In the Event of Teleporting to a New World, Please Maintain Friendship, and a Sense of Sarcasm

As Corbin sped into the air, Parker in his hooves, he focused on the cloud that was his intended destination. Making a final effort, he heaved Parker up onto the cloud, pulling himself onto the cloud to catch his breath. His rest lasted only a moment when he heard the wild screams of a plummeting Parker, and looked over the edge just in time to see him not but five feet from the ground. Then, just as gravity was ready to serve up some Parker pancakes, he was quickly whisked away, a visible trail of the light spectrum the only evidence of his savior.

When Corbin lowered himself onto the streets of Ponyville, he was acutely aware of Parker's scolding.

"How dare you do that to mah sister! And after I gave you free apples!..." Parker halted her sentence with a raised hoof, "Actually, you only gave me one apple, and I was reeeeeaaally hungry"

"Consarn it! You have no right to go about doing that to ponies, it's not even funny, it's just cruel"

"What if it happens to be my" Parker shuddered "my cutie mark"? Applejack blinked somewhat confusedly "I'm sorry, what now"?

Parker pointed at his flank with conviction "See? My ass tattoo says I'm good at being a dick to people"! Corbin interrupted before the two could continue their argument "I'm terribly sorry, Applejack, how much to buy Apple Bloom a new ice cream"? Applejack sighed, giving up the argument with Parker "The ice cream only cost two bits, but to be honest the ice cream ain't what bothers me it's the... hold on a minute, do I know you"? Corbin smiled at the farm girl, not in spite, or worry, it was a nice, warm smile "Nope"! Applejack was more than a little confused (and possibly worried,I mean you just don't know, there are some creepy ponies out there) "Now hold on a minute, how do you know me and mah sister"? Corbin maintained an air about him as though the question was a fairly simple one asked to him by a four-year-old child. "I guess I just know a lot of things".

"Can I just say: DID YOU GUYS SEE HOW INCREDIBLY AWESOME I WAS BACK THERE"?!?! Rainbow Dash dove in the middle of the group only to pull up at the last minute. "He was all like 'aaaaaaaahhhhhh' and I was was like 'zzzzeeeeeoooowww' and I saved him RIGHT before he hit the ground" Parker leaned over to Corbin nonchalantly whispering "She's the lesbian, right"? Corbin pulled away, both shaking his head and rolling his eyes. Unfortunately for Corbin, THIS was the part that Rainbow Dash saw, and she quickly went to her own aid "Hey, buddy, if you think saving your friend was so easy, why didn't YOU do it"? Corbin thought for a moment, and then pieced together what he thought was an appropriate response "I didn't want to" Rainbow Dash stopped, not expecting that response, then resumed her adrenaline-induced (and maybe more than a little pride-induced) outdoor voice. "Oh yeah? So then you could have saved him if you wanted to, huh"? Corbin smiled, looking her dead in the eyes, "Faster. Than. You." It was here that our Rainbow Dash proceeded to laugh uncontrollably. Whether it was genuine entertainment or a rage-induced psychosis is up for the reader to venture and guess. Nonetheless, Corbin was only disheartened a little bit, the lack of a smile on his face the only evidence thereof, and he simply turned around and walked away. Parker, hating Corbin the least of the ponies gathered here, followed Corbin, the two talking about something about gold, or perhaps the stock-markets (the duo were, to be sure, an interesting pair). When Rainbow Dash saw that her new mortal enemy had just taken up to leaving her awesome presence, she decided she would follow them, actively insulting both. She said some awfully rude things I'm sure, but our heroes had heard worse (for they were from a terrifying land called Michigan! Never heard of it? The maybe you've heard of Detroit! Yeah, they were like an hours drive away, though I guess Parker was A: from Florida and B: French-Canadian, but Corbin was born and raised, brotha) and endured Rainbow Dash's ridicule, paying her almost no mind. Rainbow Dash grew furious, stopping her self in front of them, wings spread so as to block the possibility of the two just walking around "Fine! You say your so fast? Then how about we race on it?! Winner is the fastest pony in Equestria". Corbin looked at Parker, waiting for him to respond. Parker, being helpful as he was, simply shrugged as though someone was asking whether he wanted Dr. Pepper or Mountain Dew. Corbin looked at Rainbow Dash and answered gracefully "You see, the thing is. I'm more of an endurance guy, and, like, sometimes I can put on a burst of speed, but then I've got to catch my breath. So, I mean, we can race but, like, I'm not saying I'll win" Rainbow Dash stared at him for a minute. Then burst, once again, into an uncontrollable laughter, not recovering till well after the two were out of her line of sight.

"So," Parker started, hoping Corbin would just forget that all that had been caused by who he figured was by far the greatest intellect of this world "what are you gonna do for a job"? Corbin scratched his chin with his right hoof pondering the question before actually answering. "Well, I figured I could get a job in weather stability here in Ponyville. Clearly that's not gonna work out. So I'm fresh out, you got any ideas"? Parker just yawned, clearly exhausted from the eventful havoc he'd antagonized. "Why don't you just do some prostitution work so that we can get some money for somewhere to sleep tonight"? Parker stopped himself "Or you could just sweep someone's house like the little bitch that you are". Corbin sighed, also tired but less willing to bounce insults back and forth with Parker just yet. "No there will be no prostitution, I don't even know if they do that here. But I do have an idea that will get us a room for the night..." Parker smiled mischievously "...legally" Parker removed his grin, and followed Corbin away into the market of Ponyville.