The Eclectic Adventures of Pinkie Pie and the Walls of Fiction

11:47 P.M. 1/5/12
The bat lair.

"Holy banana fetus, batman!!!" exclaimed a young boy with red spandex and a yellow cape going by the name of Robin. "I caught dinner!"

"Yes…" Batman assured, eyeballing the dead skunk in Robin’s hand.

The bat cave was as cold as a winter night after a Nor’easter. The two men were in that cave for days, playing Skyrim and eating Cheetos because Robin got the Mansion foreclosed by telling the cops it was infested with ghosts. They had a green plumber try and pacify it, but instead he fell and broke his spine, and the building was deemed condemned.
The two men lived in this cave now and were wearing the same clothes as yesterday. They both had beards and looked like hobos. Robin was shivering and his teeth were chattering. This annoyed batman very much, especially since the sound reverberated in the cave. The echoed noise broke batman's last nerve.

"I don’t need you kid, LEAVE!" Batman exclaimed. His voice boomed in Robin's ears, shocking him. Robin was taken aback by Batman's sudden anger.

"Fine!" Robin shot back without thought. "I'll make my own DREAM TEAM! It will consist of a bunch of reject heroes I'll find off the street! I'll call them the Teen Titans II! We'll put you into commission, old man!"

A deafening silence smothered the cave after that was said. Batman had a face, contorted with anger and fear of what he was going to do to Robin. Snot froze onto his nose due to the cold weather. Wind blew in through the cracks that felt like knives stabbing though once warm skin. The temperature only made Batman angrier.

Robin then realized he was royally screwed. So, he grew the enormous balls needed to slowly walk up to batman, angry as he was, slap him in the face with his cape, then he when the extra mile and walked over to the fridge and opened it. The coldness has doubled. Batman's face no longer looked like a face. It was so twisted with rage, that it looked more like an anus. Bat man's blood boiled to the point where he was no longer cold. The atmosphere of the room was thick. Robin was legally screwed.

Just to make matters worse for Batman, Robin had a case of the dumb, and could not brain. He walked aimlessly around the room until he finally laid eyes on the bat mobile, the only thing Batman had left since Robin pawned all his shit to the Mario Bros. for candy.

"Don't you dare." Batman said with a tone that would make the gods piss sea salt.

Two seconds after that was said, Robin kicked open the window, attempting the get in the car and make a smooth escape, but batman had already got up to wreck his shit.
The fear that Robin would lose his life gave him the max Adrenaline to run at 0.7 mach speed out of the bat cave, leaving a trail of tears behind him.
Robin had made it to the street when he yelled his magic words: "YOU'LL SEE!!!! A DREAM TEAM!!!! A DREAM TEAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

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This was the beginning of the Team Batman vs. Team Robin showdown. This story is too epic to be told by one person. I'm Haruhi Suzumiya. I'm going to be narrating this story from the heavens behind the 4th and 5th walls. I'll be assisted by Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael, and Michelangelo. A.K.A. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Right now, they are having a conference with Zeus, the top dog up here in the 5th wall. Apparently Michelangelo ticked him off. They'll be back to help me narrate shortly. Till then, let's take a look at our 'mane' character. A pink pony from a place called Ponyville named Pinkie Pie.
Right now she's in a bit of a sticky situation:

Pinkie cried her last tear as she put down the candy wrapper.

"THEY'RE ALL GONE!!! NO MORE HERSHEY KISSES FOR PINKIE!!!....Oh, and I guess it's a problem that Rainbow dash is dead."

Pinkie stared at the rainbow-manned pony. Dead. On the floor. She choked on a super sour candy, but Pinkie Pie was too bouncy to notice her plea for air. Pinkie realized that she was standing on Dash's Tail and immediately stepped off.

"Huh...She seemed so full of life then POOF! Now she's dead.....Whelp! See you in the after party, Dashie!"

The scene had taken place at sugar cube corner right behind the counter. The room looked strangely eclectic due to the types of candy that littered the ground. It was as if someone got a large box of empty candy wrappers and dumped it onto the floor in one area by the door, then swept some of it toward the counter where a bigger pile lay.

Using my master detective skills, I can tell that Pinkie and Dash had just won a lifetime supply of candy, and they couldn't wait to eat it, so they ate an insane amount right there at the door where the mess begins.
Then they shuffled their hooves over to the counter. There they ate the rest. I could also tell that the chocolate candy wrappers all belonged to Pinkie and all the fruity flavored candy wrappers belonged to Rainbow Dash.

Everything seemed to go smoothly as the two laughed and ate and bounced about, till Rainbow swallowed a warhead super sour candy the wrong way. The burning sensation must have been as painful as swallowing sharp obsidian doused in salt.
I presume as Rainbow was choking to death, Pinkie was still laughing as she popped the last Hershey kiss into her already sweetened mouth, holding it in her cheeks as she continued to laugh.

On Rainbow's last few seconds of life, Pinkie plunged her hoof into the huge bag of happiness for another Hershey treat. Sadly, there were no more. As Pinkie searched the bag, and with Rainbow Dash long dead, she realized her journey into the bag was futile. No Hershey kisses were left, and there was no air left in Rainbow's lungs. Pinkie realized Rainbow Dash wasn't talking anymore, a little too late. Pinkie saw that Dash was dead, and treated the problem as a fixable one...

Haruhi: Oh, You're back, how did It go with Zeus?

Leo: He's still pretty butt-hurt about the prank we pulled on him.

Haruhi: Seriously? Wow... Well I'm narrating a story.

Raph: The one about the cotton candy colored pony dying?

Haruhi: Yeah. Hey, how's about I change the ending of this story?

Don: Why? I rather like the ending where Pinkie gets executed for murder. It was Unexpected. Quite entertaining.

Haruhi: How's about I change it up a bit and help Pinkie out?

Mich: GNARLY!!!!! You should totally do it! Help the pink one ou...

Pinkie: Huh, who's there? Help me with what?

Haruhi: Well, well...She just broke the 5th wall.

Mich: 5th? I thought there were only 4.

Don: Seriously? Don't you remember?

Mich: What? I don't pay much attention.

Don: *sigh* Basically, there are 5 walls of Fiction Reality. These walls can be known as the fabric of time and space. Between each wall is a certain place in which the wall separates.:

The first wall is known as the psyche wall and separates a character's mind and their surroundings.
The second wall is known as the social wall and separates a character and their surroundings or themselves.
The third wall is known as the crossover wall and separates all fiction from other fiction.
The fourth wall is simply referred to as the fourth wall and is the most known wall that separates fiction from reality with great power.
Then there is the 5th and most impenetrable wall and is known as the quantum wall. We are separated from reality and fiction with this wall. It is the wall that establishes physics and keeps us omnipotent.

Mich:.....huh? Oh cool story, bro.

Don: GET REAL! I just explained what goes on around the universe and beyond!!! You should be impressed.

Haruhi: Donatello, You narrate the story, I'm gonna go down there and inform Pinkie Pie of her powers. Soon she'll be able you use them to finish the other story about Batman and Robin.

Leo: That story hasn't been finished? Well, I guess the mutant ninja horse can fix it.

Raph: I thought it was a pony. Man, this just don't seem right...

Haruhi: ENOUGH. Okay, you guys cover for me. If Zeus finds out, it's 400 centuries in Hades. I'm out...

Leo: Okay, see ya Haruhi!

Raph & Mich: Later!

Don:
As Haruhi plummeted through space-time and through the powerful 5th wall, she experienced a sense of vertigo.
Have you ever had that feeling you were someplace you didn't belong? Imagine that, but approximately.... one thousand times greater. This was the feeling of space and time passing through Haruhi as she neared the ground of the corridor that leads to the 4th wall from the 5th.

The corridor is a beautiful place.

The sky is the color of bright emerald blue as Haruhi stood on a grassy, jagged mountain. Rocks make the edifice of this giant foothold while the mountain stood prominent, towering over a sea that looked like the sky's twin sister. In this fragment of the universe, no sound was audible. Only a dull ringing from the ears trying to comprehend what was going on. Haruhi had come from the sky where it looked like the sun was shining, but there is no sun in the corridor. The light came from nowhere.

Haruhi will have to slowly and safely start her decent from the summit all the way 5 miles down. The ocean was the 4th wall. She looked at the rocks that could support her weight and looked down, estimating how long it would take for her to get down.

"Fuck that." Haruhi concluded, taking a leap of faith into the sky sea. She plummeted all the way down into the water. As soon as she hit the water's surface, space-time delayed. Haruhi was traveling in slow motion, fully aware of what was going on. The water was not a liquid as she hit the sea. No, it was more like a crude solid. It was like a giant water balloon filled with tar hit her in the face, but didn't pop. The solid soon returned to its liquid state, allowing Haruhi to pass through it. Once Haruhi was fully submerged, a quarter of a second later, she was no longer diving through water. She was now being shot upwards.

Basically, as Haruhi entered the 4th wall , via being retarded and pulling an Ezio off a mountain, she flew through the water at a speed the corridor could not follow. She was going down in the corridor, which is going up in the 4th wall.

Haruhi violently flew upwards out of the water, which ended up being a puddle in the other world. Her nose was bleeding violently. The ruby streams puddled onto her white tee shirt and shorts. Surprisingly, Haruhi isn't wet at all after her journey. She stood up out of the puddle and held her nose closed, blood flowing onto her arm.

At least I'm in Ponyville. Haruhi thought.

She had never been to Ponyville, with the hay-topped houses on stone streets, but knows it all the same. She was a god amongst men, or...mares in this case. She walked over to what would be Sugar Cube Corner. She was almost too late. The police stallions were by her door, about to buy doughnuts and to find out about Pinkie's mistake. Haruhi had read the story this way to herself many times. How police brutality wasn't a crime in Ponyville because they barely ever needed police. Haruhi knew what she had to do.

Haruhi pulled out a silenced Glock 18 that she had just conjured up. In sliver letters on the top, it read: PLOT
Very clever, Haruhi.

Haruhi pulled the trigger and held onto it until the pistol finished it's violent seizure and was a few grams lighter. The police stallions were dead. Blood splattered everywhere. Haruhi crushed the pistol in her hands and set the pieces on fire, so as to not leave evidence. She also picked up the two stallions and head-butted them, and they simply disappeared into thin air. Haruhi returned her hand to her nose and held is shut as she used her free hand to open the door to sugar cube corner.

"I DIDN'T DO IT!" Pinkie screamed with eyes closed as soon as Haruhi walked in.

Haruhi walked right past Pinkie ,who was trembling, and began to nurse her hemorrhaging face. She took a seat behind the counter, as if she were totally forgetting what she is there to do. She grabbed the bridge of her nose, snapped it back into place, and got up. She headed toward the kitchen where she knew Pinkie had a sink and washed the blood off her face. Haruhi looked annoyed because she probably knows that we're all laughing our shells off up here. After she was done with her face, she grabbed a towel and went outside to wash away the evidence. On her way back in, she changed the 'OPEN' sign to 'GO AWAY' and locked the door.

"Pinkie, It's okay." Haruhi said in a normal tone. "I want to help you."

Pinkie removed her hooves off her face and looked up in a curious way.

"You look pretty ugly for a pony." Pinkie said blatantly.

"I'm not a pony, I wanna help you."

"My friend is dead."

"I know. I can give you the things you'll need to resurrect her."

"What do I need?"

"Well, you need the 7 dragon balls. You put them together and make a wish"

"Heh heh he....dragon balls"

"Be serious for a second...oh....wait..Did I just tell Pinkie to be serious? Never mind."

"So, can ya give me these *giggle* DRAGON BALLS *pfft* so I can revive Dashie?"

"Well, you have to do me a favor first...."

"Wat"

"You see, I'm a god, and I like to read stories....but there is this one story I cannot finish because it has no end. I was wondering if you can use the elements of harmony to finish it with a happy end."

"OH! Sure, sure, I have the elements. I used them to cosplay as a rapper. MC Pink. Yo yo!....Eh well it was funny at the party, but oh well. How do I finish the story?"

"Okay, I'm gonna send you to Gotham City where..."

"Batmare?!"

"Close...You're going to stop a bloody battle between two good friends who are currently breaking the 3rd wall to find people for an army against each other. Now, I've seen you break the 5th wall...you heard us talking up there didn't you?"

"Oh yeah, that was you? And some turtle called me a mutant?"

"Well yeah, but..."

"I'm not a mutant, silly!"

"I know, you're being difficult, I wanna help you, but you gotta help me. Use your powers of fiction to stop this war. Got it?"

"Can I have a lift to Gotham? I dunno the way."

"Of course."

And with that, the two finally shut up and made moves. Haruhi put two fingers to her head and focused. Hard. Pinkie put her hoof on Haruhi and they teleported to Gotham city.

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