The Butterfly Bandit

Luna’s moon hung high in the sky, its light shining through the windows of Cloudsdale’s Cloudiseum. Silently, unseen against the night sky, a strange pony slipped in, her appearance resembling a large, blue butterfly.

“Is everything secure?” a voice from down the hall asked.

The intruder silently flew up and clung to the ceiling, quietly crawling to eavesdrop on the conversation.

“Spitfire herself locked the safe, sir,” a guard reported.

“Good,” the other guard said. He seemed to be this one’s superior. “Are you up for a patrolling the area tonight? Keep the doors locked, and make sure nopony enters the safe room.”

“All by myself, sir?” the guard asked.

“Relax, rookie. There are other patrols outside in case you need help. I doubt anypony would dare to rob the Wonderbolts, anyway.”

The butterfly above couldn’t help but smile at hearing that, as she repositioned herself to be out of the light. She reached back and pulled her tail up between her legs as she hung upside down from the ceiling.

Clamping the end in her mouth to keep it from slipping into view, the intruder quietly watched as the guard began his rounds, looking around anxiously as he began trotting down the hall leading around the Cloudiseum.

One, two, three… The intruder counted off in her head, timing how long a single rotation would take.

The guard trotted back into view. Though he was still looking around anxiously, he seemed to be relaxing. Five minutes. One, two, three… Seeing his relaxed state, the intruder felt the need to count again.

In another few minutes, the guard returned to view. The intruder began shuffling as quietly as she could after him. Only three minutes that time… Not as much time as I’d hope…

The guard seemed to have calmed his nerves by focusing his full attention on the hallways and one room in particular. Stopping in front of this room, the guard glanced through the window on the door, before trotting on down the hall.

After making sure the coast was clear, the butterfly gently fluttered down to look into the room herself. She saw the Cloudiseum Director’s office complete with a very conspicuous painting of the Wonderbolts hanging on a wall that wasn’t made of cloud.

Not many parts of this place is made of non-cloud material, the intruder thought. Certainly nothing unimportant would get the honor. Quickly looking around again, she let go of her tail, and pulled out two small pins from her jumpsuit. Holding them in her mouth, she manipulated them in the door’s lock with her tongue, until she heard a soft click.

She placed the pins back in her jumpsuit, grabbed her tail again, and flew back up to cling to the ceiling in the shadows, waiting for the guard to pass again.

The guard trotted past again, and the intruder smiled to herself again upon seeing the guard merely look through the window again, and not check the lock. Once he was satisfied the room was unoccupied, the guard trotted down the hall.

The intruder dropped down again, spreading her wings to silently glide down to the door. She opened it and quietly snuck inside. Counting in her head the three minutes she had, she carefully lowered the painting down from the wall, revealing a locked safe.

She opened another pouch on the underside of her jumpsuit, taking out a small bottle of bugs. She opened it, and placed it near the edge of the lock, where a small crack to the inner gears were.

“You know what to do, my friends,” she whispered, as the insects crawled out of the bottle and into the lock. She watched as the rotary seemingly turned itself, before clicking open.

“Thank you all,” she smiled, gathering her tiny accomplices back into the bottle before stowing it away into her jumpsuit as she opened the safe.

Stacked to the brim, the safe was stuffed with an assortment of bits and gems. She licked her lips with an almost hunger for them as she spread her wings, and swept the contents away into a bag.

As she turned to leave, pulling her calling card out to leave behind, she spotted a roll of tickets on the desk for that weekend’s Wonderbolts performance. Her eyes lit up behind her mask upon seeing what was, in her mind, potentially an even greater prize than the safe.

The guard soon returned, peering into the room, and smiling upon seeing nothing has been disturbed. As he turned to continue onwards, however, something on the desk caught his eye. Sitting on the desk was something he didn’t recognize.

Pulling out a key, he undid the lock and trotted into the room to examine a strange card. Had he been clever enough to make sure the room was clear first, he would have noticed the pony sized ‘butterfly’ clinging to the ceiling above the door.

I love working with rookies, the thief smiled, slipping silently out the door and, upon seeing no guards flying outside, soared out the window across the hall, dropping down to fly unseen beneath the pegasus city.

The guard, meanwhile, inadvertently aided in her escape by calling all guards away from the thief’s escape route and to the Director’s office, incoherently blabbering in the midst of a freak out over the butterfly adorned business card he found on the desk.

“Terribly sorry, but I’m afraid I couldn’t resist. My apologies for stealing the contents of your safe. Yours Truly, The Butterfly Bandit”

The sun had barely risen, and already the Cloudiseum was filled with the Royal Guards and Cloudsdale Police as they searched for clues. Spitfire herself was in the Director’s Office, being debriefed on the theft.

“And how could somepony have snuck in and pulled off this theft?” Spitfire asked, glaring at the guard.

“I-I’m sorry,” he stuttered. “I don’t know how this pony slipped by me.”

“It’s not just your fault,” said Spitfire, rounding on the other guards. “You were on patrol outside, were you not? How could you miss somepony breaking in and out with a bag of bits!?”

“Calm yourself, Spitfire,” a Royal Guard cautioned.

“But, Inspector,” Spitfire began.

“I don’t want to hear it,” he said. “This is your fault for hiring such a shoddy security team instead of using the Royal Guard.”

“Ah, you must be the great Inspector Storm Chaser?” a voice asked.

Everypony in the room turned, to see two ponies standing in the doorway. One was a green unicorn mare, with dark green eyes and a yellow green mane and tail. Her Cutie Mark was a magnifying glass. Atop her head was a deerstalker cap. She wore a monocle over her left eye. The other was a yellow pegasus with light blue eyes, and a white mane and tail. Her Cutie Mark was obscured by the saddle bags she wore.

Immediately, the guards in the room took defensive poses, as the Inspector stepped towards the new arrivals.

“Who the hay are you two, and what are you doing at my crime scene?”

“Your crime scene?” repeated the unicorn, her eyes wide. “Inspector Storm Chaser, I… I can’t believe it! How could you be the thief!?”

“What!?” Storm Chaser gasped. “What are you talking about?”

“You robbed the safe?” Spitfire asked.

“No, I didn’t!” Storm Chaser spat.

“I believe the Inspector was referring to it as his crime scene as in the place he’s investigating,” the yellow pegasus said.

“Ah, yes, that would make much more sense,” nodded the unicorn. “Brilliant deduction!”

“Who exactly are you two?” asked Spitfire.

“Most likely the criminals,” Storm Chaser muttered.

“Now, now, Inspector Storm Chaser,” said the unicorn. “Please don’t hold my error against me. Not when there’s a culprit to catch!”

“Can someone just answer me!?” Spitfire snapped. “Who are you two?”

“Terribly sorry, Madam Spitfire,” the unicorn said. “I am Detective Emerald Loupe, Private Investigator. And this fine pegasus beside me is my apprentice, Voltage Scholar.”

“Aren’t we in Cloudsdale?” Storm Chaser asked.

“We are indeed, Inspector Storm Chaser,” nodded Emerald.

“You’re a unicorn,” Storm Chaser said, after glancing down at the cloud floor beneath their hooves.

“Brilliant deduction, good sir,” said Emerald, her voice full of sincerity.

“No wonder you were promoted to Inspector,” said Voltage, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

Storm Chaser narrowed his eyes at the two, as they trotted into the room. “Hm. Any clues aside from the card on the table?”

“None that we can report,” said one of the guards. “There appears to be no forensic evidence left behind.

“Interesting,” said Emerald. “A sure sign of the Butterfly Bandit.”

“Who is the Butterfly Bandit?” asked Spitfire.

“A crafty thief that I’ve been chasing for ten years,” Emerald replied.

“Not that good of a detective then, are you?” Storm Chaser smirked.

Voltage gritted her teeth. “Boss, did you hear what he just said?”

“I heard him,” said Emerald, looking down. “It’s understandable. After mistaking a beacon of justice like a Royal Guard for a thief, I clearly am unworthy of my title.”

“Don’t say that,” said Voltage, patting her mentor on the back. She looked over at Spitfire. “What exactly did the criminal take?”

“Every single bit and gem in the vault,” said Spitfire. “At last count, there was a total of twenty thousand bits in there.”

“Quite a large sum to be stored in a temporary office,” commented Emerald, her mood suddenly lifted. She peered into the safe, before looking at the card on the table. “You’ve left the evidence where it was, correct, Inspector Storm Chaser?”

“Yeah,” he said. “I’m not dumb.”

“Then why didn’t you report what else the thief snatched away from Madam Spitfire?”

“This Butterfly Bandit took something else?” Spitfire asked.

“Indeed,” mumbled Emerald, her horn glowing as she magical levitated things on the table to look around. “I see, yes… Voltage Scholar, count the tickets, please. Madam Spitfire, how many ponies can fit in the Cloudiseum?”

“It seats a thousand,” Spitfire said. “Why?”

“If you don’t mind me asking,” said Emerald, “how many tickets have been sold so far?”

“Two hundred,” said Spitfire.

“And, as popular as the Wonderbolts are, I’m guessing you have a roll of a thousand tickets here to sell for this weekend’s show?” Emerald asked.

“Yes,” Spitfire said. “Are you saying…?”

Emerald nodded. “Indeed. Best to double check, though. Voltage Scholar, how many is one thousand minus two hundred?”

“Eight hundred,” Voltage said.

“And how many tickets do you count on this role?”

“Seven hundred and ninety eight,” replied Voltage. “The Butterfly Bandit stole two tickets to the Wonderbolts show.”

“The Bandit did what!?” Spitfire snapped. “Was twenty thousand bits not enough, she had to get free tickets as well!?”

“Well, what do you expect from a thief,” Storm muttered. “How did you know, though, Detective? Are you in on it?”

“Of course not!” Emerald gasped. “I live for justice, after all! It’s the Butterfly Bandit’s modus operandi. She always leaves her calling card in place of what she stole. So, why not leave the card in the safe? Why put it on the table. Deductive reasoning would conclude she took something off the table, in this case the two tickets.”

“Hmph,” Storm snorted, before turning towards Spitfire. “Do you have a record of all ponies that bought tickets to the show?”

“Unfortunately, no,” said Spitfire. “I didn’t sell them myself, and even if I did, I don’t think I could remember two hundred different faces.”

“And of course, some may have bought the tickets as a gift,” said Emerald.

“Do you seriously expect a thief to give the tickets away?” Storm laughed.

“Well, she did take two of them,” Voltage muttered.

“Happy Birthday, Rainbow Dash!” Fluttershy smiled, passing her an envelope. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were joined in the library by Pinkie, Twilight, Applejack, Rarity and Spike. Pinkie had the place decorated with streamers and balloons

“Another one of your homemade birthday cards?” Pinkie asked. “I always like those.”

Rainbow tore the envelope it, and two slips of paper fell out. “Fluttershy? Are these what I think they are?”

“Oh my,” said Rarity. “Fluttershy, however did you afford-”

“Two tickets to this weekend’s Wonderbolts show!” Rainbow interrupted, happily taking flight. “Thank you so much, Fluttershy!” She swooped down, pulling the sky pegasus into a tight hug.

“I-It was nothing,” Fluttershy stuttered. “D-Dashie… I can’t breathe…”

“Sorry,” said Rainbow, letting her go. “This is just so awesome!”

“That must've cost ya a wing an' a leg,” said Applejack.

“I was thinking of getting a ticket for Rainbow, too,” said Spike. “But they’re like 100 bits a piece or something.”

“Really?” Rainbow asked in surprise. “Fluttershy, you didn’t have to spend 200 bits on me. Don’t I still owe you money, myself?”

“You don’t need to pay me back,” said Fluttershy. “Besides, I was happy to get those for you.”

“But-” Rainbow began.

“Oh, just accept her gift, Rainbow,” said Twilight. “She went through all the trouble, after all.”

“Alright,” said Rainbow, gazing sternly at Fluttershy. “But this second ticket is yours, okay? I won’t feel right otherwise.”

“Are you sure?” Fluttershy asked, as Rainbow shoved one of the tickets back at her. “What about Twilight? She might want to go, too.”

“I’d love to,” said Twilight, “but I have a lot of royal duties to handle this weekend. I had no idea the crime rate in Equestria was so high until I actually got all the paper work about it.”

“Well, if you’re sure,” said Fluttershy, “then, I’d love to go with you, Rainbow.” Yes, yes, yes! This could be your big chance, Fluttershy! A weekend outing alone with Rainbow!

“Had no idea you’d be this happy, Flutters,” said Rainbow.

“Huh?” Fluttershy asked, snapping out of her thoughts. “Did I say what I was thinking out loud?”

“No, you just sort of giggled to yourself,” said Spike.

“Why?” Applejack asked. “What were ya thinkin' about?”

“N-nothing,” Fluttershy mumbled, ducking behind her mane.

“Well now that that’s sorted out,” said Pinkie, “let’s get on to the cake!”

“Yes!” Fluttershy quickly agreed. “Cake sounds great!”

Rainbow tilted her head in confusion, staring at Fluttershy. Deciding she’d ask her later, Rainbow shrugged it off and followed her and Pinkie over to the snack table.

Pinkie happily lifted the knife in her mouth, when a knock on the door interrupted them.

“Who could that be?” Twilight asked.

“Police,” a voice replied from outside. “Open up.”

Fluttershy’s eyes widened and her pulse quickened. “P-police…?”

“What could they want?” Twilight asked, confusion across her face. Not noticing Fluttershy’s sudden hyperventilation, Twilight crossed the room to open the door.

Standing on the other side of the door was a grumpy looking white pegasus, decked out in armor that Twilight recognized as belonging to an elite Royal Guard. Twilight stepped back in surprise from his glare, feeling her voice get caught in her throat. “C-can I…?”

Without a word, the pegasus butted his way into the library. Following behind was an oddly dressed green unicorn and a yellow pegasus, ladened with saddle bags.

“Inspector Storm Chaser, that was surprisingly rude,” said the unicorn. “If I were you, I would apologize for crashing what appears to be some form of celebration.”

“It’s a birthday party!” smiled Pinkie.

“It’s also the day of a rather serious theft,” said Storm. “So, forgive me if I show no tact.”

“That’s not very nice of you, Inspector Storm Chaser,” said the unicorn.

“Would you stop calling me by my full name and title!?” Storm snapped.

“Speaking of which,” said the yellow pegasus, “I’m certain the Princess and her friends would like to know our names, boss.”

“Of course!” the unicorn gasped, bowing to the six ponies. “Forgive me for my rudeness, noble ponies. And after I chastised Inspector Storm Chaser for his rude behavior, too!”

“Uh…” said Twilight. “It’s okay…?”

“Yeah, cheer up, miss!” said Pinkie.

“Quite right!” said the unicorn, hopping back up, a big smile suddenly on her face. “It wouldn’t be right to be sad at a party, would it? I am Detective Emerald Loupe, Private Investigator. And this fine pegasus beside me is my apprentice, Voltage Scholar.”

“How do you do,” said Voltage.

“Well, what brings a detective and Royal Guard Inspector here?” Rarity asked.

“I don’t recall inviting you to my birthday,” Rainbow muttered.

“We’re investigating a theft,” said Emerald. “Have any of you heard of a thief know as The But-”

“Hey!” Storm interrupted. “You can’t just talk about the case in front of anypony! We’re only here to report it to the Princess!”

“It’s fine, Inspector Storm Chaser,” said Twilight. “If it's important, I’d just tell them myself, anyway.”

“Besides,” said Applejack, “given that the six of us have saved Equestria before, I’d say we earned it.”

“National heroes do have a bit more pull than you, Inspector Storm Chaser,” said Voltage.

Storm sat down, burying his face in his hooves. “Ugh… Whatever. Tell them.”

“Where was I?” Emerald asked. “Oh, yes. –terfly Bandit?”

“I haven’t,” said Pinkie. She was the only one that seemed to understand what Emerald said, however.

“…Come again?” Rarity asked.

“Did you just start in the middle of a word?” Spike asked.

“Perhaps you could start at the beginning?” Voltage suggested.

“Very well,” said Emerald, clearing her throat. “Let's see, you barged in and then I said: "Inspector Storm Chaser, that was surprisingly rude." Then-”

“Not that far back!” Storm snapped.

“You have a very short temper, sir,” Voltage muttered.

“Have any of you heard of The Butterfly Bandit before?” Storm asked, ignoring Voltage’s comment.

“Can’t say I have,” said Applejack.

“I think I might have heard something about her,” said Twilight.

“The Butterfly Bandit!?” Rarity gasped.

“You have?” Twilight asked, surprised.

“You haven’t?” Rainbow asked.

“Rainbow Dash, you’ve heard of the Bandit, too?” Rarity asked.

“Her first crime was in Cloudsdale, after all,” said Rainbow. “It happened just before Fluttershy and I moved to Ponyville.”

“Hm?” Emerald hummed, glancing over at Fluttershy.

Fluttershy shrank back from Emerald’s gaze. Rainbow stepped between them, staring Emerald in the eye. “What is it?”

“Nothing,” said Emerald. “I just realized I never got any of your names.”

Rainbow narrowed her eyes suspiciously, before stepping to the side so Emerald could see Fluttershy.

“I-I’m Fluttershy,” Fluttershy stuttered.

“I’m Rainbow Dash. And that’s Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Spike, and T-”

“We all know who Princess Twilight is,” Storm interrupted. “Just cut the pointless chatter and talk about the damn Bandit.”

“Quite right,” said Emerald. “Madam Rarity, you said you’ve heard of the Butterfly Bandit?”

“Madam?” Rarity repeated. “What do you mean by ‘Madam’?”

Applejack rolled her eyes, and nudged Rarity in the side.

“Ahh!” Rarity gasped. “Never mind. Um, yes, I read it in the papers. Something about a jewelry store in Canterlot being robbed, I think? They gave a picture and it looked like a butterfly, but it was kind of blurry.”

“Ah, yes,” said Emerald, looking up at the ceiling. “I remember the Canterlot Jeweler Heist…” Emerald trailed off, and continued staring at the ceiling, a faraway look in her eyes.

“She’ll be like that for awhile,” said Voltage. “But, yes, that case was the only time we got any unintentional evidence from the Butterfly Bandit.”

“Unintentional evidence?” Spike asked.

“The photo,” said Voltage. “It’s the only photo of the Bandit that exists.”

“But what do you mean by unintentional evidence?” Twilight asked.

“Apparently The Butterfly Bandit always leaves a calling card,” said Storm. “We can’t show you what it looks like, though. Not even you, Princess.”

“I understand,” said Twilight.

“So, I’m guessing the Bandit made another robbery?” Pinkie asked. “Or did you just want a piece of cake?”

“Yes, there’s been a theft,” said Voltage. “Cloudsdale Cloudiseum is currently playing host to the Wonderbolts for a show they’re putting on this weekend.”

“Last night,” said Storm, “the Butterfly Bandit broke into the Director’s office and made off with twenty thousand bits.”

“What!?” Rainbow gasped. “This thief stole from the Wonderbolts!?”

“It’s particularly surprising since the Bandit has been inactive for the past three years,” said Voltage.

“No wonder I haven’t heard about these thefts,” said Twilight.

“I-is the Wonderbolt show still going to happen?” Fluttershy asked.

“Probably not,” said Spike. “Sorry, Rainbow.”

“No need to apologize to her,” said Voltage. “The show will proceed as planned.”

“Really?” Rainbow asked, excited.

“Even after the theft?” Rarity asked.

“Yes,” said Storm. “No more questions. Let’s go, Detective.”

“Huh?” said Emerald, snapping out of her thoughts. “Oh, yes. Good evening to you, Princess Twilight Sparkle, Madam Rarity, Madam Rainbow Dash, Madam-”

“Can it and let’s get moving!” Storm interrupted, spreading his wings and pushing the two detectives out the door.

“Good night to all of you!” Emerald quickly shouted, before Storm slammed the door behind them.

“Well then,” said Spike. “That was… odd.”

“Sorry about that, everypony,” said Twilight. "Royal Guard Inspectors sometimes come debrief me about big crimes like that now."

“It’s no big deal,” said Pinkie.

“Hope they catch that thief,” said Rainbow. “Stealing from the Wonderbolts. How low can you go? Am I right, Fluttershy?”

“Huh?” Fluttershy asked. She looked down sadly. “Oh, yes. Very low…”

“Aw, don’t be sad, Flutters!” Pinkie smiled. “Have some cake!”

“Thank you, Pinkie,” Fluttershy mumbled, as Pinkie shoved a slice of cake at her.

Rainbow stared after Fluttershy as the shy pegasus trotted across the room to sit and eat in the corner. What’s wrong with Fluttershy today? she thought, her mind working overtime in an attempt to figure her friend out.

“Rainbow?” Pinkie asked, snapping Dash out of her thoughts.

“Huh?” Rainbow asked.

“Aren’t you going to eat some cake?” Pinkie asked.

“Oh, uh, yeah,” said Rainbow, forcing a smile, and grabbing the slice of cake Pinkie was offering. “Thanks, Pinkie.”

“That was a complete waste of time,” Storm complained, sitting in his office. “Why’d you make me tell them? Wasn’t forcing yourselves into the joint investigation enough?”

“I thought it would be a courteous thing to do,” said Emerald. She and Voltage Scholar were sitting across from Storm.

“Well, be nice on your own time,” muttered Storm. “I have a job to do.”

“As do we,” said Voltage. “Doesn’t mean we should shelve kindness, does it?”

“Besides,” said Emerald, “I’d say it was enlightening.”

“What the hay are you talking about?” Storm asked. “You spent most of the time staring at the ceiling.”

“…I suppose you’re right, Inspector Storm Chaser,” Emerald said. “It’s probably nothing.” But if that pony shows up this weekend, then it may be something worth looking in to.

“Stop calling me by my full name already!” Storm snapped.

Fluttershy was lying in her bed, staring up at her ceiling. Angel Bunny was sitting on the pillow next to her, gazing at her with concern.

“Angel, what do I do?” Fluttershy asked. “Rainbow Dash seemed so angry at the Butterfly Bandit for robbing the Wonderbolts.”

Angel made some noises, seemingly asking a question.

“Oh, she loved the tickets I gave her,” said Fluttershy, a smile on her face. “She seemed so happy!”

Angel made some more sounds, before curling up next to Fluttershy to sleep.

“You’re right, Angel,” Fluttershy smiled. “She was probably just overreacting. It’s not like I hurt the Wonderbolts or anything. Besides, as long as she’s happy with me, who cares what she thinks of the Bandit?”

The only sound Angel made in return was a soft snore as he slept. Taking the hint, Fluttershy curled up under the blankets and fell asleep as well.