My Little Pony: Storm Raiders

“Well for once we did leave somepony in the lurch,” remarked Bond.

“It was kind of necessary,” said Derpy; “for firstly, time is of the essence; and secondly… if you don’t mind me saying…. I had my reservations about this O’Hara fella all along.”

“Yeah,” added Fluttershy. “The way he was behaving just now, appeared very… er… suspicious. I mean, this IS an emergency; so if he were to take it so lightly, it could be either of two things: he is telling the truth or he is lying.”

“And what’s more,” said Rainbow Dash, “if he were lying, he’d be either not in the know that he was lying — meaning that he is probably something wrong up there — or he’d be fully in the know that he was lying, making him evil and hence connected to the case.”

“All that makes things doubly complicated,” said Bond. “Meanwhile, let’s bring word back to our friends in the Frozen North. I am also starting to have MY suspicions about the whole fracas.

Meanwhile, more complications were happening in Canterlot Castle.

“WHAT is your PROBLEM now?!” screamed Benz Guzman; “disturbing me when I’m in a meeting?!!”

He was reasonably angry; for he was halfway through a meeting with Morgana and some of his top generals, when Rafael Ruiz entered the Canterlot Castle great hall at that very moment.

“General Rafael Ruiz reporting for duty, senor,” said Ruiz.

“Get your minions and GO AND TAKE MANEHATTAN!!!” screamed Guzman.

“Si senor!” said Ruiz, and he ran out of the great hall at once.

“Oh boy...!” gasped Guzman.

“Now what was that about, sweetie?” asked Morgana.

“Let’s get on with the meeting,” said Guzman. “That was our new general Rafael Ruiz. I’ve assigned him to do what Taddeo Spettro couldn’t do — to take over Manehattan. It is only once we get Manehattan, that we will be able to then take over their final stronghold — the Crystal Empire.”

Just then, another man entered the great hall. Guzman was about to freak out again, when he recognised this guest — it was Sean Brink.

“Ahem. Buenas tardes, senor Brink,” said Guzman. He and his colleagues fell prostrate before Brink, and then stood up.

“Morgana, have you gotten the hang-gliders ready yet?” asked Brink.

“Sadly, Mr Brink, we’re having lots of complications in making them,” lamented Morgana; “for these hang-gliders, as you ordered, will need to be able to bring us up to Cloudsdale, where the air pressure could easily crush even the strongest hang-glider like an eggshell — and if the hang-gliders are any stronger, they won’t be able to fly already.”

“You better hurry up,” said Brink, growling in his teeth; “you better fucking hurry up, before the defense gets too strong for us!” He then turned to Guzman and the other generals. “And the rest of you, I expect you all to make the full conquest of Manehattan before the day is through! Go and see to it that General Ruiz….”

And just as he mentioned the name, Ruiz came running back in with his minions in tow; their clothes had been torn apart, and they were perspiring from head to foot.

“Diavolo!” cried Guzman. “E’ desso!"

“NOW WHAT?!” yelled Brink. “General Ruiz, is this the way you appear before your Chief Operations Officer?! AND WHY ARE YOU NOT ON THE WAY TO MANEHATTAN?!!!”

“Senor Brink,” gasped Ruiz, “we ran into… lots of trouble….. creepy trouble…. in the forest….”

“What do you mean, 'creepy trouble'?!!” screeched Brink. “ANSWER ME WILL YOU?!!” He took Ruiz by the collar and shook him so hard till he nearly lost his teeth.

“Senor Brink, let him speak,” interrupted Guzman; “for what he is about to say, may be of use to us. Go on, General Ruiz."

“General Spettro…. was right,” gasped Ruiz; “there were these…. squid-like things…. dunno what exactly though….. they … were…. hanging on the trees….. dangling, y’know, like that….. two of them…. around…… four feet high each…... they just…. materialised…. out of ….. seemingly….. nothing…... they had antennae…. and ping-pong-ball eyes….. and their bodies were….. all but tentacles…. and they….. kept saying ….. ‘Yep yep yep yepyepyepyepyepyepyep uh-huh uh-huh’….. or something like that….. we were …. so creeped out…….  we literally …. ran…. like ….. bats out of …. hell….” and with those words, he passed out on the ground.

“Hmmm,” said Brink. “This is VERY interesting. Go and take your general to the sick bay, minions.”

The minions made funny sounds and then surrounded Ruiz’s unconscious body, and took it away. Brink then turned to the others.

“All right, Benz, how do you explain this in-te-rest-ing story?” he said, sounding sarcastic.

“Er…. Senor Brink….” began Guzman.

“GO! Take all your generals here and GO TO THE EVERFREE FOREST NOW!!!” suddenly yelled Brink. “GET CRACKING AND KE BELAKANG PUSING BEFORE I EXPLODE!!!!”

Guzman, Diaz, Bajaran, Cook, Coleda, and Lozada turned around to go. Morgana followed suit.

“You, Morgana, stay here!” ordered Brink. Morgana turned around.

“Yes, my lord Brink,” she replied.

“Go to the library in the upper room, near our gaming arcade,” commanded Brink, “and look up for any information about these ‘yep yeps’ or whatever squiddy thingies they speak about…. and let me know your findings.”

“Yes, my lord,” said Morgana. She walked slowly up to the library.

Oh boy, said Brink to himself, these generals will surely be the death of me.

It was during this time that Rarity was taking Cartman on her back into the Everfree Forest, with Snips and Snails behind them. They were going to take over Manehattan and make sure no trouble was to come.

At that moment, Cartman’s phone beeped in his pocket; he'd received a text from Bond. He read it aloud:

Am back at base. Have managed to clear Manehattan successfully; most of the inhabitants have fled to the Crystal Empire at our orders. However I think we’ve made a big mistake. One inhabitant — a human being —  refuses to leave the city; he seems a little furtive IMO. His name is Sean O’Hara and he’s allegedly some management consultant working in Manehattan. You and Rarity go into Manehattan and wait there for us; I’ll inform Shining Armour and Pipsqueak and the others to join you there, they’ve got weapons and can defend the city. We’ll be over in a bit. See u then. 007

“All right, so this Sean O’Hara is Suspect Number One,” said Rarity. “What do you make of him?”

“We’ll go and find out more when we get there,” said Cartman.

The four of them eventually went into the now-deserted city of Manehattan; and they found Sean O’Hara’s flat easily via way of some signposts. Rarity knocked on the door. “Open in the name of Celestia!”

No response. “Cartman, break down the door!” ordered Rarity. Cartman kicked down the door. The flat was apparently empty and in full order; no-one was inside, and everything was in its proper place, as though this was a brand new showflat.

“Did we get the wrong place or person?” wondered Snails.

“Let me see what’s gone wrong,” said Rarity. Her horn started glowing as she used it like a scanner around the whole place.

“All right,” said Rarity, as soon as her horn stopped glowing; “this IS the right place. Sean O’Hara has most probably escaped. My horn tells me he went to Ponyville.”

“I’ll text Mr Bond and tell him to send some unicorns over to Ponyville,” said Cartman.

“No, don’t do that,” said Rarity. “Let that be the duty of the earth ponies. The unicorns have to come here and defend Manehattan, as this is the last stronghold before the Crystal Empire. Your best bet would be to go with Bond to find Alberto, and then the three of you should then have no trouble wrenching Canterlot back from the invaders. Then, and only then, do we take Ponyville. Sean O’Hara, from the way things look by this flat, is going to be pretty much defenseless once Guzman and all his henchmen are destroyed."

“Are you saying that Sean O’Hara is the mastermind??” wondered Snips.

“From the way 007 put it to us, his behaviour certainly seems to point in that direction,” said Rarity. “Think about it this way: He doesn’t seem scared of a major emergency like this, which already indicates his fearlessness — if he is indeed part of this group of assailants, he’s sure to be one of their more senior members.”

Meanwhile, Big McIntosh and the other five earth ponies had armed themselves with the guns provided them by Cartman and Bond; and they were making for Ponyville.

“Has everypony got their guns ready?” called Big McIntosh.

“YERRRRSSSS!” answered everypony.

“Very good,” said Big McIntosh. “Now wait till I give you the go ahead before we rush in and open fire. You all know wot to do.”

“Szut! Listen!” whispered Noteworthy.

He had a point, for inside Ponyville, a crowd of minions had gathered at the main square, where a huge photo of a smiling Benz Guzman was hung; and they were saluting the photo and singing a song in their incomprehensible dialect, which translates into English something like this:

Ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-na-na!

Yellow are bananas and potatoes, dearest is Benz Guzman!

Glory be to his name forever and ever! Ba-ba, ba-ba-na-na!

He’s saved our lives, raised our land to its pinnacle,

Restored the pride of the minions forever and ever!

Yellow are bananas and potatoes, dearest is Benz Guzman!

May all our children remember the good that he has done for us! Ba-ba, ba-ba-na-naaaaaa….!

“Well, well, well. So they are actually worshipping Guzman as a god now,” murmured Braeburn. “That scum really knows how to manipulate others to do his bidding. Good thing we were wise all along.”

“Now!” ordered Big McIntosh.

The six earth ponies, completely riderless, charged into Ponyville and opened fire with such daring that the minions panicked and fled in all directions, completely defensless and taken by surprise. In the confusion, some of the minions even attacked one another....