The Night Robin

My bare feet made no noise upon the marble-tiled floors, with the absence of wooden floors, came the absence of creaking boards. A true gift to any sneaker, for creaking boards have spoiled many a midnight raid. Rounding a corner, a disturbing snap was all the warning I got before I felt the stabbing pain of a stubbed toe, the pinky toe nevertheless.

Do not scream, do not fucking scream whatever you do, DO NOT SCREAM! I mentally told myself, hopping in short, staccato bounds, trying to avoid alerting any servants or family members within.

Within a short amount of time, I had mentally mapped out the entire bottom floor, 16 rooms, each with a different purpose. Including a pantry, which I had promptly raided, probably getting some servant fired in the future. Creeping up a grand mahogany staircase, I came upon the second, and last floor of the mansion. Seeing two silhouettes of ponies in a distant moonlit window, I immediately hid behind a pillar. Peeking out, I strained my ears to listen in on their muffled conversation.

“I don’t care, Silver. I will not have you lust over ANY of our humans. I will not allow my wife to indulge in beastiallity, it’s shameful! What if the other nobles find out?”

“Everypony fucks their humans, and everypony knows they do it Forest!”

“We’re not most nobles ,we are from a proud military family, WITH MORALS! Others may stoop to such indulgences, but we will not!”

“FINE!,” Shouted Silver, opening a door, and shutting it behind her with force. I hid behind the pillar, and held my breath as Forest stormed past me, fortunately his eyes remained forward, and he did not notice my almost naked form pressed behind the pillar. Hearing him thunder down the stairs told me that he was angry, and that he probably was heading to my cage. I took this into consideration, and began to quickly map out the hallways and layout. Before I heard hoofsteps, rapid ones echoing up the staircase. I ran towards the window, but fast enough. For there was Forest staring right at me.

“There you are boy, ssssh it’s okay, come here. Come here boy!” He whispered, tapping his hoof on the floor as if I was some dog. I stared at him silently for a moment then opened my mouth.

“No! Go eat a gigantic dick!”

He stood there, flabbergasted at what just happened. I happily broke the window with my fist, cutting a deep gash into my hand in the process. I then leaped out unceremoniously, landing belly first into a hedge. Now, falling unto hard woody branches from 2 stories, on your belly hurts. So naturally, I screamed, then shut my mouth via my bloody fist.

Why would I jam my bloody, bleeding fist into my mouth? Blood trails. They could just follow the blood straight to me, and then im back to being some noble’s bitch.

Picking my scratched belly off of the hedge, I rolled off, onto hard cobblestone. I ran quickly to the fence, and began to scramble up it. Careful not to agitate my hand wound, I got to the top and slowed down. After all, tearing my nuts off would be extremely painful. Both to me, and any poor bastard who happens to be nearby. I hit the ground, landing on my feet, and buckled down onto my hands as to handle the fall without being injured. I then proceeded to run into the city.

After running what I assumed was a mile, and scaring many ponies. I was in what appeared to be the “Brooklyn” area of this city. Stopping to catch my breath, I noticed that my hand had not stopped bleeding, and my mouth was filled with my own blood. Spotting a nearby homeless pony, with some precious blankets. I creeped up next to him, being absolutely silent so as to not alert him to my presence.

I violently slapped his face, and he rose in shock. When he spotted me, his face twisted into pure unadulterated terror. I opened my mouth, letting blood run down my chin, and fall onto the pavement. “

SURRENDER YOUR SOUL UNTO ME!” Gargling my blood and phlegm in the process, creating a demonic, soul-sundering voice. The homeless pony screeched in terror, fleeing as fast as his legs could carry him.

I laughed harshly as I spat out the remaining blood, and looked for the cleanest, odor-free blanket I could find, then wrapped it around my hand tight. The fabric stung at my wound first, and the blanket would prove clumsy, however it was still better than bleeding out.

The familiar tones of hushed voices brought me back to reality. I rounded the alleyway to observe three hooded ponies. Their garb could have easily been taken directly from any of a multitude of games. They spoke in hushed tones, but I was able to pick out a few phrases.

“Did you hear about Fling?”

“Maybe. Was she that new fence from Gryphonia that the guild hired ?”

“Yeah, she’s that one. Guild’s packed right now, and a fence can only have up to 3 thieves working for ‘em at a time. Right now, she’s looking for a thief or a group of thieves who can steal the Avernus family heirloom, along with various paperwork that belongs to Mr.Avernus, if we can snatch those, Mr. Avernus will lose all credibility and power in the guard. That means easier money for the guild, and us.”

While they were talking, I managed to grab a satchel laying nearby, careful not to rip open the velcro seal loudly. I peeked inside, and found all sorts of thieving tools, bobby-pins, a crowbar, a dagger, a camcorder that could be hidden easily, various other things. Including a... playcolt magazine? I suppressed laughing at the extra-dimensional playboy mag, and decided to make off with the satchel before they knew that I took it.

I began to climb the side of a brick-walled building, so I could travel by rooftop, trying to leap as little as possible. Knowing death or serious injury could be just a misjudged hop away, I proceeded to make my way back towards House Avernus, avoiding the occasional upward look from a pony or two. Until I finally was perched in a position from where I could watch the house, and make my move when ready.

Hours passed before daylight began to shine over the horizon. It was then, in the crisp morning air, that I heard the sound of large double doors creaking open. I turned my attention towards the Hold of Avernus, and saw Forest, dressed in golden armor, leading his son towards a... School Chariot, that would be the best term to use.

I waited patiently for the father to finish standing in the middle of the walkway, before watching him trot off towards the magnificent looking palace in the distance. Due to the distance, I couldn't tell much about it, other than it had kicked physics in the balls and declared it’s independence.

That was when I realized his wife was probably home alone. That was when the ultimate insult to him creeped into my mind, Oh I’ll rob you of more than just your property.

I’ve met you once, Mr. Avernus, but I’ve robbed you twice.