BOOM!!!
That was all that I could hear as I crashed through the the window from the laboratory in the Snowspire Mountains, disturbing the otherwise tranquil and silent area. The deafening sound and the force of the explosion disoriented me briefly before I realized what was happening...I was falling to my death. Time seemed to slow down as I stare at the image of the firey remains of the structure get smaller and smaller as I plummet to the earth below, the bitter cold air wrapping around me like an unwanted blanket. A thousand thoughts raced through my mind, desperately looking for something to catch onto. However, my magic was depleted, and I was falling in the worst possible place...the crevice. There was nothing I could grab onto, no way for me to propell myself to the other end of the mountains. It was then that I closed my eyes as I accepted the daunting reality... nothing can save me now. Death would finally find me this day, after searching for me for so long. All things considered, death will probably be the kindest deed that the cruel hand of fate has thrown my way. That's not to say that I don't have any regrets, or unfinished business. it's quite the opposite in fact.
There were so many things I wanted to do, so many words I wanted to speak. Yet despite the regrets that were swirling in my mind, I couldn't help but think back on to the one pony who gave me some semblance of peace and happiness, knowing that my end was only moments away.
Pinkie Pie...the love of my life. Even now, I could only think of that smile she always has when she greeted even complete strangers. Even with the cold winds chilling me to the bone, it warmed my very heart as I remembered the first time I saw it. It was enough to melt the hearts of even the hardest of ponies. It wasn't just her smile and beauty that captivated me, it was her outlook on life, her desire to make everypony smile and be happy, her seemingly inexhaustible energy, her laughter, her love for sweets...what wasn't there to love about her? Yet like so many good things throughout the course of my life, it was torn away from me, though this time I could honestly say that it wasn't by my hand, at least, not entirely. The funny thing was that only when I finally found a reason to keep going, to keep living is when this crap happened to me...even I had to laugh at that cruel irony.
My laughter was short lived as a loud, sickening thud echoed throughout the the valley as my fall came to an end. I felt my bones snap and shatter, my organs bursting like water balloons and saw my blood splatter everywhere, painting the ground below with the crimson liquid as my body met solid earth. By Celestia, the pain was far beyond anything I've ever felt before, and I was still conscious to feel every ounce of the excruciating pain. My armor offered little protection against a fall of that magnitude. If anything, it made it all the worse.
Even now, I draw shallow, wheezing breaths, as my body struggles to live on, despite my mortal injuries. Yet here I was thinking back on the irony of it all. Princesses Celestia and Luna wanted me dead for committing crimes that I have no recollection of committing, but they saw fit to send me here with the promise of amnesty if I ensured the safety of the Elements of Harmony. I was imprisoned, and I was scheduled to be executed within a few days, so it wasn't like I was in a position to disobey them. Thankfully the elements are safe now, I was at least able to see to that before this happened. I guess, in the end, the Princesses' sentence was carried out after all.
With my last, painful breaths, my final thoughts drift back to Pinkie and what she meant to me. I laid there wishing I could hold her for one last time, to feel her comforting embrace after making love to her. Then finally, I breathe no more. The cold embrace of darkness surrounds me as my life comes to an end.
I didn't know how it was possible, but it felt like I could move, and I didn't feel the pain anymore. Taking a chance, I slowly open my eyes to see that I was in a cold and vast darkness. Moments later, I could see a dim light in the distance was allowed me to see that I was in an astral plane of some kind. There was only vast darkness, nothing else. No smell, no feeling, and aside from my armor clanking against the 'ground' there was only deafening silence. However, when I turned to look at the distant light, I could feel it calling to me, almost pulling me to come to it. Seeing no other options, I make my way towards the warm, inviting light, each step I took echoed throughout the infinite darkness.
I followed the light like a moth to a flame, focusing only on that sensation, that desire to go to it.
"Severin..." a voice called out. I stopped dead in my tracks when I recgonized the all too familiar sound of her voice, fear and dread clutching my chest.
"Pinkie?!" I call out, my voice full of worry. By Luna's mane please don't be here...
"Oh, Severin..." she called out again, but this time I noticed that her voice sounded distraught. From what it sounded like, it was coming from the light. Upon realizing this, I ran as fast as I could, hoping and praying that she didn't suffer the same fate I did. I could see the light getting bigger, brighter and warmer, and from the sound of it, I was getting close.
I kept up my feverish pace, my fear and anxiety reaching new heights as her voice became clearer and louder.
I finally made it to the light, its comforting warmth embracing me, and relieving me from the bitter cold of the darkness I came from. I tentatively reached my hand out to the light, not knowing what to expect. To my surprise, my arm went through it as if it was a portal of some kind. I take a deep breath, and brace myself for the unknown as I stepped through the light.
"Pinkie? Where are you?" I called out, but my only response is deafening silence. Before I could do anything else, the empty space around me starts to shift, forming a landscape that looked to be a crossroads of sorts. What caught my eye, however, was a massive mirror, the size of Town Hall, with a gold and silver frame in the middle of the separate paths. Curious, I step to the ornate mirror, briefly admiring its beauty before reaching out my hand to touch it. I stopped short when I saw an image of Pinkie Pie appear in it, but her normally poofy hair and tail was now straight and flat. I was confused at first, but I listened on regardless
From the looks of it, she was on her guest bed at Canterlot castle, crying her eyes out as she cuddled with a large Teddy bear that I won for her at that carnival so long ago. It tore me to pieces seeing her so broken and distraught, making me wish I could comfort her in some way so that I could see that smile of hers. However, through her hitching sobs, I heard her mutter something I couldn't quite pick up, so I listened closer.
"Sevy...I'm so sorry, Sevy!" She repeated this over and over again.
The nickname she gave me...She called me that when we first got acquainted with one another, and she had been calling me that ever since. Seeing this made me realize what was going on, I was being allowed to see her one last time. I mourned that this was goodbye and that I wouldn't be able to hold her one last time, but I was grateful nonetheless. I ran my had along her image, as if I was stroking her mane to comfort her. It reminded me of our first time together. I was stroking her mane just this while we were cuddling with one another. My thoughts were cut short after I heard a knock on her door, but Pinkie didn't bother getting up to answer it.
"Pinkie...It's us...can we come in?" A raspy voice called through the other side of that door. I recognized it to be Rainbow Dash's, but it sounded as if her voice was strained and worn raw. But Pinkie still didn't respond. She just laid there sobbing, until the door opened, revealing her five friends Twilight, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Applejack, all of whom looked to shedding their own tears.
Rainbow walked up to the bed and cradled her, rocking back and forth to comfort her.
"Pinkie...I'm so sorry about Severin..." She said as fresh tears ran down her face.
"He promised...he promised he'd make it back, Dashie.." she said as she buried her head into her shoulder. I couldn't help but feel guilty about making her hurt like this. I wanted nothing more than to take that pain away from her...but I can't, and it was killing me inside.
"He's in a better place now, Pinkie," Twilight spoke up, "He wouldn't want you to hurt like this."
"WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW, TWILIGHT?!" Pinkie snapped with uncharacteristic rage, making me and everyone else flinch, "EVERY ONE OF YOU EXCEPT FOR DASHIE AND FLUTTERSHY WAS REAL MEAN WITH HIM!!!" She screamed as she got off the bed and stepped towards them, pointing an accusing finger at Twilight, "AND YOU WERE THE WORST ONE!!! ALL OF THOSE LESSONS ON FRIENDSHIP YOU LEARNED MEAN NOTHING IF YOU DON'T USE THEM ON THOSE WHO NEED IT!!! AND WHEN HE NEEDED IT THE MOST, YOU TURNED YOUR BACK ON HIM!!!" Pinkie was shaking hard from the amount of anger that was seething within her, and Twilight looked like she was taken aback by her rant and began to shed silent tears. Granted, she was cautious around me but she wasn't cruel. She never intended to let things happen the way they did for me. I know because just days ago she confided in me about it. I couldn't bear seeing Pinkie come down on her like this. It was unfair for her. I could see that the accusation cut Twilight deeply. She was so shocked that she couldn't form any coherent words for her defense.
"P...Pinkie...I...I didn't"
"Save it! Get out! All of you GET OUT!!! And you can tell your precious mentor that I said the I hope she's happy now that her and Princess Luna's sentence was carried out! I guess that there's now 'one less threat' to their kingdom!" said Pinkie in a very hostile tone. Even I though that was harsh of her
Twilight ran off in tears, utterly hurt by Pinkie's harsh words. The others, except for Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, slowly left the room as well, and when the door closed, she fell to her knees and started sobbing again. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy wrapped her in another embrace as the shed their tears together.
"Pinkie Pie...I'm sorry for this. I'm sorry for everything," I say despite knowing that she couldn't hear me, "I didn't want cause a rift between you and your friends..."
Suddenly the image in the mirror faded, being replaced by a blinding light. I immediately shield my eyes, when I was sure it was safe to see again, I brought down my hands to see an alabaster mare donning a brilliant white robe, with a golden sash across it holding a scale. Her hair was golden like the sun and her eyes as blue as the vast ocean. She had a gentle and comforting smile on her face, one that would comfort even the most scared of ponies. Just as I was admiring her ethereal beauty, I saw that the mirror turned to a pitch black substance. It was then that I saw a skeletal hand emerge from it, and saw that this being was clad in a black, hooded cloak that seemed to be made of shadow, wielding a Death Scythe. His eyes were glowing red with malice and his body seemed to be nothing but a skeleton with old, cracked bones. I could feel the dread, malice and despair practically ooze from his very being.
"We've been expecting you, Severin." The mare said in comforting tone, "I am Alya, and this is my esteemed associate, Samael. You have been brought before us to be judged."
I tremble before the sight, and the weight of her words were bearing down on me as I begin to grasp the gravity of the situation.
"Are you...Are you two the Gatekeepers?" I ask, feeling the apprehension welling within the very core of my being. My question was answered with a soft nod from Alya,
"Yes, we are. Your actions in life will be what determines where you will reside for the rest of eternity. You are indeed a difficult one to judge, Severin. Normally, it is quite easy to determine how a pony is judged. Most are either quite deserving to be at peace in Elysium, or..."
"They deserve to writhe in the fires of Tartarus...heir of Sombra." said Samael in a deep, distorted voice. I sneered at the very mention of my heritage,
"Don't call me that!" I snap.
"You forget who you're talking to, foolish mortal," Samael said, charging forward and slamming the pole end of his scythe in my solar plexus with otherworldly speed and power. I flew back several feet, and curled in a ball as I gasped for air, "I could snuff out your pathetic existence with a snap of my finger if I wanted to."
"Enough, Samael," Alya said, "Remember why we're here." said Alya as she walked over and helped me to my hooves.
"I've been waiting for this one for some time now, Alya...he has much to answer for. I can almost taste his soul. Well...part of it anyways."
"We shall see soon enough," she turned her gaze towards me, "come forth, Severin." I comply hesitantly and stand before them, "look into the mirror, and watch as your life is played before you."
As I stare into the mirror, I see an image of myself as a colt, no more than five years old waiting in line to get some food in the Canterlot orphanage. It was frightening to an extent as I saw the younger version of myself before me. I'd recognize that dark gray fur, the jet black mane and tail and those amber eyes anywhere.
I could still smell the mildew within the poorly built structure, but it was far better to smell that than the stench of the kitchens at work. The newer kids always gagged from the unpleasant odor that permeated from our food, but it was all we had to eat. The line was long and the food was barely edible slop, but it was far better than starving. When I get my portion, I see myself go to my usual seat, which was as far away from everyone else as possible, and started eating. I shook my head as I saw this, because even then, I made an effort to stay away from others.
I was minding my own business like I always did, eating slowly and keeping an eye out in case anyone tried to start trouble with me like they always did. I didn't have to wait long before I could hear some hoofsteps approaching. I look up to see three boys coming my way. I recognize them as Dumbbell, Hoops and End Zone, a bunch of bullies who loved to terrorize smaller colts. I let out an annoyed huff, preparing myself for another one their endless teasing bouts. After all, it had been at least a week since they messed with me and it was my turn again. However, to my surprise, they didn't even look at me, going to the table just ahead of me. I blinked a few times, wondering who was the unlucky pony to get picked on was.
"Hey guys, look who it is! It's the freak with red eyes!" Dumbbell said in a mocking tone, "whatcha doin, freak?" I looked to see them surrounding the new filly apparently. She had blue hair with cyan streaks running through it, and she did indeed have red eyes. I found them to be pretty cool, but I could tell that they were hurting her feelings because I could see tears brimming her eyes.
"I'm not a freak! Leave me alone!" She lashed out.
"Hey, Dumbbell, I think she's gonna cry!" End Zone laughed, "cry baby fre-ak, cry baby fre-ak!" He sang mockingly
"I-I told you...I...I'm n-not a...f-freak!" The girl said as tears started to flow from her face. I could feel anger begin to well in the pit of my stomach as they relentlessly continued their onslaught on the defensless filly. It was one thing for them to pick on me, another colt, but for them to do that to a filly? Even I found that to be in bad taste. I mean, what did this filly do to them?
Before she could react, Hoops took her lunch tray from her and poured her food all over her, embarrassing her further.
"That look suits you a lot better freak!" He said. He then hit her over the head with it, causing the filly to yelp and to fall on the ground, blood trickling from her injury. That set me off big time. I got off my seat and I ran to Hoops as fast as I could and punched him in the face so hard that I could feel his muzzle crack from the impact.
His eyes rollers the back of his head and he went down hard. I was surprised I even hit him that hard, but he curled up clutching his muzzle and started crying like a little sissy colt. How unlike the tough exterior he always tried to show. I quickly turned to face the other two and put up my fists, ready to fight despite the fact the odds were against me,
"Leave her alone!" I yell, as I put up my bravest face, despite the fact that I was trembling with my own anger. They only stared at me with complete shock for a moment as they saw what I did to Hoops. End Zone ran away and Dumbbell helped Hoops to his hooves.
"W-We'll get you b-back for this! You can count on that, runt!" Hoops threatened as he ran off leaving a blood trail from his broken nose. I turn to the filly who looked at me wide eyed and offered my hand to her. She accepted it and I helped her to her seat.
"Are you okay?" I asked as I put a napkin on her head to stop the bleeding.
"I...I think so." She sobbed. "T...thank you for helping me."
"You’re welcome. I can't stand those jerks. They shouldn't be hitting fillies like that," I replied. I extended my hand in greeting, "I'm Severin. What's your name?"
"I'm Vinyl. Vinyl Scratch." She answered as she shook my hand.
"Nice to meet you, Vinyl. Would you like to come to my seat? I still have a lot of food left and we can share it if you’d like. You know...since they pretty much ruined your lunch.” I ask as I help clean her off. She looked at me with grateful eyes at my offer.
“I’d like that, thank you!” With that, we walked to my table and mostly talked. I could tell she was hungry because she ate most of my portion, but I didn’t mind. Even after we finished eating we were just talking about what we wanted to do when we grew up, and as it turned out, she already got her Cutie Mark for music of some kind. It looked so cool...like an eighth note on her shoulder blade.
I was surprised on how well we were getting along already, and for the first time ever, I had a genuine smile on my face. I knew that, so long as Vinyl was here, I wouldn't be alone anymore.
Author's Note
Okay, I need an editor, lol. Thanks for reading!
I took a deep breath as the image before me faded to black, once again showing my reflection. It pained me to admit, but seeing Vinyl and I as foals again brought a tear to my, if only because it was the very first time I felt the warmth of goodwill and genuine gratitude. A small, delicate ember that my deadening soul and lonesome heart had sought out all of this time, igniting something within me that I haven’t felt before. Hope. I may have helped her that day, but in reality, it was she who saved me. A fact that I failed to acknowledge at the time.
“Hmph. You seem to be thinking that you’ve done a good deed, Severin.” Samael’s deep and terrible voice echoed, sending a chill down my spine.
“Was it not?!” I responded curtly, and with a balled fist, despite knowing there was nothing I could do against him. My sternum ached, remembering all too well what happened not moments before the viewing, as if to remind me what I was dealing with here, “She was being attacked for Luna’s sake! I jumped in to defend her!”
Samael let out a mocking and demoralizing laugh, as if I just missed something that was supposed to be painfully obvious, “Was it truly for her sake that you fought them? Or was it for your own satisfaction? I saw something burning within your eyes as you charged at them.”
“He was angry, Samael,” Alya countered, “There is such a thing as righteous anger, which should hold no bearing against him, as I truly believe is the case here.”
“Normally, that is true,” he responded. He held out his old, cracked, skeletal hand towards the mirror, “But look closer, and tell me if you still believe in that.”
The mirror formed the image, once again showing the three bullies surrounding Vinyl and taunting her, while simultaneously showed me, and the expressions I showed as her undeserved torment befell her. At first, I was shown to be indifferent about it, until I saw her eyes were welling with tears. My eyes narrowed as my face formed my all too familiar frown when that happened. However, when I saw them dump her food on her, my eyes widened in shock, not expecting them to take their torment that far. When Hoops finally hit her, my pupils constricted, my nostrils flared, and I let out an unnatural hiss as I charged at the assailants. That's when Samael stopped the image.
"As you can see, this isn't righteous anger we're looking at. This is pure, unadulterated hatred seething within him." Samael pointed out with absolute certainty. There wasn't even a hint of doubt to be found as he delivered that bold statement. Even though I couldn't see his face, I could feel him smirking victoriously, almost mockingly at me.
His unholy crimson eyes bored into my very soul, almost reading my thoughts as any counter I had to give withered away from my mind, being replaced if the ugly, cold sting of guilt. After all...he was absolutely right. Even Alya had nothing to offer in my defense. If even she couldn't find anything to defend me with, then what was I to do?
As if he wanted to add insult to injury, he continued the image, and what I saw shook me to the core. At the moment I broke Hoops' muzzle, the image once again gauged my expression. Upon feeling and hearing the sickening crack from the impact, the corner of my lip curled to a smirk. When he fell to the floor and writhed in agony, I stood over him for a moment. My eyes lost their spark, becoming nothing more than a mirrorless sheen of what they once were, and a pleased, yet menacing ear-to-ear grin had spread across my face the more he cried and rolled around like a hapless animal.
Then it showed me turn to the others and lifted my hands in a defensive manner to the other two bullies, then the image stopped once again, "You took a twisted pleasure in watching that colt writhe in agony by your hand!"
"No...I-I didn't...!" I argued weakly
"Oh?! Need I keep going then?!" He roared, "Has it ever occurred to you why the other two ran away from you in fear?! Do you honestly think it was simply because you had knocked out Hoops so quickly?! LOOK AGAIN!"
The image continued once more, but this time, it only showed me. It only showed how my menacing smile widened, and my pupils once again constricted. The most terrifying part, however, wasn't my smile or my pupils. It was how my eyes seem to have been disconnected from reality, how the longer they looked into them, the more they realized that I wanted nothing more than to hurt them in the worst of ways, like they've done to me, and others for so long. It was the fact that I had finally snapped, and Tartarus was coming with me.
Then it became clear to me. The reason I was trembling wasn't because I was scared or nervous, but rather because I was enjoying the anticipation of the coming bloodshed at that point. Then my warning came to leave her alone. It took then a moment to react because they were too afraid of what they saw within me to make any sudden moves.
"What say you now? Do you still deny that you took pleasure in your actions?"
"...No. I don't." I respond, "I enjoyed every minute of it. However, you too, are missing something, Samael."
"Choose your next words very carefully. They bear more weight here than you realize."
"No, Severin is right. I was hoping he could see what I've known from the start, and he did." Alya intervened, "While what you say is true, that he did enjoy putting those three in their places, I can also see that it wasn't the act of violence itself that motivated or pleased him. It was the fact that he finally stood up to his tormentors, and emerged victorious. Surely there is no fault for self defense."
"Self defense?!" Samael scoffed, "He was not the one being attacked! His friend was! If you're implying that getting involved in an affair that didn't concern him will somehow absolve what was welling within his heart, then you're sorely mistaken!"
"Am I?" Alya challenged, "While I agree that Severin wasn't the one they targeted, he was also the one who protected a defenseless filly, who desperately needed it at the time. Not just her, but *all* of the young foals were in desperate need of a champion, and he took up that mantle."
"Preposterous!" Samael roared, "There will always be need for a champion for any cause their simple minds can think of! Mortals always justify their actions, no matter how extreme under the guise of justice', 'honor', and other ideals that will ultimately mean nothing in the very end! In the end, 'evil', is nothing more than a point of view!"
"Yet here you are deeming Severin's actions as such!" Alya countered, "If you truly believed that, then you wouldn't be trying so hard to condemn him!"
"He is an exception! That wayward soul is dangerous! If he were to have a little 'blackout' like before, he could throw everything to chaos!"
"And caging him in Tartarus would be so much better?! That would only guarantee his and our downfall! If the way you guarded Tirek is any indication, then I fear the day Severin would escape!"
"Coddling him would prove just as disastrous! He needs to be held accountable for his actions, just like all the others before him!"
"His actions, Samael? Or someone else's?"
Samael chuckles, "I'm afraid that argument won't benefit you as much as you think it will. You shall soon see. The both of you will." He once again makes a strange motion with his deathly hand, causing the mirror to ripple, "For now, I shall hold my tongue. At least until I take Severin in."
My eyes remain on the mirror. Although I remain motionless, I can't help but notice my heart palpitating as I fell a wave of fear and dread welling within my chest, leaving me utterly breathless. A strange concept that. I'm dead, yet I can still draw breath in this otherwordly plane, and still feel the beat of my heart, however faint it was only moments ago. Before I could think further on the matter, the mirror formed into another scene of my life, and I was taken aback from what was revealed to me. "No...not this. Anything but this..."
Samael cackled, seemingly taking delight from my dismay, and simply said, "Watch on."
I had long since buried this memory as best as I could, so that I could forget the hell that it wrought upon my frail mind and body. It was the beginning of a downward spiral that I desperately tried to get out of, but failed so miserably at. It was the first time I saw how cruel the world could truly be to helpless and vulnerable foals.
"Severin..." Alya called, "...are those...?"
"...My foster parents..."
Author's Note
I deepest apologies for taking so long to update this story. I'm just getting back in the groove for writing, and hopefully I can keep it up. If there are any errors i missed, please point them out to me and I will correct them as soon as possible. Thank you so much for reading!
