"Look who finally came to visit! I was starting to wonder if you were just a weird dream." Frosted Thimble exclaimed as she glomped me.

"Woah there." I gasp as the furry missile bowls me over.

She appears to be happy to see you.

Oh really?

Nice to see you, mind letting me breath? Fortunately she hadn't snapped my board.

"What can I say? It's been ages since I've last seen you. Sparx was even starting to wonder if they dumped you off a cliff somewhere."

Sparx just needs to stop projecting on to others. I write out with a small laugh.

"Come back into the kitchen and tell me about it while I make some tea."

Following the mare to the back, I make myself comfortable as she puts the pot on.

Overall it was actually pretty boring. Wake up early, get yelled at all day, and eventually pass out just to start it all over again.

"Oh really? All of those recruits just accepted you at face value with no additional shenanigans happening?"

Well, I did have a mare dump salt into my drink at lunch so I'd be drunk for combat training. That was fun.

"Oh? And how'd you get around that and pass?"

Have you ever given one of your humans salt?

"Nope. Why would I want to get a human wasted?"

Because salt doesn't do anything for us past increasing our chance for heart-attacks if you eat too much of it. I even tested it on one of the guard's humans just to see if she was actually being an idiot or if it was another Alien thing, and it didn't do a thing.

After calming down from a fit of very manly giggling, she set a cup in front of me.

"So I take it you thrashed her real good?"

Eyup, though her friend managed to get me and go on to win the whole thing.

"Good. I'd hate for some uppity mare to get the best of you. So what's the plan now?"

I'm going to spend time around here with Kemo to get a feel for things. After that, I'm probably going to become Commandant Crow's favorite spy.

"Doesn't sound like you'll have much time to spend around here." The mare accuses me with a pout.

I'll find a way. Probably. It might take a while for the wanderlust to wear off. I never really had fantasies of exploring a world of magic, but I'm not going to pass up the offer now that I've got it.

"Oh well, just remember you'll always have a home here."

Thanks for that, it means a lot. Scooting over, I give her a hug to show my appreciation.

"Just so long as I get a few days to spend with you before Kemo whisks you away. I might have to give her a piece of my mind if she shows up too soon."

Laughing, I ease her concerns. Don't worry, she shouldn't be her for awhile. They gave me a week of leave before starting, and that should have started yesterday.

"Perfect! Just let me go shut the shop down right quick."

I wondered if you'd heard that I'd made it back in town, since our communications have been spotty as of late. I told the sandy mare as she entered The Spindle.

"Of course I have, and you're not exactly the most subtle of humans."

Oh? What tipped you off?

"I had a day at the spa yesterday, which you passed by on the way here. Not that I was there at the time, but some of the less... Savory mares had noticed your outfit while on your way here."

Looking down at the Lunar Guard uniform they'd given me, she might have had a point. Not too many humans walk around in jeans and dappled grey tunic with matching cloak.

They tried to replace my jeans and boots with some weird pants and shoes, but I had to hard pass on them. I told her with a laugh.

"You're going to cry yourself to sleep for a month when those wear out, aren't you?" She replied with false sympathy.

Normally I would, since getting good leather here seems like it'd be a chore, but I asked the Princesses to put a protection spell on them. These bad boys will still be going strong while my bones are dust! I wrote out, giving the mare a wide grin.

"And how in the name of the Sun and Moon did you get the Princesses to bestow you with such a favor?"

"I'm guessing he asked them to do it as a graduation gift, since I doubt anypony was there for him during graduation." Frosty told the mare as she walked in from the back with new product.

Hey! No spoilers! Also not entirely correct. I actually just asked Princess Luna after the celebration at the bar and she agreed before bidding me farewell.

Sparx didn't look convinced. "Really? You just asked?"

Eyup. No idea why it worked. I didn't even get to try out bribery or pouting.

"It's just your natural charisma coming through." The winged mare reassure me.

"Yeah. Charisma. I'm sure that's exactly what it was."

So I've been going through boot camp, what have you been up to Sparx?

"Not too much. Though I just got back from Las Pegasus, which should have given me enough bits for the next few months.

Oh? Do the casinos here tell people who are too lucky to not return?

"And what makes you think I'm too lucky?"

Call it a gut feeling.

"Like I'd ever do such a thing. Only amateurs try and get away with everything. But, to a casino, a pony only walking away with a thousand or so bits? Just the system working as intended."

And, of course, if you do it across half of the many casinos that I'm assuming there are...

"Like I said, the next few months are going to be nice and relaxing. So what's your next move, Mr. Lunar Guard?"

Oh, not much. I'm 'apprenticing' under Ke'mot. If that goes well, they said something about having me wander around, gathering information and being a general nuisance to evil-doers.

"That's great! So instead of keeping you to one place like normal, they're just going to have you constantly moving to keep ponies from getting suspicious?"

"You are a nuisance, so at least they've got you pegged right."

I might even get to travel the world. I never considered myself touched by wanderlust, but then again, the only regions of my home that weren't explored were deep within a few jungles and the deepest parts of the oceans. Here, though, is an entirely new world literally full of magic and monsters!

"A world without magic just seems wrong."

"No kidding." The unicorn concurred.

It's not so bad if it's all you know. We also had some pretty neat technology. And guns, I'm going to miss my old hunting rifle. Guess I'll just get a bow at some point to fill the void.

"The Lunar Guard has their own provisioners, so you should be able to get something custom made. A human with a bow's pretty conspicuous though, once you have it I might be able to make you something to help hide it."

Thanks Frosty, I'll definitely take you up on that offer later.

"No problem. So how about we go see a movie? There's a place a few blocks down that's owned by a costumer of mine, so it only costs half a leg to get a bag of popcorn."

"There is a new Daring Do movie out, seems like it could be fun." Sparx helpfully chimed in.

I'm down to clog my arteries on popcorn.

"Perfect!"

"That movie was AWESOME! She was all like kick, pow, over the edge with you tomb robbers!" The white mare exclaimed as she tried to reenact one of the fight scenes as she flew along the road home.

"It veered off from the books a little bit, but it was definitely a good movie."

I didn't realize you had Indiana Jones here. The mares gave me a confused look at that.

"Who's Indiana Jones?" The pegasus asked.

Think human male Daring Do, but more Nazi's and less mythical creatures.

"What's a Nazi?" The unicorn got in on the questioning.

"And why didn't you invite your good friend to the movie as well?" A voice asked from a nearby alley.

"Who are you calling friend?" Sparx questioned the voice.

"Mostly the gangly monkey beside you." Ke'mot responded as she stepped out of the shadows, possibly literally.

"Hey there, long time, no see. Gotta say, I like what you've done with the human, he's got a little more meat on his bones now." The seamstress replied.

"A pleasure to see you again, though sadly I wasn't able to be his drill sergeant. Something about 'not killing the poor lad'."

"Well that sounds like a tale. Want to come over for a cup of tea?"

"I'd be delighted, thank you."

And with that our little group made our way back to The Spindle. Setting up in the kitchen with the tea our gracious host had made us, we continued idling chatting about the movie and other little bits. Just a casual night drinking and bullshitting with friends. The impromptu party lasting a couple of hours before Ke'mot got up to be on her way.

"Oh, and before I forget, I need you at my home by noon Jack. The Commandant has a job for us."

Not a problem. I'll see you then. Night Kemo.

"Thanks for stopping by Kemo, it was nice to have you around." Our gracious host bade her farewell.

"I'll probably be seeing you around too." Our ever optimistic unicorn added in.

Sounds like I should probably get to bed then. Don't want to risk being late on the first day of the job.

"Thanks for the tea Frosty, it's always a pleasure, but I should probably be on my way too."

"Good night Sparx, see you later."

Night. And as the mare made her way out the front it signaled the end of our little party that night.

After a lovely breakfast with Frosty, I was nearly to the cabin when Ke'mot exited the front door.

"You showed up on time, I guess I can't punish you by making you carry all of the gear now." She greeted me while wearing a pair of saddlebags. Walking over to grab my pack off her back, I gave her a friendly nod and hand wave to continue. "The Commandant wants us to go north. There's been rumors that a particularly vicious bandit leader is starting to get a following that's too big for the Solars to handle."

So head up there, kill the guy and spook the followers to splinter them, and let the Solar Guards clean up the small messes?

"Exactly. Shall we get started?"

Of course.

Dear Princess Luna?

Honestly, I've forgotten the specifics on how to write a formal letter. At least, I think I'm supposed to be writing letters to you. Kemo wasn't being particularly helpful when she said that you had requested that I do "Friendship Journals," so I'm just going to write it like the bastard son of a friendly letter, a report, and a diary.

So, we went up north to take a bandit leader down a notch, and we learned that the Solar Guard's information was rather off. She wasn't really a leader of bandits, more like a preacher of zealots. Which caused our little operation of cutting the head off the snake to turn into an operation of kill the hydra. It took a week, but I think we managed to track down all of the leadership. Hopefully the Solars will be able to take care of the small fry. It did make a good testing ground for the skills I'd learned at boot, and reestablished that bad ponies are easy to seduce. For some reason nobody expects the human stab the leader with her own knife. Kemo said we can go and get me a bow the next time we have a chance to drop by Canterlot. It'll be nice to do more than twiddle my thumbs while she stealthily takes out the sentries.

Maybe I'll give Snap and Comet a visit if they're at HQ, see if Comet's drunken truce was true or not. Oh, and if you're wondering, Werda is still in my head, but doesn't say much. She's apparently mastered dreamwalking and spends her time borrowing the dreams of some of your greater minds at night to figure out how to return to a real body. Not sure what she does during the day when said minds are awake, but I guess some of them must sleep during the times I'm awake. I've still got no idea why you wanted me to write these, but if you want to slog through my musings I won't deny you such a favor.

Jack, the Lunar Ranger

Author's Note

It only took half a decade, but I finally managed to finish this up in a way that doesn't involve me completely hating myself, and I even managed to add a hook so I can add short little musings so the little bastards stop running around my head at night! I can't promise more journal entries, but I can tell you they'll be of a more rambling nature like the ending.

So thanks for all of the support, hope you enjoyed the ride. Oh, and hell yeah! I'm the first non-oneshot YHaY story to put a complete tag up! It's kinda sad when you think about it...