Garry's Mod Vs. Equestria

"Watch your side!" I shouted, straining to be heard over the gunfire and the screams, growls, and buzzing of the Changelings. By now, they learned that rushing in meant death, and opted for shooting balls of green energy at us instead. Now, I know that I'm magicproof, but this wan't magic, per say. What they had was refined and weaponized energy in its rawest form. Energy, the thing that makes computers run. And I just happened to be a computer program. So, imagine my surprise when I was clipped by one of these green balls of death, and it fucking hurt like a bitch. Yeah, not fun.

So, to avoid dying a horrible, painful death at the hooves of glorified cicadas, I came up with a plan.

Step one: Mirage makes a shield to cover us.

Step two: While in the shield, kill as many Changelings as possible with bullets.

Step three: When not shooting, run like that crackhead from Friday.

Step four: Get to the castle without dying.

Step five: Get home and far away from this insane land of talking magical ponies!

It was a flawless plan, if I do say so myself.

"Above!" I yelled, firing Viking's gifted AK-47 into the face of a ballsy Changeling. The head exploded, further soaking us in bits and pieces of dead bug.

Yeah, the one thing wrong with the plan was that while the balls of death couldn't hit us, Changelings could still get through. The only reason why our bullets could go through unhindered was because they were solid objects, not modified by magic at all.

"I got seven rounds before I need to reload!" I announced.

Viking nodded once, firing at Changelings that got too close, but only hitting them once every ten or so shots. The SAW isn't that accurate, but damn. I call user error on that shit right there.

We weren't going as fast as we could be going, which bothered me. Mirage, apparently, was not a multitasker. Talking and magicing? Sure, it can be done, but don't expect a full conversation. Flying and magicing? Hell no. Don't even try it.

Mirage was jogging at a lazy pace, her eyes narrowed from the stress of maintaining a shield large enough to fit all three of us while under fire. She looked tired. Almost as worn out of the two of us.

I gave her a reassuring smile. "Almost there," I panted. "Just a few more blocks, love. Just a few more blocks and we're home fucking free."

She flashed a small smile quickly, then it was gone before I actually had the time to see it. Her concentration taking back over and her face going back to narrow-eyed and dead set.

I looked up to see the Changelings gather ahead of us, probably planning to cut us off. "Stop those bugs!" I shouted.

A throat cleared at my side.

I gave Mirage a toothy smile. "You're not a bug, love. You're my love bug," I said with a waggle of my eyebrows.

She gave a sort of half-snort half-laugh type thing, but kept up the pace.

We were close. So close. So... fucking... close... "Twenty seconds!" I yelled. We were twenty seconds away from the courtyard gates. Thankfully, they were open. Probably not for us, but, meh, I'll take it. Hell, Celestia was probably consoling the ponies, telling them that we were dead and that we died hero's deaths trying to save them all.

"Ten seconds!" I yelled, moving slightly faster, anxious for getting to safety. The gates were so close I could almost touch them.

"Five seconds!" So close now... Almost... Almost...

"We're through!" I cheered, celebrating by firing my last rounds at the Changelings, killing four more of them.

"It matters not, you foalish cretin!" that same, agonizingly familiar voice yelled. From where the voice came from, the queen bug appeared from seemingly thin air. Queen Chrysalis, in all her termite glory. Although, she now sported new holes in her body. Three in her legs, one in her side, and one that seemed to pass just under her jaw, tearing at her neck. She looked horrible, bleeding profusely from the bullet wounds I gave her and looking only half alive.

I stopped our little party of adventurers, reloading my AK-47 with a fresh magazine. "So, we meet again," I said in a dramatic voice. "Tell me, how's life as a target practice dummy treating you? Good? Good."

She glared at me, blood trickling from her barred teeth. "You have given me nothing but flesh wounds, imbecile! To think that you could actually hurt me?! Ha! You make me laugh with your stupidity!"

I rolled my eyes. "Listen, I can totally appreciate evil monologue. Probably even more than you, actually. But we really do need to get into that castle behind you, so... Get the bloody fuck out of our God damned way, you cunt sucking whore!" I said, more of a snarl than anything else.

She blinked. "That was the filthiest thing I've ever heard in my life. And I'm an immortal Changeling."

I snorted. "You've obviously never heard me on a bad day," I muttered darkly. "But the point remains, move, or be moved," I said, scowling.

She started giggling. Then that soon turning into chuckling, which turned into laughing, which turned into guffawing, which turning into something sounding like me when I've eaten too much spicy food, and ending with a fit of coughing.

I raised my eyebrow at her. "Done yet?"

She glared at me coldly. "Yes, I am," she said as she lit up her horn in a blindingly bright green glow. "And so are you," she growled. I could hear the sneer in her voice. Her jagged, black horn shot a ray of light at us too fast for me to see properly, impacting it against our shield. Surprisingly, it didn't kill us.

I looked on in awe as the two magical wonders clashed, creating sparks of every shade of green imaginable, and all of those that are not. It was like, being high on acid, while tripping on PCP, while at an Alice Cooper concert, while being drunk and getting punched in the face in the mosh pit. Gotta love them dead babies, man. Am I right?

And just like that time I got punched in the face by a drunk guy wearing a black dress and too much makeup, I punched back. Much, much harder. Though this time, my punch was made of magic. Not my own, mind you. I don't have any magic of my own, sadly. But Mirage did. So, seeing that we were probably about to die because Mirage didn't have enough power to combat the queen roach, I gave her a little boost. "Open wide!~" I sang, wiggling my fingers. I then rammed my index, middle, and ring fingers deep enough in her tight little velvety-soft pussy for the tips of them to brush against the entrance to her womb.

She gasped in shock and pleasure, her eyes going wide and her magical output increasing by six times at the very least. The shield protecting us became a weapon. It flickered and warped, glowing increasingly brighter as the seconds went by. Until finally, the energy in the shield was too much and it exploded outwards like a shaped explosive, actually vaporizing every Changeling near us and throwing back the queen like a ragdoll.

One of the cool things about the courtyard of the castle was that there were statues of shit everywhere. And I mean, everywhere. I couldn't look in any one direction and not see a pony made of stone. But the statue that got my attention was a pony holding a flag. The statue wasn't that interesting in itself, but what was on the statue was. See, the flag had this pointy bit, right on the end of the shaft. And it was on that pointy bit that Chrysalis was thrown on to, skewering her on the flag. Funnily enough, that particular statue was supposed to represent victory. So I suppose it's only fitting that the defeated queen was hanging there like an old cum rag out to dry after a good washing.

At the sight of their queen dead, the Changelings froze. Their queen, their leader, their mother, was dead. They just couldn't recover in time.

Viking and I leveled our weapons at any Changelings within killing distance. The number of survivors was... actually, depressing. At first, there was easily five or six thousand of them. But now? I was only counting five hundred. Max. It didn't matter to us though, not really. We opened fire, obliterating the Changelings that were left while they were still stunned. His one hundred fifty round belt plus my thirty round mag made short work of many of them, taking out nearly a hundred more of them before the rest got the message that it was time to go. We fired after them as they retreated, nailing a few of them, maybe ten or twenty before they were out of range.

I reloaded my AK, now only having about two or three magazines left to use. Looking down at Mirage, I saw something I didn't expect. She was crying. "Hey, hey, what's the matter?" I asked as I crouched down to her level.

She sniffled and wiped away the tears with a hoof. "Nothing, it's stupid," she said with a laugh.

I frowned at her. "Love, nothing you say is stupid. Tell me what's wrong."

She stared into my eyes for a long time, not saying anything. She almost looked... afraid? "Well, it's just that..."

I put my hands on her shoulders, shaking her lightly. "Love, listen. Whatever it is, you can tell me. I swear, nothing bad will happen if you do," I said, trying to smile at her but failing miserably.

She sighed, looking away from me. No, wait. She wasn't looking away from me, she was looking at the Chrys-ka-bob a few dozen feet away from us. "It's just... They were my family..."

I cocked an eyebrow. "I'm not sure I understand," I said.

She sighed again, looking back at me. "Changelings, we... We all come from egg sacs. And the queen of the hive makes these sacs. So..." She once again gazed over at the dead queen.

I closed my eyes as I understood the problem. "We just killed thousands of your brothers and sisters, along with your mother," I said, more of a recount than anything.

She sniffled again, leaning into me. "I don't know what to do. The hive mind told us everything we needed to know, but now... it's just silence." She wrapped her forehooves around me. "What do I do?" she whimpered.

I sighed, scooping her up in my arms and walking towards the castle gates. "I don't know. Personally, I would just start over. No hive, no mind, no evil, murderous siblings. Just me, and whatever I had with me," I said, giving her a small smile.

She smiled nervously back at me from my arms, like a child looking for guidance. In a way, she was. She certainly had the weight of a child. Honestly, she weighed maybe sixty pounds. "So, just start over?" she asked. "Nothing but me, and whatever I have with me?"

I nodded at her. "Exactly."

She snuggled closer to me as best she could. "So, would you like to start a new life with me? Nothing but what we have right now, out in the world?"

My smile slowly faded from my face. It was replaced by a stony look, absolutely void of any and all emotions. "C'mon Viking, we need to see if Celestia and Luna are done with the portal yet," I said, the coldness in my voice giving even me chills.

The small Changeling in my arms gulped nervously, changing back into the good sergeant Light Hoof. I actually felt sorry for her.