Pinkamena Pie's Infallible Cure-All

Pinkamena Pie's Infallible Cure-All

Chapter 1: A Lonely Wednesday

Pinkie opened her eyes as the morning sun shone through her soft pink windows. It was Wednesday, and Pinkie was excited; Pinkie never had a bad Wednesday. As she stretched and let the light soak into her soft pink fur, she remembered the night before; everyone Pinkie knew was busy. Twilight had books to read, while Rarity had "a simply faabulous dress idea" she had to work on. Dash and Applejack were racing at AJ's house, something about who could reach their peak last, Pinkie thought that was funny, usually when you race you want to be first. She didn't think about it too much though, those two were always waaaay more competitive than she could ever understand, unless they were having a party-throwing contest.

"I wonder if anypony is up and at 'em." Pinkie thought aloud.

She bounced down the stairs of Sugarcube Corner singing to herself in a perky, loud tone.

Mrs. Cake promptly darted her head out of her door, "Pinkie, you have a beautiful voice, but please quiet down the twins are asleep!"

"Oh! Sorry Misse-" Pinkie stopped herself, realizing she was still at singing volume. "Sorry Mrs. C!" Pinkie whispered.

Pinkie kept bouncing down the stairs, through the lobby, and out into Celestia's beaming midweek sun. Pinkie couldn't wipe the smile off of her face. She hadn't even had her daily tray of breakfast cupcakes and she already was prepared for a day chock-full of fun with her friends!

* * *

"For the last time, no Pinkie!" Twilight brooded, half hidden behind her thick purple door

"BUT TWILIIIIGHT YOU DIDN'T SPEND ANY TIME WITH ME YESTERDAY!!!" Pinkie sobbed at her second loudest, saving her last notch for Twilight's next excuse.

"I understand, but I made an important breakthrough and have to keep studying before I forget it all."

"But you have like a bazillion notes on everything ever, didn't you take notes?"

"I, uh, forgot. Gotta go, bye!"

"WAAAAIIIT!" Pinkie screamed as loud as she could into the door, which had just been shut.

Eyebrows furrowed, Pinkie turned around and walked to nowhere in particular. Pinkie knew what she'd do, she'd go to Sweet Apple Acres.

* * *

Pinkie trotted up the steps to the door of the Apple's home, excited that she could still spend time with her friend Applejack. When the door was opened Pinkie was greeted by Big Mac, who without asking about, or allowing her to explain her motives pointed her up the stairs to Applejack's room

"Nuh-uh, I'm here for you, big boy." Pinkie teased as Mac's eyes widened and his face dawned a terrified expression. "Just kidding!"

Mac's eyes shrank back to regular size and he let out a long satisfied sigh. Pinkie zipped up the stairs and burst through Applejack's door only to witness the single most horrific thing she had ever seen. Rainbow Dash had murdered AJ, blood was everywhere. Rainbow turned to Pinkie, eyes wide and bloodshot, face sneering in delight and caked with blood. Before she could even react she tackled Pinkie, tearing her soft flesh, blood trickling down Pinkies chest.

Just kidding. Rainbow leapt off of a moaning, incoherent Applejack.

"Pinkie! Hey!" the once blue, now deep red pegasus shouted spreading her wings wide, hoping to obstruct the pink pony's view, "I didn't know you'd be stopping by today."

"Well Twilight's too busy to party, and the Cakes have the day off, so I thought I'd come see my best friend Appleja- Hey wait! Why are YOU here, Rainbow?"

"I uh...sleepover? Yeah, yeah, sleepover." Dash grinned confidently, knowing that would fool Pinkie.

"Oh, okay...you guys wanna hang out? We could make cupcakes! Ooh, or we could save Equestria! OR WE COULD THROW A SUPER DUPER MEGA AWESOME RAINBOW AND PINKIE AND APPLEJACK ARE ALL BEST FRIENDS PART-"

"Yeah sorry Pinkie, but AJ here needs my help with the...uh...the...apple bucking!"

"Apple bucking, but you haven't ever helped her before now."

"Yeah, but this year the harvest is really big. So she needs my help getting off, er, getting the apples off of the trees. Yeah!" Rainbow nervously grinned, praying to Celestia she would buy the story.

"Okie dokey lokey!" Pinkie chirped, shutting the door behind her.

"Now, where were we my sweet southern belle?" Rainbow teased.

"Hey by the way, if you guys are gonna filly fool you should probably lock the door." Pinkie teased, hanging out of the window, standing on nothing in particular. "Bye Appledash!" Pinkie teased.

There was always Rarity. That fashionista might always be working, but surely sometime she'd have to take a break, why not today?

* * *

Rarity sat hunched over her sewing machine, sweat beading on her forehead, creeping down her brow. Since the rising of the sun that morning, Rarity had been here, working on her next big design. If she was ever going to make it to Manhattan as a designer, this would be the dress to put her there. She had slowly been working on this dress for half a decade, and today was one of the rare days when she could work on it, making sure every thread was precisely where it needed to be. This, for Rarity, was existence. Every stitch and pattern and piece falling into position gave her a wave of pleasure like nothing else. Rarity was not doing work, she was her work.

"Like nothing else, huh?" Pinkie mused over Rarity's shoulder, waggling her eyebrows.

"Pinkie how did you?"

"Because I am your god." Pinkie whispered with a specter of some strange emotion Rarity couldn't comprehend in her otherwise exuberant tone.

"I-what?"

"No-thing!" Pinkie sang. "Anyway I can see you are busy so I won't bother you. You haven't much time left anyway."

"What do you-but-I," Rarity stammered, "But I have so much to live for!"

As she exited the boutique Pinkie grinned sadistically. "And that is for spitting out my punch at Gummy's party." She licked her lips, Rarity's despondence was palpable. Pinkie loved making everypony smile, but she needed revenge. That was her special recipe, and she was insulted.

Having that out of her system, and nopony to party with, she resolved she would have to occupy herself the way she always did when she was alone...