The Swiss-German Lance

Chapter 5

So, I’m sleeping, and of course I’m dreaming, dreaming of some weird stuff.

I was in a unknown world, full with mysteries, I’m on the beach, and besides me, is a crashed airplane.

Just like fucking Lost, only this here is not a series.

I saw some passengers that are ponies, humans, aliens, monsters of games and other species that I don’t recognise for the start, one of all species survived.

Wait. Since this is a dream, I can think of something and it appears, let’s try it out.

I closed my eyes and thought of a AK-47 since it’s rather reliable and can still work even if it’s dirty.

I opened my eyes and saw how an AK-47 was in front of me, but I forgot to ask one thing, a magazine.

I closed my eyes again, grumbling, thinking of a box full with ammo in front of me.                     I opened my eyes, and saw an open box with ammo, but then after I tried to pick up, I forgot that I still had hooves. Motherfucker!

I just abandoned them saw they fall into dust after I was some meters away from it. I started thinking about flying, it hit me later when I looked down and saw I was 50 meters above the ground.

“Awesome! I can fly without even noticing!” I said.

I was to early happy because I later saw how the ground got closer and closer.

I started thinking quickly of me landing on a very soft bed, and then I felt a hard but fluffy hit.

I yawned, nearly falling asleep while I’m asleep and got off it, starting to walk to the edge of the beach, and when I got there, I wished I could just be a human and have thousands of hot chicks behind me trying to fuck me.

I laughed and hit myself, and noticed how I had hands, I gulped, looking slowly behind me, seeing thousands of chicks, jumping all towards me, pinning me down.

Oh hell no! I didn’t want those kinds of chicks! I want hot human girls! For fuck sakes!

I looked around and saw that all chicks were now naked hot girls.

Wow, seriously, that’s lame, nothing special like a transformation or something? No? Fine, boring shit.

I pushed the girl off me and started running towards the sea, and guess what I saw.

I quickly stopped and turned around, seeing as they walked eager towards me, I looked at them in disbelief, thinking that this is just dumb as shit.

Now it would be a very good time to have a Machine Gun of every kind!

I closed my eyes and thought of a machine gun with thousands of shots and no recoil, I opened my eyes and saw I carried a MG42.

Wow, Hitler’s buzzsaw, disgusting to have such a gun but it should do.

I started aiming at a big bunch of the girls and started shooting at them, blood splattering everywhere.

I laughed like a maniac, enjoying it so much.

Now all of them must be ponies! and saw how all around me were now ponies.

I shot three quarter down and ran out of ammo, and saw the other quarter of living ponies walking towards me.

Welp, I need help! SOS, SOS!

I tried to run off but one of the pounced on me, holding me tight.

“Oh c’mon! Don’t do this to me!” I said to her, she just shook her head, grinning at me.

“No, and trust me, you will enjoy it.” She said with a seductive tone, making me shiver.

She slowly got down, rubbing her clit right above my dick, good thing I had my pa- nope, they’re gone for some reason! She slowly got the head of my dick in her, moaning lightly.

This feels goo- It’s a pony, no it isn’t good!

She got down a bit more, taking half of my shaft in her, shuddering a bit, giving me a bit of the feeling.

“Enough!” I yelled, thinking of immense strength, after that hitting her in the throat, sending her some meters away.

I stood up, and thought of having some kind of futurist armour, closing my eyes, hoping heavily that I would get a badass looking one. I felt that I was slowly sinking into the ground because of the weight, opening my eyes and saw HUD.

I grinned behind my mask, looking and picked up my MG42, taking aim at the ponies, pulling the trigger, only getting click noises.

 “...So...how are you today?” I asked her terrified, she just grinned darkly, stepping closer towards me.

I dropped the gun and ran off, running much faster then I could or should. Surely because of the Armour...damn I like it.

I continued running like a madman, seeing a dark-blue pony with wings and horns, looking at me.

I landed on the ground, sliding under her, seeing some stuff I really didn’t want to see, standing up and continuing to run, speeding up more.

I ended up at the other side of the beach, I took a look around, seeing how everything looked like. Sand and stones, as far as the eye could see.

“I need protection, every kind of shit here.” I said, running off to the right, trying to find the end, but I didn’t.

I stopped later, looking around, seeing the ponies, and when they say me, I ran off. Fast.

They hunted me, kinda being as fast as me, surprising me a bit.

“I could kill them all by thinking they won’t be here anymore, or I could do it the way nearly every human likes it,” I said to the air I was hitting with my speed, getting slowly annoyed by those ponies, that’s when I stopped and jumped, crashing on the sand, lying on it. I saw some of the ponies past me with a long jump, making me laugh how dumb they just are. “Now, get away from here, or I’ll kill you all. Trust me, it will be painful,” I said, looking at them in anger and fear, and they saw mostly my fear, and started creeping up on me “Fine, have it your way.” I started thinking of a Futuristic Rifle with unlimited ammo and no recoil, I got a modified M16A3 with a ACOG 4x Scope with some buttons., looking at it. The gun itself had like five buttons, and I never saw them on a normal rifle, may just be me now fully retarded or it has something to do with the future. I inspected the looks of it, It had an awesome paintjob, it was White with Blue, Futuristic looking like my armour. I stood slowly up, looking at the ponies, giving a devil smile, taking my M16, looking that the ponies were coming from the left and right, and there was one in the middle, the dark-blue one, looking at me. I lifted the M16, making the grip comfortable for me, even though I’m feeling already comfortable everywhere.

I pulled the trigger, starting to fire and kill all the ponies, blood splattering like in a Hollywood film, and for some reason, I enjoyed it, too much to be honest.

When I finished shooting all the ponies that were addicted to me, I looked at the blue pony, she looked at me in full horror and anger.

Now, I thought she would run and think she would be next, but she was still at the exact same spot.

“Uhh…” I said, lowering my M16, looking at her, she just continued looking at me in horror.

“You saw too much…” I said, lifting the gun again, then starting to shoot madly with closed eyes since the sound of it shooting is even more annoying then a hammer hitting a bullet. I finished shooting, opening my eyes to see if I hit her, and when I opened them, I saw she wasn’t there anymore.

I felt a cold touch on my shoulder, going through my armour, I froze up immediately, staggering to say out “Nice weather today, right?”, starting to run as fast as possible somewhere where she can’t get me.

I ran very fast, nearly tripping after every step, and then I tripped and fell, hurting myself.

I looked and saw that the pony was in front of me, looking down at me, saying “Why are thou running from us?”

Now that’s some crazy mixture for me, I want only English or only Shakespearean.

        I took my M16, taking aim at her, and yelled “Stay away from me! I will shoot myself if you will!” I yelled, putting the gun then at myself. She looked at me like I was an idiot, rolling her eyes.

        I shot the bullet, and that’s when the dream ended for me, and returned to my life.

        I woke up, hastily looking around to see if it was only a dream “Still here, shit,” I said, looking out of the window that somehow got repaired in that small time and saw that it was night outside.

I got up and started moving to the door, trying to open the door, failing like always because of the hooves.

I pushed the door and it opens, so simple was that. Oh. My. Fucking! God! Are you now seriously kidding me?! I can’t open them with that but I can just by pushing it open?! This is a trollish world! Fuck sakes!

I got out and closed the door using my mouth, and started walking around in the city, enjoying the night very much, since it’s the time that I feel mostly calm and can do nearly all the crap I want. I started to hear some feminine moaning, forcing me to look in it’s direction.

As much as it interests me to see what is going on, nope. I continued walking to a place I hadn’t explored yet, until I saw that gingerbread house. I looked around, seeing nobody, and headed towards the gingerbread house.

“I’m hungry. Fuck it, I’m trying it out,” I said, taking a bite, starting to chew it, immediately spitting it out after the first chew.

“Blah! God dammit that isn’t tasty!” I said, wiping the taste off my tongue with my hoof. “So, it does taste like candy, and you can from the looks of it, eat it, but that’s such a bad taste, never again.” I continued heading in the same direction, seeing some new stuff I’d missed, like that park that appeared randomly when I actually got first in this crazy town. I had the worrying feeling just to go somewhere, hide for dear life, and kill everything in my ten meter radius, but I managed to calm myself.

I continued walking, thinking what more could pop up. I looked around and saw some kind of another house, a rather big one, but I can’t describe it because of the night, I saw a pony, big, with wings and horn...Yeah, anyways, I think I should just run for dear life and cry for help. I started backing away but she stayed at her position, which is good, since that’s really creeping me out now, I saw her in my dream, and now here. I turned and ran, falling on my face immediately. I heard laughter from the houses.

I stood up and started walking again, hoping that I wasn’t getting stalked now, because I didn’t sign up for this shit at all.

I saw that the library was right in front of me and I rammed full into the door, making a very loud noise, seeing that the lights got on.

“Oh bollocks…” I mumbled, running off to another random direction I didn’t explore, trying to do it stealthy but those hooves weren’t made for that.

I heard someone say something and then yell at me, but I ignored it, trying to focus on running.

“Just run. Just run!” I thought, nearly yelling the end, and heard some other yelling and then laughing behind and beside me. I didn’t stop, continuing to run.

This cute little act has gone on for long enough! I’m breaking out of this shit! It’s time to get out of this village and survive alone! I continued running, and saw Twilight just beside me, looking at me in shock and anger. I looked on my feet and saw I was running in place and that a purple aura was holding me, I sighed and let go of the muscles on my legs, letting them fall limp. The first reason, because of shock is surely because I’m that dumb enough to run instead of saying ‘sorry’, and anger because it’s the middle of the night.

“You’re coming with me, mister.” She said in a very angry voice. I mentally circled the anger because it’s the middle of night and gulped, expecting she would eat me or fry me in a pan and then feed me to the animals.

“Don’t cook me! Don’t kill me! Please don’t hurt me! I got enough problems already!” I said, being truthful actually, since when I get home I get in trouble, since I’m a pony, since I will meet one of the Princesses...so yeah...totally true.

She sighed and replied with a angry voice “No, I didn’t think of that, and we won’t.”

I did think that she lied about that first part, but I’m not sure, but the second one was real, and not a lie.

Expect the worst “Skyfall”, it will only go bad. Where is a knockout if you need one like in those moments?