In the Event of Teleporting to a New World, Please Maintain Friendship, and a Sense of Sarcasm

"Look, I just don't see why I have to come with you" Parker put his hoof to his mouth and took a bite out of the apple he was eating. "I mean, ponies are your thing, why should I care if I fuck it up"? Corbin sighed looking at Parker, about to say something when he noticed the apple. "Where'd you get that"? "At the apple cart over there" Parker simply pointed in the direction he referenced.

"Okay, how'd you get it"?

"I asked for it"

"Without any bits"?

Parker just laughed "Oh right, that! Yeah, I went up to the orange horse, showed her how skinny I was and she, taking me for starving, gave me a free apple" Corbin looked distraught for a minute, then shook himself from it "Okay, fine, just, what else did you do when I left you alone for five minutes"? Parker threw the apple over his shoulder and put a hoof to his chin, sitting down "Well, let's see, after enduring some unfavorable comments from the orange horse about my mane and tail, or lack thereof, I decided I was bored and wanted to be not-bored" Corbin placed a hoof on his face and let out a long sigh "So you did what"? Parker smiled, continuing "Well, so I went up to the little ginger yellow hor... er, pony. She was eating ice-cream and I thought 'How can I fuck this up'? So, I took up some dirt, and when she wasn't looking I sprinkled the dirt on her ice cream. When she turned around I commented something about how I like chocolate sprinkles, too. Then, as I was walking away, I got an ass mark." Corbin just stared at Parker. "Hold on. A few things. First, I think that's the longest I've ever heard you speak without directly insulting me..."

"Shut up you homosexual imbecile"

"...secondly, you're telling me you met, stole from, and ruined a treat of the apple family all on the same day..."

"It's been a productive day"

"...and to top it all off, you got your cutie mark already"? Parker flinched at hearing the word "Ugh, soooo gaaaaaaay" Corbin rolled his eyes as he walked around to look at Parker's emblazoned flank. Yup, it seemed about right. Parker's cutie mark was perfect for him. It was the image of a balloon about to be popped by a needle. Corbin looked at Parker "I couldn't have come up with something better for you myself" Parker just threw his head back in utter boredom "Oh God, whatever, can we just do something not-gay"? Corbin smiled "How about coming up with your pony name"?

"NO, I said 'not-gay', remember"?

"Look Parker, we have human names, and that will just not do. Pony names are complicated. I hypothesize that ponies have a magical glimpse into their child's future upon the child's birth allowing them to name them accordingly, so, since we are not pony-born, we don't have that advantage of getting to know our special talents beforehand, or rather beforehoof, but YOU do have your special talent. So, what do you want to be called"?

"Can I be called 'Parker'"

"Pranky Pie it is"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, it's not even original"!

"How do you know that"?

"My cousin forced me to watch it, remember"?

"Oh, yeah"

The two just sat there, not wanting to revive the dead conversation. It was then that Parker saw the effects of his actions (though whether he regretted them or not is debatable). There, charging straight towards him, was the country hick, he knew, and he could tell she was NOT happy. "So, Corbin, how are you at running"? Corbin looked over absentmindedly "I run pretty well, why"?

"Because we should run, like, right now"! Corbin observed the charging Applejack and quickly snapped to attention "Okay, so you are not going to outrun her, but, umm, what if, uh, YOU'LL THANK ME LATER"!!!

"WAIT, WHAT THE FUUUuuuuck"!?!?

And with that Corbin grabbed Parker and flew up into the air to the nearest cloud, all the while Applejack yelling at the duo.