Missing 3/5 of a Flower

In Which, Yoshi Drops the Bomb....Metaphorically

During the nice warm evening of the day, the young colts and fillies attending school are out playing to their hearts content. Their innocent laughter’s of joy and their delighted freedom to wonder around the school grounds is what every young foal craves to cherish as much as possible.

…all except for the well known cults, masterminds, tech specialist, and Ponyville’s one and only infamous Cutie Mark Crusaders. When an ideal cutie mark comes to mind, they don’t play, they work. When somepony mentions a special talent, they don’t rest, they invest. When a pony gets all in their business and tells them, ‘you can’t do that’, they break their Celestia-damn legs and tell them to buck off!

Okay, okay…maybe that last part was a bit hostile and unlikely, but the point is they are very determined and will not let anything or anypony get in their way.

Yes, Cutie Mark Crusading is serious business.

That is why instead of basking in the glory of recess, the three members of their crusading group, Applebloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle are hard at work to obtain their latest and greatest cutie mark discovery.

Making teachers happy…or something…whatever…

It’s starting to become painfully obvious how downhill the results are after coming up with 20 or 30 ideas that aren’t agreeable.

But hey, who’s counting?

At the moment, the three fillies are in a group huddle sharing their suggestions once more.

“Alright girls,” began Applebloom with a sigh, “whudda’ we ‘ave so far?”

“I got a Pogo Stick.” Said Scootaloo. She pulled out the toy contraption to show to her friends. “I figure maybe I can do some awesome stunts and tricks. You know, like, jump over stuff. That’ll get Miss Cheerilee hyped up to be in high spirits!”

“Ah brought along some of ar’ families good ‘ol fashion sack of apples.” The little farm filly declared, revealing a bag with some still fresh red apples. “Just one bite from an Apple Families apple will bring ah smile tah anypony!”

“Giving a teacher an apple.” voiced the orange Pegasus filly.

“Whut? Whut’s wrong with dat?”

“Sounds kinda like a teacher’s pet approach.”

Applebloom rolled her eyes in annoyance. “Well if it ain’t broke. B’sides, dis is ‘bout getting Miss Cheerilee smilin’ again. Ah don’t see how doin’ some fancy tricks on dat bounin’ stick o’ yours will help any. Whuda’ya goin’ do, leap ova’ ah pit of Timberwolves? We’re tryin’ tah help Miss Cheerilee, not give her ah heart attack.”

“Still better than just mere apples…” Scootaloo grumble under her breath.

Then they both turned their attention to Sweetie Belle. “So, whut ya’ll bring tah contribute, Sweetie?” the farm filly asked.

“Well…I do have something…” Sweetie Belle began sheepishly, holding both of her hooves behind her back. “Normally I don’t share this with anypony, but I figure for Miss Cheerilee’s sake its well worth it!”

She then pulled out a small wooden case that was colored lavender and has stylish designs along the curves.  Both the Earth pony and Pegasus fillies stare at the container with high levels of curiosity.

“Wow, what’s in the box, Sweetie?” asked Scootaloo.

“Only the most interesting and coolest thing that lighten up my day whenever I’m feeling down. ” The white Unicorn filly explained, being especially sure to dramatize the anticipation before the big reveal. Her two best friends leaned in closer after every few seconds of waiting, their eyes locked on the case. “I had kept this awesome and awe striking object for a long while now. Whenever I look at it I feel all warm and fuzzy inside, as if all of my problems and worries just disappear. As if I can’t be bother anymore as long as I have…this!”

Sweetie slowly, but surely, lifted the lid of the small case. Both Applebloom and Scootaloo eyes shone in excitement with wide grins, only for it to die instantly from what they saw in the box.

“…….it’s a piece of string…” Scootaloo spoke distantly, eyes still on the little thread.

“It’s not just ANY piece of string,” defended Sweetie Belle. “It’s made from aluminum alloy, strongest cotton fabric in all of Equestria, and very rare material. At least, that’s what Rarity told me.” She then looked at the countries strongest string and sighed in content. “Doesn’t it make you feel fluttery and happy inside?”

Applebloom and Scootaloo just stood there and stare at their Unicorn friend for a whole 5 seconds.

Applebloom then spoke up, “Suddenly, Ah ‘ave gone and lost confidence in mah idea…” she stated while tossing the sack of apples away.

“Same here.” Scootaloo agreed, following the yellow farm pony’s example. “That was an absolute buzz kill.”

“Don’t listen to them my special string.” Sweetie Belle whispered into the case, fondly rubbing the sides. “They’re just jealous. They don’t understand. They never understand! To me, you’re my…my…precious…”

“Gosh darn it, we ain’t gettin’ nowhere at dis rate.” Applebloom exclaimed with a stomp with her hoof for emphasis. She plops down on her hunches and tried to think of another solution. “None of our special belongin’ jus’ ain’t gonn’a cut it.”

“Well…what if we try making something instead?” Scootaloo suggested. “The most charitable gift of all is when somepony builds something instead of buying it. My parents always say that to me…before they got divorce.”

“But what will we make for Miss Cheerilee?” their white Unicorn friend inquire.

Applebloom took the time to look at all of their discarded items and objects they somehow manage to bring with them to share opinions. “Uhhh…oh! Ah know!” she finally exclaimed, “Ah say we combine our stuff tah’gether and make da greatest Happy Teacher gift eva’!”

“But what will we make?” Sweetie Belle asked again.

“…ehhh… we jus’ gonn’a ‘ave tah wing it ah suppose.”

“But, Scootaloo is the only one of us here with wings.” She pointed out.

Applebloom and Scootaloo both facehoofed from hearing that response. “Jus’ get da tools, Sweetie…”

=================================

Meanwhile…

Hidden from sight within the conveniently tall bush, Yoshi mused over his course of actions that he’ll need to do in order to get those three Flowers. It would have seem that the whole of the vicinity of the areas building is lurking with these child-like monsters, so simply entering through a window will not be a wise choice. Nor will going through the front door is either, seeing as he has no idea what or how many of these creatures are inside. If these little succubus’s are like anything similar to a Nipper-- an infant stage of a Piranha Plant-- on his island, then they definitely try and eat him alive at first glance without a second thought. Then again, he and his Yoshi brethren always do that…even when they’re babies.

Thank the Super Happy Tree that the fruits on Yoshi’s Island can reproduce at an alarming rate.

It’s still baffles Yoshi on how one of these creatures manages to steal some of the island’s Flowers and seal them away on their bodies. This must be the work of some weird alchemy sciencey type of thing…provided if he knew what alchemy is. And what the heck this is ‘science’? Where is he getting these vocabularies from?!

Anyways, he found the Flowers, they are right their deep in enemy territory and all he has to do is get them. But how? For some unreasonable explanation, his thoughts automatically switch over to the yellow succubus he encounters a few hours ago. Yoshi remembered seeing his egg incasing the creature and being rolled away by a pink one. He briefly wondered what fate has set upon that yellow she-devil…

=================================

Elsewhere…

Fluttershy, trapped inside of the hard shelled egg was toss through and fro in the unforgiving currents of the raging rivers deep within the Everfree Forest. The green spotted white egg eventually was thrown out of the waters built-up waves of momentum and rolled for a few moments on the dirty ridged grounds. The egg finally came to halt near some giant varies shaped boulders that are piled on top of each other, forming a tall cliff and as well formed to be some sort of dead-end.

The sealed yellow Pegasus tried in vain to break free from her imprisonment, only succeeding in making slight wiggles on the spot. As she continues her impossible release, a silhouetted figure appeared on the edge of the ridged cliff, follow by another, and more. Each of these four legged beast eyes glow ominously as they looked down at the struggling large egg below them. There were at least six or seven of them in a pack.

They were Timberwolves.

The living wood-like wolves licked their wooden sharp teeth and muzzles as they descended by leaping on boulders after boulders with ease. Once they reached level ground they slowly approached the wiggling egg, surrounding it, readying themselves on a nice find to feast on…

…but then, some howling and growling was heard nearby. The pack quickly threw their glances behind them, seeing another pack of Timberwolves just like them. Only difference is this pack outnumbered the first by one or two members, and their wooden coats were lighter tone and has more shriveling dead leaves around their necks and hindlegs. Clearly the original Timberwolves crossed through claim territory.

The obvious happened. They snarl with feral intend at one another, and then they fought. They clawed, pounced, and bit with razor sharp claws and teeth, one pack versus the other. Fighting for dominance, fighting for territorial rights, fighting to be the best…

Fighting to eat that egg!

One of the Timberwolves, from the first pack, saw an opportunity to rush over to the large egg and roll it away. Unfortunately, two of the lighter tone wolves saw what the wooden mammal tried to do and dashed over to it. They rammed into the slick wolf with enough force to knock their intruding foe over and it pinned to the ground. However, they also hit the egg which flew over the river bank and rolled down a deep slope, going unnoticed for the time being by the imposing beasts as they continue to brawl.

The trapped timid Bearer of Kindness made muffled screams as she rolled down the hill, bashing into large rocks, rotten logs, and trees which throw her into different directions. After a while of rolling down an unclear destination the egg started to finally slow down. Fluttershy’s egg prison then bummed into the rear end of a larger beast.

It was an Ursa Minor!

The large bear-like creature turned to whoever dares to interrupt its peaceful lurking. The beast saw the egg and curiously gave it a few sniffs around it. The green spotted egg wiggled in response, somewhat suspiring the Ursa. It decided to take hold of the egg in its huge paws, intended to bring it back home with it.

It would have done so if it wasn’t for another Ursa Minor appearing out of nowhere and giving the first Ursa a playful full-on body tackle, shoving it and itself on the ground. They both roll around for a bit knocking down trees, crushing smaller animals that were dumb enough to get in the way, and causing mass destruction all around the pair.

Ursa Minor’s tend to play rough.

Fortunately or unfortunately for Fluttershy, the Ursa has thrown her during its surprise assault, thus she went flying, disappearing in the tick trees of the dark forests.

Where she’ll end of next, she’ll never know…

=================================

Yoshi vigorously shook his head. He needs to focus. There’s no time to worry about unimportant things. He simply dismiss the thought of the yellow succubus managed to break free and went back to her habits of seducing another poor victim and arm wrestling bears. He heard that’s their favorite activity and they are quite strong (no he didn’t). It was obviously Yoshi’s quick wits and sharp strategic mind that he outsmarted such a powerful monster (keep dreaming). There’s no doubt about it once he returns to his village and share what happened he’ll be a legend, and his brethren will pass down this adventurous discovery for a thousand life times (they really wouldn’t give a rat-ass).

It was now or never. Clearing his mind, the green reptile began thinking. After a moment, a light bulb flashed above his head-- quite literally-- as a plan formed together. A plan that can’t possibility fail.

Yoshi smiled devilishly. He’s totally gonn’a get those Flowers.

Attempt #1

The plan was nothing more than a stroke of genius. All Yoshi has to do was climb all the way to the top of the red building and enter through a window. Since most of the little younglings are playing around in the back area, there’s minimum chances of him getting seen. He’s pretty certain no one will notice an open break-in on the top floor while he’s sneaking his way through the place.

And obtaining those Flowers on the creature’s rear end? Well…he’ll figure it out once he crosses that bridge.

During that moment, all three crusading members were putting the pieces together on their cutie mark attempt project. It has some designs that resemble a Catapult. It had a similar attachments and wood frame as a Catapult.

….it’s a Catapult.

Applebloom and Scootaloo were making sure all of the necessary equipment we’re in place, while Sweetie Belle was observing the measurements, diagrams of drawings, and other calculations on the dirt ground….which is, apparently, their makeshift ‘blue print’. With all her attention eyeing the ground, she failed to notice a little bouncing ball bump her on the noggin. With a surprise jolt, Sweetie Belle threw her head up and notices the ball and a few colts in the short distance looking at her.

“Uh, hey, Sweetie!” Called out Rumble, a grey coat and black mane Pegasus. “Mind tossing it back here?!”

Sweetie grew a smile on her face. “Okay! Here it comes!” She didn’t want to just simply toss them the ball. Instead, the filly took a few steps backwards, her tongue ticking out in concentration, rush over to the ball, and kicked it!

…in the opposite direction…where the catapult is…which is behind her…

The colts have their eyes on the ball as it roughly landed directly on the launcher’s end, making the Catapult launch the ball over the schoolhouse while at the same time falling apart, causing the two fillies working on it to stare in shocking disbelief. The rubber ball flew over towards the flag pole in front of the school, bounced off of it and projected itself at an active beehive, which was conveniently hanging next to a window that Yoshi was about to make his springing leap for.

As the green reptile jumped the ball hit the beehive. It fell and fitted perfectly around his head. The amount of torturous pain and suffering will be left to your imagination while Yoshi ran away screaming in the distance.

Attempt #2

It will seem that Yoshi has underestimated the defense mechanism of the succubus’s younglings’ storage facility. It should have been obvious that something that was so obviously easy to take advantage of will most likely be booby trapped.

Heh…’booby’…

However, this was nothing but a minor setback for as Yoshi has another plan hatched. He got off the small egg he laid and a piece of paper sprung out of it with a list of ideas for him to try.

Please don’t ask...

The three infamous fillies took another jab at building something special for their teacher. With the limited amount of resources and materials they have, it comes to no surprise that they were still able to make unique things.

“Ah say, dis maybe our best idea yet!” joyfully exclaimed Applebloom.

“Yeah! We’ll definitely get Miss Cheerilee smiling with these!” declared Scootaloo.

“And to think, we’ve made these easily within a few minutes!” indicated Sweetie Belle, clapping her hooves together.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders have, somehow, crafted a few Fireworks by simply using scraps of wood bark, wads of paper, silly strings, staplers, and squeeze apple juice for fuel. It also helps they have used an instructional book entitle; ‘How to Make Fireworks from Varies Household Items and Junk for Dummies’.

“Okay,” the orange Pegasus filly began, “all we have to do now is get our gloomy teacher to see the awesome display.”

“Alright, ah’ll jus’ go on an--“

The red bow wearing Earth pony was interrupted when the sound of the familiar musical chiming halted and caught the attention of every colt and filly outside. Each of them gasped with large open smiles on their faces.

“ICE CREAM!!!” they all shouted in union and rushed over like a rampaging herd to the other side of the schoolhouse.

The adult Unicorn pony stallion running the ice cream cart was awoken from his apparent unconsciousness by the howling sounds of little foals surrounding him.

“Huh?! Wha-- how did I…” The ice cream stallion was gravely confused. The last thing he remembered was selling ice cream to the ponies in the marketplace, then he felt immense pain on his head and everything went black.

With the coast clear, Yoshi dashed his away from the bushes he was hiding in and went over to the back of the building. The plan worked perfectly. If the ‘succulings’-- he’s still working on the names-- were anything like little kids, they are all complete suckers for treats; especially ice cream. Yoshi sure was. He did eat maybe 1 or 2 or 20 when he put his plan into motion.

With them out of the way the green reptile easily strolled into the back area without worry of getting caught. He planned on sneaking into the room through a window that held the sleeping four legged creature that’s in possession of his Flowers. He’ll turn her into an egg, carry the egg out of this hell hole, and figure out what to do later.

The plan was-- ding ding ding-- GENIUS!

Due to Yoshi’s complete lack to pay attention to his surroundings, one particular creature was utterly unregistered within the hasty reptiles field of vision when he was about to lift the window to access.

…that is, until it spoke.

“I say, what a strange looking dog…”

Yoshi froze entirely on the spot. His pupils shrunk to tiny digits as he slowly glances behind him. He saw a cream color and light-brown mane ‘young-bus’ with few spots on its body and his right eye that are the same color as its hair. ‘It’ sounded like a boy and he has a British accent….implying if Yoshi knew what British are. He was also dressed in a pirate getup…implying if Yoshi knew what that is. But that’s not important right now because Yoshi has BEEN CAUGHT! The ‘kid-bus’ is STARING AT HIM!

“Or, maybe some type of dinosaur dog than?” the little monstrosity wondered aloud in an adorable gesture. Obviously it’s trying to get Yoshi to drop his guard. It’s not going to happen. “Perhaps Miss Cheerilee will know--“

What’s a ‘Miss Cheerilee’? Is that like their Overlord Empress? Oh hell no!

Yoshi did what he always does best in a situation like this.

He ran.

Unfortunately, the panicking reptile tripped on some scattered objects and landed on the pile of homemade fireworks with a heavy thump. Because of the poorly constructed materials used to make the products, the fireworks were incredibly unstable and as such, when Yoshi landed on them he caused a small explosion, sending him soaring into the horizon.

His shriek of agony disappeared in colorful burst of sparks.

Pipsqueak stood idly by and watched this whole scenario take place. He merely blinked in confusion. Right on time his classmates returned, all of them sporting ice cream cones in hoof. Sweetie Belle and her friends came trotting in his direction.

“Hey, Pip.” She pleasantly greeted. “You missed out on the free ice cream. Why didn’t you get one?”

“Why, my dear Sweetie Belle, it’s because I’m Lactose Intolerant.”

“Oh…” the white Unicorn then thought for a moment. “…what’s 'lack-toast an-tolerant'?”

Attempt #3

Clearly the little devils have shown significant levels of intelligence. They purposely had hidden one of their kind to continue patrolling while the rest investigate the bait. Yoshi deduce these ‘kid-bus’s’ have telepathic brainwaves that are linked together and are capable of alerting others. He will give them a point for that, but his next plan is flawless.

Many of the numerous colts and fillies are playing around while the gradually moving cardboard box slides across the ground going unnoticed. The large box came to halt from its trek and stayed in place.

A second later, two Unicorn colts, Snips and Snails, walked towards and spotted the large brown box.

“Hey, Snails” spoke the chubby and short Unicorn Snips, eying the object in front of him, “I find it really suspicious that there’s a randomly placed cardboard box here.”

“What do you think, there’s something unusual under that box?” inquired Snails, the skinny and tallest of the two.

“Uh huh.”

“And there might be somepony or some type of animal sneaking around the school?”

“Uh huh.”

“And as such we should lift the box up, revealing whoever or whatever is under there, exposing it to everypony around us?”

“Uh huh.”

Snails maul over the decision for a whole entire second. “Alright.” Without a second thought he heaves the box over his head discovering…a hole in the ground.

Both Unicorns blinked at the display.

“Well…that was a hole lot of nothing.” Said Snips. Both him and Snails trotted away as they stupidly laughed aloud at the apparent clever pun.

Unknown to their knowledge, a green mechanical creature burrowed deep underground, effortlessly making its way underneath the schoolhouse. It was Yoshi’s Mole Form. He used the power of the transforming machinery held in a bubble that he conveniently had with him. Normally, these machine forms can’t be removed from their located spots on the island. But then again, this Yoshi is known to be notorious for breaking the rules.

It was so freaking simple. Yoshi will dig his way into the room from underground, catcher the creature holding his Flowers, retreat back into the hole and make his getaway.

The plan was…

With the grace and velocity of a jackhammer, the Mole Yoshi machine burst its way through the wooden flooring, right on time as the transformation phase has run out. The green reptile returned to normal as he dusted himself off. He looked ahead and spotted his target only a few feet away. Yoshi was hesitant at first now that he’s getting a much better close-up view on the monstrous demon. She was definitely asleep making faint snoring sounds. Her head lay sideways facing towards him with it resting across the two front legs on the desk while sitting on a chair. Her chest gently inflates and deflates as she breathes every few seconds. Yoshi couldn’t help but notice the perfect angle of the evening suns ray shining through the window and cover the fuchsia color creature with a radiating glow that absorb and spread around her body and pink tone hair. It was a dazzling sight of beauty and adorableness that’ll make any cold hearted being ‘dawww’ in admiration of affection.

It made Yoshi sick to his stomach.

Now it’s time to finally get his prize. Taking a full single step forward the green reptile felt gravity taking an unexpected plunge on his weight and he suddenly found himself free falling through a large hole that the floorboard couldn’t handle the extra pressure above it.

“Ah, Wha, Wha, Wha, Wha, Wha, Wha, Wha….” Was Yoshi’s shriek of surprise as he continued his plummet into the abyss.

Cheerilee jolted her head up, half asleep as her eyelids are halfway open. “Ah mmerf uh, uhm-- the 80’s were better….the 90’s are…..stupid. …zzZZZzzzz…” The teacher pony’s head then fell back down and she continues her slumber.

Climbing out of a rather large hole of their own, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, dawn in origami paper helmets and carrying pickaxes and shovels crafted from sticks and stones, deeply sighed in another time wasting failed idea.

Scootaloo toss her equipment aside. “Why we thought discovering the existence of Crabponies hidden hundreds of hooves below our school will make Miss Cheerilee happy again, I’ll never know.”

Her two friends nodded in agreement.

Attempt #4

Fending your way through a hoard of giant mutant crab monsters and escaping back from several stories below the surface was not an easy task, but our green dino-dragon hero manages to do the impossible.

It also helps that they’re dimwitted and have an elevator shaft.

Never the less, Yoshi is through playing games with these little pest. He will go easy on them no more! He’s now going to unleash his full reptilian might! Yes, Yoshi was merely testing them, seeing what he’s truly up against (BULLSHIT).

No more messing around. It is time to bring out the big guns.

Down the dirt road nearby the schoolhouse, a slight rumbling, not enough to actually alarm any witnesses, occurred as a light-green small tank drove its way towards the building. Yoshi’s head was the only visible part of him that perch on top of the war-machine and seemingly unanimated. Yoshi was told a few times by his cousin, the other Green Yoshi, have attended annual parties hosted by Mario and his friends. This tank was one of them from the past celebration used for competitive mini-games. Why they used destructive machineries for their party games was beyond our hero’s understanding, but whatever.

Yoshi managed to snag one for his own in a complete ludicrous short amount of time because why not. With the safety switches off and the front main cannon live and loaded, this baby was about to blow their minds.

And their bodies.

Everywhere.

….what? You think this is some sort of joke? You think, ‘Oh, Yoshi has a tank now, what a gag! Ha, Ha, Ha!’ No. No, this is real. This is about to happen. Yoshi is done screwing around. He’s going to kill them! He want his damn Flowers!

Meanwhile, the three crusading fillies were busying themselves with more impossibly crafted objects made from random scraps and junk. How are they not earning their cutie marks from doing this was a complete unknown fact in life.

Applebloom stopped what she was doing and looked up towards the sun in the sky. “Well ah’ll be, its ‘bout half’ah ways past evenin’. We usually get ready tah go on home at dis point.”

“Wow.” Scootaloo was astonished from how long their recess time lasted and still going. “I thought something was up. We’ve been hard at work for a few hours now.”

Before either of them can speak more, an unwelcoming voice beat them to it.

“Well, well, if it isn’t the little Blank Flank’s.” called out a pink Earth pony filly with a delicate tiara on her head. Obviously it was Bitchy Tiara, accompany by her flank kisser of a friend, Silver Slut.

…okay, that was low and uncalled for. But the point is they are mean, plain and simple. They approach the three fillies before them with complete stride and posture that says, ’We have money and therefore better than you’.

Oh, and also, this is their theme music playing.

“Hmmm, Silver Spoon, be a dear and refresh my memory.” Sarcastically requested Diamond Tiara. “I’m not quite good at remembering the names of talentless ponies.”

“Well, I do believe they are called,” she began by pointing at each individual, “Applefool, Scootalame, annnd….Stupid.”

“Hey!” the white Unicorn filled exclaimed. “You take that back!”

“Very well, you’re unintelligent not stupid.”

“That’s much better.”

“Ah--“ the yellow farm filly was cut off by her orange Pegasus friend.

“Give her a second.”

“……..Hey!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed again after 10 whole seconds of realization. Diamond Tiara should know. She was holding a stop watch.

“It’s a new record!” the pink filly stated aloud and then erupted in hysterical laughter, Silver Spoon joined along. The previous record was 6 seconds.

“Whut ya’ll want dis time? Don’t ya’ll ‘ave anythin’ bett’a tah do?” Applebloom exasperated. Clearly they were bored and decided to, once again, enlighten themselves by mocking her and her friends despite the excessive amount of recess time.

“We were bored and wanted to amuse ourselves by your lack of a cutie mark.” nonchalantly explained Silver Spoon.

Point one for Applebloom.

“What are you losers doing anyway?” the tiara wearing filly asked while looking down at the object they were recently building. She snagged it away to expect it closer before the three fillies can make any protest. It was some sort of helmet made out of cardboard; two light bulbs attach on each side, wires dangling all around it, some sort of plastic screen on the middle, and a variety of colorful markings drawn with crayons. In short terms of words, Diamond Tiara was holding a bundle of garbage. “What is this stupid junk suppose to be, a holder to carry your brains in? Oh wait!” The two wealthy fillies laughed again at the apparent burn that was laid upon them.

Scootaloo stomped her hoof, aggravated by their bully’s being snobbish. “For your information, this is something we created to help Miss Cheerilee!”

“Yeah!” Applebloom joined in. “With dis device place on Miss Cheerilee’s head, it will help her be smilin’ again. All we ‘ave tah do was set da coordinates on da helmet, and after ah few brain alternating doses of shockwaves later she’ll be happy as ah clam and worried free! We’ll definitely earn our Happy Teacher Helper cutie marks!”

“….what?” was all Silver Spoon could respond with.

“We call it the ‘Super Duper Joyful Bringer Frown Destroyer Fixer Upper 5000’!” proudly concluded Sweetie Belle.

Both high rolling fillies looked at one another before turning their heads back at them. Diamond Tiara sighed with her eyes momentarily closed. “You know, it comes to no surprise that you three idiots will come up with something so idiotic.”

“No its not!” Scootaloo defended. “We put all of our hearts and souls into making this! No give it back!”

“Why don’t you make us?” taunted Diamond Tiara with a smirk on her face.

Then the game of ‘Keep Away’ began. After a few tosses between the two bulling fillies, Silver Spoon threw the helmet thing a little too hard and it sailed over the schoolhouse. All five of them watched as it disappeared on the other side of the building.

“Hmph. Guess I didn’t know my own strength.” The light-grey Earth pony muttered.

At this point, the demented Yoshi’s death machine A.K.A a small tank with his motionless head on top, settle itself in front of the school. The heavily armored mobile has its lengthy cannon aim a bit upward in position as it began to charge its ammo to fire.

Finally, vengeance is his and he will come out victories.

Just when the tank was about to near its peak to fully charged, a strange looking headgear landed right on top of the green reptiles head. Before he can make heads or tails of what just occurred, 100,000 volts of electricity flow through his body. The amount of pain he felt was immeasurable. Since his head is a direct nerve system connected to the tank, a rising level of self-endangerment went through the armed vehicle, causing it to implode.

Many colts and fillies from the back of the school heard and saw the explosion of rising smoke clouds, wowing them in awe.

Applebloom, enraged, threw her attention on her two adversaries. “Now look what ya ‘ave gone and did! Our hard on work ‘ave gone up and blown tah bits!”

Before any further arguments and be displayed, an alarming looking Cheerilee rushed out the back doors where her students at located.

“Is everypony okay?!” she frantically asked. “What just happened?! I heard a loud explosion when I was-- definitely not sleeping and…and-- oh dear…” Cheerilee looked towards the position of the sun, noticing it’s been an hour past dismissal. She then saw the surrounding foals starting right at her. She coughed into her hoof, trying to gain back some composure. “O-okay! Class dismissed! Tomorrow we’ll be focusing again on…*sigh*…mathematics…” She concluded bitterly as her young students left the school grounds.

Falling back down to earth, Yoshi landed in a tree somewhere in the clearing away from town. The shocking induce explosion may have been an unexpected flunk, but at least the rough landing wasn’t so bad this time.

Then a beehive snapped from the branch it was clinging to and fell on Yoshi’s head.

Now it was bad.

=================================

It was late evening and the fuchsia Earth pony teacher have gotten done grading her paper work, straighten the classroom, and called in a repairpony to come by early tomorrow morning to fix the floorboard that has, for some reason, two gaping holes in them.

As Cheerilee locked up the schoolhouse’s doors, her thoughts began to wonder if there was any hope for her students to accomplish such a simple task as calculating numbers. As ridicules as that seems, it has been a growing concern ever since she first presented the lecture towards them over a year ago. It was an absolute nightmare to see the results. It was like a plague, a curse even, that was place on such an innocent generation. Ever seen then, Cheerilee felt it was her duty to cure this problem. Sadly, no positive breakthrough was shown.

“I tried every possible solution.” She said aloud to herself as she trots home. “I place myself in the minds-eye of a foal’s prospective on an equation. I even checkout some books from the library. I tried big things, and I tried small things. I even went back to big and then go small. But that didn’t work, so I stayed with big for a bit and then go to small.” The teacher pony stopped in her trek in revelation. “Wait…what if I go big and then small, stay with small and go big, but immediately fall back to small and then hit big while keeping small in play and go straight into medium-- AUGH! WHAT AM I THINKING?!”

Cheerilee rubbed her head after her outburst, trying to ignore the bypassing pony residents who are staring at her. So…is this it? Is this how it’s going to end? There’s no hope for these foals? No afterthought kicking in? Not a glimmer of positive outlook?

…not even a speck?

The fuchsia coated mare shook her head trying to knock all of the negative thoughts out. “No. No, there is hope. I can still help them! Educate them! I know I can do it, I just know-- oh who am I kidding.” She instantly dropped her head and gave up. “….I need a drink.”

No sooner when she stated that, Cheerilee round a corner and headed straight for a bar. The building was located at the edge of the marketplace. It was the size of an average cottage house, only made out of concert bricks and the roofing was made from special water proof wood instead of thick straws. The exterior was colored indigo and the only front entrances were a few short steps below the surface that leads to a door.

Even at this hour of the late evening the place was open and was fairly packed. Not too many ponies come here during this time, but mostly at night when it gets real busy. Cheerilee took her rightful place on the front counter of the barstool, still looking somewhat downcast as she planted her head on the wooden smooth surface. A typical bartender stallion with a charcoal coat and brown mane and tail, polished a glass while approaching the seated mare.

“Miss Cheerilee.” The stallion greeted in his gruff monotone voice. She has been here on a number of occasions…mostly from mathematic related occasions. “The usual?”

“Add some Fizzily Cider drops and Everfree Fever.” She requested.

“On the rocks?”

“Yes.”

The bartender pony went to make her order. During the meantime, Cheerilee had only enough time to sigh before getting a surprise ursa hug. She squeaked loudly before turning around and meeting face to face with Berry Punch, who has a huge grin spreading across her head.

“Look who’s hitting the bar early today huh?” the grape color mare playfully taunted while taking a seat next to the disgruntled teacher.

Cheerilee wanted to scold at her longtime friend for doing that, but she couldn’t draw in the energy to do so. She could only muster a, “Hey Berry.”

Berry Punch could tell right away that something was wrong. So she put away her ‘I totally got you’ expression and wore her ‘talk to me’ face. “Wann’a talk about it?”

Cheerilee was able to explain in small details of the troubling matter with her students and how hard she’s trying to help them succeed. By the time she was finished, Berry Punch caught the aroma of the drink being made by the bartender. As an expert in her long life of drinking alcoholic beverages, the mare easily put two-and-two together and understood the seriousness of the situation. The dark coat stallion places her tall glass in front of the fuchsia mare and didn’t say a word and went back to attend his business.

The grape coated mare gave a short whistle as she eyed the bubbly, green tinted, tall beverage before her friend. “That’s a…that’s one heck of a drink you got there.” She commented. She took one small whiff from the drink. “Your usual, a Tequila Poniatta, with about four droplets of Fizzily Cider and a quarter pint of Everfree Fever….on the rocks. Hm.” The Earth pony mare shifted her eyes towards the teacher pony next to her and saw her staring at her with a dispassionate expression. “Eh…it was a…mild guess.” She shrugged with a nervous smile.

Berry Punch knows her alcoholic beverages like the amount of bottle caps she kept in her backyard.

…okay that didn’t make any sense, but anyways, she’s well known for her knowledge of drinking. So well, in fact, she ended up winning international cider binges all across Equestria. She has a long winning streak during those years; 21 and still counting. It also helps that Berry Punch has a cutie mark for those events.

Thank the Royal Sisters that there are no rules against special talents.

Cheerilee then reach out for her strong drink. “Wait, wait!” the grape color mare placed her hoof in the way before she can take hold of it. “Now listen…I understand you’re in this rough situation for the longest time now, but…um…” Coming up with the right words to say wasn’t her strong suit. “…err, just, c’mon Cheerilee. You can’t give up!”

Cheerilee merely snorted in response.

“Hey, I’m being serious.”

Serious? Really? Yeah, because a pony who gets real shitfaced on a daily bases and stumbles around town at night yelling incoherently, knocking over trash cans, and going uninvited into other pony’s houses should be taken seriously. Yes, Berry Punch does this all the time. Cheerilee is usually the only pony who has to bail her out of the town’s jail hold. Yes, Ponyville have finally constructed a holding place for criminals, but it’s mostly use to hold drunkards, like Berry Punch, from causing anymore trouble until they are level headed.

However, her currently sober friend words held a form of understanding. But still…

“I know, I just…” Cheerilee let out a depressing sigh, her ears folded down. “I just don’t have the will to keep doing this…”

She then reached for her drink again, but she never got it. Berry Punch snatched it away at the last second, not spilling a single drop. The purple mare glared at her disheartened friend in disappointment.

“I can’t believe what I’m hearing.” She stated, shaking her head slightly. “This isn’t the Cheerilee I know. The Cheerilee I know doesn’t give up on her students! She doesn’t know the meaning of giving up! Did our Mayor give up when Pinkie Pie practically scandalized her about her mane being unnaturally colored? No! Did Twilight Sparkle give up when she use her magic on those swarm of Parasprites, causing them to eat everything in Ponyville? No! Did she give up when one of your students got kidnapped by those Diamond Dogs for three days? No! Did those group of Changelings gave up when they were illegally transporting cases of love across the border of Equestria while wearing fake mustaches, carrying fake ID’s, and one of them had an Brookmane accent? No! Did Princess Celestia gave up during that recent Pony and Griffin War, even though it was Prince Blueblood’s fault to begin with when he insulted them during a public announcement about their dietary habits and how their feather’s stenches? No! Did he give up when he dropped the bomb?! …well, actually…he did, but that’s, that’s not the point and--“

“I get it, Berry.” Cheerilee gently interrupted. She was able to produce a small smile. “I get it.”

“All I’m saying is that you should try to find a different approach. You’re a foal teacher, the best. What else is your cutie mark suppose to mean?”

“You’re right.” the teacher pony agreed, having her spirits lift. “…thank you.”

“That’s what friends are for.” Berry Punch then leaned over and hugged Cheerilee. After a few long moments, she eyed the still bubbly beverage and grew a grinned on her face. “Well, we can’t let this go to waste after all that now can we?” Without any permission the Earth pony mare took hold of the glass and down it within mere seconds. After a slight burp, her whole body spazzed and shook, and just like that, Berry Punch’s alcohol level skyrocketed to the point of no return for the next few hours. In other words, she’s drunk. “Woooooweh! You’ll dunk knows wat you are is messin’ out gurl!” She slurred in her drunken hazed, making snorted laugher and her body shifted from side to side.

Cheerilee couldn’t help but giggle from her friends’ usual antics. But that all suddenly changed when she felt a pair of hooves wrapped around her belly and something cradling her neck. It was Berry Punch. Her friend somehow moved unnoticed behind her and is now fondling her in ways that are uncomfortable and flashing all of the wrong signals. Her hot breath tingle her neck, making Cheerilee skin crawled. Yeah, that wasn’t making things better.

“Mmmmmmmm…you’s fur so soft…” The drunken mare cooed.

The mare teacher was beginning to sweat in discomfort. “…B-Berry, I--“

“Shuuuuussssssh. Just let it happen…” Berry Punch whispered affectionately.

All the alarms in Cheerilee’s head went off and she threw a pleading glance at the bartender, who was on standby. He gave a dispassionate nod in understanding and craned his neck down to pull out the most horrible thing in the world to ever be presented to an alcoholic pony. What came from underneath the counter in his teeth was an advertised AAA Rehab Class for the alcoholics. Just as soon as the paper was placed in open view, Berry Punch instinctively had her eyes widen and the pupils turned into slit iris. She glared at the parchment with intense hatred, growling like a feral animal. Her grape color fur stood on ends as she got off of Cheerilee and slowly backpedal away. She wasn’t the only one, as many proud drinkers in the bar also glared from their seated spots and slightly snarled at such an unholy thing.

Cheerilee decided to take this opportunity to make her way out. The charcoaled coat stallion put away his handy weaponry before the whole scenario of ‘bumbling drunken ponies’ changes into ‘rioting genocidal psychopaths’. His insurance wouldn’t cover it….again.

As the Earth pony mare made her way towards home she thought about Berry’s friendly advice. She was many things when it comes to alcohol, but when it comes to helping a friend in need she’s there for support.

“She’s right; I can’t give up on them.” Cheerilee stated softly to herself. “I couldn’t, not on my students. I just have to find another way to approach them on the subject at hoof. Only…what haven’t I tried?”

She pounder on this matter a bit as she neared closer to her house. This has to be the toughest and challenging situation in all her long career. But she’ll prevail; she’s Miss Cheerilee, greatest foal teacher in all of Ponyville! Maybe, just maybe, a miracle will happen. A blessing, perhaps, will be set upon her, as if a great being will arrive at some point to save her of this ridiculous curse of burden.

Cheerilee was about to enter through her door when somepony called out to her attention. It was a little Earth pony filly scout. She appears to be a few years older than the foals that attend her school.

“Hello Ms! Would you like to buy our special brand of cookies?” the little filly asked politely. “We are also having a very special sale on our products!”

Cheerilee was intrigue by this offer…plus the young filly was adorable in that uniform. How could she say no? “Oh, why, what sort of deal are you having?”

The filly scout beamed. “That’s good to hear, Ms! This is a limited time offer that we honorary scouts guarantee will save you valuable amounts of bits.” She then began to explain. “1 box of scouts cookies are 10 bits, but now you can buy 3 boxes for the mere price of 45 bits. The value of the regular price was cut by 80%, meaning you’ll be saving 15 bits, especially from market store brand products. This sale pitch deal was professionally calculated by me as well as the other honorary filly scouts, with our Scout Mistress approval. This is an offer that you can’t possibly pass up! So, what do you say?”

Cheerilee stared for a long period of time.

And before she even realized it, Cheerilee found herself taking large gulps after gulps of her strongest cider in her kitchen’s cabinet….along with several boxes of cookies.

Too Be Continue…

Author’s Note:

I originally had another segment with Yoshi after the Cheerilee part, but I felt that this chapter was long enough as it is. So I moved it for the next one.

Anyways, I hope you all like the story so far. Kind of gone a bit deep with Cheerilee, but it’s all in good intention for humor’s sake.

There’s only about 2 or 3 chapters to the story to go, so I’ll do my best to make them great!