A Short Tale

Chapter 23: Cleansing A World

Travian refused to do any sort of archery practice for the next few weeks in his time there. Instead, he practiced with his spear. He considered himself less than adequate, which would serve him just great. Mayella asked once if she could try, to which Travian responded with a negative of immeasurable quantity. He gave a long winded explanation which was confusing and more than ninety percent fake. It was enough for her to look sad enough for him to hug her and say "Maybe when you're older." He loved saying that.

That was what he was up to for a few weeks. Or so he thought. It was actually three months. Time passed much quicker for him apparently. He woke up one morning to some form of song. He noted it was much to early for this. He also noted how he couldn't swear for some odd reason. Whenever he tried, it always ended in pain. For example, he tried before he realized it.

"It's way too early for this sh-" his sentence was cut off by a carrot to the face. He looked over to see Angel with a sheepish grin. He ran over to the carrot and picked it up and walked away. "I hate that f-" Next an acorn smacked his face. A squirrel did the same thing. "You know what? F-" To finish things off, a bout of snow fell off the cottage and onto his head, silencing him. Finally, he roared in rage. He couldn't get what he wanted today.

He decided it was time to get up. Through the snow he trudged, endearing the large amounts of- There was remarkably less snow. Suddenly, something smacked him the back of the head. It wasn't physical, but he had to sing out some words to make it go away. He just couldn't explain why.

"Something's awfully wrong, something of which I can't explain!

The snow on the ground is running thin, but I can't explain in which way.

Maybe these ponies are messing with nature they do not know...

For their shame and everything else, their failure will surely show!" A few more words entered his mind so rudely. He wasn't even sure why he was still singing.

"Winter Wrap Up, Winter Wrap Up!

This snow was oh so dear...

Winter Wrap Up! Winter Wrap Up!

Dunno why I'm still singin' here,

Dunno why I'm still singin' here!" He almost slapped himself to stop. Thankfully, the music ended. It was horrifying. He never wanted to sing ever again after that. He already never wanted to sing again due to him not liking his singing voice that much. Of course, in came Mayella to ruin everything.

"You have a nice singing voice..."

"Well your voice has always been getting nicer." It was true. Her voice was rather monotonous when he first met her, but it had been constantly getting sweeter to listen to.

"That's because us changelings get a better voice the more love we get." She looked as though he was supposed to get something. He didn't see anything to get. It was a fact.

"That's interesting. Good thing you're a strangeling." He started giggling at this, while Mayella looked upset for a second, but then laughed a little bit along with him. It was fun teasing her, admittedly. T'would be a shame if something were to stop that. He observed his surroundings and spotted something unfamiliar. A brown pony with an hourglass on him was towing around a wagon, and there was the menace there with him. A few more followed suit. He realized what they were doing...

"Oi! You don't go around on my land, placing 'No Fun Allowed' signs!" He was rushing forward, and it scared all the ponies away. All except for the brown one, who was struggling to unlatch his wagon.

"Blasted hooves... I don't even know how to use these things! Uh... Guys! Help!" His head was facing the other way, trying to call for help. It was pitiful, so Travian took pity. He walked forward at a slower pace.

"Any particular reason you all are getting rid of the snow?" The brown pony was now freaking out, frantically trying to use his hooves before falling down in defeat, almost like a cartoon. Strange, but not the strangest thing he had ever seen. "Okay, so-"

"Just please don't eat me... I've already been through that, and it is NOT fun. If only Derpy were here..." Travian honestly thought of eating him at that moment, but shoved it aside. Stupid fish, not satisfying his cravings enough.

"I ain't gonna eat you. I'm only gonna scare you till your wits end and then unlatch you and watch you run away screaming." The pony sighed, as though he were relieved. He got back up to his feet.

"Well good thing you aren't that bad. And good thing I've seen worse than you, otherwise I would be scared." What.

"Wait wait wait wait. Hold up. You've seen worse." He nodded. "Just who do you think you are?"

"Well um... I go by lots of names! Um..."

"Gimme one of your word names, like Dayshine Rainfall, or something." What was up with pony names? It was crazy what they could come up with. He placed a hoof to his chin.

"Um... You can call me... Eh... Doctor... Hooves! Yes. Doctor Hooves," he replied as he made some form of grin. To Travian, that was among the WORST names he had heard. Doctor? Do ponies even have doctors, or do they have veterinarians? And putting hooves in there as all?

"Right. That's a convincing name." Travian took a knee as he said that and prepared to unlatch 'Doctor Hooves'. He then found a great pun. "Since I don't know who you are, I'm gonna call you Doctor... WHOoves! Get it?"

"Like, who in front of 'ooves'?" Travian nodded. "Ah, that's brilliant! Why didn't I think of that?" Travian finally got the Doctor free.

"It's curss I'm smurt en yur nurt." He stood over the pony. "Now go on off to your friends or something."

"It was nice getting a name from you! I look forward to talking to you... What was your name again?"

"Longshot." Doctor Whooves looked pale for one moment, but got back to his normal self in seconds. Somebody might actually know who he was, and he WASN'T being super paranoid this time... This would prove most enjoyable to test in the future.

The ponies came back and purged the land of the snow. Travian made himself relatively unseen. He cried a little as his one true love was taken away so quickly. It would be back next year, right? Well... If he were here this long. His brother would probably rain on his parade right before the snow came back. That's what he normally does, at least. Sometimes, he really disliked his brother. He never hated him because he was always a card, nobody can hate on a card when there are only fifty two of them! Except for the fact that he was a joker, but that was besides the point.

After his crying which totally didn't last for a few minutes, he slumped down on the cottage. He really made it out here. He had a bow that could destroy magic, an endless quiver, a broom spear, and a good, hardened, somewhat morally-questionable soul. All was well. It was until he received an unexpected guest. "Ooh look! A white horsey! You see that sometimes, I think. At least I saw it sometimes..."

"I think you've been living here long enough to be considered one of my subjects." Travian got right up. He stood at his highest, which was only a head taller than her horn, and let his eyes feast upon hers. That all changed when a slap covered her face.

"No. I follow no royalty." He had to call bull- His thoughts were interrupted as he was slapped across the face with magic. He felt the area of pain before looking back. "I accept your challenge." He brought his hand back, ready to pimp slap this princess's face.

It was held with magic. "While I found that rather rude, I am not here to start fights. I would just like to call you an Equestrian citizen." That was a boring title.

"Why not Equestrian denizen?"

"Because I am giving you the same rights as I would give a pony right now." He could so get a job now. That's what he needed... A job. Something to do with his time. He looked at her and-

"Your hair is alive." He almost wanted to pet it. He did get to pet it.

"I... I'm sorry, but I'm at a loss for words. For thousands of years, I have been ruling, and not once have I encountered anything like this. Excuse me if I take a moment to think of something." He gave her a moment by noticing the pattern of her hair. How did it do that? Did she use some sort of special-magic-awesome hair gel or something? "So... Um. Okay, well, I think my kingdom is calling me."

"You said it wrong." Perfect. She was actually listening.

"Oh? And just how would I say it?" He had to pull a Twiright.

"It's 'I think my laundry is calling me'. Duh." Off she went with a little giggle. Stupid teleporting horses. Don't know a single thing about laundry and phones.

His life continued on for a few more hours until he was interrupted in his no interruption spree. It was a butter colored winged baby horse that disturbed him. He was not in the best of moods due to him accidentally slipping and falling on a rock due to him trying to swear. "Oh... Um, are you al-"

He raised his head. "WHAT?! Every time I try to succeed, you ponies are always there! It's getting ridiculous!" He tried pulling himself up.

"Oh um... I-I didn't mean to... I just-" He was on his feet now.

"Kay I'm gud. Whaddya need, Flutstrut?" She started blabbing off, while apologizing simultaneously, about censuses and those general things. She mentioned another animal he didn't know called a 'goose'. "Flutz, I ain't exactly all for the whole census stuff. Admittedly, it'd be nice to get near some animals... Could probably eat them..." He slapped out of it by applying a hand to his cheek at a high velocity. "Yeah but I won't be able to join you, or whatever. Buzz off. Well actually... I guess technically you have to fly off. Though you don't fly around often, so I guess you can walk off. I dunno, what do you think F?"

"Um... Okay... I guess I'd be... Walking off?" Time to remind her of a cliche.

"Have fun in the sunset." There was an awkward silence.

"What do mean by tha-"

"Just go away, I'm stooped and I don't want to spread the disease." He made a shooing motion towards her with his hand. He saw her friends doing it once, so they obviously knew about it and it's symbolism. As she walked off away from the sunset, rather disappointingly, he got a great view of what he always loves to watch... A leaf falling out of a tree.