The Love Of The Angels...

It’s the beginning of yet another day. I think. I don’t know anymore, and I don’t care. I stare at the ceiling for a few minutes, contemplating ifI wanted to get up or not. I sigh heavily, before moving to place my hooves on the floor. Pain shoots through me. Death may not be standing beside me at the moment, but it was near...I wonder how much longer it would be before it snatched me from the world of the living, and let me stand beside Dashie again…

It had been almost five months since she passed, dying from a fatal injury that she acquired trying to protect me from Discord. How foolish of me to believe that he had been fully reformed. I’m glad that fucking bastard is dead and rotting in the deepest pits of Tartarus. My body, my mind, nor my heart had ever recovered from her death. I’m ready for the trauma of this to pass…but I know it never will. I walk into my bathroom and look in the mirror. My eyes had sunken in from the lack of sleep. My mane had gotten scraggly and thin, so I ended up cutting most of it off. I had gotten a lot skinnier as well. I don’t know why, since I still ate. Maybe not as much as I used to, but at least enough to keep myself alive.

Although, I don’t have anything to live for, now that she’s gone.

I slowly made my way to the kitchen.  The soft ‘clack’ of my hooves and echoed throughout my cottage. No animals have lived here in a long time. Angel had lead the pack away in the middle of the night, and I never saw them again. I don’t blame them though…Death seems to take the things I love the most. My love for my animal friends was in second place compared to the love of the deceased Pegasus.

The sound of something, or somepony, knocking on my door rings through the cottage. My ears flick in annoyance. Can’t I just be left to wallow in my misery? Who could it possibly be now? I slowly make my way to the door,

“Who is it?”

I let out a small gasp of surprise. Now that I think about it, I haven’t spoken to anyone in a little over a month. My voice no longer sounded as sweet and soft as Dashie used to say it was.

“Fluttershy dear, is that you?” Rarity’s unique accent sang out. “Please open the door, I wish to see you. I wanted to see how you were doing…”

“I’m fine Rares…really.” I almost wheeze out.

“My word, you don’t even sound like yourself.” Rarity pointed out. “But even with your…unfamiliar sounding voice, I can tell that you’re lying to me.”

I choose not to respond to her, and start to turn around. Big mistake on my part.

“Fluttershy, don’t make me use my magic to do such brutish things, like RIPPING THIS DOOR OFF OF IT’S HINGES!!”

I flinch and my ear fold a little. My years of being with Dashie had helped me get over my fear of almost everything. ALMOST. Rarity’s rage was still something that I, and most other ponies, feared. I opened the door and squinted as the rays of sunlight bounced off of the bejeweled patterns on her shirt and seared my eyes. She gasped as she took in my appearance.

“Oh my stars! Fluttershy, you’re terribly thin! You look like you haven’t gotten a wink’s worth of sleep, and YOUR MANE!!! What in Equis happened to your beautiful, luscious mane?! What’s happened to you?!”

I don’t respond, but instead make my way to my couch. Geez, even my tattered wings are weighing my aching body down. Rarity could tell as she follows close behind.

“Darling, the girls and I think that you should…you should go to a hospital. We’re worried about you.”

I sigh and began to rub my temples, “Rares, please. I don’t like hospitals.”

“You have nothing to be afraid of though, dear!”

“I didn’t say I was afraid. I said I don’t like them. I’m not going.”

“Why ever not?”

I could feel the irritability bubbling up, “Didn’t you hear me? I just said it’s because I don’t like them.”

Her ears flopped down as she stared at me sympathetically, “Dear…we all miss her. As much as you d-”

I raise a finger, “Don’t you DARE say that you miss her as much as I do. I know you girls loved her. Really, I do. But I didn’t just love her. I was IN LOVE with her. It’s because of her that I am the way I am today.”

I watched her eyebrows furrow in frustration, “The way you are today?” she jumped up and stormed to the bathroom, and brought back a hand mirror, “Look at yourself, Fluttershy.”

“I already know how I look. I just looked in the mirror less than 10 minutes ago.”

She snorted, “I think the views of what you see in that mirror, and the pony I see before me are not the same.”

I refuse to look at the mirror. She sighs, and I watch her face soften a little.

“Flutters,” she says sweetly. A nickname that I haven’t heard in a while. It felt nice to hear it. “You have every right to feel the way you do right now. It’s just…” she looks down at the floor, “We are your friends. We love you and care about you. We have since we were bonded by the Elements of Harmony. To see you suffer like this pains us as well. And in case you forgot, AJ and I are your best friends. If you could see how much it’s killing AJ to hear you’re like this…” she got a determined look on her face, “If you could see how you look, and I mean REALLY look, you would get off of your ass, and come with me!”

My eyes widen at the sound of her tone. I was too weak right now to say no, and even if I wasn’t, would I have even said no? I could feel a small, barely undetectable smile on my face, as I reached up for Rarity’s hand.

My hand…why is it so heavy? And why is my vision suddenly starting to get blurry?

I blink a few times. No change. I still can’t see. I think Rarity could see the fear that was starting to appear on my face. She said something, but it was muffled jargon to my ears. Is it Death? Has it finally come to take me away? My vision starts to flicker to blackness, but not before a light blue feather dances in front of my eyes…