The Adventures Continue

Three’s a Crowd

Episode 4/11

Prompt: I looked through Couch’s prompts this week. All of them were terrible. I threw them out as a favor to you. Go nuts, but just make sure I’mthe star, yes? -D.

Word count restriction: 1,000 - 7,000

“Stupid, stinking Tatzlwurm,” Discord fumed. “May the cosmos rain down fiery justice upon its stupid, stinking soul!”

“Oh, come now,” said Fluttershy, rubbing his neck gently through the pink bubble barrier Twilight had set up to isolate him. “It was just trying to defend its territory. It didn’t mean to get you sick.”

“You have no idea what the beast was meaning to do,” he replied, crossing his arms. “For all you know, it could have woken up that morning with the specific intention of laying waste to my immune system.”

“Don’t you think that’s a little unrealistic?”

He looked at her deadpan. “I don’t know the meaning of the word ‘unrealistic,’ my dear. In case you haven’t noticed, I do the ‘unrealistic’ each and every da...da… ACHOO!”

Fluttershy shook her head and smiled. “Everyone has limitations, Discord.”

“Perhaps, but why should an ancient spirit fall to worm snot just as easily as to the Elements of Harmony?” he grumbled. “I didn’t even know I could get sick.”

She grimaced. “Let’s not talk about that, please.”

He coughed and perked his ears up. “What’s that?”

She brought her forehoof out of the bubble. “I said, let’s not talk about… that… if you wouldn’t mind.”

His confusion morphed into amusement. “The Elements of Harmony, you mean?”

She nodded. “Yes; that.”

“Why, whatever do you mean? They’re simply the instruments that you and your friends used to imprison me in that cold, desolate, stone statue.”

“I know what they are,” she said quickly, “but if it’s all the same to you, I’d rather not discuss them.” She stuck her hoof back into the bubble and resumed rubbing his neck. “Besides, I’m… sure you have more pleasant things you’d like to talk about.”

“Oh, not really,” he said with a stretch. “Any contact with you, Fluttershy, is more than enough for me, regardless of what we discuss.”

The two sat in silence, Fluttershy gently massaging his neck amidst his labored, wheezy breathing. “Tell me about your home,” she said after a while. “I mean, if you don’t mind. It occurred to me that since I only send my letters to the nearest post office, I don’t even know where you live.”

“Oh, it’s quite the homey place,” he replied. “After I left Ponyville for the first time, I wandered to the Southern tip of Equestria to see if I could find a place to call my own. On the way I encountered a little town by the name of Appleloosa.”

“I’ve been there with my friends. Applejack’s cousin lives there.”

“Unfortunately, it seems Princess Twilight had forgotten to send a memo to the rest of Equestria, because the entire town went into a frenzy the moment I walked in.” He crossed his arms, but chuckled despite himself. “It would have been some satisfying chaos had they not been afraid of me.”

“They wouldn’t let you stay there?”

“They practically ran me out of town! Did you know that buffalo live there, as well?”

“I had an idea.”

“Let me tell you, Fluttershy; buffalo and ponies should not have foals together.” He shivered. “Grotesque creatures, those offspring.”

She giggled. “It’s not nice to judge ponies based on appearance, Discord.”

“How does one pick out a book, if not for an eye-catching cover?” he returned with a smirk.

Fluttershy removed her forehoof, rubbed it tenderly, and replaced it with the other. “So what did you do then?”

“I could have made those ponies and buffalo and… pony-buffalo pay for their impudence, but fortunately for them, I had more important things to worry about.”

“Like finding a home?”

Discord’s expression suddenly grew hard. “It gets cold at night in the desert,” he said, averting his eyes.

“How long did it take until you found your home?”

“It took a few days, but eventually I stumbled upon a cave that would suit me well enough.”

“Wait,” Fluttershy said, bringing the hoof she wasn’t using to massage him to her chin. “Couldn’t you have just built a house with your magic?”

“I suppose, but for some reason I preferred more natural accommodations. I think it’s the dragon in me,” he said, bending over to stroke his scaly red tail.

“So, you live in a cave?”

“I made some beautifications, but the structure remains the same from the outside. All the better, if it means no ponies will stumble over and want to pay me a visit.”

“I thought you liked ponies now.”

“I like some ponies now. Seven, to be precise.”

“Seven?”

“I met a traveling magician on my way South. She complained that she wasn’t getting much business, so I informed her that magic isn’t very impressive when a third of the ponies in the world can do it anyway.”

“Did the pony have a blue coat?”

He nodded. “She had a blue coat and a purple coat.”

“A blue and purple coat?”

“No; a blue coat, and a purple coat.”

“A coat of blue and purple?” she asked, cocking her head.

“No; a blue…” He rubbed his face in exasperation. “A blue coat, and a purple coat.”

“Oh! That was probably Trixie, then. My friends and I have met her before.”

“She asked about you; wanted to know Princess Twilight and her friends were doing.”

She grinned. “I’m glad she remembers us.”

He sneezed. "Yes, well, I informed her that I believed you were well, but that I wouldn't know, because I was sent away."

She frowned. “Sent away?”

“Sent away,” he repeated, folding his arms again. “Like a stunningly handsome bag of garbage.”

“Discord, what are you talking about?”

“Don’t think I didn’t notice how eager you ponies were to have me out of Ponyville after my ‘reformation,’” he said, using his fingers as quotation marks. “There was no time to settle in and nary a word of goodbye before my fate was decided for me. The pink one didn’t even throw me a farewell party. The pink one! The one that hosts a grand celebration whenever she uses the toilet correctly!”

Fluttershy withdrew her hoof, her face full of concern. “We talked about this, Discord. We didn’t think the other ponies in town would be comfortable if--”

“If I decided to stay?” Discord finished. “Is that how you ponies treat a friend? Sending them away to the farthest reaches of Equestria because you can’t be bothered to make some accommodations?”

“What do you think we should have done? The ponies around here are… excitable.”

“I don’t care what you should have done! What you shouldn’t have done is put the frivolous concerns of your pathetic townsfolk over the feelings of somepony you call a friend!” He huffed, a bit of smoke escaping his nostrils. “Or, some draconequus, anyhow,” he said, after sneezing.

“Princess Celestia just wanted to be sure that--”

“That I wouldn’t conquer the world again? I thought friendship was about trust. In fact,” he said, a smirk threatening to overtake his frown, “I’m quite certain your precious pony princess said as much herself.”

“She did?”

Discord snapped, and with a flash, a scroll appeared in his hands. He cleared his throat, hacking loudly, and read:

“Dear Princess Celestia,

I am writing to you from the most delightful party. I’m not only having a great time with my friends, but also was given the opportunity to learn a valuable lesson about friendship. Always expect the best from your friends, and never assume the worst. Rest assured that a good friend always has your best interests at heart.

Your faithful student,” he said as the scroll vanished, “Twilight Sparkle.”

Fluttershy blushed and looked to the ground.

“It would appear,” Discord continued, “that that particular friendship lesson didn’t quite stick. Your friends have done nothing but assume the worst of me since I was reformed, and I haven’t done anything to deserve it.”

Fluttershy raised her tearful eyes to meet his gaze. “You’re right, Discord. I’m so sorry.”

He bit his lip. “No… no, you have nothing to apologize for. It’s your friends that do. You, however, have done nothing.” He tapped his forefingers together. “Nothing, that is, besides make a new friend.”

She wiped her eyes and offered him a small smile. “And you’re right about that too. I’ll never assume the worst from you.”

“If only your other friends could be as considerate,” he returned with a smile of his own.

“I’ll talk to them,” she said. “I swear. I’ll tell them that it’s not okay for them to think so badly of you. I’ll tell them that part of being friends means trusting you.”

He shook his head, sneezed, and smirked. “You can try all you want, but I doubt they’ll be as receptive as you’d hope.”

“There is something you can do, though,” she said, putting her arm back into the bubble.

“And what’s that?”

“You could apologize.”

“You mean, apologize for--”

“Yes.”

He leaned back and stroked his beard. “I see… so they’re still upset about that…”

“Twilight especially. I think an apology would work wonders to smooth things over,” she said as she began to stroke him again.

“Unfortunately, I think you may be right.”

Minutes passed. “Fluttershy, out of all you, you’re the only one to have forgiven me.” Discord grimaced. “I mean, you have… forgiven me, haven’t you?”

Fluttershy closed her eyes and nodded. “Of course.”

“Why?”

She chuckled. “That’s what friends are for.” For the rest of the afternoon the two sat together in silence, as they were wont to do.