myself.

"Don't forget the syrup!" she called as I opened the door.

I just smiled at her, closing it behind me.

My first stop was the bathroom to do something about this headache. The mirror showed me what Celestia had been talking about. Bite marks covered my neck and shoulders and my back was covered in scratches. Now that I noticed them, they started stinging.

Shining was on the couch, but I didn't see Soulfire. I didn't particularly care right now.

Pancakes... How do I make pancakes? Flour, water, milk, and eggs, right? Do I even have any flour?

The flour jar was empty. I had to find a bag I hadn't opened yet. In my hunt, I managed to find some old poptarts that Celestia hadn't gotten to yet. Thankfully, a bag of flour was stashed away in a cupboard.

I looked up a recipe on my phone, not confident in my cooking skills. The clock told me that I was very late to work. I called my boss and gave him a brief talk.

As I poured batter into the pan, I sampled some with a spoon. After I was satisfied with my modest pile of pancakes, I cleaned up the mess I made. I grabbed the plate and brought it to Celestia.

By my second trip for toppings, Celestia had already scarfed one down and was stuffing her face with a second pancake, no silverware in sight.

"You're disgusting." I smiled. "That's probably why I like you."

She said something behind a mouthful of pancake.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be back."

"Milk!" she called after me.

I sat down next to her in the bed. She took the cup of milk I had poured for her and tipped it up. She let out a loud breath before setting it down. "This is delicious."

"Glad you like."

She suddenly stopped wolfing down her food.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Oh, I was just... thinking."

"I'm surprised."

"Shut up." She chuckled. "You didn't... You didn't use a condom. I might've gotten pregnant, you know..."

Isn't it funny how sudden news while you're eating can lead to unintended consequences? Pancakes going down the wrong pipe is not a pleasant feeling. Thankfully, I was able to cough it up before it did any damage.

"Jesus Christ..." I said through a string of coughs.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. Geez..."

"Well?"

"Well, what?"

"Anything... to say?"

"Anything to say, huh? Well... If you got pregnant... I guess I'd be ok with that."

I don't think she expected that answer. "That's not what I... Phil, you..." She paused. "R-Really?"

"I think so, yeah."

She stared at me with wide eyes for a long time before quietly saying, "Th-Thank you, Phil. That... makes me feel a lot better."

She was silent for a while, idly poking at her food with a smile. Her face was getting red.

"Well, it's... I've... I am..." She slowly brought her fork up to take a bite of her pancake, continuing to mumble with her mouth full. "It's not..."

"Celestia, I think you should calm down a bit."

She nodded. "You're right. I'm sorry. It's just... The thought of having a child has made me flustered. It's exciting, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess it is."

"But... back in Equestria, when I was a pony, I couldn't get pregnant. Not... Not normally, at least. It... An alicorn such as myself... I'm different from the other ponies. My body... works differently." She stopped, then looked away. "It must not make much sense to you, as a human." She seemed down...

"Do you want children, Celestia?"

"I do, yes. One to call my own... I've dreamt of it since I was a little filly. Though, 'little' to me still means much older than you. So... What about you?" she asked me, "Do you want children? You must, or else I'm sure you would've at least tried to pull away."

"God, you're disgusting."

"I had no control over the situation! That was all you!"

"Yeah and I'd do it again if I have to!"

"You can't threaten me with a good time!" she retorted, "Although... n-not now... Give a lady some time to recover... Well, Phil?"

"I dunno. I've thought about it, but I just... I just don't think I'm... responsible enough for them. You know?"

"I do."

"My brother and sister both have kids and I've spent a lot of time with them. I've seen what they can do. I'm just... not ready."

"You have siblings?" she asked, completely ignoring anything else I had said.

"I have two brothers and two sisters."

"Why haven't you told me yet?" She was cheerful again. I liked this smile. Funny... I was paying more attention to her smile than even her bare breasts. Now that I was thinking of them though...

"Well, it didn't come up."

"I was under the impression that you were an only child."

"Well, I'm not."

"So, are you younger or older than them?"

"I'm in the middle. Got a brother and sister on each side."

"How was it? Being a younger brother, I mean. Was it fun?"

"Well, it was alright. My older brother was usually nice, but sometimes he picked on me. And my sister was always really nice to us, even if we did get on her nerves a lot."

She sighed. "I don't know what Luna thinks of me. The time we've shared... The time we've spent apart... It's all so much."

"Take it from me Celestia, she thinks the world of you."

"You really think so?"

"That's how little brothers and sisters are. Deep down, they really care for you."

"It's always awkward whenever one of us touches on the subject of our relationship. I always feel she's hiding her true feelings from me."

"There's nothing to hide. She loves you, same as she always has."

"It's more complicated than that."

"Trust me, it isn't. Luna loves you more than any little sister can love her big sister."

She smiled. "You're such a sweet talker..."

I gave her a quick peck on her syrupy lips while we faced each other. Her expression warmed up fast.

She continued eating. We didn't speak for a while, but she broke the silence.

"So, if you did have a child, would you prefer a boy or a girl?"

"A boy. I'd be too scared my little baby girl would get an awful boyfriend. And boys are tough. You can just toss them outside and as long as they aren't eating dirt, you're doing a good job. What about you?"

"A girl, I think. It would be easier to relate to a girl."

"I suppose. Hey Celestia, could you cover up? I'm having a hard time paying attention to you."

"Hmm? You mean my chest?"

"Yeah, where's your bra?"

"Phil, we're a couple, now. I want you to be comfortable with that. I want you to be comfortable with... me. Pony or not, it is still my body." She smiled. "I want to share my body with you as your girlfriend."

"You just don't want to put it on, do you..."

"It's really tight! The straps dig into my shoulders."

"Alright, you don't have to cover up."

She chuckled. "I was afraid you were going to grab them again. You were so rough with them last night. Mmm... You were rough with my whole body." She snuggled against me. "I kinda like rough..."

I held her tighter against me. Suddenly, she chuckled. I looked at her. She smiled awkwardly.

"Not experiencing an orgasm for decades at a time does funny things to a lady's head." she said.

"Time to stop counting, right?"

She smiled at me. "Oh, you have absolutely no idea..."

Was that a yes or a no? "Hey Celestia... Would you have... done that if you didn't have any alcohol in you?" I asked her.

"I think I would have. I wasn't very inebriated in the first place. I did like you, Phil. There may not have been fireworks, but you could probably tell there was... something between us. I guess I was looking for someone like you."

"Someone like me?"

"Yeah..."

I stared at her for a few moments before saying, "I love you."

"You don't have to say it again." she said with a smile.

"I'll say it as many times as I want. As many times as you want me to, Celestia."

Her smile grew. A smile full of happiness. "Alright... Say it again."

"I love you."

"Again."

"I love you."

"A-Again..."

"I love you, Celestia."

Tears were beginning to form in her eyes. "O-One more time?"

I closed in on her for another kiss. She eagerly accepted my lips. I soon pulled away, gazing right into her eyes. "Celestia... I love you..."

Her eyes slowly closed. Tears dripped down her cheeks. She looked at me again through her tears and gave me a quiet, "Thank you..."

It didn't take long for the pancakes to disappear. When they were gone, we sat in silence. After a while, I gathered everything up and brought them into the kitchen for a rinsing.

Aside from a glance as I walked through the front room, Shining ignored me. I hope we didn't keep these guys awake...

Is my... car...

I checked out the front room window. It was nowhere to be seen. "Did I leave my car at the bar?" I asked Shining.

"You did. One of your friends took us back."

"Oh, ok."

I returned to Celestia and bent over the bed to give her a quick peck on the lips.

"I gotta go get my car back. I'll be back soon."

"Alright. I'll stay here, then. I don't know if I could come with even if I tried. My legs are still a little... numb..."

I blinked, unable to tell if she was serious or not. "Anyways, yeah. Twenty, thirty minutes, maybe. I should probably get a shirt on." I started putting on my clothes from last night, unwilling to get a new set. "Won't take me long."

"Come back soon... lover." She giggled. "Sorry, that sounded strange."

I left the room.

As I started putting my shoes on, Shining Armor stood up. "Where are you going?" he asked me.

"Just... gonna get my car."

"I think I'll come with."

"Alrighty then." I wasn't very fond of this idea, but it'd probably be better if he smacked me around outside where I wouldn't have to pay for the property damages. "Ready when you are."

He didn't tell his Princess that he was going, but I doubt it mattered.

It was already warm. The sun was out and there were few clouds in the sky.

"So..." Shining started, "You and the Princess..."

Quick and to the point. I looked to him, but didn't reply.

"I could hear you talking behind your door."

That's not your business... Maybe I'd say that if he wasn't her guard...

"Was all last night just building up to that?" He was speaking calmly, but he didn't seem happy with me.

"Look, I wasn't planning for this to happen. I just wanted to relax. You three put me through a lot of stress."

"That doesn't make it right."

"What do ya mean, 'doesn't make it right'? You don't get a say in what's right or wrong here." That came out more aggressive than I wanted it to.

"Don't tell me what I can or can't do. Especially if it involves my Princess."

"I'm not giving you an excuse. What happened, happened. If you're angry about it, bring it up with her."

He took a while to respond. "Princess Celestia is very important to me. Not only am I the captain of her royal guard, a position I take very seriously, but I am also part of her family. My wife is Princess Celestia's niece. This is not something that I can take lightly."

I nodded. Made sense.

"Look... It's supposed to be my duty to protect and serve the Princess. So... I'm going to give you a warning. If you do anything to hurt our Princess, you're going to pay. Do you understand?"

"Yes, yes I do. I understand." That's... a little scary, I will admit.

"Good. I'm sorry that I had to say that. You're a good guy and even if Soulfire doesn't seem to like you, he knows it too. The only thing we want is for our Princess to return home safe and sound. But... in the same vein... The way you treat our Princess is... troublesome."

"What do you mean?"

"You don't... seem... like you treat her with the respect she deserves as a Princess."

"I respect her. I respect her like I respect all my friends. In fact, I respect her a lot more than I respect my friends. I even respect the two of you guards."

"You do?"

"Well, yeah. You're guarding the rulers of a country. That kinda job don't come easy, I know that. It takes a lot of hard work to be put into that kinda position."

He nodded.

"Shining, when I talk to Celestia, I talk to her like she's my friend. Because she is. She's my friend. Was my friend. She's more than a friend. She's never gonna have any fun if everyone treats her the same way. And... And... I'm not capable of giving her the respect she deserves. She deserves more than I could possibly give her. So I do what I can. And as long as I see her smiling, I've done things right."

"That's very... romantic of you. I'm surprised. I can't believe the Princess actually took a liking to you. I've never seen her in a relationship before. It's nice to hear that she found someone, even someone like you."

"Like me?"

"You know, a human. Someone not from our world."

"Not from your world, huh? Hmm..."

"I think... she needed someone like you."

"A human?"

"Someone that treats her like a friend. She needed something like this."

Did he just tell me that Celestia needed to get laid?

"Celestia may be much older than the rest of us, but she can be just as normal as you or I am. She just doesn't see it that way very often. I think that she needed someone like you to treat her like you do. She doesn't open up that well to someone she doesn't trust."

"You think she trusts me?"

"I think she does. Sorry. My wife is better at this kind of stuff than I am. I'm just happy to see my Princess happy."

"Yeah, me too."

"No matter what I think, she decides what happens in her life. And if her choice is to... fall in love with a human, then it's our job to support her."

I was stuck on what he said earlier. Other world...

The car in the parking lot was thankfully undamaged. Shining got in the passenger side as I got in the driver's.

There was no damage, but something felt off. The more I drove, the more I felt it. I had a sneaking suspicion a while ago, but the faint grinding sound whenever I stopped confirmed it. The breaks were bad.

I took a wrong turn to try to hear it again.

"Where are we going?" he asked me.

"Shush, my car's making noise."

"What? It's always making noise."

"No, when I stop. Listen."

I stopped at a corner.

"I... don't hear anything." he said.

"The brakes are... old."

"What does that mean?"

"Mmm... Nothing much... I just... gotta replace them. Dang it... I'll need to take a look at them, buy new..." I grumbled to myself.

After I got out of the car, I gave the front tire a tap with my foot. Shining went back inside. I crossed my arms, thinking about the car. Maybe I should check more than just brakes.

I made a mental list of what I would need to pick up from the store as I walked back inside.

Celestia was sitting on the couch in her robe, wet hair draped to her side. There was a pleasant, soapy smell in the air.

"How did it go?" she asked.

"Made it back in one piece, didn't I? Ah, but there's an issue with my car."

"Issue?"

"The... brakes sound old, I probably need to replace them."

"Sounds fun."

I shrugged. "It is what it is."

She patted the couch next to where she was sitting, smiling at me as she did. She leaned against me as I joined her. Her wet hair was cool to the touch.

Her eyes flicked up at Shining Armor. He left into the kitchen. I heard his voice from the other room.

"You know, there are hand prints all over my butt." said Celestia, "It's no wonder I'm still sore. You were not very kind to my bottom."

I stared right at her. "How do you expect me to respond to that, Celestia?"

She giggled.

"I am not apologizing for art."

"Oh, is that what it was? I never understand you artists. What was your piece called?"

My first instinct was to come up with a witty response, but it felt a little immature.

"Oh wait, let me guess! Hmm..."

"You're being gross."

"Sorry. My mind's been in the gutter all morning. I'm just so... excited..." She giggled again. She smiled wide, then let out a loud girlish squeal. "Ahh! I finally have a boyfriend!" she cried out, snuggling tightly against my arm.

She looked up at me, smiling her perfect, little smile. I just smiled back at her. We just stared for a small while. Then, she laid against me, closing her eyes.

This was... Wow... This was incredible... Celestia was just... laying on me! She was laying on me like it was nothing! Oh my god...

I pulled my arm out from under her and rested it in her other side, holding her. She opened her eyes, looking up and smiling at me.

My mind was stuck on her. I couldn't think of anything else. Nothing else mattered as I gazed into her big purple eyes. She soon laid against me again, closing her eyes. I took in a breath. Wow...

"Your heart is beating so hard, Phil." She chuckled.

My heart beats for you.

It took me a while before I mustered up the nerve to say, "Hey, Celestia."

"Yes?"

"I need to go to the store."

Her eyes lit up. Her body pressed against mine in her excitement. "I want to come with!"

"Oh... Well, alright."

She gave me a giddy smile.

"You need to put some clothes on first, though." I said.

"I know, I know. I can't go into the public without clothes. That would be... distasteful..."

"To say the least, yeah. Before that though, I need to check my car. It's a bit old, so some of the parts are going bad."

She chuckled. "I hope you don't feel this way about all old things."

"Oh please, you can't be a day over 2000."

She smiled. "You'd be surprised..."

"Well, you're still a cutie."

She giggled.

I leaned my head down and kissed her on the forehead. "C'mon, up. I gotta check it."

"So soon?"

Regardless of how she felt, she got off me and stood up. I stood as well. She was just smiling. Her smile was infectious.

We had been together for less than a day and already we were acting so close to one another. I'm sure some doubt lingered in the back of her mind, but I think that she felt the same way I did. She wanted to enjoy this while she could.

I ran through a mental checklist as I opened the hood of my car. Engine, dirty. Oil, low. Battery, still there. I made sure the blinker fluid was topped off as well.

I heard the front door open. A smiling Celestia walked outside, a new set of clothes on. Her hair still looked wet.

"What are you doing?" she asked me.

"Uh... Maintenance." I said.

"What... are you maintenancing?"

I gave her a rundown of some common car issues I could remember. The list was smaller than I wanted it to be, I'm not a car person. I finished with, "I wanna check underneath, now."

"Underneath? Seems a little cramped."

"I've worked with tighter spaces before." I held a straight face as I looked to her.

She blinked. "And you say I'm disgusting..."

I smirked. "Well, I gotta lift it up first."

"Lift it up?"

"Yep. Be right back." I moved to the garage to retrieve the carjack. She watched as I got to work.

"That's an impressive device." she said, examining it closely, "I believe we have something similar in Equestria. I'm not certain though, it's not my area of expertise."

"Wanna help me jack?" I asked.

"What?"

"Hmm?" I moved to the side, opening my hand on the bar, offering it to her.

"Oh! Oh, that's what you meant. I'm sorry. Yes, I'll give it a try." She chuckled nervously.

I let her take it from me and watched as she did the same as I did, lifting the front of the car.

"You're pretty good at jacking, Celestia."

She chuckled. "I'll show you just how good I am at 'jacking' later."

I don't know if poking fun at her will work if she's going to respond so positively.

"That should be enough." I said, placing my hand onto hers to stop her. She let go of it.

I placed a jack stand underneath the car before lowering it. Celestia let out a tiny yelp of surprise as it dropped. I returned to the garage and retrieved a pair of safety glasses and a flashlight to check underneath. To my lack of surprise, it was rusty and grimy.

Celestia looked down at me from above the engine. When she noticed that I could see her, she smiled and waved.

Hmm... "Hey, Celestia."

"Yes?"

"Do me a favor, would you?"

"What do you need?"

"Get in and push on the brake pedal for me."

"Get in? While you're still under it?"

"Don't worry, I'm sure a few extra zeros to the weight will be fine."

She gave my leg a playful kick. "How rude!"

"Though, you do have a point." I pulled myself out from under the car before she got in.

Celestia sat in the driver's seat and looked down at me.

"The middle pedal." I said, "Just push it down with your foot."

She did as I asked. I was disappointed to find that it didn't sound out of the ordinary. I wanted to impress Celestia.

"Try it again." I said.

"What does this do, exactly?" she asked, pressing it down.

"The middle one is the brakes. Right is the accelerator and the left puts the car in gear. Don't touch that one, the car might move."

"Oh! Ok!"

I asked her to do it a few more times, but heard nothing. With a disappointed shrug, I stood up. I heard Celestia giggling.

"You're covered in dirt." she happily let out.

I shrugged, then brushed myself off. "Alright, then... Here." I reached into my pocket and took out my keys. "Turn it on for me."

"Turn it on?"

"Uh... Pull that lever, there." I said, pointing to the emergency brake in the center console.

"What's this?" she asked, pulling it up without hesitating.

"Emergency brake. Now the car's not going anywhere."

"Sounds like you should've pulled it before you crawled under."

"That... was a lapse in judgement." I said, admitting my mistake.

"Be more careful! I just got you!"

"Sorry. Alright, now push the brake in and the leftmost pedal in and turn the key forward."

She did exactly as I said, the car turned on, same as normal.

"I did it..." she said, looking at the steering wheel with a surprised look on her face, "I turned it on."

"Now you can touch the stick." That's what she said. "It's in first gear right now. Pull it back a small bit until it... um... releases and goes into neutral."

She pulled the gear shift back.

"Great, great. Let go of the clutch. The, uh... left pedal."

She did. No issues.

"Alright, you can let go of the brake, now."

She pulled her foot back, then looked at me. She was smiling wide, proud of what she accomplished.

The car sounded completely normal, which was what I expected.

I walked in front of the hood, obscuring my line of sight with her. The engine was... normal.

"Hey, push in the right pedal. Only a little, though."

"Ok!"

She pushed down on it. The car briefly got louder before returning to its idle level. I didn't notice anything wrong so far. That's good.

"Alright, turn it off." I said, "There's a button near the keyhole. Push that in and turn the keys back."

"Right!"

The sound quickly died down. I closed the hood, which showed me her smiling face behind the dirty windshield. She was having fun.

"Right. Put it back into first gear and disengage the emergency brake."

She did as I asked.

"Keys." I held out my hand to her.

She set the keys in my hand. I went to the back of the car and opened the trunk, retrieving the tire iron.

"You don't have to stay there if you don't want to, you know." I said to her.

"Oh, right." She got out and closed the door.

I sat down next to the tire and started removing the lug nuts one by one. I hit my palm against the tire iron when they didn't turn so I could loosen them up.

After the fifth one was off, I tried pulling on the tire. It didn't budge, so I slammed my foot against the tire until it came loose.

"Is that normal?" asked Celestia.

"Sometimes you just gotta use a little finesse." I replied, dropping the tire to the side.

"That's what you call finesse? I suppose that explains last night."

I removed the brake assembly to take a look. Celestia hovered over me at every step of the way, looking closely at the inner workings of the tires.

"Yep, I was right." I said, showing her the brake pads. "They're almost completely worn away."

"So this... squeezes the tires in order to stop the car?" she asked.

"Yep."

"Something like that would cause a lot of friction. What are these made out of? Perhaps I could employ such a device in Equestria."

"I dunno. Some kind of metal."

"Metal? How does the brake pedal cause these brakes to work?"

"It's a... uh... a hydraulic system. You'll have to look this up on your own. I don't know much more than that."

"Interesting..."

I worked the pieces back onto the car and stood up. Reassembly was easier than disassembly.

"Stand back, I'm gonna lower it." I said to her.

She took a step away before the car dropped back onto the ground. Celestia helped me put away the tools I had used.

I turned to her. "Hey, Celestia."

"Yes?"

"Thanks for the help."

She smiled warmly. "Of course. Are we leaving now?"

"Yep. You should probably let them know."

"Mmm... I should. Don't go without me." She smiled before turning and walking back to the house.

I looked to the house, then back to the car. I wanted to talk to her again, just the two l of us. I just couldn't figure out what I wanted to say.

Shining Armor came with us. Soulfire was busy eating, so he got a free pass. The trip to the store was a quick one and I easily found what I needed.

The two of them had no idea what most of the stuff there was. Some of it confused me as well. Again, I wasn't a car person. After we got home, Shining went back inside at his first opportunity, leaving Celestia to watch me work.

The brakes weren't hard to replace, just time consuming. Thankfully, I had a handy assistant. I'm glad she was out here for a number of reasons.

I had no idea how long it took before I was done. My hands were covered in grime. In retrospect, I probably should've worn gloves.

"Alright... done." I said to myself, satisfied with my work.

"You're done?"

"Yep. Thanks for the help, I really appreciate it."

"Of course! So... Is this... something you do often?"

I walked to the door where she sat. "Not all the time, but yeah. Every few months, you're supposed to do some fixing up on these guys. Especially if they're older like mine." I patted the top of my car. "I haven't done this since I got it, it was due."

"Interesting."

I started cleaning the driveway, Celestia eagerly helping me pick up the tools.

"You know, there is one other thing I could do to it." I said.

"What's that?"

"I could wash it."

"Wash it? How do you wash a car? Soap and water?"

"Sometimes."

"Oh!" She didn't expect me to tell her yes.

"Though I prefer taking it to an automatic car wash. It's much faster."

"Can I come?"

"Well, I won't stop you."

She giggled. "Good!"

"I'll be back soon." I told her, "Gotta clean myself off a bit."

She smiled. "I'll wait here, then. Make sure my guards know. They get so grumpy when they don't know where I am."

"Yeah, I wonder why..." I sarcastically let out.

She let out another laugh.

I headed back inside so I could clean the grease off my hands. Soulfire stood in the doorway, which meant that it was his turn to talk to me. He said Shining had already spoken to him, but I felt like he wasn't as ok with it as he led on. Of course, if I pursued it, he'd probably skin me and turn my skull into a hat.

I heard a brief car horn that made Soulfire jump. I just laughed at him.

"What was that?"

"Oh, just the car horn." I answered, "Celestia's waiting out there."

I told him where I was going and that I was taking the Princess, which of course meant that he was coming with. Or he was, until Shining stepped in for him. Soulfire seemed relieved that he didn't have to spend any more time with me than he had to. I don't think he liked me very much.

Shining and I walked back outside. Celestia was still sitting in the driver's seat.

"Sorry!" she called, "That was me."

"Don't worry about it." I replied, "Scoot over, you don't know how to drive."

She gave me a brief, exaggerated disappointed look before climbing over the center console into the passenger seat.

The two of us got into the car.

"Is a car wash exactly what it sounds like?" she asked.

"Not even close." I replied, "You know, other than the car getting washed."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You'll see."

I drove my little party to a nearby car wash. It was near Woodman's, so Celestia recognized the area. I parked the car in the empty queue line to the automatic wash. There was a car inside right now though, so we had to wait on him. I paid for it using the terminal next to me.

"Is waiting normal?" she asked me.

"Yeah, it's normal."

"What exactly does a 'car wash' entail?"

"Don't worry, you'll like it."

"How do you know?" she asked.

"You like everything."

She giggled. "I suppose that's true."

It was a little awkward for me with Shining in the car, but I guess that's a tad unavoidable.

The door opened. We watched the other car pull out. I drove inside.

"Seems a bit drab." said Celestia. She looked up. "What's that?"

"That's what dries the car when you pull out." I replied. I do not think she knows what's coming.

I stopped the car.

The machines started moving. Celestia's eyes widened in shock as she watched the machine above us move to the back of my car.

"This is what you meant..." she said, a surprised tone in her voice. She smiled, then started to laugh.

I glanced back at Shining. He seemed just as surprised as his Princess.

This was what I was hoping for... Their complete bewilderment. More so with Celestia. Shining was just a bonus. It was hilarious. I was just getting my car cleaned and Celestia was giggling and giggling as she watched the machine move back and forth.

Even I was entertained by the car wash, but watching Celestia giggle like a little child was more entertaining. What made her think this was funny? I mean, I expected a surprised reaction from her, but not laughter. I liked the sound of her laugh...

This was straight out of an anime, I swear. Which one though, was the question... Jojo.

It didn't last especially long, as is typical for a car wash. Celestia's favorite part was definitely the colored soap covering the windows.

Celestia took in a deep breath and smiled widely. "Oh, that was fun." she said as I pulled the car out.

"Yeah, you looked like you were having fun."

"It was certainly something." said Shining.

"Ready to head home?" I asked her.

"Can we do it again?"

"Celestia."

"Sorry." She laughed again.

I took us home. What an eventful and enlightening trip. We all headed inside and settled down for the day.

I took a relaxing shower to get rid of the rest of the dirt on my body from playing with the car. Just what the day called for. I made sure to bring clothes into the bathroom beforehand so I could dress myself before I got out.

That night, the Princess and I slept in separate rooms, just like before. Celestia gave me a strange look when I got onto the couch, but just smiled and closed the door behind her.

Confound these ponies, they drive me to drink.