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“Yeah, yeah, sure,” Pinkie Pie nodded absentmindedly, leading Rainbow Dash along the streets of Ponyville. They slowly wound their way toward Sugarcube Corner, the sun glistening cheerily over the rooftops and settling calmly over them as the afternoon warmth basked Ponyville’s citizens in a gentle glow.

“You’re positive?” Rainbow Dash pried again, trotting uncomfortably behind her friend.

“Abso-tively posi-lutely!” Pinkie nodded enthusiastically, the spring in her step evident as she heaved open the door to the familiar bakery with ease. “You’re just going about it the wrong way, is all!”

“I don’t know,” Dash muttered uncertainly, stepping into the cool shade of the bakery. “I’ve tried nearly everything I could, and I still can’t get o-”

Dash suddenly found herself with a mouth full of hoof.

“Hiya, Mister Cake!” Pinkie beamed at Carrot cheerfully as she guided the pegasus inside. The slightly scruffy stallion nodded politely to them both, wiping his hooves on his flour-dusted apron.

“Afternoon, Pinkie,” he said friendlily. “But I thought that you said you had errands to run…?”

“Oh, I did!” Pinkie Pie nodded while Rainbow Dash forcefully removed the hoof from her mouth with a scowl and a slight pop! “But I’m all done now, mostly. Me and Dashie are just spending some quality time together. I’m helping to solve problems!”

“Well, that’s nice of you, Pinkie Pie,” Carrot Cake smiled earnestly at them. “Carry on, ladies!”

Carrot returned to his work on the opposite side of the counter, carefully rolling dough.

“Tally-ho!” Pinkie slapped Dash’s flank loudly, cackling manically as she darted up the stairs to escape the wrath of the startled pegasus.

“For buck’s sake, Pinkie Pie!” Rainbow Dash shouted, charging after her.

It was silent for a moment, and Carrot let out a long, drawn out sigh.

He swore, sometimes, the mare was even more of a hoofful than the twins.

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Pinkie patted her surprisingly soft bed, gesturing for Dash to hop up.

Rainbow Dash tried to make herself as comfortable as she could, although she was having great difficulty. Perhaps she wouldn’t have been quite so tense if Pinkie Pie weren’t being so casual about the whole ordeal.

Or, in hindsight, maybe that would have made it worse.

Either way, Dash found herself fretfully rubbing her own forehooves as Pinkie began to pace before her.

“Oki-doki-loki!” Pinkie said seriously, first ensuring that the door behind them was firmly locked and the window shades were tightly drawn. “Tell me everything you know.”

“I know that this feels an awful lot like an interrogation,” Rainbow Dash pointed out uneasily.

“Oh, pshaw,” she waved her off. Pinkie stood directly in front of her, steepling her hooves together and somehow managing to refrain from falling over, which baffled Rainbow Dash. “First things first – and no lying to me, Dashie, I need you to be honest about this one – there’s something I’ve got to know before anything goes down.”

“Shoot,” Dash nodded seriously. “If there’s anything I can tell you that’ll help.”

“Are you a virgin?”

Rainbow Dash spluttered incomprehensibly, blinking almost violently.

“Are – I – you don’t – what?”

“Are. You. A. Virgin?” Pinkie asked, leaning in a little more intently.

“Not-not technically, no…” Dash replied heatedly, turning away slightly.

Pinkie Pie let out a little squeal and clapped her hooves together, nearly prancing on the spot.

“Eeeeeeh! I knew it!” she grinned widely. “So, what was his name?”

“Huh?”

“His name!” Pinkie leaned in again, a bit too close for comfort. Dash resisted the urge to climb further onto the bed away from her friend. “Come on, Dashie. You have got to feed my sense of gossip here. What was the stallion’s name? Is it somepony I know? Please tell me it’s somepony we know.”

Rainbow Dash only shook her head slowly, embarrassed.

“… A mare…?” Pinkie Pie slowly asked with a sly grin, prompting the pegasus to shake her head even harder.

“No, no, no. It-it wasn’t some stallion. And it wasn’t a mare.”

“… Donkey?”

“What?” Dash blinked. “No, Pinkie, I – it was, um…”

“It was um…!” Pinkie rolled her hoof through the air expectantly.

“A vibrator.”

Pinkie Pie stared for a long moment.

“Oh. Is that all?” she asked with a little chuckle. “How is that something to be so hesitant about telling me?”

“This isn’t the kind of thing I just go around talking about, Pinkie!” Rainbow Dash glowered at her, crossing her hooves across her chest.

“Okay, okay,” Pinkie held her hooves up defensively, and returned to her slow pacing. “I just had to make sure first.”

“Can we just get this over with?” Dash asked grumpily. “I could just as easily go back to trying to cum on my own, Pinkie.”

“But you won’t,” Pinkie Pie winked at her. “Because I’m going to solve your problem, easy peasy.”

“Can we get to that part already?” Rainbow Dash shifted awkwardly. Pinkie started to speak, but instead began digging in a drawer until she found what she was searching for.

“… Look away.”

“Huh?” Dash squinted, trying to see around her. Pinkie only waved her hoof at her, a smile curling up her cheeks again.

“Look away! You’ll ruin the surprise.”

“Don’t like surprises,” Rainbow Dash grumbled, although she did as she was commanded. She supposed that she was already pushing her luck, especially with how far out of her way Pinkie Pie was going to help her. It was the friendly kind of thing –

“Pinkie Pie, what the actual fuck.”

“Ta~da!” Pinkie proudly displayed the vibrantly green strap-on, giving it a little flick. “Ain’t it grand?”

“Pinkie, that thing’s ginormous!” Rainbow Dash cringed at the sheer length of the upwardly curving rubber member, perfectly sculpted to resemble a healthy stallionhood.

The pink party pony snorted, and rolled her eyes.

“If you think Minty’s big, you ought to see Candy Cane.”

“… You named your-your…”

“Dildos, yes,” Pinkie deadpanned. It was a bizarre look on her. “Really, I’m being pretty lenient – Minty is one of the smaller ones.”

“Holy shit,” Dash’s eyes widened a little in disbelief.

Pinkie held back a satisfied smirk, and said “It’s totally okay to feel a little overwhelmed by the first –”

“Hurry up and jam it in!”

“Wait, what?”

“Hurry up!” Rainbow Dash clenched her wings tightly to her sides, shivering a little with anticipation at what was sure to be her end all cure all. “Come on, Pinks; let’s do this!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Pinkie frowned, the dangling length drooping a bit. “Take it easy, Fido. Haven’t you ever heard of foreplay?”

“Oh, come on!” Dash narrowed her eyes. “Haven’t you ever heard of speed?”

“I think it’s called ‘impatience’,” Pinkie giggled, leaning across the agitated pegasus and pushing her gently back onto the bed. “And secondly, speed isn’t everything. You ought to know that, Dashie. There’s also skill, and technique, and buildup. Ooh, and endurance.”

“I’m great at all of that, already,” Dash waved her off. “So we can skip all theeewhoooohoooooommmm.”

Rainbow Dash chewed her lower lip as Pinkie’s hot tongue rose up to meet her lips, flickering back and forth slowly. Pinkie skimmed her tongue over Dash’s slit, eliciting a shuddering breath from the mare as she eagerly spread her legs a little wider.

“Awfuwwy quick fo fhange yo’ mind,” Pinkie tried to say, the vibrations from her voice making the pegasus jitter.

“Pinkie, you shouldn’t talk with your mouth full,” Dash breathed shakily, gripping at the bed sheets in earnest.

“Evvewypony’th a comedian.”

With a little more enthusiasm, Pinkie Pie slid her tongue inside Rainbow Dash, who arched her back and moaned pleasurably when she did so. Encouraged, Dash found herself bucking lowly against the stretching and cupping tongue of Pinkie as the heat in her blossomed. Eventually, Pinkie Pie pulled away from her, the juices still fresh on as she wiped her lips with a grin.

“Normally,” Pinkie rubbed the bright lime length slowly, wetting the tip with Dash’s own clit and earning another quiet moan. “Normally, I prefer for a bunch a’ crunchin' and a' munchin’ to work both ways first, but I’ll make a special exception this time.

Pinkie Pie rubbed the tip of the stallion’s rod against Rainbow Dash’s thin hole, exciting her further. Dash squirmed in eagerness, her wings spread eagle beneath her and twitching expectantly. Finally, finally, Pinkie leaned forward and pressed the long, plump dildo against her, and ever so slowly began to ease it into her, centimeter by centimeter.

Rainbow Dash hissed with pleasure, biting back a cry as the dildo reached halfway into her before Pinkie Pie stopped.

“Haa,” Dash huffed, chewing her lower lip so hard that it felt as if it would go raw. “Haaah, yeah. Right there’s good, Pinks. Right – right there.”

“Here?” Pinkie asked playfully, pulling backwards a couple of inches. “Or… here?” she grinned, plunging a little deeper into Rainbow Dash. Dash muffled her squeal with her elbow, rising up to meet the length as Pinkie Pie’s hips eventually met her own flesh.

The entire thing had gone inside of her much more quickly than she had expected, and it was all Rainbow Dash had to keep from releasing her voice as loudly as possible while Pinkie Pie thrust into her. She almost shouted out in desire and burning pleasure a couple of times, only to be cut off by the prepared Pinkie.

“Easy there, candied pear,” Pinkie huffed, pumping rhythmically into Rainbow Dash with already loud, wet slaps. “Don’t want anypony – hmm! – to go – ah! – getting curious about ooh, yes! About the noise, eh?”

Rainbow Dash shook her head slowly, panting heavily as she matched her friend’s manic grin. She didn’t care at this point; it was maddening, she could feel it… so close, so very close…!

And Pinkie pounded into her with all her might, the squeak of the mattress doing very little to muffle their voices. On her back or draped over the bed, kneeling or flat out on the floor.

Rainbow Dash began to lose track of time, gasping and moaning in time to Pinkie Pie’s metrical thrusts, the careful caresses of her wingtips as Pinkie Pie leaned over her and clutched her neck to better grip while she slipped into her.

“I’m gonna cum again!” Pinkie moaned in ecstasy, lurching in and out sporadically.

Eventually, Pinkie Pie withdrew from Rainbow Dash sloppily, a spray of white, foamy liquid suddenly splattering across Dash’s chest and face.

She started in surprise, the heavily breathing Pinkie dropping next to her and gasping for breath. However, the goofy grin was still plastered on her face.

“… Pinkie, did you just shoot silly string on my face?” Rainbow Dash asked through her own raspy breaths.

Pinkie snickered, wearily reclining her head on Dash’s chest in bliss.

“Money shot, baby,” Pinkie giggled, letting the small can roll from her hoof to the floor. She snuggled against Dash momentarily, and hugged her warmly. “Celestia’s fiery plot that was great. Did you at least get off half as many times as I did?”

“That depends,” Rainbow Dash breathed. “Did you climax once?”

“… Oh, you have got to be joking me,” Pinkie scowled, suddenly serious.

“No,” Dash replied miserably. “You definitely have the better sense of humor.”

“Not even once?” Pinkie forced herself to tilt her head up to face Dash better, her bright blue eyes meeting her magenta ones. “Really? I put everything I had into that fuck!”

“Face it, Pinks,” Rainbow Dash said bitterly. “I just can’t do it.”

Pinkie Pie gave her a faraway look, and shook her head. The determination bolstered within her, and she slapped one hoof against the other in resolve.

“Horse feathers,” Pinkie vowed. “I will help you cum, Dashie – if it’s the last thing I do! So hard you’ll think your legs blew off!”

“I already can’t feel my legs, Pinkie Pie,” Dash puffed tiredly.

“… I can’t feel your legs either, Dashie,” Pinkie admitted with a grin, slowly resting against her once again. “I promise you, Rainbow Dash – I Pinkie Promise. I’ve got a better plan, too; and this one’s foolproof. I’m going to do whatever it takes to satisfy you once and for all, and there is nothing that could possibly -- Rainbow Dash, are you even listening to me?”

But she was already fast asleep.

And with before long, with a warm little smile on her lips, Pinkie Pie joined her.

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Author's Note

Warning: may contain the occasional feels and/or goofy moments.