A Night to Remember

"Come on Richard, it wasn't that bad." Luna trotted by my side giggling.

We were just caught by her sister, in a very... Let's say, 'exotic' situation.

Such a great way to present yourself to the local goddess; almost rutting her 'little' sister on the floor, but of course 'it wasn't that bad'

A few moments earlier

My mind was racing; ideas, ideas, ideas, Fuck!

I need to say something! (Not related to 'fuck' of course)

Luna was frozen by my side; but anyway, I think it's better this way, I truly fear what she could say to explain this shit.

Not like we had much to explain, I mean, it was quite obvious when Luna said the 'Master don't want to play on the ground?' part.

'Okay Richard, stay calm, you're an immortal being right now, this way any extra shame would be a shame for the rest of the eternity'

Thank You brain! You are FUCKING helping me!

"S-sister... W-we were just-" Oh no no no no no, you're not going to talk miss...

'Quick, think of something your hairless monkey!'

"W-we were just practicing for a play, that's all!"

"You know... about slavery on earth and etc... To teach the kids- No! Foals, yeah... foals, about how the earth is bad, and how they need to love each other."

Hell, I just worsened it.

Both princesses turned their heads to look at me, as if expecting some kind of conclusion. Crap, I just came this far, I have to give this 'play' an end isn't it?

"Erm... Luna was acting like a fugitive slave! Yeah- Being caught by her master. And this is why she was calling me master and-"

Celestia chuckled, and left her desk towards me.

"That's alright Richard, I have no problems with light bondage..." She fucking whipped my leg with her tail "In fact, your idea of 'master and slave' is quite normal among some couples"

"...and I like it!" She... Oh god, she licked her lips.

Now was my time to gape.

"I- I was just... HEY! This wasn't my idea, this is Luna's fault!" I pointed to the sightly blushed Alicorn beside me.

"My fault? Thou threw us at the door, and it is my fault?"

"Of course it is! You was the one who had the brilliant idea of sift through my mind, looking for my- my..."

• "Thine ridiculous fetishes!"

"I don't have any fet-" Celestia stuck her hoof into my mouth.

"It's enough!" She giggled "There's no need for both of you to debate this right here. Now, why don't you two just find a spare room to... 'Practice for the Play' "

"SISTER" Luna gasped.

"Ha ha, I'm just teasing you Lulu; but taking advantage of your presence here, why don't you present me your little coltfriend, or should I say... 'flashy husband' "

Before Luna could say something, I decided that it was my time to act (again). Like a man of course.

"Oh, my apologies your... Holiness-"

"Highness" Luna hissed in my ear.

"Yeah... Highness, as you may know, my name is Richard Lorenzo, and- What the hell is a 'flashy husband'?"

The sun princess just broke into laughs. Have I lost anything?

"Well, it's about the way you got here. Didn't Luna told you? The lightning and the mares reaction to-"

" 'Tia " Luna cut her.

"This was supposed to be a secret!" Wait just a sec-

"Secret? What are you hiding from me? Why don't you spill the beans about this fucking story?"

Celestia seemed a little surprised when heard my response.

"Wait, both of you... What's exactly happening here?" Said the confused sun princess.

"And this is what we were trying to inform you 'Tia; he forgot everything since his departure. Richard don't rememeber anything, saved from a few memory lapses"

Here we go...

After quite the explanation of the century Celestia finally understood the situation, but of course that my bucking wife convinced her to not tell a thing about that damned night.

Jesus! These princesses have the worst sense of humor I ever heard about. And that mare, Celestia... Who she think she is? A comedian?

Just because she can move the sun, fly, and read my mind, doesn't mean that she can perform a stand up show.

We left her study about an hour after the 'talk', it was almost four in the morning, and I was-

Fucking...

Tired...

This week has been certainly the worst one in decades. And please, don't ask me the reasons of why it's been this way; I'm sure you already know about the 'Alien Planet Teleporting Incident'.

We finally reached Luna's chambers, I didn't remembered much about the place, I just saw it a single time, which was when I woke up here.

But I surely remember that table...

Anyway, tables aside, I want a bed, and I want to bury my face on its pillows right now!

"Soooo... Ricky..." Luna said to me, as I changed my clothes and jumped on the princess sized bed.

"Yes Luna?" She hopped on the large round bed, vanishing below the dark bed sheets, and appeared exactly by my side.

"Now that we are alone... Why don't we-"

-"No." I glared her.

"No? But you don't even listened to our question!"

• "Because I know exactly what you would ask for, and as I presume, it involves you moaning and calling me master." She rolled her eyes.

"And wouldn't you want that?" She asked while licking my neck-

"Dammit Luna!"

"I just got out from the hospital, after being threw into your world and apparently married you, we got caught by your sister doing- God, I don't even know what we were doing!" I sighed. "Look, I just want to... Rest, okay?" I played with her mane.

"I promise, that we'll do this. Just be a little more patient okay? I'm still getting used to... You know... Ponies."

Luna groaned.

"You're such a boring creature!" She turned away from me.

"Nope. I'm just tired." I muttered while staring at the ceiling, when suddenly a question came to my mind;

"Do you really need to sleep? I mean, aren't you like a goddess or something?"

Richard, why do you still question this freaking nonsense world?

"No, In fact, we don't require sleep, it's more related to a social convention. We usually rest during the day, allowing my sister to fulfill her duties apart from my influence"

To hell I'm gonna spend my day alone with that sunny weirdo!

"So I'm going to be just by myself during the entire afternoon?"

• "Oh, don't worry about that, I may be able to stay a few days awake, until you get used to the castle, and adjust your sleep cycle. What is thou usual sleep time?" She asked.

"Well, it depends... If I'm sober, what I suppose I will be during mostly of my days here, then I might probably sleep at three or four in the morning, awaking around noon. Right on time for lunch!"

Luna smiled, and kissed my cheek.

"Then I should see thou at noon, now have thine rest. Tomorrow will certainly be an interesting day."

And here comes the peculiar feeling again...

Just look at me, being put to sleep by this mare, Luna, that besides all ~~her~~ our oddities and differences, cared about me since I got here.

A mare.

What an unlikely world; I wonder, where would I be right now, if I were on earth? Maybe dead, or in those Russians hands. But no.

I'm here, laying half asleep, with a strange, but wonderful pers- pony, cuddling with me.

God is such a creative guy isn't he?

I shifted under the warm bed sheets, I really want to sleep a little bit more, but my stomach does not allow me to do so.

What was the last decent meal I had? I mean, I don't remember eating anything except vegetables since I got here. Damn, I know these ponies are vegetarians, but couldn't someon- somepony at least cook an egg for me?

Hmmmm... Delicious eggs with toast and some butter...

Okay stomach, you won.

Fuck it, I give up!

I threw the covers away from my face and I'm greeted with complete darkness. Well, at least be married to the princess of the night has its privileges! Luna must have done some kind of 'witchcraft' to these blinds, to make her room look darker during the daytime.

I search the over the bed blindly, but apparently she's nowhere to be found. I stood up still a little dizzy due to my sleepiness, I can barely see my own hands in front of my face.

Walking around the room like an idiot, shaking my arms randomly, expecting to find a wall or maybe a -

"OH FUCK. MY LEG!!"

Jesus Christ, the pain.

I tripped over something, trying to get some balance I desperately wrap my arms around the first thing I manage to grab. And look! I've found the curtains.

Moments of pain and blindness later, here I was on the floor again. Gee I didn't expected it to tear apart. Holy mother, I almost fell through the window!

Anyway, now that I have some decent light, and a decent swelling in my leg, I just need my clothes.

And for Celestia's sake! I need a bath.

Bath taken, teeth brushed, clothes- Luckily nopony stole them from me.

I glanced the mirror just to make sure it was everything on its place, you have to be careful here dude, apparently they don't have any kind of underwear in Equestria...

Everything's fine, shoes are okay, and I'm not stinking. Now... Where's the dinning room?

As I opened the door and went into the hallway, I remembered why this place is called a 'castle'. After going down an almost endless staircase, I ran into a larger and wider corridor with dozens of doors, heading to god knows where.

'Dammit Luna, couldn't you at least send a guard to escort me?'

And my prayers were attended! Somehow...

Through the same corridor, comes the stupid captain, 'Prince Shining Armor' guardian of the blah blah blah. I swear, one day I'll hug this small piece of white cute fur- Crap, what the hell brain?

Never mind, I want food, and this guy knows where the food is!

"Look who we got here, isn't Shinning Little Armor?" What? His reaction to teasing amuses me!

The captain halted in the middle of his way. "What are you doing here creatu- Prince Richard" Jerk...

"Hang on partner, I just want to get to the food. Do you know where Luna is?" I walked closer to him, cautiously of course; I really don't wanna stand on the way of one of these pointy horns.

"Princess Luna, is with her majesty Princess Celestia at the dinning room." Perfect! Food, and company.

"Great, I'm starving here, couldn't you show me the way? I mean, alone I'll probably just get there for the dinner." He rolled his eyes and nodded.

Gee, why this guy hates me so much? Just because I said that 'I'm gonna stuck your horn into-' Never Mind, here's a good question.

"Why do you hate me?" I asked as I followed him through the castle corridors.

He maintained the pace but tried to avoid my eyes. (Which was easy, these ponies barely reach my waist)

*sigh* "I prefer not discuss that with you..." You're not going to avoid the big human here, little unicorn.

"C'mon dude, I can be an idiot, but I remember clearly what you said; 'I know everything about your rotten planet and blah blah blah' Also, what the hell happened to your sister?" I asked

"I've said before, I don't wanna talk about this, besides, you wouldn't understand... No one would" He shrugged

"Look, I don't know what's your problem with my kind, or what they did to you in the past. I can be a moron sometimes, but I assure you that I would never, never, do anything to your pony friends. If you don't wanna talk about this, fine! Just stop judging me based on your 'dark' god knows what experiences-"

"First door on the left. The princesses must be awaiting for you." He turned and left; I could swear I saw a tear running down his face.

I stood there at the doorway, Shining Armor vanished in one of the many hallways. He can avoid me now, but one day I'll find out his secrets.

I would follow him and offer a friendly shoulder to cry, but never mind.

I just want some food.

Oh the paradise!

I opened the doors leading to the dinning room, and dear god; there were food, plenty of it. Salads, breads, cheese, and many other tasty things that I don't have idea of what it was.

It had so much food that I almost didn't noticed Celestia teaching Luna how to eat a banana. What the-

She spat the fruit, and threw it away with a magic blast. I would ask about it, but never mind, I really don't wanna lose my appetite.

And talking about appetite, I was in trance with all that pony food; I just sat down on a random chair, not even bothering to talk with the two red faced alicorns right across the table.

Were do I begin?

Bread, oh delicious bread! I got some cheese and- what's this? Lettuce? I stuck everything inside the bread, and build a sandwich. Of course they don't eat any kind of meat here, but thanks to the angels, gods, heavens, whatever's up there, they don't mind-

"Eggs!"

When I was just about to toss some inside my sandwich, Luna took my fork and my plate away with her magic.

"Richard!"

"Thou art a Prince now, and shall act as one!" She dragged my chair to her side.

"Thou must sit by my side at the table, make use of the correct silverware to each kind of food, as so as the cups!" ... And took away my glass of juice, which I had placed in a wine goblet.

"Oh, come on, I'm starving! And, why do you need silverware if you can magically levitate your food?" I asked

"It's a matter of etiquette Richard, it's impolite to levitate food!"

Oh the irony...

"Interesting for you to say that food levitation is impolite, when yourself was like... Harassing a banana!" She gasped at that.

"I w-wasn't... I-It was just-" Celestia just laughed at her face.

"Please Lulu, just let the poor famine eat! You can save the etiquette lecture for later."

Luna rolled her eyes.

"Very well Richard, eat what thou wilt. Just don't go around thinking that we will forget about the etiquette." She sighed "We should send you to a good manners school"

Hmmmmm, then the pony thinks that I don't have manners isn't it?

Very well, I must show her what dad taught me...

During the rest of the lunch as well of the entire day, I spoke, acted, ate, walked and behaved as the worst type of snooty noble in this world.

On earth, while I was young, my family was somewhat used to deal with these kind of idiots, and as the first and only kid of my father, I had to learn every single boring detail of this stupid of lifestyle.

From how to fold and eat a lettuce, to how speak and act like a royal 'blue blood'.

And talking about blue bloods...

I had the interesting experience of meeting one of Celestia's nephews. A stallion ironically named Blue Blood. Coincidence isn't it? Anyway, he's just a cocky, dumb unicorn. But for an unknown reason, he seemed to like me.

Maybe it has some relation with my noble way of speaking, or due to my little story about how I was the king of 'Vegas Empire' on earth.

Can you believe it? The guy almost licked my shoes after that! Ha ha

"...I have to say Princess, this was surely one of the finest dinners I ever had. Of course the presence of your majesty added an extra touch of splendor to the night. I can't barely wait for delight myself with another of these delicious hors d'oeuvres, surely the chef would-"

"For my sister's sake Richard. Stop!"

It's working!

"Oh, my apologies your highness, did I said something inappropriate? It was not of my intent to bother you my Princess, if you want, I can-"

"Stop Stop Stop! We surrender! I was wrong about this, you're an educated and polite human! Now can you please, stop acting like Blue Blood? It's killing me!" She said.

"Oh... About that... I thought you wanted me to act like a prince." Yes Richard, soak your words with sarcasm!

*sigh* "Yes we wanted, but we also were equally wrong! Please Rick... Just cease with this." I chuckled at the pleading pony. Very well, she learned her lesson. Yet, I have other plans in my mind.

"Okay Luna, I'll stop." I said.

"Oh thanks Celestia!" She hugged me.

"I'll stop with one condition..." A grin spread through my face. Damn, I could be an incredible villain.

"Condition? What kind of condition?"

"Oh, nothing too relevant I assure you. In fact, it's quite simple: You just have to tell me what exactly happened on the night I came here, and I'll quit acting like an idiot."

Boy, that was just... Evil!

Fuck it, this is how life works girl, living and learning.

" I-I, how could y-you! *sigh* Fine!"

Victory!!

I was happy, shit, how I was happy! It was a stupid joy of course. Knew about how we married wouldn't solve my problems (not that I have any major problem right now.)

Anyway, I just kissed Luna. I mean, it was the least I could do isn't it?

"I'm sorry about that okay? But I need to know soon or later..."

"We know this. I just wasn't sure how would we tell you that. But couldn't you wait until tomorrow? We vow to tell everything you must want to know!" The night princess said, holding my hand with her hoof.

"Fine, It's a deal!" I smiled, she smiled, everyone-pony won!

Luna went to her night court, It was late and I decided to have some sleep. I was slowly getting used to the castle, well, at least the path between her tower, and the dinning room.

Halfway to the staircase, something outside caught my attention; In one of the nearby towers, a faint purplish glow enlightened its windows. But it wasn't the glow who drew my sight, yet, the silhouette of a pony right on the top of it, sitting on the roof.

What the hell?

It couldn't be Celestia or Luna, because it was significantly smaller than the princesses. It had a horn; this way the options were restricted to an Alicorn, or a suicidal Unicorn.

The mysterious being flew from the tower and disappeared on the night skies. I don't fucking know what the hell it was, but a shiver ran through my spine.

What I did?

Of course I ran like a little girl to my room and hid under the covers, everyone knows that monsters can't get you here!

Or can they?

Author's Note

Yes, Finally an update. I must say, I wasn't expecting this story to reach over 50 likes (I know that 50 likes are irrelevant) but anyway. Please, remember to like/favorite the story! It helps it helps me to stay happy (Yay!)

Just hope you've enjoyed this chapter, and as ever, feel free to comment about it!

Until next one.

• PedroHander