Sweetie's Depression

A New Life

I don't understand why it has to be this way.  I don't understand why they left each other.  I don't understand why she blames it all on me...I don't understand.

Every day is the same...I wake up every morning to find my mother half dead on the couch with an empty bottle of heavy alcohol next to her.  The stench of urine and sweat is unbearable.  She constantly soils herself, as she's incapable of even walking a few feet.  It's been this way for a while now...ever since my father left her.

One thing I don't understand is why he left her.  I didn't see any reason, they always seemed perfectly happy together.  After that happened, she became depressed.  She started drinking, doing drugs, and got fired from her job.  The worst part of it all, is she blames it all on me.  She yells at me constantly, and leaves me beated and bruised.  As well as that, I do everything around the house now while my mother sleeps in her own filth.  I clean the house, wash our clothes, and yes, cook meals for us...though I wish she would help herself too, not just leave me to do everything.

It doesn't really get to much better outside the house.  At school, I'm constantly teased by Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.  Scootaloo and Applebloom are the only two friends I have, but they never want to come over anymore because of my mother...I would go to live with Rarity...but my mother would follow me there, and eventually drag me back here again.

Miss Cheerilee walked into the class with a smile on her face, as usual.  "Good morning class." She spoke.  "I hope you all enjoyed your weekend.  I hope you brought what you need for todays Field Trip.  The carriage will be here shortly."

Applebloom and Scootaloo looked at me with smiles on their faces.  "I've been waiting for this field trip forever." Applebloom spoke.  "We finally get to go to Ponyville Amusement Park!"

"When we get there, I'm gonna ride the biggest, baddest roller coaster they got!" Scootaloo exclaimed.  "What about you Sweetie?"

"I'm looking forward to it.  Hopefully it'll help me forget about all the stupid stuff." I replied to Scootaloo's question.  I proceeded to whisper, "I wonder if they'll be any cute colts there."

"Oh I hope so." Applebloom agreed.

"You two are weird." Scootaloo pointed her hoof into her open mouth as Applebloom giggled quietly.

"You'll learn to like colts eventually Scoots." She said as I put my hoof over my mouth trying to cover my laugh.

After a short carriage ride, we arrived at the amusement park.  The noises coming from inside sounded terrifying, but in some ways attracting.  They were sounds of screaming and hollering that you would hear at a horror film, but you knew they were screams of joy and adrenaline.

Miss Cheerilee led the class into the park as we gazed all the different rides and games.  She led us to a small area of tables set up for the entire class and the chaperones who volunteered to help.

"Alright class." Miss Cheerilee said aloud to gain our attention.  "Nopony is going off alone, I want groups of at least two or three." She explained briefly.  Scootaloo and Applebloom immediately stepped beside me as our classmates gathered into groups of their own.  Miss Cheerilee looked at us all, and pointed at Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.

"Why don't you girls join with you three?" She proceeded to point at us.  My heart immediately sank and my stomach churned.  "You've gotta be kidding me." I spoke inside my head.

"Do we have to Miss Cheerilee?" Diamond Tiara protested.

"I would feel more comfortable if we had bigger groups.  We don't want to get back to school with anypony left behind now do we?" Miss Cheerilee smiled.  With a hollow sigh, the two 'prissy twins' lazily trotted over to us, and stood quietly.

"There goes our hopes of a good time..." Scootaloo whispered.

"Aw shucks Scoots I know we're in a bad spot, but let's just make the best of it." Applebloom replied in a whisper.

"Alright class you're free to go!" Miss Cheerilee finally announced.  We immediately split off from the rest of the groups, and followed Scootaloo, who was already ahead of us.

"Come on girls, we're riding the biggest one first." She pointed up at a roller coaster that seemed to go as high as the clouds.  Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon looked up at it with a terrifying expression as a car came down the first rise with the sounds of screaming not far behind it.

"Um, can't we ride a smaller one first?" Silver asked.

"Yeah, I haven't exactly ridden one of those things before." Diamond agreed as she scanned the park for a more soothing ride.

"Pfft.  I guess you can all wait while I hack this bad boy." Scootaloo continued to walk toward the roller coaster, which had a sign at the entrance that read "The Wonderbolt".

"Come on Scoots, let's ride something we'll all enjoy." Applebloom spoke.  I looked at her curiously, wondering why she just agreed with Diamond and Silver.  Than again, I'd have to call myself a hypocrite if I protested.

"I agree with AB." I finally spoke up.  Scootaloo put on the best puppy dog face she could, trying to convince us to go.

"Not workin'." Applebloom quickly said.

"Hmf.  Fine, we'll go on a smaller one." Scootaloo finally agreed to leave the best for last.  "Well, who wants to lead?"

"I will." Diamond Tiara said, unsurprisingly.  She stepped in front of us "Humbly" with her eyes closed and a wide smile on her face.  She barely took three steps before stopping, and making up her decision.

"That's more like it." She pointed towards a roller coaster that was noticeably smaller compared to "The Wonderbolt".

"Nice pick Diamond." Silver Spoon agreed with her.  Yet again unsurprisingly.  Nopony else protested, so we followed Diamond to the short line that blocked the way to the front.  As if on cue, the cars returned, and let the next ponies in line ride.  There was luckily just enough seats for all of us to get on.  As Diamond made her way towards a seat, the operator stopped her holding a yard stick.

"Hold up little fillies.  Just need to check your height first." He spoke.  Diamond sighed and stood up straight, easily passing the minimum height requirement, as did Silver, Applebloom, and Scootaloo.  "Alright, you're next." He said as I approached the yard stick.  I stood up straight like my fellow crusaders, and expected the same answer.  "Sorry sweetie you're just a bit to short.  I'm afraid I can't let you ride without a parent."

"What?" I replied.  "Can this get any worse?" I thought in my head.  As I frowned in disappointment, I heard laughter coming from the cars.  I looked up and saw Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon giggling.  There was no question what they were laughing about.

"Anything funny going on here?" I asked them.  They immediately tried to fight their laughter to reply to my question.

"Oh, nothing at all." Diamond Tiara snickered.  "Shortay!" She pointed at me.  Other ponies on the ride, except for my fellow crusaders stared, and laughed at me.  Heartbroken, I tried to hide myself, but to no avail.  The laughing kept invading my head, and my thoughts no matter how hard I tried to block them out.  The pressure built up, heavier and heavier, as I felt my legs shaking wildly.

"ENOUGH!" I yelled uncontrollably.  "You better take that back before I-" I was cutoff by the cars suddenly pulling away, and quickly moving up the first hill.  I stamped my hoof, and walked back to the exit.

A good five to ten minutes passed as I waited for them to get off the ride.  I sat on a bench, hiding my face from the public, weeping into my leg.  The fur of my leg was visibly darker, soaked with my own tears.  "Why?" Was the only question I was asking myself.  The feeling of being alone while my friends had the time of their lives was unbearable.

"Sweetie..." I heard.  I looked up, and saw Applebloom and Scootaloo.  They looked into my bloodshot eyes, and pulled my up from the bench.  "Don't let them get to you.  We're not gonna let them." Applebloom said.

"It's not just them..." I said as they released me, "It's everything.  I'm sick of it all happening to me."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better Diamond and Silver almost lost it on the ride." Scootaloo said.

"Yeah, we ought-a get them barf bags as souvenirs." Applebloom added in.  The thought of them vomiting on the ride was disgusting, but made me chuckle.

"What are you laughing about!" We heard the sassy voice of Diamond Tiara.

"Oh nothin', but I'd start taking note of where all the trash cans are just in case." I said without thinking.  I didn't realize what I had said until after I had said it.  "What's wrong with me...I'm becoming one of them!" I thought.

"Excuse me?  At least I got to go on the ride." Diamond replied in anger.

"Yeah, you'd probably wet yourself if you got to go." Silver just had to add that one in.  My ears perked up immediately, and I swear I could hear my anger snap within me.

"Haha!" Diamond was busy laughing as I approached her.  I heard behind me the voice of Applebloom, "Uh oh."

"Sweetie wait." Scootaloo said.  Diamond Tiara opened eye just as I reached her.

"What?" She said.  I didn't reply as my eyebrows lowered over my eyes, expressing my anger involuntarily.  With all the force I could, I reared up, and pushed Diamond forward.  "HEY!" She barked as she tumbled over, landing on her side.  "Ah!"

"Sweetie Belle!" Applebloom exclaimed from behind me.  Silver Spoon looked at me in shock, and quickly went to Diamond's aid.  I looked around me, and noticed that all the ponies in the park had stopped what they were doing, and stared at me.  I turned to Applebloom and Scootaloo, who were in just as much shock.  My mind calmed down, as I realized what I had done.

"What's gotten into you?" Applebloom asked.  I felt the tears building up again.

"I..." I couldn't reply...I turned and bolted.

"I'm such a terrible filly." I said aloud as I looked into the bathroom mirror.  "Worthless, waste of space." I said as I looked at my reflection.  I spat at the mirror, as I heard hoofsteps knocking on the tile floor.

"Sweetie..." I heard.  Applebloom and Scootaloo came around the corner.  "Sweetie Belle...what were you thinking?" Was all they said.

"I wasn't thinking..." Was my response, "I was only acting."

"...Sweetie Belle, you and I both know that wasn't you I saw push her down.  You're better than this." Applebloom put her hoof on my shoulder.  "You're Sweetie Belle, not Diamond, not Silver."

"I'm sorry...I honestly am...I just couldn't take it anymore." I replied to Applebloom as I wiped my tears.

"You pushed her pretty hard Sweetie..." Scootaloo spoke up.  "They had to have medical staff come to check on her." She explained.  "I guess I don't know my own strengths."

"I didn't realize I did it so hard...I was just so angry, and so frustrated...it all went to my head." I tried to explain.

"You don't need to explain Sweetie Belle.  We know we can angry but we have to learn to control it, whether it's the hard way or not." Applebloom hugged me tight.

"Where is she?" I asked.  "I need to apologize."

My stomach twisted and churned as I approached the awaiting class for my arrival.  Diamond sat quietly next to Silver.  I noticed a band-aid covered part of her left leg.  Miss Cheerilee scowled at me as I walked forward with my head down.  The class had all eyes on me as if I was an alien.

"Diamond..." I said.  She looked away from me purposely.  "Diamond listen I-"

"Save it!" She cut me off.

"Yeah...well, I deserve it." I replied as my ears lowered back, and I stared at the ground.  "I'm sorry." I said as I turned to walk away.  I only walked to the next empty table, and hid my face from the class.

"I did deserve it.  Of all the things she'd said in the past she never laid a hoof on any of us...and I was the first to strike back with force.  What was I thinking..."

The following night was one of the hardest I spent in weeks.  I stayed up until almost 1 am doing homework assigned to me as punishment.  Like I said before, I did deserve it...and here I am, paying the price, writing on a piece of paper while I should be enjoying a night's sleep.

I wasn't given much...it's just hard to see what I'm reading with one eye, as my left eye has an icepack resting on it, still swollen and still in pain from when my mother hit me not to long ago.  I might as well go to bed now...I just hope I wake up to a better life...or not wake up at all.