Chapter 1: The Good Memories are Worth the Bad
It was a warm, sunny day in Ponyville that day. A silver-gray pegasus with blonde hair and bright golden eyes was happily skipping along the road with a basket in her mouth. As she went along her way she looked around at the familiar sights of her hometown; the Cutie Mark Crusaders pulling outrageous stunts to earn their cutie marks, Applejack selling apples, and Rainbow Dash flying above making sure no cloud would ruin the clear blue sky. Everything seemed perfectly normal and happy. The mare felt at peace as she knew it would all be exactly like this when she came back from her trip. She trotted along, humming a merry tune as she neared her destination. She opened the front door of the humble cottage and went upstairs to the attic, where a big blue box was waiting. She went inside of it and set her basket down on a flat surface, mouth watering from the delicious aroma of muffins coming from it.
"Doctooooorrrrr?" she called. "I'm here, I brought some muffins!"
At the sound of his name and the smell of muffins, a tan stallion with spiky dark brown hair and a red tie emerged from a staircase leading below the console and hugged her. "Oooh these muffins smell delicious! You make the absolute best muffins, Miss Derpy."
The mare, now known as Derpy, blushed and smiled. "Thanks."
The Doctor took one of the soft, fresh muffins out of the basket and took a greedy bite out of it.
"So, where are we going this time?" Derpy inquired.
"Well," he muffled through his bite of muffin, "I've planned a trip to the SS Hodiaod. It's this really fancy space cruise ship that was created by the Laguarians." -He swallowed his mouthful to speak more clearly- "They say it's one of the best space cruises in the universe; passing destinations like the Butterfly Nova, their home planet Laguarius, and even a great viewing point of the Great Star Whale migration," he explained and took another large bite out of his fresh muffin.
"Ooh, that sounds really nice." She imagined the brilliant vibrant colors of the Butterfly Nova, and the majesty of the Star Whales.
The Doctor swallowed the last of the muffin and smiled. "Well alright then, let's get going shall we?" He galloped over to the console and fiddled with all kinds of strange gadgets; spingy knobs, all colors and sizes of buttons, and many levers. Derpy giggled as she watched him mess with all the random controls, sometimes she wondered if he even really knew what he was doing. Finally he pulled a large lever and the contraption made its signature wheezing-like noise. He opened the doors and presented the new place they were in. "Here we are, the SS Hodaiod!"
Derpy walked out of the doors and looked around in amazement. The walls were covered in beautiful pieces of art: paintings, tapestries, and pictures; and the ceilings were domed and filled with statues of aliens and ponies. "No matter how many places you take me Doctor, I never cease to be amazed," she said in awe.
He grabbed her hoof and started to pull her around the place, greeting new ponies, and showing her all kinds of interesting things. The whole day went by quickly with all the activities and excitement, until Derpy finally collapsed on her room's cushiony bed. The Doctor came into her room and informed her how they were going to see the Star Whale migration tomorrow, said goodnight, and Derpy was soon sucked into sleep. The Doctor sat in his room for a while, watching the stars pass by his window. He sighed and sleepily laid on his pillow, feeling like nothing could ever go wrong as he fell asleep.
But the Doctor was forgetting that everywhere he went, trouble was almost always right behind him.
Derpy's eyes flung open as she heard a loud commotion. The noise had startled her awake and she woke up with heart pounding. She sat up and looked around for any signs of anything wrong. She heard a large boom from above her, and noticed what looked like light coming from outside the window. Derpy trotted up to it and looked out; seeing nothing but the brilliant, but expected, bright stars shining against the black emptiness of space. Then she jumped as a giant meteor flew by her window. She got a dreadful feeling, she could tell something was wrong. She looked over to her left and saw the front end of the ship. Her eyes widened with horror and she gasped as she saw a chunk of the bow gone, and fire spreading through the ship's front. Ponies were jumping out of the ship into the cold emptiness and dead bodies aimlessly floated through space. Derpy flew her door open and ran as fast as she could to the Doctor's room. She banged on the door and yelled his name until he opened the door, his face pale. "Doctor the ship! The front is on fire!" she cried.
He grabbed her hoof and they galloped to a balcony where they could see more of the ship. They shrank back as a chunk of meteor whisked past their faces. They looked around and saw meteors all over the place. "We must have got caught in a meteor field and the ship was hit!" the Doctor explained.
"What do we do?!" Derpy cried as she imagined all the helpless ponies being burnt by fire or suffocated out in space.
The Doctor looked around and slightly smirked. "Why, we save the day of course!" He grabbed her hoof and dragged her along with him back to the blue box they arrived in. Still shocked, Derpy sat down in a chair while the Doctor pressed some controls. "We're not," she gasped, "we're not just leaving are we?"
The Doctor looked at her with a shocked look on his face. "Out of all our adventures, you think I'd just leave when a ship full of ponies is crashing?"
"Then why are we in here?!"
He looked back at the controls and fiddled with some more things, and the TARDIS landed. "Just taking a shortcut to the engine room!" he explained.
They ran back out and were now in a huge room with a huge hole in the ground, leading down to a giant ball of nuclear energy. The Doctor turned to a giant control panel and studied the switches. "It seems like the fire emergency setting didn't come on automatically, so I'll just have to turn it on manually," he said half to himself. Derpy stared wide eyed down into the hole and the ball of radiation at the bottom. "What is that?" she asked.
"Hmm? Oh that's just the ship's energy fuel source. A radioactive nuclear core. Stay back it's very hot and well, radioactive."
She gasped and backed away from the edge as she imagined herself falling. She may have wings but she wasn't the best flier.
"W-what about the big hole in the ship? How do we get all the ponies out of here?" she questioned as she trotted over to him.
He looked at a monitor showing a map of the ship and locations of everyone inside it. "It seems like everyone has already cleared away from the gaping hole, and there are large escape pods just about everywhere at the sides of the ship. They show everypony routes to the escape pods when they board the ship in case of an emergency, like this one!" He grunted with effort as he tried to pull down a large lever. "Can you help me out here?" he asked through gritted teeth. Derpy came over to him and helped him pull down the lever. There was a loud hissing sound and foam started spraying everywhere. The monitor showed the flames at the ship's front being put out. "Brilliant. Now we just need to tell everyone to hurry to the escape pods." He found a microphone and set it to be sent throughout the whole ship. "Attention, everyone!" his voice rang throughout the ship. "Everyone make your way to an escape pod. Wait until your pod is about full before you launch it, we don't want anyone left behind. The fire has been taken care of, so just stay calm. Everyone's going to be fine," he ordered and then turned it off. "Well, that all seems to be taken care of. Everyone seems to be making their way to the escape pods on
the map, but we should check up on them, and make sure everyone gets out."
Derpy stared at the ground and nodded distractedly. "What's wrong?" The Doctor asked.
"This all just seems... pretty convenient, don't you think? This just seemed so... easy," she said. He shrugged it off. "Well the Languarians were pretty smart to design these safety precautions, so an emergency like this can be easily solved."
"Yeah, I guess..."
"C'mon, we need to make sure everyone's okay," he said and they started to trot over to the TARDIS. Suddenly there was a very loud rumbling of an explosion
nearby, causing the room they were in to shake violently. The lights turned off and all that could be heard was the groaning of the ship and the explosions outside. The Doctor and Derpy were flung over the edge of the hole and started falling towards the reactor core.
Derpy groggily blinked her eyes open and started to re-gain her senses after they were flung by the shockwave. At first she was confused because she saw a large bright light in front of her. Am I... dead? she thought with shock. She blinked her eyes a few times to get better focus and gasped. She felt gravity tugging on her body as she hung upside down above the ship's core. She looked up at what was keeping her from meeting her doom and saw the Doctor was hanging onto a ledge that stuck out from wall while he held her tail in his mouth. "Doctor?!" she yelled up to him.
"Foludverervfac," he mumbled through a mouthful of hair.
"... Oh! Don't worry, I'm a Pegasus! With some effort I can probably fly us up to solid ground!" she yelled. Derpy opened up her wings and felt a strange sensation in one of them. She started to flap and felt excruciating pain shoot through her left wing as it stopped moving. "GAH!" Her scream of pain echoed throughout the pit. She looked at her dangling wing and was shocked. "D-doctor! My wing! It's... It's broken!"
She heard a muffled gasp of shock from the Doctor above. "Verfom... vufgedofmufvodl?"
"Uh, what was that?" she replied, confused.
Through gritted teeth, he answered, "Cen you vold onto fe?"
"... oh! Can I hold onto you?"
He slightly nodded.
"Okay... oh so then you don't have to hold onto my tail and you can talk right?"
"Vmhmmmmmf"
"Alright!" She slowly bended upward to grab onto his back hooves, which where dangling freely, which she then used as leverage to clasp his stomach. "Okay, I've got a good grip!"
"Pleh!" he spit out her tail and tried to get the hair out of his mouth. "There are some ledges sticking out the wall here. Perhaps I can climb up the wall using the ledges and get us to the top!" the Doctor told her. He grunted with effort as he heaved his hooves up a bit, and reached for the ledge above them. As much as he stretched his front leg, all he could grab was air. "I can't reach it, we're too heavy! How many muffins did you eat yesterday?!" he yelled down to her.
"Hey, it was a free muffin shop! I couldn't help myself!"
The Doctor rolled his eyes and grunted. Derpy looked around for another way of escape. She spotted a ledge on the other side of the hole that stuck out enough for them to stand on and rest. "Doctor, there's a ledge down there that sticks out enough for me to land on! I may have a broken wing, but maybe I can still make it!" she yelled up at him.
"How does that help us if we're separated and you're even farther down?!"
"Without me dragging you down, perhaps you can climb up to the TARDIS, and then teleport to me!" she replied. Her eyes were wide with terror, and she could feel her eyes starting to water. They were running out of options.
"No!" the Doctor replied. "There's no way you could make it! With a broken wing you'd be unbalanced and you'd just fall! I'll figure a way out of this!" he told her. He thought for a moment more about her idea, and then got a plan. "Derpy! Perhaps if you flap your good wing, it'll lessen our weight and then I might be able to reach the ledge above us!"
After a few moments he heard spaztic flapping and felt a bit of the stress pulling on his body lessen. With less weight pulling him down perhaps he could use more strength to reach the ledge. His hoof was only an inch away from it now. "Flap harder!" he instructed.
"I am!" she yelled through painful tears. He almost had it now, he could touch the ledge but couldn't get a grip on it. Just a little more...he thought. Finally his hoof got a grip. "Yes! Derpy I've got it!" he exclaimed triumphantly. He was answered by an exhausted grunt and a sudden tug of weight that almost made him slip. He used all of his strength to pull his other hoof up to the ledge. Now they just needed to do the same thing just two more times and maybe they could reach the safety of a large ledge above them. Sweat gathered on his brow simply at the thought of climbing both of them up there.
"We're almost there. You have to flap as hard as you can Derpy; give it all you've got!"
Derpy grunted and used every last bit of her energy to flap her wing. The Doctor reached up and touched the ledge. "Okay Derpy, just a little more!"
"I can't!" she cried. She could feel her energy draining and her wing muscles were tightening.
"Yes you can Derpy! If you can't flap harder we're doomed! Think of your home, think of your family, think of Dinky!"
Tears of pain and fear streamed down her face as she flapped even harder.
"You can't leave Dinky all on her own! She's already lost her father, she needs you!"
Derpy fought the burning pain and flapped her one good wing as hard as she could.
"Almost... there...," he said as he reached upward.
"GAH!!" Derpy screamed as stabbing pain shot through her wing. It cramped up and she suddenly dropped like a dead weight. Gravity was too powerful, his body slipped out of her grip. The Doctor gasped with realization as he felt the weight pull him down and then disappear. "DERPY!!!" he yelled as he looked down and saw her falling.
"DOCTOR!!!" She screamed as she fell. She opened her crippled wings to try and slow her down like a parachute, but they were both broken, and just dangled with the wind rushing through them. She felt the intense heat of the core as she got closer every second. She closed her eyes and braced herself.
The Doctor stared with wide eyes as he watched his companion falling down into a ball of radiation. He heaved himself up onto the top of the ledge and collapsed with exhaustion on the solid ground. He looked back down into the hole and couldn't see her anymore. He buried his face in his hooves and sobbed. "Derpy... why...," he whispered to himself. "SHE DIDN'T DESERVE TO DIE!" he wailed aloud with rage. A chunk of metal right above him made a screeching noise as it started to crack apart from the ceiling. The loud noise pulled him back to reality and he jumped up onto the wall seconds before the large metal piece crashed down on where he had just been. Without the extra weight he scaled the wall and finally made it safely to the top of the pit. His eyes blurry with tears, he saw the bright blue splotch that was the TARDIS a few yards away. The Doctor galloped with all the strength he had left and flung himself inside of it, then quickly toggled the controls and flew the box out of the exploding ship. He made it out seconds before the entire thing blew up. He rested his face on the control panel for a moment before he turned and flung open the doors. With wide eyes he stared at the fire and debris. He sighed with half-relief as he saw all of the escape pods safely piloting to the nearest space station. But the feeling of loss choked the relief out quickly. Even if she had somehow escaped the radiation core, the explosion would have killed her. The Doctor closed the doors and defeatedly went back over by the control panel. It was then that he noticed something out of the corner of his eye. He looked over at the out of place object and saw it was the basket of muffins. He pictured Derpy sitting there, happily munching on her beloved muffins. The Doctor broke down in tears again and his crying echoed throughout the room. Exhaustion eventually swept over him and he passed out.
The Doctor woke up and opened his eyes, crusted and dry from crying himself to sleep. He lost companions all the time, and after a while moved on, but never had any of them died! He could always be reassured at the thought that they were alright and happy, living the rest of their lives without him. But this time.. It was different. This feeling of loss and guilt was much greater. Derpy had been special to him, she was one of the closest companions he'd ever had. Every companion he'd known would simply take an occasional break from their life to become a part of his; he was like.. Like a side hobby to most. But Derpy, she made him a part of herlife. She was the first pony he met when he crashed in this universe; she taught him how to be a pony, she let him live in her house, she always cared for him, her daughter thought of him like a father... What would he tell Dinky? He wouldn't be able to bear the look on her face when he told her her mother was dead and it was his fault. They were like family to him. No, he decided. He wouldn't let Derpy go so easily. He thought for a few moments of some way he could get her back. Then he facehoofed. "For Celestia's sake, I'm a time traveler!" he muttered to himself. The Doctor galloped over to the console and started to toggle the controls. Then he stopped. Going backwards in my own timestream could cause a paradox... If I do this I could blow up the whole fabric of reality... he thought. But wait! There was a minute where I looked away from the pit and climbed up the wall, and when I looked back I couldn't see her anymore! Perhaps if I landed precisely at that time... his thoughts trailed off and he quickly pressed some more buttons and the TARDIS landed. He flung open the doors and caught Derpy in his arms.
"D-D-Doctor!?!" Derpy gasped and hugged him, crying tears of joy and relief. She was speechless at what had just happened. Only seconds ago she had been falling to her death.. Now here she was, safely in the TARDIS. "H-how??" she gasped, absolutely clueless as to what had just happened.
"I... I couldn't lose you, Derpy...," he explained. "Every time I take companions with me, something bad always happens to them. It seems like everywhere I go, disaster follows, and I have to save the day. But sometimes I can't save everyone, and things happen to my companions.
"Thankfully though, they've all lived and had happy lives, but they were separated from me. Rose Tyler was sucked into a parallel universe, Martha left, Donna had to forget, Amy...Amy was sucked into the past to be with her husband, and River...River sacrificed herself so I wouldn't have to; although I still saved her conscience." He started to get choked up as all of the painful memories bombarded him at once.
He swallowed and continued, "Every single companion or even most people just associated with me have been lost. I remind myself that I am a danger to those close to me, but I just, get so lonely traveling alone. What's the point of seeing everything if there's no one to see it with? Once my friends are gone I have to move on, reassuring myself that they're fine and will probably be better off without me."
The Doctor turned back to her and grasped her shoulders.
"But this time it was different... I couldn't bear it when I thought you weren't only lost to me, but gone forever. You weren't still alive and happy somewhere else, continuing on without me. And what about Dinky? What should happen to her with both of her parents gone? You two are like family to me, Derpy."
He paused as he started sobbing. Derpy stroked his hair soothingly and hugged him tight. "It's alright Doctor. I'm fine now. You saved me."
"For now... I always put my companions- my friends- in danger when I take them with me. I'm dangerous to be around, Derpy! If I hadn't looked away when you had fallen, I wouldn't have been able to go back and catch you now! I just know it will happen again; and next time I might not be able to save you. I can't let that happen Derpy!"
"I don't care about that Doctor!" Derpy argued."I know I might be in danger when I come with you on adventures, but it's all worth it! ... Getting to know you... is worth it, Doctor." She stopped hugging him and searched his eyes for any signs of understanding. He looked down at his hooves and shook his head.
"I knew you would say that. No matter what I say, you would never leave me... But I won't allow you to be put in danger again." He pulled away from her and turned towards the main console, then started fiddling with the controls.
"Doctor.. what are you going to do? You can't make me leave you! I would be so lost without you Doctor..."
He pulled a knob and the TARDIS made it's landing noise. He turned around to face her. "I know. And that's why I have to do this. I have to save you, Derpy. I'm so sorry..."
He grabbed her head and they stared into each others eyes.
"Doctor... Please don't leave me.." Derpy said as she sobbed, not knowing what would happen next. "I.. I love you Doctor..."
He paused for a minute, the words stirring up déjà vu with a similar moment from the past.
"...Goodbye, Derpy Hooves..." he said as he closed his eyes.
All of her memories of the Doctor started to fade away, every moment, every adventure... gone. Derpy collapsed in his arms unconscious. He kissed her forehead and carried her to the doors of the TARDIS; which opened to reveal a plain, scarcely decorated living room. He walked outside and gently laid her on the comfortable blue couch. An excited childish voice from upstairs her the blue box land and exclaimed, "How was your trip?!!" Dinky... the Doctor sighed.
The sound of tiny hooves raced down the stairs to greet her mother and the Doctor. She was so excited the little filly started asking questions before she turned the corner. "So how was it? I want to hear al-" She paused, seeing her mother asleep on the couch. "Doctor, what happened?"
The Doctor sat down on the couch next to the sleeping mare and motioned for Dinky to sit next to him. "Dinky... Come over here."
"Alright..." She was concerned by the sad look in his eyes and fake smile. She hopped up onto the couch next to him and sat down, waiting for an explanation.
"You know, you have an amazing mother."
"Yup!"
"And you know that you are my favorite filly in the world."
The innocent filly smiled and nodded.
"Well I don't know if I've said this before, but I just want to let you know that I love both of you with all of my hearts. And I would never want to hurt you. You two are like family to me."
"We are you're family!" she corrected happily and jumped in his lap. He smiled and continued, "Just remember that you two will always have a special place in my hearts. I wish you could understand, Dinky, why I have to do this but I'm sorry. I have to keep you two safe."
"Doctor.. What are you talking about? What are you going to do?"
"There's too much to explain... And although you're incredibly smart I wouldn't expect you to understand. I have to leave you... To keep you safe."
"L-leave, what? Where are you going? Don't leave!" she exclaimed and gazed up at him, alarmed.
"I'm so sorry Dinky, but I have to. I'll miss you two so much..."
"No, please don't leave!" She wrapped her arms around his neck in a big hug. "Don't leave us; I love you, Daddy!" His heart broke at the sound of her starting to cry and he squeezed her tight. "I love you too Dinky! That's why I have to do this!" He held her little face with his hooves and prepared to erase her memories too. "I'm so sorry..." he said and wept. In a flash, all of the filly's memories of him faded too and she collapsed in his lap, unconscious. He laid her next to her mother; who instinctively pulled her close with her damaged wing. "Goodbye..." he whispered as he stepped back into the TARDIS and left the Hooves' forever.
