Author's Note

Before you read this chapter I want to point out that I would have liked to make it a little longer but it just felt right to end it when I reached the end of this chapter to underline the severity of the last statement in it.

Hope you enjoy.

Questions

I had stared at the ceiling for the last few hours. Try as I might I could not even hope to describe how I felt in that moment. As a matter of fact I felt nothing at all. Don’t take me wrong, the feelings were there, every single feeling known to ponykind and maybe even a little more each fighting in a destructive storm through the back of my mind.
I myself had cut off the connection to them and was now standing a distance away while watching how the raging force of nature tore apart everything in its wake. Only a few of them stuck to me and were impossible to shake off.
Deep and unforgiving despair, guilt, maculation and fear.
The knowledge that all of this was my fault didn’t help either and I knew that I would never be able to cope with any of it. Ignorance and denial helped in the past but they wouldn’t now.

My uninjured hoof traveled from my chest to my belly as I came to terms with the possibility of a pregnancy. Abortion wasn’t an option. It never was. After all, I could not bring myself to punish an unborn life, to take away the chance of a new life, just because it was conceived under such circumstances.
The hope that its… ‘father’ would take care of it and furthermore responsibility for what she had done brought a little warmth to my otherwise cold heart. I could never live with them, that much was for sure. Not after what she had done to me. Nevertheless I would, as it was my conviction that my own milk would be the best the foal could get.
But what would happen after the foal wasn’t dependent on it anymore? Nursing was said to be the most bonding experience every mother could have with her foal. Would I even be able to leave my own child then?
Tears welled up in my eyes because the answer was clear as day.

No, no I wouldn’t.

I would be forced to live with my rapist the rest of my life, very likely to be raped even more times due to her being, and remaining, female.
With a firm shake of my head I let go off the depressing thoughts. I reassured myself that it was still more plausible that I would not conceive. I wasn’t in heat and I didn’t even know if the semen, albeit enchanted to at least glow, was fertile.

The door to the room I was in opened, further distracting me from my thoughts and replacing it with fear instead. But to my intense relief in came a stallion dressed in a doctor’s overall. What was way less relieving though, were the two stallions clad in the golden armor of the royal guard following the doctor inside and remaining at the sides of the door.

The doctor, completely ignoring the guards, wore a little comforting smile as he stood next to my bed. What caught my interest was that he left quite a distance between himself and my form. Wondering as to why he did that, it didn’t take me long to understand. And as I did my ears fell flat against the sides of my head and I averted my gaze, no longer able to look him in the eyes.
It was painfully obvious that he kept his distance because he didn’t want to frighten me. For all he knew I was raped and very likely to be afraid of stallions. It seemed that he interpreted my action wrong and spoke in a very careful and comforting manner.

“You don’t need to be afraid. You’re safe now and I’m just here to inform you of a few…”

He hesitated briefly and I could imagine that a look of uncertainty crossed his features.

“Circumstances.”

He concluded weakly. I remained silent and he took that as prompt to continue on, his voice losing some of the warmth it carried just moments ago.

“I’m terribly sorry that I must break this news to you, but due to the nature of your injuries we had to assume that you were being raped and thus called the guard to begin the investigation on your case.”

A few moments he waited for any reaction out of me, but he got none as I just stared absently at the sheets covering the area where in this very moment could be a new life forming. Again he misunderstood my silence and took a few steps away from me.

“If you are not comfortable to speak with a stallion right now, I’m sure I can get the guards to leave and the questioning continued by a mare in privacy.”

At this my head snapped up and terror took hold of my voice, as I voiced what had to be the least he expected.

“NO! No mares! Please, don’t send the guards away.”

The look I received as an answer was one of utter confusion. I almost could see the gears in his head try to work with what they got and slowly they came to a conclusion as realization took the place of confusion. It lasted only a few moments till it changed again to a new incredulous one.

“A… a mare did this to you?”

All I could do, was to hang my head in shame, as my eyes closed and a few tears began to fall. A long silence stretched on in the room and I could only imagine how absurd that must have sounded. Rape was a crime nearly unheard of in Equestria, so unheard of in fact that not even a sentence was set for it in the law, but as our rulers were all mares, one could fathom that it was never judged lightly.
That a mare had raped another mare, furthermore in this particular way, was without precedence, as it was deemed impossible for nearly every single unicorn to cast the spell that was needed. As fate would have it, just one being capable of magic this advanced, resided in Ponyville and I heard the gasp from my side as the stallion reached the inevitable conclusion.

“D-do you know… who?”

Again I didn’t answer right away, but as I did my voice was void of any emotions.

“I remember. Every… single… detail.” And one more time, I did something that was obviously unexpected. I lifted my head and smiled, what would later be described the most sad smile ever seen. “Don’t judge her. It’s not her fault.”

This proved to be too much for him as he whirled around and hurriedly left the room. I remained in my bed, unmoving for a few more minutes, as I saw something that said everything about the severity of my situation.

A single tear ran down the cheek of the stoic face, belonging to the guard whose face was visible to me.