Pipsqueak: The most gentlecoltly anarchist pirate ever

(A/N: What what? Two in one day? What madness is this?)

Pipsqueak cleared his throat.

"Bayam pam pam Bayam pam pam Bayam pam pam Barayambam" He began, the band just chuckled and followed his lead. Soon enough they were doing accapella.

"Oh wait! Wrong version! Nantes ponies! Nantes!" He said, the group began laughing.

Pipsqueak again cleared his throat.

"This is for our fair matron! Yeah i'm talkin' bout you up there girl!" He shouted pointing at Celestia, who mere raised a half questioning eyebrow.

The Accordion started them off

Pipsqueak tapped along to the beat. And when he sang, he surprised everypony...even more so.

"Well it's been a long time, long time now."

"Since I've seen you smile, eeile! And i'l gamble away my fright."

"And I'll gamble away, my time."

"And in a year, a year or so."

"This will slip into, the sea!"

"Well it's been a long time, long time now"

"Since i've seen you smile, eeile!"

He turned to the conglomerate behind him. "C'mon you scoundrels! Louder! More feeling!" He began to pseudo dictate like a maestro.

Celestia found herself swaying and smiling as the rag-tag bunch of loons played their hearts out. the attendees must have liked it too since they weren't rioting or throwing temper-tantrums.

"Nobody raise your voices! Just another night in Nantes! Nobody raise your voices! Just another night in Nantes!"

All of a sudden the sound of glass breaking brought Celestia out of her trance. In voices fit for gramophones, she heard the two couples arguing in Prench.

The gang onstage must not have known what was going on either because they started looking around.

"Ehe, ladies and gents, we might be experiencing some difficulties. Please excuse me for a second." He zoomed off stage, one hoof clutching his hat in fear of it flying off.

After a couple minutes, as well as a hodgepodge of ridiculous sounds including that of a rubber ducky, he came back covered in sweat.

"All done! Resume!" He boomed, and once again they all played in unison, drawing pretty much everypony there into a masterfully induced trance.

Sadly however, it sounded like they were rapping up as the music became drastically softer.

"Well it's been a long time, long time now. Since I've seen you smile! Aayle! And i'll gamble away my fright, and I'll gamble away, my time!"

A couple stallions had joined Pipsqueak in singing and the trio were now balancing out the three different octaves.

"And in a year, a year or so. This will slip into the sea! But it's been a long time, long time now! Since I've seen you smile! Aaeyle!"

As the band closed down, Pipsqueak lowered his hat until it was covering his chest. And to Celestia's great surprise and joy, the auditorium erupted in cheers and applause.

Good show mate!

Absolutely beautiful!

....Must....make...FASHION MODEL!

....I think I had an eargasm!

WHY HAVE I NEVER HEARD THESE PONIES BEFORE?!?

And so forth. Well, until the Prench and Gerpony guards showed up.

HALT! YOU ARE TRESSPAZING!

The large imposing Gerpony guard shouted.

There was audible silence.

"........Oh bugger."

~~~~~~~

What happened next, was nothing short of chaos.

"Saddle up gang we've overstayed our welcome!" Shouted Pipsqueak running offstage. The gang soon followed.

"Alright! All able bodied men and women run for your freedom! Those who can't, GO DOWN WITH A FIGHT! DEFEND YOUR HONOR AS A PIRATE!" He shouted maniacally.

Celestia heard the frightened and exasperated voice of a male stallion, most likely just out of puberty shout.

"ARE YOU INSANE?!?"

Pipsqueak looked at him with the craziest grin ever, his tattered hat, much akin to the Mad Hatter's flowing in the non-existant breeze as he swept about the room.

"That would depend upon your point of inquiry, now say if I was insane then would I do this?" He asked while walking over to a mare and up-skiritn her. Since ponies don't generally wear clothing, it was mostly much-a-do about nothing. But the sentiment still took effect. She shrieked and fainted into his hooves. He just gave her a queer look, a mixture of surprised and bewildered and dropped her.

"Well..I guess that explains it!" He shouted as he leapt into the air, just barely avoiding a guard who had charged from his backside.

Celestia however, had noticed something, the ragged looking group of pirates that had accompanied Pipsqueak had all but left, save for a single female mare doing combat with a guard. She was average height with a blonde mane and an orange coat.

Suddenly she heard shouting form a window adjacent to her.

"Sir! We've evacuated everypony! Meet us back at the ship if you get back alive!" And she looked to find a black stallion with a curly afro mane jumping out a side window, she guessed him to be the messenger.

Suddenly the single mare collapsed as the larger Gerpony guard knocked her upside the head. Celestia heard an audible gasp, and before she knew it, Pipsqueak was there, leaping from out of nowhere as he blocked the encrouchment of a group of 6 guards.

"HALT YE HEATHENS! YOU CALL YOURSELVES STALLIONS YET YOU DARE LAY HANDS ON A LADY! FOR SHAME!" He boomed. The group stopped their advancement for a moment, Celestia watched this play of sorts from her skybox, away from the pandemonium.

"You vere the ones who started it Dunkoff!" Said the big grey stallion, he was only about a centimeter taller than Pipsqueak, but he was a lot more menacing.

Pipsqueak seemed to mull this over for a minute.

"......Ah. You are correct my good man! And as the provocateur I am most ashamed of my actions and humbly ask of you my forgiveness. What's say we put this all behind us and move on with our lives ey?" He asked, the larger stallion guffawed, sending the rest of the guards into fits of laughter.

"You, you must be dreaming mein freund." The guard whipped away a tear, when he looked back, he saw the female pirate scrambling out a window, Pipsqueak below her giving her a boost.

This sent him into a fit of rage as he screamed and hollered "WHAT ARE YOU IDIOTS WAITING FOR?!? AN INVITATION? AFTER THEM!" He shouted, snapping the guards back to attention as they raced at the now alone Pipsqueak.

"Ah. Much better, now it's just the two- oh scratch that, now it's just the legion of us." Replied Pipsqueak calmly as he turned around to face the roughly 40 highly trained soldiers who were all pointing ceremonial cutlasses and rapiers at him since actual weapons weren't allowed during ceremonies such as this.

"Any last words?" Sneered the guard.

Pipsqueak didn't reply. Instead he merely took off his top hat, reached into it, and threw down a smoke bomb.

"As much as I would like to stay and chat, I have business to attend to and a slight spar will delay me. Farewell gentlemen, it's been fun." Pipsqueak's phantom voice resounded off the halls. Celestia smiled, he had done it again. The master gentlecolt had done it again.

She thought that....until she as well as the now recovering guards saw his hindquarters as he finished climbing a particularly high window.

"Haha! And so I leave you tonight.....again.....in....shock...and....oh boy." He tapered off as he saw that the smoke bomb had dispersed, leaving all eyes clear...and focused on him.

"I vill give you 10 seconds to run before I personally bulldoze your corpse." Said the head Gerpony guard, steam coming out of his nostrils as he pawed the ground. Pipsqueak swallowed audibly.

"...I guess this means I can't bribe you with a Sauerkraut?" That set all the guards off, they charged.

"Oh, I guess not then...oh boy! AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!" He shouted as he jumped backwards into the night.

Celestia only chuckled slightly as the spectacle finally finished. She got up and left secretly from the skybox as the head Gerpony guard fumed and raged at all the others, sending some cowering into corners.

After a short walk she came to the adjoined bedroom in which both she and her sister resided. On a bed horizontal to the door, Luna rubbed her eyes, awakened from her slumber by the sounds of disaster coming from the Solaris hall.

"Sister....what was that? Did anything happen at the Galla this year?" She asked, her voice laced with sleep. Celestia only chuckled.

"This year's Galla was a hoot alright." She said slipping into her bed horizontal of her sisters.

"Did Pipsqueak show up?" Luna asked again, Celestia saw her form shift as she laid back down.

"Yes, yes it did. And he was the hoot!" She exclaimed giggling loudly, soon she was joined by her sister.

After a couple minutes, Luna eventually yawned again and said her goodnights, leaving Celestia as the sole inhabitant of the land of reality.

Celestia however was thinking.

"My how he's changed since his foalhood." She reminisced.

After a couple minutes, she too nodded off, her day coming to a close.

I cannot however, say that Pipsqueak's day was over. No, his eventful had just begun.

(A/N: And so continues our Jack Sparrow esque adventures!)