Rediscovery

Chapter One – Broken

“Twi?"

“Come on, sugarcube, get up! What happened here?”

Twilight groaned, her head pounding like nothing she had ever felt before. She felt like her mind had been reduced to a swarm of bees and, for some reason, her flank hurt like a manticore had stung her.

“I…I don’t…remember. Where are we?”

Applejack frowned nervously. She ran her eyes over the unicorn’s body, starting at the head. Horn, hair, face, neck, withers, torso, flank—

She yelped in surprise and Twilight jerked her head up, her eyes wide with sudden fear. “W-what is it?”

Applejack’s voice was a terrified whisper.

“T-twi, your…cutie mark. It’s g-g…gone!”

Suddenly, a series of visions flashed rapidly before Twilight’s eyes, only taking perhaps half of a second and then moving on to the next one. Discord breaking free. Twilight fighting him. Failing and collapsing to the ground. Discord shuffling around some papers. And finally, her cutie mark disappearing, never to be restored. She let loose a terrified sob and closed her eyes tightly, but to no avail. The scenes kept playing over and over on an endless repeat. Finally, her mind broke from the stress and she shut down, passing out completely.

/-/-/-/-/

Somepony is crying.

I moan loudly, rolling over and clutching my head. The stinging on my flank is fading gradually, but if anything, the headache is worsening. For some reason, my eyes seem to sting as well. A high whimper escapes my lips as my mind begins to think of excruciating scenes and plays them in my mind.

“No…Noooooo…I didn’t…This wasn’t…I’m sorry…”

I curl up into a small ball of agony and rock gently on the hard wooden floor, wailing quietly. The headache is still getting worse. I don’t know why.

Somewhere, a door opens and shuts rapidly, and hooves clatter towards me on the wood. My moaning escalates as the noise drives spikes of pain into my head.

“No…just…leave…’lone…”

Somepony throws warm forelegs around my, and I open my eyes for long enough to catch a glimpse of butter yellow and pale pink before the light sears my retinas and I yelp in pain, closing them tightly. Faintly, as if from a distance, I hear somepony cooing gently to me.

“There there, Twilight, don’t cry. Applejack brought me here to help you. Are you okay? Are you hurt? She didn’t say what was wrong…”

Mustering up my strength, I open my eyes a crack, leaving the warm embrace of the darkness to look at the pegasus in front of me. She looks…oddly familiar through the tears and with a jolt, I realize that I’m the one crying. I shake off the feeling of familiarity and stared at the pony embracing me. I’ve never seen her before. I finally speak, my voice dry and raspy. “Who…are you? Where’s…Moondancer…?” Then, with no warning, everything goes crazy. The ceiling is the floor. The walls are made of red crystal. The pony in front of me flashes black and smiles menacingly, fangs clearly jutting from her jaw. My mind displays horrors to my eyes, and they blur together with the waking world until I can’t even comprehending what I’m seeing.

Suddenly, my eyes snap fully open and I look at the pegasus. It was all her fault, it must be. I snarl and levitate her with magic, throwing her against the wall. She doesn’t budge an inch and my head abruptly worsens. I cover my eyes with my hooves. Agony. Sheer, total mental agony. That’s all I feel.

“Oh…dear…Applejack? Rarity? I need some help…She’s not reacting well…So could you help me? f you don’t mind…?”

More clattering hooves. Escalating agony. A sweet, prissy voice plays, barely audible over the pounding in our head. I think something about gems, then I start yelling at myself in my head. I’ve never heard that voice. Regardless, we hear a different voice, a cowgirl twang, asking something. Our right ear twitches. The pulsing in our head hurts too much to think, too much to remain. I let myself slip again, fading into blackness as the voices soften and blur around me.

We find ourselves in a green field, staring at each other. You stare back, your cutie mark a purple star. You whisper to me, “They are our friends. They want to help us. Listen to me.”

The agony floods back with full force, driving me to the ground as I clamp my hooves around my head, my mouth open in a silent scream. You quietly clop over to me, holding out a lavender hoof. I stare at it, uncomprehending. She sighs. “I’m sorry, I really am. I didn’t think. I made this happen. I made you by mistake.” Her eyes narrow. “You shouln’t exist. You DON’T exist. You can’t exist. I will make you not exist.” Your horn glows the same color as blood, your coat taking on a shade of dark red, and the feeling of not-existing takes hold of me again. I tearfully clench my head, sobbing. I don’t want to go, I want to exist. I exist. You exist. We exist. But I don’t know who you are. Where’s Moondancer? Where’s Lyra? Who are all of you? Where’s Spike? Spike? Who’s Spike? Who am I? Am I you? Are you me? Are we us? What is this place? Is it a library or a field? A library in a field? Who would put a library in a field? A field in a library? But libraries are buildings, right? But maybe this library is a field?

Looking down. I see that the ground is not grass, but an endless expanse of green books. One opens under me, and then they all begin to open. White and black. Black and white. Words and paper, paper and words. What is this place? Why are there so many books?

The books fold open underneath me, and I begin to sink. Fighting does nothing. I can’t swim in books. I can’t swim in water. Can I? Can you? I don’t know. The endless green, black and white fades into nothing but black and I’m falling. I can see a barrier of books above me. Suddenly a rusty manacle clamps down on my hoof. Then another. Then another. Then another. All of my hooves are bound. A final manacle clamps down on my head. The chains begin to move, making me gallop in place, making me jump, making me move however they want. I’m a puppet. I’m YOUR puppet. Who is in control? You? Me? Us? What is this place? Is this my mind? My mind hurts. Everything hurts. Nothing hurts. Everything and nothing both hurt. No escape. Too much hurt. Hurt everywhere. All the time.

The manacles come loose and I fall again, hitting the ground. Monstrosities loom over me. A black alicorn. A monstrous draconequus. A bug pony. Then nothing. I don’t see anything else. I cough up blood. Who’s blood is it? It’s my blood. I know it’s mine. Is anything else mine? Is my body mine? Is my mind mine? Am I mine? Or am I yours? Am I a puppet?

You appear behind me in a flash of light. Teleporting. Why can’t I? I try. I fail. I can’t magic. Magic hates me. Why can’t magic? What is…Who are…Magic…Broken…I…

I fall unconscious and appear in Canterlot Castle. Nopony’s there. You’re there. You’re not a pony if nopony’s there. You can’t be. What are you? Are you broken too? Is that why you’re angry?

The world around me explodes in a huge roiling nightmare of not-existence and sickly shades of color. A tiny stone, just one stone, is left for me to stand on. One is left for you. Your horn glows red. My head hurts. I fall. Into the not-existence. It swallows me and I sigh.

Thinking…hard.

Am I…Alive? Are we?

Yes. If we’re not alive, then we’re dead. And if we’re dead, then there’s no reason for you to be mad at me. I think.

Then I’m back on the field. No. This is wrong. I’m supposed to be down in the not-ness, right? Things are supposed to hurt. I hit my head, trying to bring the pain back. Nothing. I look pleadingly at you. You don’t look. I want hurt. You should hurt me. That’s good, right? Hurt good. I mumble out a few weak words. I don’t understand them. Pictures pour out of your mouth as you soundlessly open and close it. That’s right. Pictures are mouth things. Words are things you see. Right?

/-/-/-/-/

I wake up, mumbling. Why are words coming out of their mouths? They should be pictures. The Yellow-Pink-Pegapony sees my eyes open and trots over to me. I don’t have headache. Bad. Bad bad bad! Hurt is good, right?

There’s a Purple-White-Unipony too. And an Orange-Yellow-Applepony. Applepony? Why applepony? Hatpony. No apples. Apples are a dream. Don’t exist. Yellow-Pink-Pegapony looks at me.

“Twilight?”

“NO! No Twilight! What…I…” Don’t trust. No trust. Bad pegapony. Bad yellow. Yellow bad. Yellow bad? Or yellow good? Pink. Pink good. No bad. Trust pink? Yellow. Don’t trust yellow. Yellow is bigger than pink. Purple-White-Unipony slowly walks up. White hurts. Eyes hurt. Bright, too bright. Good. Hurt.

There’s a sudden blast of pain and I’m looking through the eyes and moving the hooves. So is you. We move together. I move one way, you move the other. We fall. We look up at the Yellow-Pink-Flutterpony. Fluttershy. What? It’s not Fluttershy. Yes. Is Fluttershy. No. Yellow-Pink-Pegapony. Flutterpinkapegapony?

Rarity.

Applejack.

Good white hurt coat purple unipony?

Orange coat evil yellow mane applepony? Hatpony? Applehatpony?

We take a deep, shuddering breath. Fluttershy. Rarity. Applejack.