The Plot Thickens

Chapter Three: A Griffon's Pride

“I can’t believe I gotta do this… and all because of Celestia! Why can’t she keep her big butt out of my personal life?”

Rainbow Dash arrived at the gates of the Griffon Kingdom. It was a series of elaborate stone buildings carved into the side of a mountain, and most of the place was completely unreachable without wings (or serious determination). It was an impressive sight, and the strength of the stonework had seen it stand proudly against countless invasions for over a thousand years. Though Dash could have flown over the gates, she decided to avoid causing an international incident. This time.

“Hello? Could somebody let me in please?”

“What’s the password? Gilda chose it this week, if you need a hint.”

The guard clearly recognized Dash’s voice. She sighed, knowing what to expect.

“Griffons rule, ponies drool…”

The gates slowly swung open, revealing a homely little town. Griffons cared more for practability than design, so the whole place felt like it was from the days of knights and flagons of mead… just the thought of a nice glass of ale made Dash lose track of her goal, and so she set out for the tavern that was nearby.

The bar had a damp smell to it, but the rich aroma of booze (amongst other things) kept the place bearable. A group of griffons sang loudly in the middle of the room, as one danced on the table. Rainbow Dash had to hold back her laughter; griffons weren’t known for their dancing.

“Dash? Is that you?”

Rainbow Dash turned and saw her old friend Gilda staring at her. For a second it looked as if she was going to hug her, but then her expression hardened.

“And just what the hell are you doing in my kingdom?”

“Your kingdom? You don’t mean…?”

Gilda grinned smugly.

“That’s right, I successfully led a rebellion against Stonebeak himself!”

The illusion lasted a few seconds, before Gilda was handed a mop and bucket by the tavern’s owner.

“Well “Your Highness”, your royal duties require your attention in the bathroom, one of our peasants has just finished being revolting.”

Gilda’s face was of rage, then resignation.

“Ok, so maybe things got a little worse for me after I got back… I got kicked out of the royal guards because I was still mad at your blue butt and couldn’t focus, so I got stuck on cleanup duty for this miserable place instead- and it’s all YOUR fault!”

“My fault? This is why I didn’t want to come here Gilda, because in the end it’s always somebody else’s problem with you! If you hadn’t treated my friends like they were losers-“

“Newsflash Dash, they ARE losers. Always have been, always will be. And you chose them over me. I don’t know why you’re here and I don’t care, I have nothing left to say to you.”

Dash’s face became resolute. She was going to have to use that.

“A duel I dare by tooth and claw, I invoke sacred Griffon Law.”

The whole bar fell silent. Gilda herself looked shocked beyond words.

Griffon Law was a means by which griffon’s would challenge each other, it was an ancient ritual used to settle disputes, and was rarely employed anymore. Its use had become something rarely seen and always remembered, spoken of in tales.
And here a little pony was using it against a griffon. This was unprecedented, outrageous, a sacrilege.

“Dash, this is sacred Griffon Law we're talking about here... fine. Name a time and place, and choose your weapon.”

Dash smiled. She had already figured that much out.

“Here and now. My weapon will be this.”

Dash slowly lifted the enormous mug of ale that was before her. Griffons were known for being heavyweights when it came to their drinking, but Dash was confident.

“Dash, are you nuts? You couldn’t win a drinking contest with an average griffon, let alone me!”

“Stop talking and start chugging!”

The first mug was intense, like diving into the cold, bitter ocean. By the end of her glass the world seemed a little warmer and softer than before, the chanting and hollering of the griffons nearby becoming Rainbow Dash’s battle cry. Gilda finished her mug and casually flung it at the bartender.

“Another!”

“Gilda, throw my mugs like that again and you’re fired.”

“Y-yes sir…”

By the third glass Dash was pretty sure the world was spinning, but despite gravity’s obstinate refusal to pick an axis she was still going. Gilda herself was starting to look a little tipsy herself, her plumage started to become ruffled.

“Are you sure you wanna drink keeping ol’ Rainboomie? Cause there’s no surrender in saying shame…”

The fifth glass had the entire bar in silence. Dash began to gently sway back and forth of the spot, and Gilda was whistling tunelessly.

“You know what Dash, I think I have another way we could settle this…”

Gilda slowly left the table and wandered up the stairs towards the inn’s bedrooms. As she gestured for Rainbow Dash to join her the hooting and hollering of the crowd reached new heights.

“You know, the last time I saw someone invoke Griffon’s Law this happened too!” One of the patrons said.

“Aye lad, it almost always does.” The bartender laughed.

***

Unlike the rest of the inn, the bedroom Gilda had chosen were luxurious; silk beds, soft carpet and paintings adorning the walls. Apparently a relative of Rarity had been there once many years ago and had refused to sleep in the room until it was “as fabulous as she was”.

“You know Dashie, I’ve always wanted to have a little tussle with you… you and that cute little rainbow butt of yours.”

Dash smiled. Maybe it was the booze, or the way the moonlight shone through the open window, but right now she just wanted to spend one crazy night with her friend.

“But aren’t you worried about your claws Gilda? I mean, they seem kinda sharp…”

“Oh, but I’m not the one who has to worry about them. Don’t worry Dashie, I’ll be gentle…” Gilda purred. “Now flip over and lemme give you a backscratch.

Gilda had to be careful, of course. Her claws were sharp, and she started slowly and softly. After a few minutes Dash yawned impatiently.

“Are you gonna sing me a lullaby while you’re there? Cause you’re putting me to sleep over here!”

“Alright, you asked for it! Let’s see how you like THIS!” Gilda laughed.

To the surprise of both pony and griffon Gilda’s claws weren’t doing any damage at all to Dash’s tender hide- in fact, she began to giggle uncontrollably instead.

“Quit it Gilda, that tickles! Heheheheheh Oohhhhhh!”

The second Gilda touched Dash’s wings the mood changed. Gilda knew that the underside of a griffon’s wings were an erogenous zone, and it seemed to be the case for pegusi as well.

“Oh wow, that’s amazing Gilda… oh, a little lower, a little faster…”

After a few minutes Gilda decided to move to a more traditional area to continue the foreplay, and flipped Dash over. She pressed herself against against Dash’s body, her hot breath still smelling of the ale from before. Dash looked into her amber eyes and kissed her tenderly on her beak.

“Funny, I thought kissing a beak would be cold and hard, but yours is kinda warm. I guess when we first met I felt the same about you in general.”

Gilda slowly grinded against the pony, her eyes never leaving Dash’s. She didn’t care about the competition anymore, just the warm dance they were performing together. Gradually the tempo increased, and Dash began to groan in time to the silent rhythm of the moment. Their bodies began to glow warm with the friction and passion of it all. Gilda's only regret was the same thing that had given her the courage to proposition Dash in the first place; the ale, which had left her too sleepy to really give her everything she had.

“I… need… to… ask… you… a… FAVOUR!” Dash said, exhausted.

“Yeah, I figured as much. You know what? Let’s call it a draw. We’ll settle this with a coin toss.”

“Isn’t that against Griffon Law?”

“As if I care about some stuffy old tradition” Gilda said.

She took a coin and tossed it into the air. By the time it had rolled under the bed the two creatures above were too busy kissing passionately to notice they hadn’t even bothered deciding who was heads and who was tails.

When the lurid pervert of a sun rose to spy on the two, Dash held Gilda in her arms. Gilda had been crying.

“Why did you choose them over me, Dashie?”

“I didn’t want to, Gilda. You made me choose.”

***

That morning Gilda saw Rainbow Dash off at the gates. She seemed happier than she had been in a long time.

“You make sure you come back someday, Dash! The next time we meet I’ll be the ruler of the Griffon Kingdom for real!”

“I promise, Gilda. And thanks for everything.”

“No Dash, I should be thanking you. I blamed you for everything after I blew you off at that party… I may still not like your friends, but I like you. Come back anytime.”

Rainbow Dash waved as she tucked the scrap of spell piece into her bag. She flew off into the deep blue sky, her task accomplished.

“Thanks Dashie,” Gilda whispered.