Emmet in Equestria

STOP! Before you read this chapter, I did some huge updates on the last one, and trust me, it's worth a reread.

Chapter 9: A Few Old Favors

Edited by: caliban888

Filthy Rich sat in his favorite chair, thinking on the latest development in his sizable and lucrative business, Rich Barnyard Bargains. He'd heard from a friend that a sizable rival had sprung up in Appleloosa, and it was competing with Rich Barnyard Bargains East.

Filthy Rich shrugged. "Ah, well, I'm sure they won't be a bother. Well, not for long." he said with a devious chuckle. "I can just buy them out anyway. Turn the building into a storage warehouse." As he was bemusing the various things one could do with a storage warehouse, he noticed something odd in the fireplace set into the living room. The ends of one of the logs were starting to burn very brightly, and the room was slowly becoming blinding, and fearing a gas leak, Filthy began to call out to one of the serving mares outside the living room. His voice caught in his throat, however, as the light seemingly solidified, into two glowing yellow spots, hovering into the air. They further materialized, until Filthy was looking into a pair of sickly eyes. The eyes of Discord.

Filthy threw himself backwards, knocking the chair off its legs and launching him back in a heap of hooves. He disentangled himself from himself and ran to the door, only to find it was locked. He looked back at the disembodied eyes of Discord as they stared, quite amused. He fumbled in his suit pocket for the master key, quickly inserting it and throwing the door open. He immediately rushed through...

...and found himself back in the living room, Discord's eyes making it apparent that one of his eyebrows would be raised if he had them.

"Are you done yet?" Discord asked, his voice echoing and muffled as if he was speaking through a mile long cave.

Filthy sighed in resignation, propping up the fallen chair and taking a seat. "What do you want?"

Discord's eyes began to cry fake tears, and a cloth appeared from nowhere and wiped them away. "I'm hurt you say that, Filthy. I'm just here to help an old friend."

"I highly doubt that." Filthy responded, his voice dripping with cynicism. "You say that you're here to help me, then you rope me into some deal I'll come to regret. Every deal we've made went like, that, from meeting Gold Digger when I was lonely to giving us a child when we found out she was barren, and I won't fall for it again. I have a daughter, I have a wife, and I have money. You have nothing I need."

Discord's eyes hovered, clearly amused. "Well, after that riveting monologue, let's cut to the chase, shall we? Diamond Tiara, you're dear old daughter, has just caught a very serious case of tuberculosis. If you get her to the hospital now, she'll be saved. If you're...delayed, however, her lungs will shrivel up like raisins and she will die. Frankly, it could be an improvement, might shut the brat up for once."

Filthy Rich shot up and out of his chair, alarm plastered all across his face, "What! Why didn't you tell me sooner! I have to find her!"

Filthy ran through the door, prepared to hoof it to Diamond Tiara's room. However, instead of a dark hallway, he found himself in a library, a pair of cynical eyes hovering by a fireplace. Something between a growl and a cry for help escaped Filthy's muzzle, and he quickly ran to the other side of the room and bolted through the door again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

After the seventh repetition, Filthy screamed at the floating eyes, grabbing a lamp in his teeth and flailing it at those damnable eyes, staring at him so smugly, so cruelly satisfied in this little game. The lamp just swished through them, however, the eyes now shaking in joyous laughter. Discord's guffaws drove a knife through Filthy's hot ears, which had begun to ring in his rage. Filthy hated Discord, he wished he had never met him on the day he sat alone in the university cafeteria, promising him a mare to meet his every need, only to tell him she could never have a child. He wished he had never thought to make yet another deal, to make yet another stupid decision to go to Discord for help. Filthy's muzzle was soaked with sweat, tears, and saliva as he waved the lampshade uselessly against the endless laughter. Finally, Filthy sat on the ground defeated, sobbing pitifully to himself, consumed with worry for his daughter. And now, he knew, he would have to make another deal.

Discord's gleeful laughter slowly faded away into giggles. "So, are you ready for the deal?"

Filthy just moaned in response.

"Brilliant! Now there's a new resident in town, nearly hairless, carries a metal stick wherever he goes, can't miss him, I need you to convince him to like you."

Filthy looked up from his despondent cries, gazing up at Discord with defeated eyes. "What's the catch?"

"Oh, no catch." Filthy managed to raise an eyebrow. "No, really, you just need to get him to be friends with you. I'll handle the rest."

Discord leaned in closer. "However, I wouldn't get too attached. I'd hate to see your heart get broken."

Discord leaned back, his eyes fading from existence. "That's all. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a chocolate goat to attend to."

Filthy lay on his side, hating himself for getting roped into another deal. His thought's of self pity were instantly dispelled, however, when he remember his daughter. He shakily got to his hooves and stumbled his way to Diamond Tiara's room.

And all was quiet in the library.