Rob's New Beginnings

Chapter 3

“Well, this has been a weird day.”

Indeed, for the McCloy Ranch, it was a weird day. At least, for Rob, who just had an encounter with a slightly off-normal Pinkie, and a rather troublesome insect. But, if you took a look at the damage to the ranch, you’d know, in a second, what it was…

Trying to get some rows plowed and tilled for a special crop, McCloy was more than focused. Rob, having nothing to do yet (McCloy asked him in advance to prepare the crop’s seeds), is not. Starting to lose attention, he began a brisk jog around the inside of the fencing. Coming around to the barn, he heard a faint buzzing, and… munching… intent to see what it was, he moved quietly to the barn. Before he got there, a round insect (rather, that’s what it looked like to him) popped out of nowhere… with the cutest facial expression a pony ever saw. Taken slightly off-guard by its appearance, he spoke to it, “Well, aren’t you just the cutest thing. Never seen a feller like you back in Stalliongrad.”

He went to push it aside, but encountered the weirdest feeling ever- pure static. “Ah!” he sharply exclaimed, not expecting it at all. “What the- h… how?” Now quite interested, he went to touch it again, and felt… fur. “Oh. That’s how! My, cute on the outside, and fuzzy and soft to the touch. I bet the mares just wanna hug you ‘til you can’t take it any more!” retorted Rob; clearly, the insect had cemented his interest solidly. If only he’d actually seen the other side of the barn… Instead, he brought the creature over to McCloy.

“Hey McCloy! You seen one of these things before?” Rob asked of the elder. After looking the insect over multiple times, he simply replied, “I might have. Can’t seem to recall it at the moment.” At that moment, the creature let out a cooing noise to try to garner affection. Looking around, Rob noticed that it wasn’t alone… and that there were 3 others heading over… he turned to ask McCloy about the new arrivals, but the elder was nowhere to be seen. The cooing intensified as all four floated around the field in almost a dance-like pattern…

“Oh, nonononono! Rob, get away!” was all he heard, before being tackled to the ground. “Hi, Pink,” he managed to say. “Why didn’t you call me sooner?!” she practically screamed. Seeing his confused expression, she remarked, “the Parasprites?! Ya know, eat non-edible objects, multiply like mad, become a living terror?!”

Still confused, all Rob uttered was, “…non-edible… objects…?”

Pinkie finally gave up on trying to explain to him, and began humming an all-too-familiar tune. As if in a trance, the few Parasprites there (which had quickly grown to 12) began lining up behind her. Rob could only stare, trying to comprehend what the hay just happened. On her way out, Pinkie gave Rob a glare, trying to say, “you’re welcome.”

Rob watched the procession until the pony-and-sprite parade was out of sight. He then rushed over to the barn to see that, in fact, ‘non-edible objects’ included wood… which the barn was now missing a lot of. ‘It’s a wonder it’s still standing,’ bemused Rob, as he saw it slowly listing.

Walking back to the house, he caught sight of McCloy, apparently having entered the home. “What did you go do?” he inquired. The elder only replied, “I knew what those things were after I heard its noisemaking.” Connecting two and two, Rob figured he must have called Pinkie, knowing something Rob probably didn’t want to.

“This has happened before?”

“Yup.”

“When?”

“I don’t quite recall, but it was a mess. They ended up wrecking the whole town.”

“…ouch.”

“Well, it was a while back… all I know is, apparently, Fillydelphia suffered the same fate as us… same day too.”

“Good thing I wasn’t here or there at the time, then,” Rob tried to chuckle off. McCloy gave a chuckle himself, and the two set off to find some wood… the barn’s not gonna fix itself.

While McCloy checked locally, Rob went out farther, checking all over the town. He returned with nothing. “I’ll get on ordering some from Fillydelphia or Manehattan,” sighed Rob. “You do that, and I’ll try to keep the barn from tipping any further,” McCloy said in reply.

‘Well, no lumber in town means I’ll have to wait on that order to ship before any more of my house gets finished… might as well go back and check on things,’ Rob silently mused, already thinking of the implications this could have if things didn’t get completed in time… Thinking past today, he realized he would need to stock up on ink once again.

“…well, this has been a weird day,” he said to himself, humming the tune he heard from Pinkie.

A week has passed, luckily with not much more trouble. Pinkie had told McCloy that the Parasprites found the other day were the only ones around town, because of his call to her. The lumber ordered from Fillydelphia has not arrived yet, so the barn is still in disarray. The whole week, Rob has been attempting to keep himself amused; having nothing to do, especially since it used to be filled with house-working, leaves one scrambling for activities… and excuses.

If he counted correctly, he was asked to at least 9 different parties… or was it 11? Either one, he had to make up everything from an excuse, to a reason, and anything he could just plain think up, to avoid something he apparently dreaded. He figures it’s from the time spent in the frigid North, where it’s not very likely that any hosted party was either for those of his age group (singling them out further), or done so in a… respectable… manner. And, each one apparently made the party pony all the more steeled to get him to go.

Waking up, Rob silently wished today would not be one of those days. Stretching out from another night with no solid bed (he had, however, moved up from ‘bare floor’ to ‘comforter’ in the last couple weeks), he noticed a pegasus pony flying his way. As she neared, however, he noticed four things: the mare was carrying a mailbag, her coat was a light smoky gray, her eyes and mane were a (stark) contrast of amber-yellow, and those same eyes were crossed.

She landed on the floor of the home (since there still was no roof to speak of), and brightly proclaimed, “Hi there! I’m the mailmare, and you have mail!”

Rob could only garner, “I have… mail.”

“Erm, yeah, everypony gets mail!”

“Then how have we never met?” he inquired.

“Simple, you’ve never… had… mail… before…” she finished slowly, realizing the implication. “Oh, muffins! I must have mixed up your mail, or I lost it! Oh, no, what if I did?”

Rob almost let her carry on before stopping her. “It’s alright, I really have had no mail yet... as far as I know. I’m surprised that you received mail for me, and that you knew where I was.”

She paused to think, before saying, “Oh! That’s right! Pinkie asked me to give you this!” while pulling a bright pink envelope out of her bag. “She also told me where to find you.”

“Ah, I see.” Rob gingerly accepted the envelope, before asking, “by the way, what is your name, since this is our first time actually meeting one another.”

“Ditzy Doo!” she brightly replied.

“Well, it was nice to meet you, Ditzy. I hope I get more mail, heh.”

“Well, if you ever do, not saying you won’t, I’ll deliver it with… what was the rest of the motto…? Oh yeah! With 80% guaranteed delivery!” She then flew off, ready to deliver the rest of her mail.

Chuckling slightly, having met somepony new (and somepony slightly entertaining at that), he opened the envelope. When he saw the inside, however… his gut clenched, his lungs ached, his brain shut down, and his throat closed up, threatening to choke Rob… for inside, was something he had never encountered once in his life before: a written invitation. To a party. And, not just any party, but a birthday celebration. In his own name.

Struggling to come to terms with this, he read it through multiple times.

20th Birthday Celebration

Of Rob, on the 27th of September,

held at the Sugarcube Corner,

at 7:30 pm sharp.

Music hosted by DJ PON-3

Hostess: Pinkie Pie

Just as his brain finally kicked back into place, he read a small hand-written note near the bottom that threatened to shut down his mind once more:

You better be there, or I will haul you over myself. And yes, I mean it.

-Pinkie

Finally, after about 20 minutes, all he could manage to say was, “…how did she know my birthday? I haven’t told a soul!”

Finally glancing over to the clock, he exclaimed. “I have to be at work in 40! I haven’t eaten breakfast, so I need to do that, oh blast, do I need more ink?” In his confusion, which was only aided by his trying to untangle his bag from his hooves, Rob stumbled over the edge of the flooring, making it the second time he’d fallen out of his own home under his own free will. “…ow.”

Working his way through town, he was thinking of what he ought to be getting for breakfast, instead of watching the growing dust cloud rapidly approaching him. With a loud clatter, the two collided. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he noticed that the object in question was actually three: the pegasus, earth pony (who he immediately recognized as Applebloom), and unicorn trio.

They immediately sprang to their hooves, trying to apologize over one another. Chuckling, Rob calmed them down, saying, “hey, woah, it’s alright… nopony's hurt, right?” They gave themselves a look over, each proclaiming “nope!” “Sorry, mister, again, fer runnin’ into ya,” Applebloom started up again. Rob could only chuckle this off.

After a minute, though, the young pegasus's eyes betrayed a glint of recognition. “Hm? Got something to say, um… erm…”

“Scootaloo.”

“Ah, thanks. Scootaloo. Got something to say?” Rob inquired with a smile.

“Well… I was talking to somepony the other day… and I think I recognize you.”

“Oh?” Now his curiosity was piqued. “Well, who was it, and what were they saying ‘bout me?”

“Well, she was telling me about how much--” Scootaloo never got to finish this sentence, as Applebloom and the unicorn filly tackled her to the ground. Her retorts were muffled by hooves.

“Aheh, Ah'm sorry, Rob, Scootaloo here was about to blurt out ‘nother pony’s secrets!” Applebloom said rather sharply, more towards Scootaloo than Rob. Having broken free of the two fillies' restraints, she replied, “Says who, Apple??”

Then they broke out into another dust cloud, this one mostly immobile, as they began tussling with one another. Rob could only back up, trying to stay out of the ‘brawl.’ The dust cloud would spit out words and phrases occasionally, like, “That’s not a good thing, dodo! You don‘t spill secrets!” and “Don’t use words I don’t know!!” One might have found this humorous for a while, had they not been Rob, who was now trying to get to the ranch for work, all the while thinking… ‘Who said what about me?’

The next day, things at the farm were relatively peaceful. At least, until about 2 o’clock.

As Rob and McCloy were about to finally get working on fixing the farm (the wood they were waiting on finally arrived), the sky darkened imperceptibly at first, then slowly darkened to a serious storm. “Funny, nothing about this from the weatherponies,” remarked both McCloy and Rob. Then, whack! as an object struck Rob sharply in the head. He bent to pick it up, and, looking at it, he noticed it was a piece of… “…hail?”

Almost at his beckon, the storm broke out. A severe wind picked up, threatening to pick up McCloy in a comedic fashion. “Down, baaad wind. I said bad!” he retorted, as he was slightly lifted. Following that, the rain let loose, soaking anything under it well within a minute. Rob could barely see through the rain. He struggled to get over to McCloy, who was back on terra firma. “C’mon! We need to get to somewhere dry!” he yelled at the elder.

“Why’s that? It’s just rain and wind!”

“Because it’s not going to be just that…”

A loud clattering confirmed this, as hail started to drop without mercy. “C’mon, McCloy!” Hobbling through the stinging hail and rain, they finally managed to get to the house. The storm blew over in a couple of hours; during its run, however, the rain, wind, and hail gouged the farmland, ripping topsoil and freshly-planted seeds and tossing them to the crosswinds. The hail managed to punch out some more of the barn’s remaining roof, and knocked out a couple windows in the house itself.

After the storm finally dissipated, they stepped outside to view the damage. They were greeted by a slightly-bruised Rainbow Dash.

“Eheh, sorry about that guys… a freak storm blew over from the Everfree, and we tried to subdue it before it hit town.”

“Wait,” asked Rob. “Wasn’t just us?”

“Nah, dude, it hit a good portion of the town… though it didn’t hit nearly as hard. We couldn’t work our way over here, you were near the eye,” responded Dash.

“Well, I suppose we will have to get back on this tomorrow, Rob. For now, there’s nothing else to do,” mused a slightly solemn McCloy. “Pay’s on the table. Dash, if you’d care for a drink or some tea?” Rob headed in with the other two, Dash slightly wincing, and headed out shortly after, pay in his bag, feeling like nothing had been gained today. Reminding himself that he had a book to return, and a party to prepare for, he set off for town.

Continued in Chapter 4...