An Ounce of Hate

Chapter 4

The blue Unicorn colt dashed through the paved streets of his village, older ponies running about in a panic. He narrowly avoided being trampled by a large armored stallion- an Earth pony, who spared him a shouted apology over his shoulder before sprinting away.

The young Unicorn wove around and between the legs of his elders, beneath their notice. He wasn’t theirs, so why should they care, when so many had children of their own about? The ringing of bells filled the air, their deep resounding booms deafening.  Doors to stone and wood houses slammed shut up and down the crowded streets, as ponies hid within to wait out the passing chaos.

The colt took a right turn, weaving around bigger ponies, then a left. The crowds thinned, as the ponies living nearby were already in their houses. That must have been the explanation. Off to his right, a growing cloud of smoke filled the sky. He paused to watch the cloud. Light flickered beneath it, coloring the underside with red and orange, though occasionally a burst of blue, yellow, and purple flared. The colt hesitated, torn between watching more and hurrying home, but his father’s voice rang in his head.

He turned, trotting down the street. He stopped before a squat, one story house. Its neighbors were two stories, the first floor made of stone, while the second was wood. His house was made all of wood, though a stone chimney poked up from the right corner furthest from the street. He nudged the door open, stepping into the cool darkness of the house, and pushed it shut. With clumsy steps, he moved to the center of the sparsely decorated living room, sitting down with a thud.

He listened to the commotion outside: shouts and screams, as well as stranger sounds he couldn’t identify. The windows were covered with shutters, but occasional bursts of light filtered through the cracks. The young Unicorn eventually lowered his head down, resting it on his forelegs. Time wore on, and the sounds outside would rise in crescendo, only to simmer down to a dull roar. He yawned, his young body tired from the excitement, his health already poor and constitution nonexistent. His eyelids were drooping when the door slammed open. He jumped up, wide awake, and screamed.

“Why didn’t you lock the door?” Sunny demanded, breathing heavily. The colt had never seen his father in such a state: he wore steel armor with a matching helmet, his yellow mane beneath disheveled and tangled, and faint traces of soot marred his armor. The yellow Unicorn stumbled inside, something red dripping from his side.

“I forgot,” the colt whispered, tears welling up in his eyes.

Sunny looked ready to say more, but the guard Unicorn from earlier pushed his way inside. “We’ve got no time to stand around,” he barked, giving Sunny a meaningful look. His voice softened as he looked at the small colt. “We need to get going. The fire’s spreading rapidly.”

“Fire?” the small Unicorn squeaked, but his father growled suddenly.

“Come on.” Sunny scowled at him, stumbling back outside. The Unicorn guard jerked his head toward the door and the colt obediently followed.

The two older Unicorns walked ahead of him. They spoke in low voices, but the colt could still hear them. “When did that happen? It isn’t serious, is it?” the guard muttered, indicating Sunny’s side.

“Shove off, Flare,” Sunny said with a scowl. “It’s a nick, nothing more. What happened to Stem?”

Flare shook his head sadly. “He cut down two before they ripped into him. He distracted them long enough for the others to escape.”

Sunny angrily shook his head. “Fool.” Though his response was one of anger, his voice was full of sorrow. “Where are we headed?”

“The evacuation is to the south. Suth’s Meadow was the agreed fall back point. Their walls are thicker than ours, and have already gotten our reports. They said they’ll send a few squads to help evacuate, but also said not to expect anything against so many.”

Smoke was blowing through the street now, and the colt noticed some buildings burned. Flare took note of his observations and gave him a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, we’re going somewhere nice.”

Sunny tossed his head in annoyance. He started to say something when suddenly he jerked his head to the side. “Flare,” he urged, his voice tense.

The other Unicorn quickly followed his gaze and tensed up. He lowered his head slightly, and set his hooves apart, looking ready to charge. Out of the smoke three ponies shambled, their steps slow and clumsy.

“Who are they?” the colt blurted. The three ponies’ movement was stiff, something strangely unnatural about them. As the smoke cleared, he could pick out some details. Two were Earth ponies, their coats dirty and manes tangled, matted with something. The third was a Pegasus, he could tell, but when it spread its wings… he gasped in horror. They were shredded and broken in several places.

Sunny spared him a look, but directed his words to Flare. “They sent some of their servants ahead of them then.”

Flare nodded, stepping forward. “Go, I’ll hold them off.”

“No.” Sunny glared at the other Unicorn and stumbled ahead of him. “I’ll keep them occupied.”

“What?” Flare scowled at him now. “He’s your son! Don’t you see I’m trying to—“

“It’s a bite!” Sunny roared, rounding on the other Unicorn. “If I don’t bleed out, the infection will get me. I’m already gone.” Tears glittered in his eyes as he stepped toward Flare. “Just get him out of here, keep him safe.”

Flare fell silent, looking Sunny up and down. Finally, he sighed. “Just promise me one thing.” His voice was thick, choked with unshed tears. “When you see my sister, tell her I love her. And that her son will be fine.”

Sunny nodded stiffly. His horn glowed brightly as he slowly walked toward the trio of ponies. He gave Flare a backwards glance. “You were a good friend. Better than I deserved. Thank you.” He paused in his approach, giving the colt a long look. “I may have been hard on you, but…” Tears flowed freely from his eyes. “I love you. I always have. And I’m proud of you. Please remember that. I never hated you, never think that.”

The colt’s face scrunched up in confusion. “I know, dad,” he said uncertainly. “I love you too. I’ll see you later.”

Sunny gave him a sad smile and shook his head. “Not this time,” he mumbled, before turning away.

“Let’s go,” Flare said abruptly, hurrying behind the colt and giving him a push. “Hurry.” The colt gave him an uncertain look as he began walking. “No, go. Run!” The older Unicorn urged, sending him running.

The colt scrambled away as quickly as his short legs could carry him, off into the thickening smoke, the older Unicorn following closely. Both their blue coats were streaked with sweat and soot, as ash choked the air.

I awoke with a start, trembling violently. My mouth was dry and my body was wet and clammy. Something was wrapped around me and I twisted, trying to pull free of whatever I was tangled in.

“Wha- Dusken!” A voice cried. “It’s me!” I stopped my squirming and looked up. Rainbow Dash’s face was a few inches from mine, her brows furrowed. “Relax,” she said.

I realized it was her forelegs that had restrained me, though the blanket I was in was now twisted around my hind legs. “Sorry,” I rasped, throat dry. “I just, uh…”

Rainbow Dash was blinking tiredly when she suddenly glared down at me. “Ugh, what? You’re soaking wet! Is that sweat? Gross!” She started to push me away, but stopped. She pressed a hoof to my forehead and her scowl turned to a gasp. “You’re burning up.” My response was cut off as she wriggled away, jumping out of the bed. The bed we had shared, I realized with a blush.

She flitted over to the balcony door, pulling the makeshift curtain- made up of my now dry cloak, down. Sunlight streamed in, though I could already tell it was day from the other windows of the room. But she looked at the forest, as well as up at the clear sky. It must have been late in the morning, nearing noon, judging by the light.

“Can you unlock the downstairs door from here?” she asked, still peering around outside.

“Yes.” My throat hurt so much, talking was a trial. “I can reach it.”

“Good.” She looked around outside for a few more seconds before turning to me. “I’m getting help. You’re sick, and I have no idea what to do.” I opened my mouth to speak, but she waved me quiet. “Don’t worry; I’ll be right back with some help. I’m locking the door behind me, so I’m taking the key with. Don’t lock me out with magic.” She gave me a firm look and darted down the stairs.

I reached out with my magic, through the floor, through the library, and down to the first story door. It was like untying a tight knot; after I pulled the first stubborn strand of magic loose, the rest followed easily. I grumbled wordlessly to myself and shifted in bed, head pounding.

“Be right back!” Rainbow’s voice drifted up the stairs. I heard the faint click of the front door’s lock, and then the door opened and slammed shut in rapid succession. After a moment, I heard the lock click once more, and silence reigned.

Even though I was sweating profusely under the blankets, I still shivered. It must have been the fever, which Rainbow said I had. And judging from the way my head throbbed, my body shivered, and throat hurt, she was right. I curled up under the blanket but couldn’t find sleep. I was parched; my tongue felt like it was made of sandpaper. I needed water now.

Shrugging the blanket off, I took a tentative step off the bed. My head spun, my vision blurred, and my leg shook, but I could stand. My hooves were caked with dried mud, as were portions of the bed and blanket. I was surprised when I found mud on my side and chest. I didn’t recall falling in mud last night. Rainbow Dash had helped get me back to my home, I remembered. If it weren’t for her, I might still be out there.

Suddenly it dawned on me, and with that realization, another blush. Rainbow’s hooves must have smeared mud on me. I recalled she had stood next to me in the field, so she likely got mud on her as well. But I paid no more heed to the mud. I was in no condition to try and take a bath. I was just as like to drown myself as I was to actually wash properly. And even if I did, I was still in no condition to work a drying spell, so I’d stand there; soaking wet, and only end up making myself sicker. I was sure there were towels around here somewhere, but I wasn’t about to start searching for them. Come to think of it, I didn’t even know where Fluttershy had put my bandages and salve.

I forced the thoughts of bathing out of my head as well. My mind was wandering. Slowly, I made my way into the bathroom. I turned on the faucet and, the sink thankfully being big enough, put my head under the water stream. I gratefully swallowed the water, cool from sitting in the pipes, and soaked my mane and face. It was pure bliss against my hot skin. I contemplated just standing there, head under the flowing water, but my body still ached and shivered, and there was something I needed to do.

With some regret, I pulled my head away from the lovely water, turning the faucet off as I did, and shook my head. It drove a spike of pain into my skull, but dried me a little, as well as got my mane out of my eyes. In my endless cycle, I wondered about getting it cut, but put it off for another day, to in turn put it off for yet another day.

As water trickled down my face and onto the floor, I shuffled across my room, pausing at the top of the stairs. I hesitantly put a shaking hoof on the next step down, and my other hoof on the step beneath that. My right hind leg flared with pain, the muscles bruised and stiff, but I succeeded in not tumbling down the stairs and breaking my neck. My destination was only the next floor down, so there weren’t too many stairs. I looked about the library, temporarily losing track of what I had been planning on doing, before I remembered. I need to write a letter, I thought firmly. Despite having taken residence in the tower, my short stay in Ponyville had left me little time to get familiar with my new home.

Shifting my gaze along book shelves, I frowned. Maybe I had been wrong. I thought I had glimpsed something yesterday, but… no, I had been right. Beneath the stairs leading to my room sat a desk with two drawers on its right side. I made my way over and slid the top drawer open. It contained quills and ink pots; a promising start, but I still needed paper. I levitated a quill and bottle out, setting them on the desk with loving care. My hopes were rewarded when I found the parchment in the lower drawer. Ribbons lay next to the neatly stacked papers, so I took both, a sheet of paper and a blue ribbon out, and lay them on the desk as well.

I gingerly pulled the ink pot’s stopper out with magic and, after ensuring my writing utensil was sharp, dipped a quill in the black ink within. I levitated the quill over the parchment and paused, gathering my thoughts. After some consideration, I began scratching out my letter in a lazy, looping scrawl.

Princesses Celestia and Luna,

Forgive my lack of a report yesterday or the day before. I’ve been busy, admittedly, with mostly unimportant matters. It’s only my third day here, yet I’ve come down with an illness of sorts. It leaves me weak and barely able to perform magic. I’ll likely be staying in my tower for a time, but a Pegasus named Rainbow Dash, a friend of your student Twilight Sparkle, has left to fetch some sort of aid. I’m assuming she’s getting a doctor, as I’m writing moments after she left. So far, I’ve given Twilight a book to read to aid her in her magical studies, and two spells to practice, of my own design. Neither are any more dangerous than a new spell using normal magic would be, as I’ve decided to put off lessons in dark magic for a time. She might get a few bumps if she messes around with the shield spell I gave her, but I think she’ll be able to figure it out faster than I could. I recall she has an assistant, Spike, a baby dragon from her entrance exam. She’ll probably pelt him with a few apples before figuring out the flaw I left in the spell. Or at least I hope she does, or Spike may have a few more lumps than he’s used to.

Anecdotes aside, I have news of grave importance. I spoke with Viker last night. It was in the middle of a storm, which may be the cause of my current illness, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she was actually the cause of this. She was always a far more capable, and much more subtle, spell caster than I. She told me the Shades don’t know of my presence in Ponyville- yet, and I cannot stress that word enough. She made it clear they had not forgotten me and would likely hunt me down at the first opportunity they got. To be honest, the storm could have been caused by some spell of theirs as well, since it seemed to take the ponies of this village by surprise, but I may be jumping at shadows.

Right, anyway, she knows I’m in Ponyville now. Or she confirmed it at least. I think she somehow knew already. Through magic or palace spies, I can’t be sure. Was my departure well known? She advised me to leave immediately, which in retrospect makes me doubt she’s the cause of my current state. I think she’s keeping my location hidden from the other Shades, for reasons all her own. I never could understand her motives for anything, but it’s a safe bet they’re all sinister. But I’ve also known her to be moody and petty at times, so as long as she knows my location, and the Shades are eager to find me, my life is in danger, all on her whim.

But I am not worried for my own life, rather that of your student. Should they discover I have any ties to her, she may come to serious harm. I’m aware that you knew there were dangers inherently involved with teaching her dark magic, as well as dealing with an Element of Chaos, but this is beyond the scope of danger I anticipated. I had hoped to maintain the advantage of surprise on the Shades, but with that gone, everything changes. My very presence puts her life in danger, as well as her friends, potentially even all of Ponyville. I don’t know how desperate they are to find me, but they were eager last time. If you wish, I will return to Canterlot immediately. Viker seemed content to warn me, so she’d probably drop the issue if I was gone, and leave the ponies I associated with alone. But to be honest, I’d rather remain here. So long as Viker doesn’t tell her followers of me, I’m far more dangerous to them than they are to me or the others. I want to see this through, once and for all, but I’m willing to leave if you order me to. I’ll await your response eagerly.

With regards,

Your loyal Court Wizard,

Dusken Spellwroth

P.S. Give Captain Silverwing my regards as well, but tell him nothing of my situation. He means well, but can be overbearing, and I fear his interference may further derail the situation.

I read over my letter, nodding to myself, and gently blew on it. I had to dry the ink before rolling it up, and I didn’t trust using my magic to dry it. My head pounded and mind wandered, so I may very well need every last drop of energy to send the letter. The tower didn’t have a mailbox, I don’t think, and I was neither willing to check for one, nor willing to wait for delivery. This letter was important. Depending on the answer, it could result in my staying or immediate departure, as well as the endangerment of Ponyville or its temporary safety. And perhaps its long term survival as well.

The ink suitably dry, I rolled the letter and tied a ribbon around it, keeping it neatly rolled. Then I levitated it before me and took a deep breath. Licking my lips, I concentrated, picturing Princess Celestia. Her image locked in my mind’s eye, I channeled energy into the letter, willing it to a different location. There was a bright flash, causing me to shut my eyes, and when I opened them, the letter was gone. And with its departure, blinding pain shot through my head. I gasped, leaning against the desk to remain upright, and tried to keep steady. Now I could tell I really was in no condition to work magic. I hoped it was successfully sent and I hadn’t just accidentally incinerated it in my current, magically inept state. I couldn’t smell burnt paper, so the odds were good it was teleported and not destroyed.

My letter sent, I made my slow way back up the stairs. Halfway up a wave of nausea struck, forcing me to cling to the wall as the room swam before my eyes. By the time I made it up, I was short of breath, my legs tired, but I was satisfied. The Princesses knew what was going on now and I didn’t need to make any major decisions. I shuffled across my room, returning to my mud spattered bed, and gratefully sank into it. I felt disconnected, as if I floated outside of my own body. It felt like it was a different stallion that shivered and pulled a dirty blanket around himself. My fever must be the cause of this sensation, I decided.

My right eye itched, so I slid the glass up, rubbing my eye with a hoof. Having nothing covering my eye felt strange, without it constantly chafing the skin around my socket, and I wondered if someday I would ever be rid of the cursed thing. Sometime soon, I’d need to get some sort of covering for it. My other lens had silk wrapped around the edges, I recalled. It sat on the nightstand, next to the now burnt out candle Rainbow Dash had found last night. I levitated it over, letting it drop to the bed when my head began to pound, and slid the other glass’s straps off over my head.

I stretched a hoof out for the second glass, pushing the other glass off to the side, and sighed. My eyelids felt heavy and my body tired. Exhaling into the mattress, I let my foreleg drop, a few inches short of the other glass. With a yawn, I closed my eyes. I just needed to rest them for a moment. I felt detached again and drifted off to sleep.

“Listen to me,” Flare rasped. He hooked a hoof around the small blue colt’s neck and pulled him closer. “Listen.” His voice was harsh and ragged as he shook the younger Unicorn. Each time he took a breath, blood bubbled out of the hole in his side. “Make for the south gate when I stand up.”

The pair huddled behind an overturned cart. Around them, the village burned. Choking smoke filled the air, but beneath the muffling cloud and ever present crackling of fire, shrieks rang out. Not all of them sounded like they came from ponies. Flare lay on the street, a slowly growing puddle of blood forming beneath him. The colt looked at him with fear filled eyes and nodded. Flare gave the colt a pained smile and ground his teeth.

“Good.” He climbed to his hooves, horn glowing a bright green. “Now go, run! The south gate!” He rose to his full height, looking over the cart. As soon as he stood, he fired a beam of light into the swirling smoke. Something shrieked in the choking screen.

The colt bolted, his small hooves pounding the ground, carrying him as quickly as they could. The smoke caused his eyes to water and made his throat feel raw, but he pushed himself. Flare gave a sudden, wordless cry behind him. As the colt turned his head to look, he tripped, face slamming into the cobblestone. Tears ran down his cheeks now and his nose hurt badly, something warm now trickling out of his nostrils. Flare was screaming now and the colt buried his head under his hooves. His horn glowed weakly as he tried to gather his strength for whatever followed him.

Suddenly, all was quiet. Flare was silent. Ahead, a pony trotted through the smoke. His eyes widened in fear as the figure got closer. Its coat was black, the flesh split and cracked beneath. An obsidian black horn, bent and crooked, gleamed wickedly in the flickering light. Its eyes were two spheres of fire.

It stopped short of the cowering Unicorn, who wet himself, now shaking uncontrollably. What stood before him was nightmare made flesh; stories told to frighten him- a Shade.

The Shade grinned, revealing jagged fangs. “Aren’t you a small morsel?” It crooned in an unnaturally deep voice. “Don’t worry little one, your suffering is nearly at an end.” It chuckled, advancing slowly. Drool trickled out of its horrible maw.

The colt screwed his eyes shut and his horn flared briefly. Now his lessons came back to him. A thin bar of white light shot from his horn, slamming into the Shade’s chest. Its coat ignited around the area struck as the sounds of sizzling flesh filled the air. The Shade stumbled back, howling in pain. That sound turned to one of outrage at the fact such a puny Unicorn sought to hurt it.

The creature narrowed its burning gaze, mouth twisted in a savage snarl, made all the more terrifying with its chipped fangs. “I will rip you in two!” he roared. “I was content with giving you a swift death, but now?! Now, you—“

“Malken, enough.” A dry voice came from behind the colt. He jerked his head back to look at the new pony, filled with hopes of being saved. They were promptly dashed when the speaker revealed itself to be another Shade. It appeared smaller than the other Shade, slight, but whereas the other Shade had red eyes, this one had blue. It appeared feminine, compared to the other monstrosity.

“This runt sought to harm me!” The other Shade, Malken, bellowed. “Do not deny me my vengeance!”

The blue-eyed Shade chuckled, showing her own fangs. “Leave him. We need replacements anyway. His protector killed Ulok, so right there, we’re short one. We may lose more before this is through.”

The colt looked up, eyes streaming. “Flare?!” He gasped.

The female Shade grinned evilly, leaning down toward him. “Dead,” she hissed. “Just like every other pony you knew.”

As the colt whimpered, Malken snorted. “You think he could replace Ulok?”

“Probably.” The other Shade gave a shrug. She continued to gaze at the small Unicorn. “Tell me, do you want to live?” The terrified colt nodded, lips trembling. “Then there’s your answer.” She declared to Malken. The larger Shade shook his head, but made no more protests. She looked back to the Unicorn at her feet and frowned. “What is your name?”

The colt whimpered. “I… m-my name is…” He stammered, throat constricted with fear.

Malken snorted again, but the blue-eyed Shade chuckled. “Then let’s put it this way. I’m Viker Spellwroth, and you are now Dusken. It is because of me, you are spared. As such, you owe me your life. I own you.” Viker grinned cruelly. “Now get up. We have to go.”

“No!” I croaked, kicking as I awoke. I was still in the tower, in my room. “Flare…” I murmured quietly. I hadn’t had that dream in a long time. I looked about my empty room and frowned. My right eye was covered by a glass lens; the second lens, judging by its silk covered edges. I didn’t recall putting it on.

Sunlight still streamed in from the windows, but it was a dying light now. It was later in the afternoon, if I had to guess. I rubbed at the lens over my eye and frowned worriedly. Had Dash already come back, with whatever help she saw fit to bring? I expected I would have been woken up if that was so. But just then, a terrible thought crossed my mind. What if Viker had waited outside? What if she ambushed Rainbow Dash when she left? I distinctly recalled Viker enjoyed messing with and tormenting me, so what if then she had come into the tower while I slept, and did something? What if she put the lens over my eye, just because she knew I would worry about it? It seemed foolish, but I had already established she was a bizarre Shade given to strange acts.

But my thoughts returned to Rainbow Dash. I fervently hoped she was okay. I struggled to my hooves, my head pounding worse than before, and was just about to ease myself out of bed when a voice came from the stairs.

“Oh, um, could you please not do that?” I recognized the timid voice and a quick glance confirmed it. Fluttershy hovered at the top of the stairs, watching me with concern. With her right foreleg, she carried a bundle to her chest, while in her left, she gripped a glass of water with her ankle. “No no, just, um, lay down please. Don’t move around so much.” She quickly flapped over, dumping the bundle at the foot of my bed and set the glass down on the nightstand.

I hesitated, but eventually obliged. If she was here, Dash must have made it into town safely and told her friends. Or so I assumed, since it appeared Fluttershy was here to see me through my cold, and not a trained doctor. Dash would have had to have unlocked the door besides, and the locking spell was still in place on the balcony door. Once I was settled back into bed, the yellow Pegasus slid the blanket over me- I’m sick, not helpless, I thought, annoyed, but kept silent. I rubbed at my lens instead. “How did this get on?”

She blushed as she explained. “Rainbow happened to run into me on her way to town and told me you were sick. My cottage is only a short way from here, so after I got some things, I came back here before anypony else. I saw you asleep without it and, um, didn’t think you’d want anypony to s-see your eye, so I put it on you while you slept.”

The thought of being touched in my sleep, even by a pony that meant me no ill will, made me frown. I was sleeping heavier, it seemed. Now the thought of Viker slipping in as I slept seemed all the more real and terrifying. Hiding my discomfort, I nodded. “Well, ah, thank you then. I’d like as few ponies as possible to see my, er, eye.”

She frowned, looking down at my legs beneath the blanket. “I wanted to change your bandages too, but, um… I didn’t think you’d like that.”

“You’re right,” I said dryly. “I wouldn’t have. I’d appreciate my gauze roll and salve, plus some time to myself, if you’d be so kind. I really should have changed them earlier, but I have no idea where you put them.”

Fluttershy winced, giving me an apologetic smile. “Oh, sorry. I put them in your bathroom’s medicine cabinet.”

“Medicine cabinet?” I cast a look to the bathroom door. “I didn’t even know it had a medicine cabinet.”

She chuckled quietly, fluttering to the bathroom and shortly emerging with my wraps and jar, which she dumped on the bed next to me. She frowned at me again though, and I suppressed a sigh. “Twilight said a Unicorn in your condition shouldn’t be using too much magic. When she was here, she told me to make sure you didn’t try to work any spells, because they could go wrong.”

Twilight had been here? How many more ponies were going to wander around my house without my knowledge before a Shade decided to show up and kill me in my sleep? Pushing that thought aside, I returned Fluttershy’s frown with one of my own. “Forget what Twilight said. It’s hardly even a spell,” I muttered angrily. My sent letter sprang to mind, but I wasn’t about to mention that. “I’m just wrapping some bandages around a few injuries and smearing stuff on them. The day I’m unable to do even that is the day I’ve died.”

Thankfully, she didn’t push the point. “Alright,” she murmured reluctantly. “I guess you’d know better than I would.” She looked at me unhappily, but sighed and forced a smile. “I’ll be back up in ten minutes with some food. You must be starving.”

She lingered at the top of the stairs, setting down lightly, still watching me. “That would be nice.” I didn’t feel too hungry, but I’d humor her.

I really didn’t like being waited on, yet at the same time; I didn’t want to make her upset. Even though she was almost sickeningly sweet, she was being kind, something I wasn’t used to, and would hate to repay by making her feel bad. Ugh. I was going to vomit if I kept up these gushy sentiments. Where were they coming from anyway? It must have been because of the fever. The fever was surely to blame for many things.

She looked content, smiling, and trotted down the stairs. Now alone, I rose from my bed, and levitated the bandages and jar of salve closer to me. But as soon as my horn lit up, pain drilled into my skull. Before, it had been a dull ache behind my eyes, a minor discomfort easily ignored. Now it intensified to the point where I was sure my skull would split open. Biting back a shouted selection of curses- I didn’t want to bring Fluttershy back up here, I got to work as quickly as I could. I frantically unwound my old bandages and deposited them on the floor. They gave off a faint musty smell, probably from getting soaked the other night, and I was glad to be rid of them.

Next, smears of salve covered my haunches, as well as the cuts along my left side. I wasn’t entirely sure I should have even left them exposed in the first place, but what was done, was done. I began to sweat from the effort of winding fresh gauze around my injuries as my head felt like it was ready to burst like a rotten melon. It wasn’t pretty; the wraps weren’t neatly placed and lined up precisely, and some of the ties were little more than sloppy knots, but they would have to do. I eagerly dropped the objects, ceasing the use of magic. The pain subsided rapidly and soon returned to the same dull ache as before: small, discomforting, and easy to ignore.

I climbed back into my bed, something I was getting tired of doing so many times a day, and flopped onto my stomach. I was content to lie there for a time, finally being driven to tug the brown blanket over me with my teeth as I felt a growing chill. I gazed out the balcony door’s window, watching clouds, white and fluffy rather than grey and laden with rain, drift by. I sighed, quietly enduring the pain in my head and the soreness in my limbs. As I had suspected, the crash with Rainbow Dash had resulted in a bruise on my knee, and it hurt whenever I bent it. I just wanted to sleep for… days, weeks, maybe months.

I was tired of being scared, of being uncertain, of being around so many new and strange ponies, and I was tired of always feeling something hurt. But someday, I would have my day. The day I killed Viker and her Shades, everything would stop. I could finally be at peace. And these unfamiliar emotions I had been feeling lately would be gone.

A certain timid Pegasus tore me away from my thoughts with her arrival. She flew again, carrying a tray in her hooves. On the tray was a bowl of something steaming, with another glass of water next to it. As she set the tray down on the bed, the bowl turned out to be filled with soup, not that I had really expected anything else. I would have preferred a nice apple, or some peaches, but soup was good too.

Fluttershy smiled at me, but when she looked at my nightstand, it turned to a small frown. “Oh, um, you really should be drinking lots of water.” She landed next to the bed to my left, looking at me worriedly.

I grunted, looking at her out of the corner of my eye. “I will.” I inspected the soup she had set before me. It looked like tomato soup, but I couldn’t identify the chunks floating in it. Fluttershy murmured something about drinking water, but I ignored her. Carrots, I decided. There were chunks of carrots floating in the broth. Carrots and tomatoes were all very well, but I still would have preferred an apple. It seemed Fluttershy was hell bent on being as overbearing as possible, and was going to force water and soup on me.

While I continued my consideration of the soup, the blanket I had draped over myself was suddenly yanked up. As I felt hooves fumbled at my bandages, I gave an indignant squawk. “H-hey! What are you doing?” I squirmed, glaring back at the Pegasus. My face flushed with heat- a combination of outrage and embarrassment. “Stop that!”

Her cheeks were red, but she ignored me now, shifting my bandages around. Her face was set with determination and her voice sounded less uncertain. “These are so poorly set compared to your other ones. Are you not feeling well enough to tie them right?” Rather than answer, I continued to worm sideways, careful not to tip the tray over and desperate to get away from her hooves. “Stop it,” she scolded. “Stay still!” But I ignored her, continuing to twist and turn.

My efforts to scoot away from her were halted when she suddenly gave me a piercing glare. I’ve looked into eyes made of fire, filled with malice and hate, but something about her look gave me pause. It suddenly seemed a very good idea to do what she said. My desire to escape suitably crushed, her gaze softened somewhat, yet remained firm. She resumed poking at my side, tightening, loosening, untying and retying strips of gauze. Each time her hooves brushed me I tensed up, torn between inching away and risking her stare, or staying put and suffering being touched. But every time, I chose to remain still.

“It’s my head,” I admitted reluctantly. Performing the sending spell in my current state had been too much, I was loath to admit. Any more magic until I recovered from that effort would trigger more migraines or worse if I ignored them. I think I had read a story about a Unicorn’s head exploding when he pushed past his body’s limits. “I can’t work anymore magic today. When I try, it feels like my skull will split open.”

Fluttershy had moved on to the bandages on my haunches, satisfied with those around my side, and increasing my anxiety. She seemed to be careful to keep what lay beneath covered, for which I was grateful, but now she paused, two lengths of gauze in either hoof. “Anymore?” She looked up from her work to frown at me. “You did more than just levitate things, didn’t you?” Her voice was more than a little frustrated.

“No, no.” I quickly gave a small shake of my head. “Well, a little,” I relented. Her face darkened, but before she could speak I pressed on. “Before you got here, I had sent a letter to Princess Celestia. The spell to send it must have been too much for me, but I needed to get it to her as soon as possible. I honestly thought I could do more than that.” I sighed and shrugged my shoulders, causing the tray’s contents to rock alarmingly, but thankfully didn’t spill.

“A letter?” I was distressed to see she remained frozen, my bandages seemingly forgotten. “Was it about whatever Rainbow had seen you talking to the other night?”

I must admit, I had been surprised Rainbow Dash had been able to see the light in the first place. Her eyes must have been more akin to those of an eagle than a pony if she had seen me talking to Viker at night, in the midst of a storm. It made sense now, why she had been afraid last night. I was foolish to think she had been worried over an unexplained light. Maybe Pegasi had naturally sharper eyesight to aid in their flight? Pegasi were not a subject I often touched on, but that theory sounded solid.

“Yes, as well as my current illness.” I was unwilling to reveal what happened last night to her. If Celestia ordered me away, all I would be doing is scaring her with stories of a group of not-quite-dead and not-quite-alive Unicorns living in the woods next to her home. If I was permitted to stay… well, I’d have to tell them eventually, but I’d cross that bridge when I got to it.

Fluttershy seemed to have picked up on my hesitation and returned to tugging at my bandages. “Okay,” she said simply. She gently shifted the wraps, undoing several of my hastily made knots and retying them more securely, or so I assumed. I idly inspected the soup once more. I normally ate with the assistance of magic, but I could manage without. A piece of my mane slid out of place, dipping into the soup. I mumbled a curse and batted the offending hair back into place, headless of the tomato broth on it.

The yellow Pegasus made an odd noise and paused, causing me to glance back at her. She looked at me nervously before turning her attention back to my haunch. I sighed, knowing what she was so worried about. I guess I couldn’t blame her with how I had reacted at the party. In my rage I had threatened to kill her. The memory of it filled me with shame.

“Don’t worry about it,” I muttered. “If I’m too useless to even bandage myself, I’ll need your help, so it can’t be avoided. You’ve already seen my injuries, so I don’t really mind.”

She nodded quietly, moving faster now. She winced a couple times while putting the bandages in order and bit her lip throughout it, when she wasn’t making more sympathetic noises. I studiously ignored her, hoping she would finish soon and just leave. While she was certainly the kindest pony to inspect my wounds thus far, I still hated that there was anypony, nice or not, doing so. So I swallowed my unease and laid there, ignoring the Pegasus making various sounds while ensuring my bandages wouldn’t come loose.

“There,” she announced at length. “Much better.”

“Thank you.” I looked back at Fluttershy and gave her a smile. I was surprised that it came easily and felt sincere. “Thank you for, well… everything.”

She returned my smile. “Oh, I’m just glad I could help.” The yellow Pegasus slid the blanket back in place, covering my side once more. “You should eat and get some more rest. Twilight wanted to speak to you about something important, but I don’t think you should have any visitors right now.”

“Twilight wanted to see me?” I frowned, wondering what she could want. Could she have already read the book I gave her? She was just as quick at reading books as she was learning new spells, then. “Did she say what about?”

Fluttershy shook her head, pausing to blow her pink mane out of her face. “She just said it was important. But if you’re too sick to work magic, you’re too sick to talk to her. I’ll tell her to come back tomorrow.”

I jerked my head up, fully looking at her now. “She’s here?”

The Pegasus nodded. “She helped me cut up the carrots. She had brought her saddlebags with her and asked if she could leave a scroll on your desk in the library when I told her you were asleep.” She gave the bowl of soup a considering look. “Oh, do you need help with that?”

“I can eat just fine, thank you,” I grumbled at her. “Just send her up. I can eat and sleep later.”

Fluttershy frowned and crossed her forelegs across her chest, her wings now keeping her aloft. “No,” she said firmly. I hadn’t really expected for her to suddenly be so stubborn and was a little taken aback. “Rainbow Dash asked me to help you get better and to do that, you need to eat that soup, drink water, and get some sleep.”

Rainbow Dash…? Of course- she had after all gone out for help. “Look, just bring her up and I’ll eat as soon as she leaves.”

She shook her head, ignoring my pleading. “If you can levitate that bowl above your head, I’ll let you talk to her.”

I considered the bowl for a moment, contemplating giving it a try. But my head hurt just thinking about it and I wasn’t eager to experience that pain again. “Fine,” I snarled. She gave an infuriating self-satisfied nod and I scowled at her. “Tomorrow then,” I sighed unhappily, but it was obvious she wasn’t going to be persuaded.

“Tomorrow,” Fluttershy agreed, landing on her hooves and making for the stairs.

“And Fluttershy.” She turned around. “I don’t appreciate being ordered around, or having ponies go against my wishes.”

“Oh, of course not.” She smiled sweetly and started down the stairs. “I’ll be back up later. Make sure you drink your water too.”

Grumbling, I glared at the bowl and glass on the tray before me. After a pause, I sighed in resignation and picked the bowl up with two hooves. Slowly pouring the contents down my throat, I paused every now and then to chew the carrots floating in it. It wasn’t bad, I had to admit, but losing an argument with such an ordinarily timid Pegasus left a bitter taste in my mouth. It was just the fever, I told myself. And besides, I needed to get well soon. I was so close to my goal, I couldn’t afford any weakness now, not when I still had so much work to do.

After the soup, I guzzled the glass of water quickly and scooted back away from the tray. I was sprawled out on the mattress, my back hooves on my pillows and head pointed toward the foot of the bed. I rested my chin down on my crossed forelegs and felt my eyelids grow heavy. Down stairs, I heard the front door open and close. Outside, the sun was setting, giving off a weak, orange light. Eventually, I drifted to sleep for the second time today. I drifted in and out of consciousness, only half awake each time.

I don’t recall if I dreamed that night. Maybe that was a good thing, given the string of nightmares I’d been having in the last few days. But in one instant when I woke up, in what I desperately hoped was a dream, a light gleamed at the edge of the forest. It was a weak, yellow glow. I had lain awake, looking at it for a time, and it eventually faded. I could have sworn once it vanished, two blue lights shone weakly, tiny pinpricks of glittering malice, and eventually those too vanished. When I went to sleep once more, I was filled with unease, and slept through to the morning.